Tape in the Car
by JojoTea
Summary: Natsu is the life of the party when it comes to going out, and he goes out often. That includes going to a coffee shop where one of the coffee boys gives him an ice coffee. Here he meets Gray, a cheeky college student he cant get out of his head. Welcome to the 1990's.
1. An Ice Coffee

**Hey guys! So this is another Fairy Tail story! Its set in the 1990's (1994) just because I think it's pretty rad. So I hope you'll like what's in store. I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

What was better than a party, was a party with good, loud music. See, when Natsu was asked to go to a party (which was too often), he'd always asked, " _What kind of music will be playing?"_ first before he would even consider going or crashing it. He didn't need to be caught at some two story house of a suburb, where music had to be played in the basement only because their parents would be mad and they were afraid of noise complaints. Where the only genre of music was the kind you danced to, not the kind you could sit and feel your angst build up inside of you. That was the only good parties Natsu knew.

That's why Natsu was reluctant to go to Lucy Heartfilia's weekend party. She wasn't the type of girl to blast _Nirvana_ or _Pearl Jam_ at a party. Lucy was a good friend of Natsu's; best friends even, since the first year of high school, somehow every year, they would be placed in the same classes no matter what. They always tried getting together to schedule something different every semester and year, (even they got sick of seeing each other) but they always ended seeing each other in class. It was a good thing though, they didn't have to make many friends since they were together in every class and they always had a partner for projects.

But, Lucy, at first didn't seem like she would be one of Natsu's friends let alone one of his best friends. She was the type of girl that wore pleated skirts and knee high socks. No place to hold a Walkman or headphones. Natsu even thought she was ditsy for the longest time. But by some twist of fate, the bouncing blonde and Natsu became friends, despite their obvious differences.

"Natsu, come on," Lucy whine, bending over Natsu's desk, "This is my first party! It would be awesome if you could come, please? You're great for parties."

"Sorry, not going to it. You don't need me to advertise for you," Natsu replied, looking through his bag, "Find yourself another partier."

"You know I don't want you there just because of that."

"Yeah sure you don't 'Natsu will be there, you know some shit will go down. So will you come to my party?'"

Lucy groaned, and took off Natsu's headphones, "Come on, I've done so many favors for you, you could do this on thing for me," She pouted, "I don't know why it's a hassle for you. You love parties."

"A favor is when I ask you to do something, you doing my homework for me last minute or getting me albums when I didn't ask for any of them isn't doing me a favor," Natsu pointed out _,_ "And I don't just love any kind of party, I love _great_ parties."

"And I'm telling you it's going to be great. They'll be lots of snacks."

"Ooo, lots of chips and twelve different types of dips. Sounds riveting."

"It won't be like that and you know it. You devour food at my house. There will be beer."

"Where did a girl like you get beer?" Natsu asked.

"Oh, a girl like me finds her way," Lucy turned her head a smirked, "You can get anything once you're wearing a tight top don't you know… And when you have a good amount of money on you…"

"I'll keep that in mind next time I want someone to buy me alcohol. Still, don't feel like going. Where the fuck is my tape?" Natsu mumbled.

"There will be a ton of hot guys," Lucy sang, "Hot older guys around town who will be super nice for a night with a cutie like you."

"Don't ever call me a _cutie_ again. And it's not hard for me to have a one night stand with a guy. I don't even need a party to meet hot older guys. Very tempting though," Natsu huffed, "Damn, I must have forgotten it at home."

"What is it?"

"My _Sonic Youth_ tape, we listened to it at your house last weekend, I was for sure that put it in my bag this morning."

"Oh? You think so? I thought you would be looking for that," Lucy smirked and lowered her backpack off her shoulder, rummaging in her bag, "I didn't think it would actually come to this and I'd have to do this."

Natsu rose an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

Lucy took out a tape from between her fingers, "I mean I've taken your tape hostage for you to come to my party."

"You've had my _Sonic Youth_ tape for a week and you didn't tell me?!"Natsu exclaimed, standing up quick, "How long have you had it"

"Long enough for me to learn I can use it to my advantage."

"Give me."

Lucy flicked her wrist back and stood up straight, "Not until you say, 'I'll go to your party, now give me.'"

"Lucy." Natsu grumbled through clenched teeth.

"What did I just say, Natsu?" Lucy put her hands on her hips, "Either you come to the party or I'm adding _Sonic Youth_ to my collection."

"You know I'm not afraid to hit a girl."

"You're so feisty with your music."

"I am when I'm passionate about something. You know that."

The bell rang, the shuffle of student moving to their seats and the teacher finishing a page of her book before getting up. Lucy shrugged and tucked the tape in the back her small pocket of her jeans. Natsu hit his fist lightly on the desk and annoyingly bit his lip.

"Wait," Natsu quietly called, Lucy turned her head back, "When is this party again?"

Lucy grinned, "Saturday. Parents are out for the weekend."

"Business?"

"It's always business. Starts at nine."

"Will there be people I actually know there? Other than you?"

Lucy nodded, "Of course. I already asked Erza and Juvia but you better hurry and make up your mind, I have to sit down soon for class. Then you'll have to wait for your precious tape."

Lucy waved the tape in Natsu's face like some soft of animal being teased with a huge hunk of meat. Natsu was getting pissed being treated like this.

"I'll be able to score something yeah?"

"Probably, I dunno."

Natsu groaned, "Alright, okay, what kind of music will be playing?"

"Party music. Duh."

"You know what I mean. What genre?"

"Come to the party and find out." Lucy softly laughed.

"Fucking hell," Natsu mumbled, "You're horrible sometimes. Okay, fine, I'll go. You have my word, now give me my tape."

Lucy smiled and got the tape, placing it gently on the desk. Natsu snatched it and shoved it in his bag, glaring at her while she walked away.

"See you Saturday, love." Lucy said

"Hate you."

Natsu heard Lucy giggle as she sat down. The teacher had finally started class and all was silent except for her voice. Natsu wasn't listening, he got out the tape and kept flipping it over in his hand. Almost for relief.

Of course he really didn't hate Lucy. But you don't ever use a man's music against him.

* * *

When Natsu wasn't ready yet to come home yet from school, he'd stop by a coffee shop on the walk from school to home. More often than sometimes he'd go to the shop. It's not like he didn't like his house, it just was always empty. His dad left him a long time ago when he was young and he didn't know his mother. He lived in a small apartment, luckily paid for by his legal guardian and brother Zeref.

But that meant he had to work often so he was usually out late. Zeref worked for a computer company by fixing software bugs. The house just felt lonely most of the time, he didn't get the best feeling by coming to a home that didn't have anything but a cat usually. So going to a coffee shop with cheap decent coffee and good amount of people for a few hours sounded pretty good.

Natsu pushed open the door, lowering the volume on his Walkman and hung his headphones around his neck. A few girls were in line ordering, giggling, maybe over the cute coffee guy taking their order. Girls always seemed to be here. Natsu sat in a booth by a long wall of windows. He sat down his book bag and glanced over at the line. The girls seemed to have gotten their drinks and he walked towards the counter.

"Welcome to Fairy Hills coffee shop, what can I get for you?" The boy greeted.

"Yeah, hi, can I get a regular coffee and…." Natsu trailed, looking at the baked goods behind the glass, "How fresh are these muffins."

"I couldn't tell you sir, sorry."

Natsu sighed, "It's fine, I'll take a chocolate chip muffin too."

"One muffin and one coffee," He listed as he rang Natsu up, "That'll be two thirty-five, sir."

Natsu got out his wallet from his jacket pocket and got out three dollars, "Keep the change."

"Thank you- Gray! I need a coffee, regular!"

"Gotcha!" Gray (Natsu assumed) called back.

Natsu heard mumbling as he walked back to his table. He took off his jacket and opened up his bag, he usually kept five tapes on him. Enough to last him bus rides (music helped his motion sickness), passing to classes, and lunch. He rummaged through his bag and read the labels quickly. Natsu picked his _Pixies_ tape and popped out his older tape and put in the new one. Natsu turned up the volume, his coffee wouldn't be much longer.

"Coffee, chocolate muffin!"

That was Natsu's order being called, he walked back to the counter. He picked up his paper coffee cup and muffin, wrapped in a napkin.

"Enjoy." Gray said.

"Thanks."

Natsu started to walk back and bit into the muffin. It was a little stale and dry; just how Natsu liked it. He dug into his bag quick and tried to estimate what time it was. It was probably around five or so, he thought it was the perfect time to take his medication. Natsu quietly poured out two pills from a bottle and snuck them in his mouth. He took a sip of his coffee and choked down his beverage. He coughed into his sleeve.

"Fuck," Natsu said scratchy. He glared and started to walk back to the counter. He then shivered, "Hey!"

Gray turned his head back and walked towards Natsu, "Something I can do for you? I'll do anything for you if you won't make a ton of noise in the shop."

"Yeah, I asked for a regular coffee, not an iced one," Natsu said, "I don't know how hard it is to get an order right but could I get a hot coffee?"

"Sorry, man," Gray apologized, taking the travel cup, "It's been a long day, ton of people are getting ice coffee's in the summer, it's what I'm used to."

"Yeah, well, it's whatever," Natsu sighed, annoyed. Obviously Gray noticed, "Could you bring it to my table? You're not busy making ice coffees now."

Gray narrowed his eyes and smiled, fake of course, "Yeah, sure."

Natsu turned back and put his headphones on. He hated when people couldn't get things right, it's not like he asked for much. It was whatever, he sat down in his booth and got out his notebook and trig textbook.

 _Homework. Yippee._

Natsu saw his new cup of coffee as he opened his textbook, "Here you go, nice and hot this time," Gray said, "Enjoy, hot-head."

Natsu didn't hear Gray, he just waved him off and chewed his pen. Gray huffed from the lack of communication and walked away. Natsu looked at the first problem of the night.

* * *

It was about two hours later, three muffins, and two more cups of coffee until Natsu was thinking about leaving to go home. But he had been working on a notebook doodle for a while now, and he had another tape in his bag. Zeref didn't come home until nine either, he still had time to kill.

Natsu was drawing a friend of his, one that looked like he would be friends with. Erza, standing on a rock holding out a sword in broken armor. Pieces of flesh showing with pixies around her and her boyfriend (Jellal) next to her feet. Her long hair blowing. Erza was like one of those amazon warriors people write about, bold, intimidating, and scarier than hell. She was in a grunge phase too which made her fucking terrifying, she was in different colors of woolen plaid every day, some sort of dark colored crop top tee or muscle shirt in the summer and clunky shoes that looked like they belonged in a war. She is an idol that should be kept sacred in a museum for children to look at for years to come and to be made into epic poems. She was what legends wish they were made of.

He did this a lot, drawing his friends as if they were from some sort of fantasy story that was never made. He wish he was a writer than an artist sometime. He'd have some great stories to tell. Last time he was here he drew Lucy underwater, arguing with a beautiful mermaid. Bubbles rapidly popping from their mouths and Lucy's make up fading from the water. He wanted to color this drawing, but he could only shade and outline on line paper. Natsu wondered what made him think of things like this. Maybe the highs stayed in his mind. He didn't care, they always turned out great.

A muffin and new coffee was sat down. Natsu was surprised to see the hands and perked up, he lowered off his headphones. It was Gray, Natsu forgot that he was even here still.

"Oh, I didn't ask for this-"

"It's fine," Gray interrupted, "It's on the house for me giving you that ice coffee. We only had banana nut left, hope you're not allergic or some shit. You seemed like you were… Working hard but I see I was wrong."

"Hey, I'm working hard."

"Yeah, hard on some warrior goddess babe or something," Gray stuffed his hands in his olive apron pockets, "Is that textbook just for show?"

"I _did_ do some work for your information," Natsu bit into the muffin, "I just… Thought I'd take a break."

"A two hour break?" Gray laughed, "You're a really good artist by the way. I like the style."

"Oh, yeah, thanks," Natsu swallowed his muffin and took another sip of coffee, "Am I keeping you busy or something? Don't you have, I don't know, work to do?"

"Look around here, no one is here on a Thursday at eight. Only high school kids like you doing homework and they only stay till seven."

Natsu didn't noticed how empty the place was till Gray pointed it out. He had his face down in sheets of notebook paper and he'd only go over to get more food or another coffee.

"So what are you doing here so late? You don't look much older than me?"

"I'm here because I'm a college student, they work you to the bone when you're in college. I used to stock, now i'm here closing almost every night. They also pay you more when you take the late shift "

"Cry me a river then," Natsu said and shaded Erza's armor, "Maybe you should use this time to study. You know, since you're 'worked to the bone' and probably have no time to do it."

"I already did at seven. I finished my psychology paper a while ago. I got bored and knew you were still here."

"Ah, so am I just something to do, yeah?"

Gray chuckled slightly, leaning over on the table on his forearms, "Basically, yeah."

Natsu hummed, "Wonderful. But I have a tape to listen to and math homework so…."

"Oh yeah? What tape is it?"

"Um, _Sonic Youth_ ," Natsu said, "I've been listening to it a lot."

"Take it out of the player?"

Natsu raised an eyebrow, "My dad always told me to never give my tapes to strangers."

"Do you do what your daddy always tells you to do?"

"I try to respect his wishes."

"Break the rule just once? I'll make sure nothing happens to it in my hands."

Gray smiled, sweetly but crooked. Natsu rolled his tongue and popped out the tape and handed it to Gray. He didn't know why, but he could trust that smile for some reason. Gray curled his fingers around the tape,

"I'll pay for any damages that may happen."

"Don't even joke about that."

Gray held up the tape as he walked to the back of the _Employee's Only_ room of the coffee shop, the door closing.

 _What the hell does he think he's doing with my tape?_

After a few minutes, Natsu noticed the soft sound and lyrics of _Disapperer_ and Gray walked out of the room.

"Great, now we can talk while you listen to the tape," Gray slipped into the booth seat across from Natsu, "We have a player in the back, the manager doesn't like playing music but, guess who isn't here tonight?"

"You just wanted to talk to me, didn't you?"

"I've used the fact that I have headphones as an excuse before so I don't have to talk to anyone. I think this is better though."

"Is that a fact?"

Gray nodded, "Sure is. Don't you remember? You're something for me to do. You wouldn't want to see me bored, would you?"

"How could I live with myself if I did that?"

"Don't ask me," Gray shrugged, "Do you always draw when you come here?"

"Most likely yeah."

"Bring any with you?"

"No, but I have some drawings from school, if you want you can see those," Natsu suggested, "You can look at them while I finish this up. They're mostly just drawings of friends."

Gray smiled, putting his hands on his cheeks, "I'm Gray."

"Natsu."

* * *

Natsu didn't think he would stay much longer after Gray took interest with him. He thought he'd quickly scarf his muffin, drink his coffee, and ask for his tape back. Instead, he stayed until Gray closed up. Natsu couldn't even remember what they talked about. Probably school, music, and maybe about hobbies. All he knew was that he somewhat enjoyed it.

He had to admit though, he probably kept talking to him because Gray was pretty hot. He was Natsu's type, pale skin, dark hair, and a crude personality he couldn't get enough of. Natsu almost wished he would have noticed Gray earlier. Instead of him being background noises and a coffee jockey.

Gray already wanted that.

Natsu unlocked the door and closed it. His brothers' head poked around the corner after Happy ran down the hall, meowing gladly and curling around Natsu's legs.

"Natsu, hey," Zeref said, "What are you doing out late?"

"I went to a coffee shop to work on some homework," Natsu replied, taking of his jacket the shoes, "I lost track of time. Were you worried?"

"Nah, you're old enough to take care of yourself. I just want to make sure you come home at a reasonable time. I don't need police dropping you off at two in the morning like other times before."

Natsu rolled his eyes, "So basically you just don't want me to get caught."

"Pretty much, yeah. Anyway, how was your day?"

"Like every day. School isn't different until your four years is up. You know how it is, you did your time too. What about you?"

Natsu picked up Happy and walked passed Zeref, keeping his hand on his bag strap.

"I had to help work with tech support today. Everyone is getting sick so it was busy and horrible," Zeref yawned, "Hey, I just started _Breakfast Club_ , it's only fifteen minutes in. Want to watch it?" Zeref asked.

"Sorry, I'm pretty tired, I should get to bed. School night you know?"

Zeref always did this when he thought Natsu was being "neglected". Natsu wasn't in the mood for that tonight, but he wasn't ready to go to bed either, not after sweets and coffee. Zeref could the hint Natsu was dropping.

"Oh yeah, sure. I get it. I'll try to keep it down out here."

"Thanks. Remember your pills. Night."

" I will. Night. See you in the morning."

Natsu walked to his room and closed the door. He deeply sighed and threw his bag on the bed, dropping Happy on the ground with a final pet. He took off his shirt and hopped on the bed. He looked up at the ceiling, Happy hopped on his stomach. Natsu ran his hand on Happy's fur. He was at that time of night were thoughts of the day run together. That time where you think, what if I did this differently today. Or what did I really do today questions.

All he thought of were Gray's cold eyes, contrasting with his warm sly smile. It somehow pissed him off. Natsu clicked his tongue and realised he was bored already. He didn't notice he already had inspiration in his head. Natsu sat up and picked up some sheets of white paper and dull pencils from his nightstand. Happy laid in his lap now.

"Buddy, you're gonna have to move."

Natsu picked up Happy and put him to the side

Gray was his something to do now. He thought of the ice coffee Gray had given him, that evolved into Gray having frost come out of his palms, creating snowflakes. Wearing that smile that made Natsu give him his tape. God he would hope he'd hope Gray would talk to him again. Now Natsu had to connect thoughts to paper.

Natsu rummaged in his bag quick and got out his player. He put on his headphones and looked for his _Sonic Youth_ tape. He sighed.

 _Fuck._

Gray slinked down in the bean bag chair as he took a drag of his cigarette. Trying his hardest to blow out the window; Lyon hated the smell. Lyon was laying on Gray's bed, reading his book. He noticed how blank Gray was.

"Gray, is something wrong?" Lyon asked.

"What? No, why would you think that?"

"Well, first off, you've been home for an hour and you haven't stripped down to your boxers," Lyon began, "Secondly, you haven't talked to me much since you got home. What's wrong with you?"

Gray shook his head, "Nah, no. It's nothing I'm just thinking right now."

"Thinking about what?"

"Thinking about when I'll give this guy who wears a scarf in August his tape back."

"So how's that going?"

"I'm thinking whether or not I'm gonna give it back." Gray smirked.

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review,_ _favorite and follow if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	2. Telephone Radio Music

**Hey guys! So I thought i'd do a quick update since I only have one chapter for this story. Expect an update maybe every week. I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

When Natsu walked into Lucy's house, rock instrumental was blaring from out of open windows and a sliver of an open door. Lucy was off to a good start. Mostly because 1. It was loud as hell, and 2. There was no lyrics but good old instruments. You could never go wrong with instrumental at a party was what Natsu learned from parties. Song lyrics could start to bring you down and not pump you up, instrumental was only feisty. She must have went to a few stores to look for tapes Natsu would enjoy. Not bad.

The thing was, Natsu had a headache and he woke up about two hours ago. He went out the night before and snuck into the house at four in the morning. Erza gave him a ride home, she was the DD of the night and had to make sure that the small group of friends got home by stuffing as many tweaked, stoned, and/or drunk friends in the bed of her truck. Jellal was sleeping in the passenger side. Zeref didn't ask any questions when he found Natsu crashed on the couch, snoring like a monster that had been damned to rest for all of eternity. He just said bye and went to work like a good brother would.

Natsu's head killed him. He smelled, he felt dirty, and he still felt like he could sleep for another eight hours. Instead, he took a Xanax and his moodswing medication, took a shower, smoked a bowl in his towel, got dressed, and took a nap on the bus ride to Lucy's house.

He wish he could have gotten some coffee. Mostly just to see if Gray was working that day. Before he went out on Friday, he stopped by the shop and was able to talk to him again. He found out that he kinda liked Gray. And he was sure Gray might have too. Maybe. Natsu wasn't quite sure what team Gray played for.

The smell of sweat and bundled teenage stench already roamed the house at nine- thirty. Laughter ran, meaningless conversations that no one would care about later, and the whispers of who-would-try- to-lay-who. Natsu assumed people were in the kitchen, not yet starting to get wasted until later. Natsu spotted Lucy, she wore a shiny, no sleeve top and flared jeans. She was talking to a few girls from school and sipped her drink before she saw Natsu.

Lucy's face lit up, she excused herself from the group and practically skipped towards Natsu, she grabbed his forearm smiling widely. Natsu felt a few splashes of Lucy's drink on his forearm and scrunched up cardigan sleeve.

"Natsu! Nice to see you," Lucy said, tightening her hand around his arm, "I thought you would have come later."

"I thought I would too," Natsu said, "I already got ready and thought I had enough money to get a coffee, I went to a club yesterday."

"Wait, were you trying to sober up or something before you came to my house?"

"I tried to, it really didn't work. I spent my money on bribing a bouncer at a club and some shots," Natsu shrugged and took Lucy's drink, "I thought I had enough cash for some coffee and food, but what's better to cure a hangover with more alcohol."

"I can just hear your liver screaming 'please, take me away from the bad man, he's killing me'," Lucy took her drink back, "Come on, socialize. Have fun."

"I am, aren't I?" Natsu asked.

"Only talking to me is not socializing and you seem really sluggish."

"Probably because I smoke before I got here."

"Oh perfect, you're high and hungover. Fantastic," Lucy sighed, "This is great for my first party."

"Luc, I know you've never been at a party with me. It's only nine," Natsu pulled back his arm and took Lucy's drink again, "Give me time and I'll be the life of the fucking party."

"I don't know, you seem pretty out of it. Maybe you should go home, get some sleep."

"Nah, I don't think so. I told you I'd come to the party and I have. I see potential for you."

"Really?" Lucy perked up, smiling, "Think so?"

"Yeah, the music is actually good. I thought you'd be playing pop or something."

"I knew you'd leave if I couldn't find something alternative or whatever. I did have some consideration for you when I was planning this."

"What else will play?"

"Uh, _Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins,_ more instrumental, _Bush,_ stuff like that. All for little old you. Will that be good enough?"

"Perfect," Natsu slammed the rest of the drink and belched, "We're in for another night."

 _I'm in for another night._

* * *

And goddamn was it a good night. After eleven was usually when a party really started. Drinking games would be played, music would start to become sloppy and really becoming the background. Bodies would touch, lips would be licked, and drugs (somehow) were done. Either announced to be sold and taken or on the down-low.

It was just another Saturday for Natsu. Usually at one, he'd be drunk enough to take anything anyone whispered to him or gave him. Anything to get the blood pumping, heart racing, and for his brain to become lost for a while. His body felt like the lyrics to a _Pixies_ song. Most of the time he couldn't remembered what he took or he'd remember what he took before he was stoned.

But he did have his rules. No taking two different pills at the same time, no snorting anything, and no used needles. Natsu went down that way before, he didn't need to do it always remembered these rules, even in the slur of words and stumbling, he somehow remembered. How did high school students even find drugs, anyway? Well, that was a good question. See, in Natsu's case, he didn't sell anything, only bought and received. They just floated into the room, popping up in corridors or bathrooms. Their tongues like snakes and finger nails long enough to make anyone fall under pressure, as long as their hand unfolded to show the real devil behind the demon.

He was the life of the party. Like he promised.

He woke up with his face feeling sticky and his vision blurred. The house was too quiet now, the music lowly played. Everyone was lying over each other now, either on the couch, or stairs or floor. People were either crashed or lowly and tiredly talking. They didn't make much sense, but really the truth never does. Many of the partiers were gone now, a few stragglers stayed. Natsu started to sit up, his cardigan was off (It had been under his head now) and his tee shirt now smelled like alcohol and drool _._ Surrounded by plastic cups and beer bottles scattered.

Natsu ran his fingers through his hair and scratched his head. He saw Lucy on the couch, her pigtails were messy, almost falling out and her head was on Juvia's lap. She looked miserable asleep, Natsu lingered towards the two girls. Juvia seemed pretty sober, her makeup was still clean fuzzy jacket and plaid skirt still kept. She had come over at around ten and survived the hurricane of the night parties gave. She was the wallflower looking over the whole garden.

"Hey, how out of it is she?" Natsu grumbled, "She didn't take anything did she?"

"No, no, just drank a little too much," Juvia whispered, stroking Lucy's hair, "She crashed about an hour ago."

"That's good to know," Natsu chuckled slightly, "She looks like Sailor Moon after a night out of drinking."

"Who?"

"Never mind. Do you know what time it is?"

"About three, I think."

"Shit," Natsu groaned, "Erza and Jellal still here?"

Juvia shook her head, "She left at two."

"Mirajane?"

"Left at one."

"Fucking hell, anyone sober enough to drive still left?"

"I wouldn't trust anyone here to drive," Juvia said, "I'd drive you but I want to stay here with Lucy, I'm pretty sure this is her first time drinking this much."

"Trust me, it is," Natsu sighed, "Fuck, buses aren't running anymore."

"You could take a cab."

"I can't I don't have enough cash for a cab. They make me feel sick anyway. "

"Everything makes you feel sick."

"Cabs are the worst though," Natsu rerolled his jeans and retied his boots. He leaned down towards Lucy and shook her arm gently, "Luc, hey. Wake up little lady."

Lucy groaned and rubbed her smudge face on Juvia's legs before her eyes lazily opened, "Natsu…? Hey, hi."

"Hey, I'm gonna head home, alright?"

"Home? Oh, yeah… Yeah sure. See you later."

Lucy was too out of it to care about what Natsu was talking about. She just wanted to pass out on Juvia's lap again.

"Take care, okay?" Natsu pushed back her tattered bangs, "You had a great party."

Lucy smiled, tired, "Thanks, Natsu. Get home safe."

"Always do."

Natsu stood up and Lucy proceeded to fall asleep. Juvia looked up at Natsu.

"How are you going to get home?" Juvia asked.

Natsu picked up his cardigan and started to put it on as he walked back to Juvia, "Oldest form of transportation." He straightened out his scaled scarf.

"Horseback?"

"Walking."

"At this hour? Why don't you just spend the night?"

"My brother told me I can't stay the night at girl's house without a parent around," Natsu joked, "If I wake up the next morning Luc is going to ask me to help clean. I'm not about that."

"You could call your brother to pick you up."

"He'd have my ass if I did that. Don't you know what time it is, do I look sober enough to talk to my brother?"

"Just a suggestion. Are you going to be okay on your own? You still… You know?"

"Pretty fucked up? Of course, but I've walked home worse. I'll be fine."

Juvia shrugged, "I can't stop you. Just stay safe and don't be stupid."

"Yeah yeah I know." Natsu sighed.

He'd heard this before. He even made rules for getting home. No hitchhiking, no driving under the influence, and no leaving a party with strangers. Lowest form of people to take rides from is friends-of-friends; that's where it stops. He did that so he didn't have to reject one night stands.

Natsu waved to Juvia, said goodbye to those who were still there and left.

* * *

It's cold at three in the morning. It gets colder at four. And at four- thirty, it's chilling to the bone. Natsu held his cardigan close against his arms to try and keep the air out and his body heat in and tightened his scarf. Maybe he should have stayed the night. Lucy lived in a small community, closer to the country than the city. The houses were big and a decent amount of space between them. That's why Lucy could play the music loud and not have the cops called because of the noise. But now, Natsu felt like he was lost. And coming down from a buz, a high, and God knows what else wasn't helping either.

Only a few cars had passed by, but no one minded Natsu. Until the last car. Natsu felt the warmth of headlights on his back, paying no mind to it. The vehicle was an old blue truck with its current paint chipping off, Natsu only noticed the car slowed down.

 _Great, I'm going to get kidnapped and murdered now. Why can't I just get home tonight?_

The car window started to roll down and Natsu looked over with a slight laugh.

"Well I'll be damned," Gray said, "I thought I knew that pink hair and stupid scarf."

Natsu glared at the comment, and kept walking, "How odd, you know I didn't think you'd have such a shit truck. My fantasy car for you has been destroyed."

"Aw, you've been having fantasies about me already?" Gray smirked, "What are you doing out here at this time?"

"I'm a farmer on my way to the field. I have to shuck corn," Natsu said, "I'm coming back from a party. What about you? What are you doing?"

"Well, somebody has to milk the cows while others shuck corn. I'm coming back from a gig. Takes a couple hours to get there and back."

"A gig?"

Gray nodded, "Yep. I play bass."

Natsu started to snicker, "Oh my god, you're like a walking cliché."

"Hey, what do you mean by that?"

"Oh come on," Natsu stopped walking. Gray stopped the car, "You're a hot college student working at a coffee shop in some garage band as a bassist. How original."

Gray rolled his eyes, "Great to know you think I'm hot."

"Don't mention it."

"The rest of what you said is pretty dickish. And to think, I was going to give you a ride."

"You wanted to give me a ride?"

"I did, but now I know you're an asshole."

"Hey no, if you gave me a ride that would be awesome," Natsu walked to the window, "I could really use one."

"Too bad. Should have thought about that before you called me a cliché."

"Gray, please, this would actually help me out so much."

Gray hummed and looked at Natsu, "If you apologize for calling me cliché and I might reconsider. _Might._ "

Natsu sighed, "Sorry. Can I get in now?"

"Can't you sound like you did before when you were begging to get into my shitty truck?" Gray grinned, "It's unlock."

Natsu ran in front of the car and opened the passenger side. He moved the bass guitar's case to the back gently. He felt the AC way up and it ran a chill over Natsu's arms.

"Thank fucking god for Gray the ice coffee guy," he hopped in the seat and buckled his seatbelt, "And thank you."

"Fullbuster," Gray said as he shifted the car out of park, "My last name is Fullbuster, not 'ice coffee guy', hot- head."

"What did you call me?"

"Hot- head," Gray repeated, "If you have a problem with it maybe you could keep walking."

Natsu growled, "You win this time."

Natsu didn't notice before, but Gray had a small scar on his eyebrow, distracted by an eyebrow piercing. His attire (of course) was different than from work. He wore a beanie, jeans ripped to hell and his black shirt was tight against his chest with a red flannel wrapped around his waist. And damn did he look good. If Natsu wasn't so tired, he'd probably try to make a move. He wouldn't mind to have sex to wake him up. Or his bed to crash on.

Gray chuckled, "Where am I taking you?"

Natsu snapped out of it and turned his head straight ahead, "Know where _Guild Apartments_ are? I'm not really feeling like giving directions."

"Lucky you, I do know where they are. I used to rent an apartment there. But you know, you were going the wrong to get there."

"I was? Fuck," Natsu whined, leaning his head on the window, "And I was walking for like an hour."

"Ouch, doesn't that blow."

"Yeah, sure fucking does," Natsu rubbed his face, "I wish I would have noticed."

Natsu looked out the window. The sun was slowly starting to come up, the heat hurt his head and the barely born sunlight hurt his eyes. He just wanted to take off his shoes, pass out on the bed, and cuddle with Happy until four in the afternoon. Gray kept stealing glances from the road to Natsu every few moments.

"You came from a party, right? Did you drink?"

"Duh, of course I did. It's a party."

"Take anything?"

Natsu shrugged, "Somebody brought a bong and I took a few hits from that," he mumbled, "I took some shots after we raided the liquor cabinet. After that it's sorta a blur," He rubbed his face, his stomach started to get upset, "Could you turn on the radio?"

"Yeah, sure," Gray turned up the volume, "You doing alright there?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine. If you vomit in my truck I swear to Christ you will die."

"Don't raise your voice, you'll kill my miserable buzz. This is a normal thing for me. I get motion sickness easily. Music helps sometimes, but what the hell is playing? It sounds like they're singing into a telephone."

"Oh, I was listening to _The Beatles_ before I saw you."

"Do you have any more tapes? That are, you know, from this decade?"

"Check the glove department," Gray leaned over Natsu's lap popped open the glove department. The forceful sound making Natsu wince, "Sorry, sticks sometimes."

There was a handful of tapes, labeled cheaply with masking tape written in black and red marker. Obviously mixtapes and not bought.

" _Eagles… Beatles… Beach Boys..."_ Natsu rattled off, "The only thing you have from this age is _Radiohead._ "

Gray shrugged, "Take it or leave it."

Natsu breathed out deeply and slinked back in his seat. He wrapped his cardigan around his shoulders from being cold, Natsu pinched the brim of his nose.

"How long until we get there?" Natsu asked.

"Well, since you went the wrong way, I have to take a back road so I don't have to turn back. Maybe thirty, forty minutes top."

Natsu whined loudly, "Fuck. That's so long. I just want to get home."

"This is why little boys like you don't need to go out and party for so late and get fucked up."

"Oh shut up," Natsu tiredly snapped, "And I'm seventeen. No way in _hell_ you can call me a little boy. You're what? A year older than me?"

"Two, actually."

"My mistake."

Gray hit a bump and it almost caused Natsu to throw up from his already sensitive stomach along with the car ride. Making a slight lurching noise. Gray cringed and looked over at Natsu.

"My place is closer than yours," Gray informed quickly, "You could stay the night with me."

"No thanks. If you want me out of your truck faster drive quicker."

"If I do that you'll probably puke then pass out. My place is only fifteen minutes away if I turn on the next street."

"Fifteen minutes?"

In fifteen minutes, he could be in a warm bed. A fluffy, blanketed bed with a soft pillow. As long as Natsu called Zeref in the morning he'd be fine. The road became rocky again and Natsu clenched his stomach.

"Okay, you don't have a choice now," Gray decided, "You're staying with me."

"You're literally kidnapping me, I knew I'd get kidnapped being in a car like this. I didn't think it would be yours though," Natsu mumbled, "I don't think I should be going home with a guy I only met once."

"You've met me a few times now. And I'm not kidnapping you, I'm saving your life."

"How the hell are you saving my life?"

"I told you if you get sick, I swear I'm killing you, and I don't want to kill you."

"How sweet of you," Natsu said, "It's probably for my own good. Thank you."

Gray took the turn, "Don't mention it."

* * *

Natsu thought that Gray would be trying to sneak him into a small, cramp dorm room. He tried to sleep in the truck to ease his way into sobriety. For once, he did actually fall asleep. He felt like he was asleep longer than fifteen minutes.

He started to open his eyes slowly, rubbing his face against something soft. His arms were wrapped around something and tightened them. Natsu lifted up his head, he was moving.

"Gray?" Natsu said, groggy.

"Hey," Gray replied, "Finally, the beast has awoken."

"Where are we?"

"My apartment complex," Gray re-lifted Natsu on his back, he started to slip, "You crashed in my truck. And we have to go upstairs so I didn't bother with waking you up since you'd be a mess probably."

"Would not," Natsu nuzzled in the back of Gray's neck, "This is nice of you thought. And what is that smell? It's like spearmint gum."

"Hey! It's supposed to be a pine forest. Not spearmint gum!"

"What did I say about yelling?" Natsu asked, pinching Gray's cheek.

Gray winced and pulled his head away, "I will drop you."

Natsu tightened his legs around Gray's waist. Gray got to the top of the stairs and down the hall. Walking to the middle of a row of doors. He dropped Natsu's legs and Natsu unraveled his arms. Natsu leaned against the wall as Gray got out his keys.

"Hey, shouldn't you have gotten your bass instead of me? It's still in the truck, yeah?"

"You seemed a little more important to get instead of my bass," Gray turned the key and unlocked the door, "It's a safe place, no one is going to key my car to get my bass."

"Wow, I'm more important than your bass? Are you sure you're a musician?"

"I said a little more important," Gray opened the door and motioned Natsu to come in, "Don't make too much noise. Lyon is asleep."

"Lyon? That your boyfriend or something?" Natsu teased as he walked in.

"No, my sorta brother," Gray followed him in and closed the door. He started to take off his shoes, Natsu doing the same, "He's my roommate. My room is the second door on the right."

"Wait, where are you going to sleep?" Natsu quietly asked.

"I've got a couch."

"I can't kick you out of your bed. I'll take your couch."

"You apparently don't know how uncomfortable that couch is."

"See? How am I supposed to take your bed after you gave me a ride and have you sleep on a shitty couch?"

Gray shrugged, "Pass out and drool on my pillow."

"No way," Natsu grabbed Gray's arm and walked down the hall, "Sleep with me."

"Woah! Hey! Take me out to dinner first," Gray pulled his arm back, "Natsu, it's really fine. I don't mind."

"Yeah, well I do. I don't care about sleeping in the same bed as you."

"Yeah, well I do." Gray mocked.

"Will you two please, shut up," Lyon opened his door and scratched his stomach, "Gray, get in bed with that boy so he'll be quiet, please. I have to get up and study in the morning so i'd like to get my eight hours."

"Lyon, oh, I-I didn't mean to wake you. And this isn't what you-"

"Listen, I don't really care right now. Talk to me later about this. Nice to meet you, Gray's _friend_. Go to bed or use protection. Have a nice stay, night."

Lyon slinked back into his room and closed the door. Natsu's eyes widened and turned to Gray whose face was flushed.

"So, do you usually bring home people?" Natsu asked.

"No! No, not at all," Gray softly said, somewhat frantic, "He's just joking," He nervously chuckled, "Ugh, never mind, just come on. Let's go to my room."

It wasn't hard to see that Gray had done this before in bringing boys home. Giggling softly maybe as he snuck them into his room. Only this time, Gray seemed embarrassed about it. Gray took Natsu's hand and quickly walked to his room and opened the door. He flicked on the light and started to unknot the flannel arms around his hips. Natsu tossed off his cardigan, looking around the room. A few posters hung. A _Beatles_ from the _Help!_ album a _Creedence Clearwater Revival,_ and _Elton John Goodbye Yellow Brick Road_ poster.

"Elton John? Who the hell is that?" Natsu asked.

"Only a genius. He's great at making love songs, I love him."

Natsu groaned, "What kind of band are you even in?"

"Alternative."

"How are _you_ in an alternative band listening to music like this?"

"Hey, Kurt Cobain got a lot of inspiration from _The Beatles_ and you probably jerk it to _Nirvana_."

"My masturbation habits is none of your business," Natsu took off his shirt, covering his chest with the cloth, "But you're not really into the music your band makes though."

"Yeah, but I like being in a band with my friends. It's fun."

"You guys any good?"

"You can be the judge of that. Maybe whenever we play again you can come on see us play," Gray took off his shirt, "I'll get you into a club."

"Sounds like fun," Natsu looked at Gray's chest and gasped, "No way, holy shit! You have a tattoo?! "

"Shh, keep your voice down. If you say that Lyon will know you've seen me with my shirt off," Gray said, "Yeah I have a tattoo, you're acting like it's the first one you've ever seen."

Natsu grinned widely and pressed his hand on Gray's chest. Gray awkwardly pressed out his chest. It was dark blue ink, contrasting Gray's pale skin. The design looked tribal or something.

"I've always wanted a tattoo," Natsu grazed his hand on Gray's chest, not really caring about his touching, "Did it hurt?"

"Well, yeah. A needle is going in my skin repeatedly, it's gonna hurt a little."

Natsu softly hummed and pulled his hand away, looking up at Gray. He seemed uncomfortable from Natsu touching him. His face looked slightly flushed. Maybe he was still buzzed. Maybe he was sleep deprived. Maybe he just wanted a reason to touch Gray.

"What does it mean?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Oh god, don't tell me it's from some stupid thing that means happiness or something from a tattoo wall. Please don't tell me it's meaningless scribbles."

"No it's not meaningless scribbles, idiot," Gray said, rolling his eyes, "It means something to me but it doesn't matter to you."

"Come on, you can tell me. Please?"

Gray sighed and lowered his head, "It was to show my life starting again. I got it after Lyon and I grew out of the system."

"System?"

"The foster system. It shows that I'll keep going."

"You were a foster kid?"

"Yeah. I had a foster mother. That's where I met Lyon. She died though, so back into the system we went until we grew out of it."

"Oh, sorry to hear that," Natsu breathed, "It's really cool looking."

"Thanks."

Gray looked uneasy from this. Natsu decided not to pry anymore. They stood in awkward silence for a moment. Gray walked passed him and went to his closet.

"I'll have to add it to the drawing."

"Drawing?" Gray questioned, "What drawing?"

"I drew a picture of you later that night we met."

"Did you draw me shirtless?" Gray smiled. Scraping across hangers, looking for a shirt. "Need a shirt?"

"Yeah, I'll need one," Natsu undid his scarf and started to drop his shirt to the ground, "It's freezing in your house."

"It's the warmest month of the year. Everyone keeps it cool."

Gray turned back with a shirt in his hand. Gray's eyes widened, Natsu looked confused and tilted his head.

"What? Never see someone look this good shirtless before?"

"No, no I have," Gray started to laugh, "Just not somebody with a nipple piercing."

"Nice, huh? Makes your eyes automatically go to my chest," Natsu smirked, "Lots of people love it."

"Can I touch it?"

"No, why? That's fucking weird," Natsu covered his chest, "You're making me feel self-conscious about it no."

"You got to touch my chest," Gray lingered towards Natsu and tilted Natsu's chin up with his finger, "So why can't I touch yours?"

Natsu blushed lightly, gazing up at Gray's eyes. They looked devilishly cold, freezing and sly almost. Natsu rolled his tongue and narrowed his eyes. Pulling back, thinking Gray was joking.

"I don't let anyone just touch the piercing."

"Then how do I become a somebody?"

Natsu swallowed, "It doesn't take much. I usually need someone to get me a drink but not always, try and flirt with me. Try to get me to their place somehow. Be attractive. Have some kind of personality. Stuff like that."

"That all I have to do to touch this?" Gray asked, pointing to the piercing, "Alright. I'll accept those standards." Gray put the shirt to Natsu's chest and started to walk to the bed.

"Excuse me?"

"I said I'll accept your standards. Isn't that a good thing?" Gray undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants, "Did you not hear me the first time?"

"No, I heard you. But what would make you think I'd want you to meet those standards?" Natsu asked, putting on the thin tee shirt with a black handprint.

"Because you told me about them. That must mean that I have a chance with touching it, yeah? Or is someone already allowed to touch it?"

"Are you asking if I'm in a relationship?"

"Did I ask that? No, I asked if someone else is already allowed to."

"Well, no. Not really."

"So I do have a chance," Gray stepped out of his pants, turning on a lamp and turning off the light. He rolled the sheets off the bed, "Do you like to sleep on the right side or the left side of the bed?"

"Whoa, slow down stripper," Natsu said, taking off his pants and raising an eyebrow, "Do you like me?"

"What could ever make you think I like you? All I want to do is touch that little cute piercing of yours. For now, anyway."

As Gray climbed into bed, Natsu tried to understand what the fuck was going on. Did he just get hit on? Gray had to be hinting blatantly that he wanted something to do with Natsu, other than talking to him at the coffee shop or giving him rides.

"Hey, are you going to stand there or finally get some sleep?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry, you sound like you're excited to get me into bed."

Natsu crawled into the bed, having his back face away from Gray. Raising up the sheets over his body. Gray turned off the lamp light. Natsu felt Gray's arm wrap around his waist.

"Why wouldn't I?" Gray murmured, nuzzling in the back of Natsu's neck, "I have a hot-head like you to keep me warm while I sleep."

"Did I ask for you to spoon me?"

"You didn't have to. Now get some sleep already."

Natsu gently sighed, "I'll let you do it for tonight."

"Will there be another time?"

"Will you pick me up again from walking home from a party?"

"As long as I have something like this, I think I will."

"Are you trying to make a move on me? Because I don't think I'll be any good in bed tonight and I don't know if you've got condoms on yo-"

"No , I just want to cuddle, dummy. Is that so hard to ask?"

Natsu closed his eyes, "You do like me, don't you?"

"No, I despise you. I hate talking to you at the coffee shop and I wish I would have never picked you up and taken you home," Gray whispered in Natsu's ear, "I hate you in my bed beside me. And I hate you in my arms."

Natsu breathed out a laugh, "And how long have you liked me?"

"That's a secret for another day."

Natsu smiled and turned his head into the pillow. It smelt like Gray's hair. Gray pulled Natsu closer against him.

"You know, maybe I'll give you that chance."

"You already let me have that chance, didn't you?"

"No, I didn't officially give it to you," Natsu informed, "Now I might as well take it back."

"Let's talk about this later," Gray said, "Night, Natsu."

"G'night, Gray."

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, favorite and follow if you did. See you next update._


	3. Glow in the Dark Stars

**Hey guys! New chapter! Woohoo! So I really like this chapter, I don't know why I liked writing it alot maybe it was because I like how Gray and Natsu are coming along. I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

Natsu woke up, feeling Gray's arms wrapped around his waist still from the night before. Gray's hands felt cold on his stomach. Everything felt cold with Gray. Natsu's throat was dry and his head pounded. He stayed up for about five minutes before he heard the groggy groans from Gray. Natsu shut his eyes tightly and stayed quiet. It was like when a child pretended they were asleep so they could be gently carried to bed, only he wanted Gray to keep his arms around him. It was a nice feeling Natsu hadn't had from a guy from a long 's arms tightened up as he took a last whiff of Natsu's hair.

Gray started to unravel around Natsu, trying (to what Gray thought) not to wake Natsu. Gray scratched his head and popped his back. Natsu cringed from the noise, he opened up his eyes again and kept his eyes forward. Gray ran his hand softly on Natsu's arm before standing up. He tipped toed out of the room, trying to conceal his yawns as best as he could and lightly shut the door.

Natsu immediately whined and put the covers over his head, turning on his other side.

 _Stupid Gray. Being the big fucking spoon. Maybe I wanted to be the big spoon…_

Natsu squeezed his hand around the covers.

 _Why the fuck am I getting mad over who's the big spoon?_

Natsu sighed and rubbed his head, laying on his back. Gray had glow in the dark stars like a five year old had. When Natsu's dad was still around, he'd always bring home glow in the dark stars because Natsu was afraid of the dark. He'd be happy knowing stars kept his room lit, even if they only lasted for a few weeks. Gray probably just had them up for decoration now. After a few minutes of analyzing each of Gray's posters five times, he finally decided to get up.

He stretched his arms above his head and softly whined. He scratched his stomach and played with the hoops in his cartilage, making sure they still moved. Natsu hummed from the smell from the kitchen. It smelt like fat grease cracking in a pan, he leaned in the doorway.

"Hey, mornin'." Natsu said, rubbing his eye.

"Oh, hey. Good morning. Sleep well?"

"As well as I could," Natsu yawned, "What's cookin good lookin?"

Gray slightly smiled, "A cure for a hangover you most likely have," Gray begun, "A big greasy breakfast."

"No way, fuck yes," Natsu started to move into the kitchen, "I could fall for you." He put his hand on Gray's shoulder and looked in the pan, "What are you gonna make me?"

"Sausage, bacon, and pancakes."

"What, no eggs?"

Gray lightly laughed, "Eggs are good for you. Lots of protein and other good shit. After your night out, you don't need nutrients. You need good old tasty fatty food."

Natsu sat down on one of the kitchen chairs. Sprawling out his legs and put an arm over the back of the chair. He rubbed his stomach again. Brushing his finger tips over his shaven trail.

"Where's your brother at?"

"Breakfast study group," Gray sighed, "He likes eating premade breakfast sandwiches with his nose in a book along with other people who likes premade breakfast sandwiches with their noses in books."

"Wow, your cooking that bad?"

"Ha. Ha. No, it's not. Lyon just studies a lot. He wants to be the best at what he does so he studies a lot. Surpass others you know?"

Natsu shrugged, "Dude needs to take a chill pill."

"You're telling me,"

"I've got some Xanax he can borrow."

The kitchen was silent for a moment. Gray didn't think it was much of a joke, so he ignored saying anything. Gray slid some pieces of bacon on a plate with sausage, "Coffee is already made if you want any."

"Get me a cup would ya?"

"Little busy at the moment. Mugs are in the cabinet."

"Graaaaay," Natsu whined, "Be a good host and make me a cup of coffee."

"Did you ever learn the magic word?"

"The what?"

"The magic word," Gray said, leaning back on the counter as he stirred pancake batter, "The magic word that makes anyone do anything."

"What might that be?"

"The word ' _please_ '. "

Natsu rolled his eyes, "Please, Gray?"

"Nope," Gray turned his back from Natsu and poured the batter in the pan, "Get it yourself lazy ass."

"Hey! You just fucking said 'please' makes a person do anything!"

"Hm, maybe your magic is weak."

Natsu growled and stood up. Moving to the cabinet, "Asshole." Natsu murmured, going towards the cabinet to get a cup and pouring coffee in it.

Gray smirked, "How's your head?"

"Hurts like a bitch but it's nothing I can't handle. I've had them before," Natsu sipped his coffee, "Got any aspirin? I don't think breakfast can cure my headache."

"Yeah, in the bathroom. I'll get you it after we eat, here," Gray flipped a pancake and held out a piece of bacon, "Have something while you wait for pancakes."

Natsu leaned over and bit the end, pulling the strip out of his hand as he chewed. He at quickly and swallowed.

"You know, that's not that bad," Natsu said and stole another piece, "Oh, hey before I forget can I use your phone?"

"Yeah, it's in the living room. On the end table."

"Thanks, call me when pancakes are done?"

"Gotcha."

Natsu swallowed his bacon and sipped his coffee as he exited the kitchen to the living room. Natsu spotted the phone, it was wireless and he started to dial the number. He propped the phone on his shoulder. The buzzed ringing was heard on his end. After a few rings, the other end finally picked up.

"Hello?"

"Zeref, hey, it's Natsu."

"Natsu, finally, I thought you would never call me."

"What? It's still the morning."

"It's almost noon dummy."

"Hey, don't call me that," Natsu snapped, "Anyway, I stayed the night at my friend Gray's place after the party."

"Gray?" Zeref asked, "Who's that?"

"Oh, he's a um very recent friend. You don't know him yet."

"Is this a real friend or someone I should be worried about?"

"You worry about me?"

Natsu started to fool around with the few items on the end table. He glanced in a silver picture frame with nothing inside. He raised an eyebrow at this and put it right back down. There was a empty ash tray and a half full pack of _American Spirits_ cigarettes next to a lighter. Natsu snagged a cigarette and started to play with the lighter.

"Of course I do. He didn't give you anything or… you know?"

"Sweet Jesus-he's a real friend," Natsu sighed, "He gave me a ride from the party and let me stay over since it was late. He even made me breakfast too."

" He must be a new friend if he didn't know about your eating habits. Did his parents not care?"

"He lives alone with his brother. He's in college."

" _College_."

"Yep yep."

"Well...okay," Zeref still sounded reluctant about Gray, "Call me earlier next time though, alright? When are you coming home?"

"Uh, give me a few hours."

"Alright, that sounds fine. You should have called me when you got there."

"Yes, I get that already Zeref." Natsu started to get ticked off from Zeref basically repeating himself over again and again.

"Natsu!" Gray called, "Pancakes are done!"

"I gotta go, Zeref. I have pancakes to eat."

"Use your table manners. I'll see you later."

"Later."

Natsu hung up the phone and went back to the kitchen quickly. Gray had already set the table. Each plate had two pancakes, two pieces or bacon, and two pieces of sausage. Gray had already started to pour maple syrup from a stocky glass bottle on his pancakes and Natsu pulled up a chair.

"Wow, real maple," Natsu said, "You really go all out for breakfast."

"You can't have pancakes without real maple."

"But I like artificial syrup in the morning."

"Yuck, that shit isn't good for you. All it even is sugar. And nothing beats the real stuff."

"What are you?" Natsu asked, taking the syrup bottle from Gray, "A hoser or whatever Canadians are called. They get really testy over maple syrup and shit like that."

Gray chuckled and took a bite of his pancakes, "That's very stereotypical of you. You're close, though. I used to live in New York before I came here. My family used to go to Canada all the time since it wasn't far."

"Shit, what the hell are you doing in Ohio?"

Gray smiled, "Hockey scholarship."

"Wait, we have a hockey team?"

"Sure do. They flew Lyon and me down here for our amazing hockey skills. Since I guess people suck here. Hockey session starts in October. Wanna see me play one day?"

"What the hell is with you and ice? You're like some ice freak."

"Oh, you're over exaggerating," Gray shrugged, "So did your brother care about you staying the night?"

"Nah, he's pretty cool with stuff like that. Just a little worried since he didn't know you."

"What about your parents? They must be pissed."

Natsu swallowed a big piece of pancake, "It's just my brother. I don't know my mom and my dad left a long time ago."

"O-oh sorry, man."

The two of them lowered their heads and looked at their plates. Silently chewing their pancakes. Gray must have understood how Natsu felt. It seemed to be only Lyon and Gray and it looked like they had been that way for a while maybe. He was sympathetic that's why he eat with his mouth closed. But Natsu could never stand such silence. He took a bite of his sausage link.

"So, I saw you still have glow in the dark stars on your ceiling," Natsu started, "What's up with that?"

"Oh, yeah, I didn't think anyone really noticed them anymore." Gray scratched the back of his head and softly laughed, "They've been in there before I even moved in. I think a family with a kid used to live here."

"And you just kept glow in the dark stars on your ceiling. Because you'll totally get laid with glow in the dark stars on your ceiling."

"Hey, they don't glow anymore. They haven't in forever," Gray pointed out, "And I like having them up. I always wanted glow in the dark stars when I was younger. I always had to share a room and none of my mates would let me put any up."

"Assholes."

"Damn right. Kids are always asshole, usually to kids who are younger than them and that was me. And then when I moved in, and I saw the stars on the ceiling, I saw it as like a sign or something from the universe."

"A sign?"

"Yeah, like a 'This is the best place for you, it has things you never had, being here will keep giving you things you haven't had,'" Gray pushed his food, "Or maybe it was just a 'Hey Gray, you got screwed over not being able to go to sleep when you were eight because the dark scared you shit-less, here's some stars dude'"

Natsu snickered, " I don't know about the whole universe thing, but I like the second part. The first part was kinda deep though."

Gray rolled his eyes, "Thanks." Gray licked his lips, "So is it true about what you said earlier?

"Which part?"

"About the pills part."

Natsu nodded as he chewed, "Yep. Every few times a day."

"It's prescription yeah?"

"No, I love taking crazy pills all the time to keep me emotionally stable through out the day."

It was obvious Natsu wasn't comfortable talking about this. Natsu was hoping he would be fine without his medicine, he didn't want to be a mood swinging mess around Gray. How would he redeem himself from a scene like that. Gray didn't understand that stuff much but he tried changing the subject anyway.

"All done? You ate pretty fast."

"Huh?" Natsu looked down at is plate, all that was left was sticky syrup and a few wet crumbs. He didn't know he ate so fast, "Yeah, I guess so. It wasn't half bad."

Gray took his and Natsu's plate. He placed Natsu's plate in the sink and scrapped the rest off of his plate in the trash. He started to run hot water and dampen a rag.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" Gray asked.

"No, I'll just take the bus. You could drive me to the bus stop if you want."

"Oh and you do know I'd love to drive you to the stop."

Natsu took a sip of coffee and groaned on the rim, "Don't sound like that."

"Like what?"

"Like a prick."

"Don't call me a prick asshole," Gray snapped, turning his head back, "I'm offering a ride to the bus stop. You should be nice to me."

"I didn't ask you to, but you sound like a dick when you say stuff like 'Oh Natsu, I'd loooooove to drive you anywhere your heart desires.'"

"That is not at all what I said nor sounded like."

"Well it sounds like it to me," Natsu drank the rest his coffee, "Anyway, I should probably get ready."

"Yeah okay. When do you have to get home?"

"A couple hours."

"We could hang out and get lunch or something."

"Sorry, I don't have any money on me. Maybe another time."

Gray shrugged and leaned on the counter, "Yeah, sure that sound cool. When's the next time you're going to the coffee shop?"

"Sometime during the week," Natsu replied, "You gonna miss me?" He smirked.

"Yes Natsu I'll totally miss your ass yelling to me about your coffee being cold."

"That was a onetime thing. Just don't fuck up my coffee orders anymore."

Gray softly chuckled and put the dishes in the drying rack, "Do you need to use my shower or anything?"

"Nah, I'll take one when I get home. Where do you want me to toss your shirt?"

"You can keep it," Gray said, "I never wear it anymore anyway. You can borrow some pants and shit if you want."

"Oh, thanks man. That's really nice of you."

"I'm a nice guy sometimes."

Natsu swallowed, "I'll just go ahead and change then."

"I'll probably walk in after I have a smoke outside."

"Why not in the house?"

"Lyon hates the smell. I could use the fresh air anyway."

As Natsu borrowed some clothes and Gray had a smoke, Natsu was thinking about what he had said before. He realized then; he was being a douche. A huge big, mega giant douche. He just wasn't used to treatment like that. Cuddling in the morning? Not used to it. Having a huge breakfast made just for him? Not used to it. Getting offered a ride home? Nope, not used to that either. Defiantly not. This was like no one-night stand Natsu had ever had.

Gray didn't even try to make a _real_ move. Only sweet gestures, kind movements. No sloppy make out sessions, no quick hand jobs, and- most importantly- no awkward mornings. It was completely different, it was weird though, and it was almost like a sleep over for curious boys in middle school. Natsu finished buttoning some acid washed jeans and straightened out the hand print tee shirt. He grabbed his old clothes and rewrapped his scarf.

Once Natsu walked into the living room, he saw Gray walk in and keep his hand on the knob. Grabbing keys from an end table bowl.

"Ready?" Gray asked

"Yeah, I'm good," Natsu replied, putting on his shoes, "You have a lighter on you yeah?"

"Duh, I just smoked."

"Toss it."

As Gray dug out his lighter, Natsu fished out the cigarette he took earlier.

"What the hell do you need it for?"

Gray through the lighter and Natsu caught it, "I'm hoping to burn down you truck while you're driving," Natsu put the cigarette behind his ear and opened the door, "Now come on."

"Hey, you shouldn't smoke this young, it's not good for you."

"It's not good for you when you're older either," Natsu started to walked down the stairs while Gray followed, "Maybe you should set an example for me and quit."

"No thanks, I'm not the best example to follow."

Natsu turned around at the bottom of the steps. Gray almost bumped into Natsu's chest, instead he became face level with him.

"I think that's why I like you," Natsu whispered, leaning closer towards Gray, "Because you're a bad example," Gray's lips slightly parted, Natsu smirked and put the cigarette in his mouth, "A bad example with stupid glow in the dark stars."

Gray sighed and rolled his eyes, Natsu snicker and started to light his cigarette.

"You're such an ass."

"I learned it from watching you."

* * *

The car ride was filled with the warm air August brought. They had the windows rolled, letting the air fluff their clothes. Natsu kept his hand out of the window letting the wind weave through his fingers. Gray sung along to _Twist and Shout_ while Natsu tried to get into the lyrics but mostly mumbled over them. Natsu noticed Gray didn't stop smiling as he sang, or as he watched the road for other cars. Sometimes, he liked to drift onto the other side of the road, not far into the road but just enough to feel risky. His mind must have been somewhere else. Natsu absolutely loved it. Natsu finished a few more bummed cigarettes with Gray. He learned all about how hockey works- very disinterested in it- and Natsu told Gray about coloring right and shading correctly- Gray could care less. As they rolled up to the stop, Natsu opened the door and walked over to Gray's window.

"Thanks for the ride." Natsu said, before turning to the stop.

"Hey wait," Gray grabbed the back of Natsu shirt, spinning him around, "When's the next time I get to see you?"

"Next time I want a coffee."

"You know what I mean," Gray tilted his head, "I want to see you in my house when you're not coming off from being under the influence. I still want to play with that piercing sometime."

Natsu shrugged, " How sweet, we'll make plans one day then."

"Well how are we gonna make plans if you don't have my number?"

"Hopefully I'll see you at five in the morning or the coffee shop, dummy."

"How about I just give you my phone number," Gray rustled in his glove compartment and got out a pen, jerking Natsu's hand and writing his number, "Don't be shy to call me either."  
Natsu's palm tingled and jerked his hand slightly a few times, "Can you not write on my skin?"

"Why not?" Gray finished writing and ran his thumb over the number, "Don't you know it's the best thing to leave a mark on?"

Gray did a small half smile, Natsu blushed and pulled back, "Not for you. Not yet anyway." Natsu turned back to the bus stop.

"Whoa, whoa now," Gray said, "I don't get your number?"

"Nope. Seems like you'll have to wait till I call you."

"Well how long will that be?"

"Till I need another ride."

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, favorite and follow if you did. It helps me out alot. See you next update._


	4. Large Cheese Pizzas

**Hey guys! New chapter! I really love all the pointers and reviews you guys have been giving me. I really appreciate it! I'm trying to catch all my spelling and grammar mistakes as best as I can, I swear. I love seeing your guys reviews its my favorite thing and it makes me super dooper happy so keep it up guys! I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

Gray slapped a flyer down on the table. Smiling widely, excited without any words. Natsu looked up at him after sipping his coffee, unamused and not as enthralled as Gray. This was the first time Gray came up to him today at the shop. There was a coffee rush of collage girls and boyfriends who needed the caffeine for late-night studying so he was busy juggling whip cream cans and ice coffees. Natsu didn't mind, he had homework to do and a _Pixies_ tape to listen to anyway.

It had been about two weeks since Lucy's party. It would probably be her last, not because her parents found out. Because she had to clean up so much vomit, cigarette butts and beer from the carpet, she thought she'd become sick if she ever saw a beer can for a week. She got lucky when nobody brought anything worse than that from the party. Natsu did like the party, mostly because of the ride home.

Of course, Natsu kept going to the coffee shop like normal. But now including colored pencils and plain paper in his knapsack because he knew he would be staying longer at the shop. Today he drew Juvia looking down in a puddle and making the murky water come up so it looked like it was raining upwards. It was hard to color her hair that strange shade of blue, almost reminding Natsu of sky hours before a storm. But you can see the darkening of the sky, but not the clouds.

He still hadn't gone back to Gray's house.

Natsu lowered his headphones to his neck, "What is this?" Natsu asked, sliding the paper out from under Gray's hand.

"An invite to a party," Gray put his hands on the table and leaned on his palms, "Well, it's my invite but I can bring as many guests as I want."

"What are you five? You still get party invites?" Natsu looked over the paper. It was about flyer sized and in fat red, sharpie writing just said " _Come and Fucking Party. Bring Booze and Cool Dudes."_ It looked like something that someone had quickly written down and never thought of it, "When and where is this?"

"The twenty-eighth of August. I think it's a Friday and it's at one of the frats at my school."

"I don't think I'll have money for booze then. Sorry."

"Don't worry, I'll provide our entry fee," Gray sat at the other end of the table,"Come to a party with me. I keep hearing stories you tell me about when you go to parties, but I've never seen you in action."

Natsu rolled his sleeves back up on his jacket and started to fill out Juvia's breasts, "I won't stay by your side that night you know?" Natsu said, glancing up at Gray, "I'll probably try to score something and get unbelievably drunk."

"I wouldn't expect anything less." Gray smiled.

Natsu sighed. "That stupid shit-eating grin always gets me," Natsu carded his fingers through his bangs, "What music is going to be playing?"

"Beats me."

"Shit," Natsu groaned and leaned back in the booth.

"What's wrong with not know what's gonna play?"

"Well if it's not loud music; I'm pissed. If it's not loud and not good music; I bail."

"Okay look," Gray crossed his arms on the table, "If you aren't happy at the party, I'll give you a drive home and will never invite you to a party that I don't know what music is playing at. Deal?"

Gray reached across the table with his hand out. Natsu chewed his cheek. Was he really playing hard to get now? After other guys who had tried way less than Gray. Those guys never invited him to parties after a stand. Well, really they never had a stand, they only established that Gray had a _thing_ for him and that Natsu might let him have a chance with him. Maybe this was Gray's way of making a move.

"This isn't your idea of a date is it?" Natsu asked.

"Yeah, a frat party sounds really romantic doesn't it," Gray rolled his eyes, "Of course it's not a date. I just thought this would be a good way to hang out since _somebody_ hasn't called me yet to plan for us to hang out."

"I've been busy."

"You're a shitty liar."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am _not_."

"Are _too_."

"Okay, alright. So maybe I forgot to write down your number before I washed it off and I've been embarrassed to ask for it again."

"Wait, you what?!" Gray said, raising his voice, "You freaking idiot, how could you forget to write it down?"

"Hey, I told you to write it on a piece of paper but you were like 'oh no, skin is the best thing to write on' spiel."

"I wouldn't have cared if you asked for my number again, hot head."

"You know this isn't the best way to persuade me to go to a party with you." Natsu grumbled and folded his arms.

Gray pinched the brim of his nose and sighed, "Sorry about that. Will you please come to the party with me?"

"I'll think about it."

"Oh come on!"

"I said I'll think about it" Natsu repeated in a stern tone, "But here" Natsu teared off a corner on a piece of paper and started to scratch out a number, "You can have my telephone number. So _you_ can call me first."

Natsu handed Gray the little slip and looked back down at his paper, "You need to get back to work. I think a group of girls is about to come in"

Gray groaned and looked out the window, putting the paper in his pocket before standing up, "Shit, I wanted to start closing up soon too. Great" Gray slid the flyer back to Natsu, "I'll call you after I get off about the party."

Natsu turned up the volume on his cassette player and put on his head phones. Giving Gray a thumbs up as he started to color again.

* * *

Natsu got home at around eight. Earlier than he usually would. The times he came home on a school night could range from nine PM to three AM. So Natsu was surprised when he was only greeted by Happy, meowing hungrily by his feet. He didn't see Zeref's shoes or messenger bag for work. Natsu chewed his bottom lip and picked up Happy. He caressed Happy's fur as he walked down the hall into the kitchen, he dropped Happy and went into the cupboard to get a can of cat food. Natsu saw a note on the fridge. Natsu tore the tape off the paper and looked at it:

 _Natsu,_

 _Sorry, I'm working late tonight. I left pizza money on the counter for you. Don't eat all of it or else you'll get a stomach ache. I'll see you in the morning._

 _Zeref._

Natsu lowered his eyes and sighed, he crumpled up the paper and tossed it on the table. He didn't care really. It's what his brother had to do and he understood that, he just thought maybe tonight would be different. Maybe the two of them could have ordered a pizza and watch some eighties flick that was dated and they both would love it. They'd love the impossibilities, the outrageous twists and outdated effects as the enjoyed a greasy piece of cheese pizza. Instead, Natsu would smoke a bowl, order pizza, and probably lazily mastubate untill the delivery person would come. First, he'd have to feed Happy. He got a spoon and scooped out a chunk and put it in Happy's bowl. It smelled like treated tuna and looked pink, but Happy couldn't be more satisfied. Happy purred and started to stuff his face while Natsu scratched behind his ear.

"There you go, buddy." Natsu mumbled and kissed the top of his head before walking out of the kitchen.

Natsu went to his room and in one of his nightstands, getting a bottle of Xanax and took three pills instead of two. He swallowed them with a glob of spit and shook his head after. Natsu plopped on his bed and put his hands over his eyes. It was too quiet in the house. Happy's head was in a bowl of slimy cat food and the creaks of the water running through the apartment building was the only sound really. Little bits of feet from the apartment above Natsu came, even then those were hard to hear. Now, Natsu was regretting even coming home.

Natsu sat up and took off his shirt, he went over to a cardboard box filled with his tapes, he rummaged through the assorted tapes and randomly picked one, not looking at the label and popping it into his stereo and pressing play. It turned out to be his _Dinosaur Jr._ mixtape he made a while ago at Lucy's house. Natsu bobbed his head as he turned the volume up and lifted up his mattress and got out a baggie of weed and then unfolded a pair of boxers where he hid his bowl. Natsu hopped back on the bed and picked up a lighter as he started to pack the bowl. He kinda felt like a loser, he was home, about to smoke alone and then eat a whole pizza by himself later, alone. Alone, alone, alone, alone. How many times was he going to think about being alone? The word started to get worn out in his wish he would have called someone, he didn't feel the best being alone.

Natsu had his thumb over the hole of the bowl and was about to light it before the phone in the sitting room went off. He groaned and glared, placing the glass bowl on the end table. He turned down the volume and went out into the livingroom. It was probably Zaref checking up on him. After the fourth loud ring of the telephone, Natsu picked it up.

"Hello?" Natsu sighed, irritated.

"Ah, great, I got the right number. Hey hot-head. It's Gray."

"Of course it is," Natsu leaned back on the couch arm chair, "What's up?"

"Nothing much, I just clocked out and I thought I would call you before I left to talk about that party again. It's been a couple of days since I asked."

"So you haven't left work yet?"

"That's what I just said."

"You want to maybe hangout tonight?" Natsu asked, "You know where my apartment complex is and we could go to your house."

"You want to hang out now?" Gray asked.

"I didn't think I stuttered. Let's do it. I have pizza money and some weed."

"Hmm, that's very hard for me to refuse a deal like that," It sounded like Gray was smiling, "Is your brother okay with that?"

"Doesn't matter, he's not home."

"Well then why don't I go over there? Wouldn't that be easier?"

"I'm not really in the mood to stay at home. Way too quiet here."

"When I get there it wo-"

" _Too. Quiet._ Get my drift? Now are you picking me up or not?"

Gray sighed. He could understand Natsu's lonely feeling at his house, "Give me about thirty minutes. What's your building number?"

"I'm the third building down."

"Gotcha, see you in a few."

"Hey, Gray." Natsu called.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Thanks."

"No problem."

After fifteen minutes of getting on a new outfit, consisting of white tee shirt with rolled sleeves, tan ripped pants, boots, and his usual scally scarf, unpacking the bowl and putting it in his bag along with the pizza money and the rest of the weed. He stayed at the door for at least twenty more minutes, tapping his foot and playing with Happy. Putting his hand over Happy's face and letting him scratch and bite up his hand and wrist. He heard a car honk a few times from the parking lot and knew it was Gray. Natsu patted Happy's head and moved him off of his lap.

"Shit," Natsu mumbled before unlocking the door.

He looked around quickly for a piece of paper and dug in his bag for a pen. Gray honked again, making Natsu scribbled messy on the piece of paper. Tossing it on the coffee table before locking the door and closing it. He ran down the stairs and out into the parking lot. He spotted Gray's crummy truck and popped open the side of the door and sitting in the passenger's side.

Gray smiled, "Hey."

"Hey, thanks for this."

 _Gloria_ was playing lowly, Natsu pressed the eject button and the stereo spat out the tape.

"You're in my car for five seconds and you're already fucking with my music," Gray started to back out of the parking lot, "Unbelievable."

"I came prepared this time," Natsu got out a tape from his messanger bag and popped it in the stereo,"I wasn't out to listen to some sixties boy bands again."

"Watch your mouth, _The Rolling Stones_ are more than just a boy band from the sixties."

"Whatever," Natsu pressed play and the last song of _Dinosaur Jr._ played. Natsu turned up the volume and leaned back in the seat. Closing his eyes, he tried to ignore the motion of the car. Gray groaned and slightly lowered the music.

"So," Gray begun, "That party we were discussing about earlier."

"What about it?"

"Are you gonna go with me?

Natsu shrugged, "I'm not in the mood to talk about parties right now. I just want to go to your house, have some pizza, and smoke this weed."

"Did you bring everything to smoke that? Cause I'm all out of papers and I don't have a bowl or a bong."

"Of course I'd bring everything. I would be an awful guest if I ha-" Natsu caught himself, "What, do you smoke frequently?"

"I'm a young adult in college. Of course I smoke weed. How else do you think I stay some-what stress free in school?"

"I just thought you were a chilled guy."

"Fuck no, school totally makes you stress out. What are you doing smoking weed? I thought you party and drank and smoked cigarettes, all that shit to have a good time."

Natsu shrugged, "We all do something to make us feel better. Everything that makes me feel better just happens to hurt me in the process."

"That's not true."

"Oh yeah? How so?"

"You draw."

"I mean, yeah sure. I guess I feel good when I draw."

"You like music."

"Well who the hell doesn't like music?"

"Are you kidding me?" Gray asked, "You have a huge hard on for your mixtapes and your boyfriend is a cassette player. I'm jealous of your player because you pay more attention to that than me. I have never seen a person so into music before I met you."

Natsu smirked and softly laughed, running his fingers through his bangs, "So I guess mostly everything I do isn't the best for me." He rephrased.

Gray smiled towards the road and turned the volume back up for Natsu. Natsu put his feet up on the dash and leaned his cheek on his palm. Closing his eyes and listening to the sound of the vehicle, only undermined from the lyrics of _Green Mind_ and the steady breathing through Gray's nose.

They got to Gray's house in about fifteen minutes, which was also when it became nine thirty. Gray unlocked the door and held the door open for Natsu. He put his hands in his pocket and started to remember the layout of the apartment.

"Your brother home?" Natsu asked

"Nope, not right now. He'll probably come home at around twelve from his study group."

Natsu hopped on the couch and got in his bag. Getting out the baggie of weed and bowl. He crossed his legs and opened up the baggie.

"He won't nark on us if he knows about the weed will he?"

"Nah, we just gotta air out the place."  
"Oh yeah, he's not into the smell of smoke. I forgot," Natsu started to pack the bowl, "Can you order pizza while I do this?"

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"Twenty dollars worth of pizza should get us two large cheese pizzas," Natsu got out his lighter and put his thumb over the hole on the side of the bowl, "You have any beer?"

"There's no way we'll eat two large pizzas, even being high."

"Just listen to me and do it." Natsu snapped and lit the top, taking a hit.

He pulled away and held the smoke for a minute, blowing out a faded line of smoke. Coughing in his hand after.

"Don't smoke all that without me. And open a window too," Gray got the phone, "Beer is in the fridge, I'll get it in a minute."

"Whatever." Natsu said, slipping against the couch and about to take another hit.

Natsu felt like a freeloader. He blew smoke above his head and closed his eyes, forgetting all about opening a window. He tried to remember the last song lyrics he listened to.

* * *

So after an hour of smoking all the weed, leisurely eating greasy pizza and incoherently drink beer as they talked in murmurs. They kept the tv on and were watching _Animaniacs_ as background noise _._ They had to change it to cartoons because the _X Files_ marathon was starting to fuck them up. Earlier during the night they started with laughing randomly at simple phrases and telling a lot more dirty, immature things to each other. Gray tried to pluck the strings on his bass but Natsu wanted to keep sitting on Gray's was a tad flirty when he was under the influence. He kept leaning over to blow smoke in Gray's mouth as he inhaled. Lips hovering close to each other, Natsu's hand on Gray's thigh with a smile on his face as he talked about how great being fucked would be. Gray thought nothing of it. Mostly because he was in the state of "chilling"

Meaning the world is moving too fast and if you stand up you'll only topple over because of the orbit. So all you do is smile about how slow you see things and laugh faintly at nothing. You are now "chilling". But as the night progressed with food and alcohol, the high started to fade and they became sluggish. Making the two of them antsier and nosey. They sat on the floor, a few empty beer bottles surrounding them, the two pizza boxes split between them as it was hard for them to make eye contact while they played Truth or Dare. Really, they were just asking questions about each other and leaving out the dares.

They asked simple small talk questions at first. Simple questions like school, or favourite birthdays, or who was the biggest bitch they ever met. But then, it started to become deeper than the shallow questions they were asking and they didn't even notice. They started to ask who was their first crush, what was the worse thing that got them in trouble, when was their first time, what was the first time you really missed your parents. It might not have been really deep, but to them, it sounded like they were reaching into each other somehow. Stupid dirty questions, or something made them think more about their past. Maybe it was the weed or the beer.

"Truth or dare?" Gray asked, lighting a cigarette. Not caring whether it would smell or not.

Natsu took a swig of beer, "Truth."

Gray sighed as he thought for a moment, "What's your favourite thing on a guy?"

"Besides a huge-"

"Besides that, yeah."

"Um, okay then," Natsu brought a knee up to his chest and shrugged, "Eyes I guess."

"You guessed? Oh come on, you have to _know_ what you like in a guy," Gray blew smoke out of the corner of his mouth, "Like, when you look at me, what's the first thing you notice?"

"I notice that you'll never shut up when I'm around."

"Very funny, really though, look at me and tell me what you notice."

Natsu licked his lips and stared at Gray. Really analyzing the details and creases of Gray's face. The tint of his eyes, the smoothness of his skin captured by the pale pink of his lips as he took a drag of his cigarette. He had never looked at anything so closely. Gray was like a living painting. Natsu thought he might belong in a museum. Or his bed.

"Well?"

Natsu snapped out of it and straightened up his back, "I don't know. I guess I just like looking at you."

"I guess I'm not the best example. Okay, when you're in the mood to hit on a guy, what do you look at first?"

"The size of their dick in their jeans."

"Natsu, come- the fuck- on!"

"Hey if you're going to ask a question expect an answer, dummy!"

Gray groaned and teased his hair, "Fine, whatever. Your turn."

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"When was the last time you had sex?"

Gray tugged on his shirt as he tried to dig up the memory of his last time, "Maybe a year ago? Yeah, that sounds about right. Some girl I met at a party my friends thought I couldn't get with."

"You poor, poor soul." Natsu shook his head.

"Hey! Don't pity me! What about you huh?"

"I didn't even pick Truth my last time was a month ago."

"A _month_?! You're seventeen, you don't need to be having more sex than me! You shouldn't even be having any sex."

"Oh? And the only thing I'm guessing you want to do is hold hands with me?" Natsu took a swig of beer and hummed, "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"How long have you liked me for?"

"Hey, no fair, I told you that was a secret a while ago."

"And I asked you truth or dare, now tell me."

Gray tapped out ash into a beer bottle and shrugged, "A while."

"That's a pretty shit answer."

"Yeah, well. That's my answer though."

"Hell no, you're not getting off that easily. Tell me when. This is the day I'm going to find out."

Natsu tucked his legs up into his chest and narrowed his eyes as Gray glared back with his cigarette hanging from his lips. It was like they were having an unintentional staring contest and whoever blinked first would have to give up. Both of them were stubborn, but it seemed like Natsu was more stubborn. Gray turned his head and closed his eyes, stubbing out his cigarette.

"I remember last winter, when they eased me to stop stocking and taught me about how to make drinks, use the register; shit like that. I heard muffled music while I was brewing some new coffee and I thought 'who in the hell is listening to music that loud and how have they not blown their fucking ear drums out?' I turned my head and I almost wanted to burst out laughing," Gray started to softly chuckle and shake his head, "I saw this angsty teenager with pink hair asking for the hottest coffee we had while bundled up in God knows how many layers listening to some kind of grunge mixtape. You looked like a little puff ball or something in that stupid scarf. All I could think of was how fucking adorable you looked. I never had the chance to talk to you till recently."

"Hey, my scarf isn't stupid." Natsu pouted.

"I just told you the story of when I first saw you that I liked you and that's all you can say?"

"Well, of course that's not all I can say. That's really sweet, I'm just telling you my scarf isn't stupid."

Gray gingerly laughed and shook his head, "What else could I expect from you?"

Natsu slowly licked his lips and bit his bottom lip briefly. He didn't let it show, but he felt flushed inside. Like some sort of heat had flooded inside of his stomach like some type of bon fire. He could taste the smoke in the back of his throat as he looked at this what flattery felt like? Gray caught Natsu staring ask his brushed back his dark locks.

"Truth or Dare?" Gray asked.

"Truth." Natsu said, gently.

" Now since you asked me that you seemed to take the idea of me liking you pretty well. . So maybe… Uh," It's like it was hard for him to muster the courage to say his sentence. Natsu had no clue why, "Do you…. Maybe...Like me? Like, not relationship wise but just like me in any way?"

"Like you? Well, yeah. I like you. I like spending time with you, I like talking to you, oddly. I think about you lots," Natsu slightly blushed and scratched behind his ear, "I guess you could say I like you alot."

"Yeah?" Gray said, straightening up his back.

Natsu shrugged and nodded. It felt like a weight was lifted from Gray's chest. He felt lighter than air itself and that he could defy gravity if he wanted to. Honestly, he felt like he was already floating, and Natsu could see it on Gray's face. Natsu leaned on his palms and crawled towards Gray.

"Truth or dare." Natsu's voice was airy. He could see the crisp blush on Gray's cheeks.

"Truth."

"Do you want to kiss me?"

Gray felt his mouth moisten. He let a petite smile sneak from his lips quick. "Uh… I mean...Yeah, I do. Truth or Dare?"

"Truth." Natsu replied, putting his hand on Gray's chest.

"Would you let me kiss you?"

Gray put his fingers on Natsu's cheek, easing his palm along. His hands felt so cool against Natsu's skin. He almost wanted to nuzzle against Gray's palm and like it like a cat would to show affection. He spoke instead.

"Yeah, I would. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare." Gray murmured

"I dare you to kiss me," Natsu tilted his head and leaned in close, "Now."

Gray paused for a moment before closing the gap between his and Natsu's lips. He kissed him lightly before closing his eyes. Natsu could taste the leftover beer and pizza as he kissed Gray, Natsu almost thought he could count Gray's eyelashes on his cheek. Natsu parted his lips and deepened the kiss. He moved closer to Gray, Gray sat his hands on Natsu's hips. Gray laid down, the carpet itching against his back with Natsu on top and loving the fact he was on top. Natsu finally made that move he wanted to make for the longest time. Gray couldn't feel any better.

Natsu softly breathed out and pulled away from Gray's mouth, his eyes slit open. Gray smiled and laughed through his nose. He kissed Natsu again, harder this time and now moving his hands up on Natsu's side as he snuck his tongue in. Natsu opened his mouth more and lapped his tongue over Gray's releasing a quiet moan. Gray smirked and bit Natsu's bottom lip.

"Is it okay if i touch it now?" Gray asked, running his hand up Natsu's shirt to his chest, kissing Natsu's jaw line, he heard Natsu sigh from pleasure, "Your piercing that is."

"You didn't ask me Truth or Dare." Natsu said.

Gray giggled, "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"Would you let me touch your piercing?"

"Hell-the fuck- yes."

Gray grinned, letting his hand linger over to Natsu's peck. He tried to pace himself with Natsu's breathing. He turned his thumb on Natsu's skin as he kissed down Natsu's neck. Natsu sighed and popped his back out. Gray's thumb glided over Natsu's nipple, but only glided for a moment as the background started to change.

Gray heard the door click close, both he and Natsu looked up. Lyon was taking off his shoes and setting down his bag.

"What, no welcome home?" Lyon said.

"Lyon!" Gray removed his hand and pushed up on Natsu's chest, practically falling on his ass. Gray tried his best to hide the bowl between the couch cushions and hoped the smell of weed faded from his clothes, "Hey, hey, hi Lyon. Back so soon?"

"Well, I had to go home sometime soon. I didn't know that when I would come back you'd be busy. You could have called, I would have stayed out longer."

"Heh, only if I knew." Gray said, somewhat nervous.

Natsu glared at Gray, he straightened out his shirt and looked around for his scarf, wrapping it around his neck.

"Nice to meet you again, Lyon," Natsu groaned as he got up, "Do you know what time it is?"

"Eleven something. Sorry for intruding."

"It's whatever," Natsu said and rubbed his head, "I should probably be getting home anyway. My brother is probably home by now."

"Oh, yeah. I'll drive you." Gray tried to dig out the bowl and stuff it as deeply as his pocket would let him and stood up.

Natsu stood up and started to walk towards the door. He picked up his messenger bag and slipped on his shoes. Gray got his keys from the end table, Lyon stopped him from walking to the door.

"Are you okay to drive?" Lyon whispered, "I see you had a few beers while he was here."

"I'm fine, Lyon. It was just a few and I had them awhile ago. No big deal, he'll be safe."

"Gray, I don't mind driving him home," Lyon leaned in close, "I know you smoked pot earlier, I saw you try to sneak the bowl."

Gray tried to cover up a groan and rolled his eyes, "Ah fuck, this was hours ago, I'm fine. At most I'm a little buzzed."

"Okay, but when you get back home, I'm giving you a long rant about smoking pot in the house."

"Yeah yeah , whatever," Gray passed Lyon and met Natsu at the door, "Ready?"

Natsu nodded and opened up the door, Gray waved as he shut the door. Immediately, his arm was punched hard.

"Ow!" Gray exclaimed rubbing his arm and looking at Natsu with wide eyes, "What the fuck?!"

"Don't push me off of you like that again. Ever. Got it?"

"Shit, that's why I get hit? I freaked out when Lyon came in," Natsu started to walk off with his chin up high. Gray followed, "I didn't know what else to do."

"Well, you're an ass-hat and I hate you right now."

"Hate me? Is that why you're still letting me give you a ride?"

Natsu didn't say anything. He walked out of the apartment complex and towards Gray's parked truck. Before he could open the passenger side all the way, Gray shut it closed and pressed Natsu's back against the door. Their hips were outrageously close together, Gray put his finger under Natsu's chin.

"Can you really give me the silent treatment after we just made out for the first time?"

Natsu puffed out his bottom lip, not replying. Gray ran his thumb on the bottom of Natsu's chin with a small smile and airily kissed him again. Natsu closed his eyes, not resisting Gray's mouth, he squeezed his bag close to his chest. Gray pulled away for a moment. Natsu cheeks were a dainty scarlet color before he turned around and opened the car door.

"Asshole." Natsu mumbled as he slammed the door.

Gray smirked and moved to the other side of the truck. Natsu sat his bag on the floor and buckled his seat belt while the car started up. After Gray put the car in reverse and shift the gears, he put his hand on Natsu leg and moved slowly the the side of Natsu's thigh and gave a small squeeze.

"You can't do that, you have a stick shift. You need to keep your hand on it." Natsu pointed out.

"Don't worry, I have quick hands. I'll be able to drive fine." Gray said, "Or do you just not like my hand there?"

"Well… I don't know… I don't know how I feel about it."

"How about I leave it there and once you figure it out I'll move it, okay?"

Natsu nodded and looked forward, viewing the same black road Gray was looking at. How the brightness of the headlights was starting to screw with his eyes because of the dark contrast of the lights and bleakness of the night. Natsu listened to a new song of _Dinosaur Jr,_ but he didn't remember what the song was, or the lyrics that played. Every few minutes, Gray kept moving his hand off Natsu's leg and it would be in a slightly lower or higher spot. Gray's hand was cold, Natsu remembered how could they were on his chest and stomach, Natsu shivered. Natu cranked down the window and hung his hand out.

* * *

 _He got to touch it._

"Want a smoke?" Gray asked.

"Huh?" Natsu turned his head, "Oh, no. No, I'm fine. Thanks though."

Gray shifted to stop at a redlight and was about to put his hand back on Natsu's leg, instead, Natsu caught his hand with his and put his hand on top of Gray's and locked the fingers with him.

"Natsu, you know it's going to be hard for me to shift."

"No it's not, my hand is on top. You can keep your hand on the gear stick if you want. I just want to hold your hand right now, okay? Please?"

Gray smiled, "Well, I guess since you said 'please' I'll let you."

"Oh, so the magic word works this time?"

"Sure did. I think your _magic_ has gotten stronger."

"Or maybe it's gotten stronger around you."

"Hey, truth or dare?" Gray asked.

"Why?"

"Just choose, truth or dare."

Natsu shrugged, "Dare I guess."

"Dare you to go to that party with me." Gray smirked.

"Fuck…"

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	5. White Lady

**Hey guys! New chapter is up, whoo! It's more Natsu and Lucy this time and less Gray and Natsu together. But don't worry, Gray will be back. This is a lot of fun though. I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

After school, Lucy and Natsu rode home with the wind running through their hair in her Beetle convertible to get ready for an underground rave party Natsu heard about floating around. Natsu and Lucy had to save up enough money- not for bribe money for the bouncer- but to finally get a fake ID. The two of them were so excited to finally get one. A hundred dollars per ID. Lucy had to do well on a few tests and be more of a daddy's girl for the extra cash. Natsu had to do one of his least favourite things to do which was 1.) Drawing commissions ranging in prices for people at school and 2.) Sell a couple of his tapes. The thought of it made his hands shake, he knew the ID would be worth it later in life. Lucy had to do quick adjustments to her outfit, which included tight flared jeans and a squeezable platinum crop top that showed her breasts more. Redoing her make up and hair. Natsu sat on the toilet seat in the bathroom, looking at Lucy apply her mascara.

Natsu liked watching Lucy do her makeup, like she was doing some kind of precise science that required her full focus. He didn't like knowing that she wore it for others, he had seen her on weekends where she had her hair up and out of her face while she watched movies with Natsu in sweatpants while they licked their fingers of _Cheeto_ dust or fallen chocolate ice cream that dribbled on their palms. This was when she laughed the most, where Natsu would make fun of how _Disney_ would draw their princesses, making every father who had "daughter issues" swoon. How their proportions should land them in a wheelchair and their lush hair should fall in her own way, Lucy was a princess, locked away in a tower by parents who barely got any screen time and would doll herself up by some passing prince. Lucy did want to find that prince, so she had to make sure she looked her best when she was able to sneak out of her tower.

Natsu focused in closely as Lucy put on pink lipstick and pressed her lips together to make a pop. Her father was on business and her mother was accompanying him so the house was empty and she was allowed to join Natsu at a rave. Natsu told Zeref that he'd be hanging out at Lucy's house until late. He lied because Zeref hated when Natsu went to a raver, mostly because it meant harder drinks, stronger drugs, and more strangers that wanted to make money off of kids like Natsu. He knew what Natsu would be like at those kind of parties. It wasn't even close to high schooler parties or even college parties. That wasn't going to stop Natsu from going to any. Lucy wiped of excess lipstick on her lips and turned to face Natsu.

"So? How do I look?" Lucy asked.

Natsu looked up and twirled his finger, "Turn around," Lucy giggled and did a slow spin, "H-h-holy shit, I swear, your ass has it's own orbit it's so fat. There's no way the guys will keep their hands off of you."

Lucy laughed and looked back at the mirror, rubbing in leftover foundation a wiping access eyeliner from under her waterline.

"It's felt like forever since you and I went out. I know it's been a long time since I've been to a rave."

"You think you'll be okay? You'll stay safe in there, yeah?"

Lucy chuckled slightly, "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"I gotta keep my eye out on my Golden Girl."

"I'll be fine. I know not to drink a lot, make sure my glass is covered, no rides from strangers…" Lucy trailed off.

"And?" Natsu leaned over.

"And don't take any drugs from anyone."

Natsu grinned, "I've taught you so well."

"Learned from the best," She replied and started to pack her makeup in her purse, "Where are we going again?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll point to the direction and you drive."

Lucy sighed, "You're horrible with directions, Natsu."

"Yeah well," Natsu slapped his legs and grunted as he stood up, "What are you gonna do about it? How do I look?"

Natsu had on a short leather jacket that was too tight in the arms and a _No Smoking_ grey muscle tee shirt with charcoal jeans and boots. Of course, wearing his scarf and rainbow beaded bracelets on his wrists to complete the outfit.

"Turn around."

Natsu ungracefully spun, Lucy gasp, "Oh my god, good thing we're going out during the night, or else your ass would block the sun and you'd cause an eclipse."

"Oh shut up," Natsu shoved Lucy lightly and laughed. He checked himself in the mirror, "I do look hot though, damn"

Lucy wrapped her arms around Natsu's neck with a small smile and kissed Natsu's cheek, humming cutely as she looked over in the mirror and rubbed Natsu's shoulders quickly.

"You always look nice, honey."

Natsu patted Lucy's petite hand and kissed the back of her palm, "You look beautiful too, Luc."

Lucy curled up her lips and pulled off. They needed complements from each other, these were the only complements they rarely let themselves agree on. Lately, Natsu let that slip and always loved when Gray complemented him. Not even complimenting his body or face, but a drawing maybe, or a song he was listening to. Natsu caught himself smiling more, he had been to the coffee shop more and since he had been to Gray's, he had let his hand linger on Gray's as he got his coffee cup. Natsu started to stay until closing time so Gray could give him a ride home and so they could make out in his truck for a good amount of time.

Feeling Gray's lips on his cheek and as he let Natsu giggle, he'd kiss his nose and let his hands wander on Natsu's sides. They really hadn't talked about where they stand relationship wise, they just kept their lips connected to one another, and once the truck got too warm, Natsu would hop out and tell Gray he'd see him next time at the coffee shop. They'd talk on the phone for an hour a couple times a week. Gray now knew what Natsu's voice sounded like when he was sleepy. Cute, low mumbles that Gray could only softly laugh at.

"Should we get going?" Lucy asked.

Natsu nodded, "Got the ID?"

"I put it in my purse right after we got it made. Can't believe that it took an hour to make, they look really good. Keep yours in your wallet."  
"Yes, mother."

Lucy got out her keys and opened the bathroom door Natsu followed her out and they walked out into the car.

* * *

Lucy kept the top down in the car as they glided on the freeway. Natsu kept his head out of the window, when he was in Lucy's convertible he had a greater chance of vomiting. Better to throw up on the road than in the apostolate of the car. Natsu's eyes were closed, and let the sun that lowered down brush his eyelids. Lucy wore bug-eyed sunglasses to shield herself as she watched the road. _Nirvana_ was playing lowly on the radio.

"So," Lucy begun, "How's life been?"

"Fine, Luc. School life is fine, home life is fine as ever, social life is fine."

"Does social life go into what you do after school?"

"Why do you ask that?" Natsu asked.

"Nothing, it's just you haven't hung out with me for awhile now. Not since my house party. You haven't talked much about what you've been doing after school."

"Well, mostly because I go o a coffee shop, do some homework, draw. I've talked to a guy there."

"A guy?" Lucy trailed looking over at Natsu, grinning widely,"I didn't know you were talking to a guy."

Natsu shrugged and tilted his head, Lucy pushed her sunglasses up, "Well don't just say anything. Tell me about him."

"What do you want to know?" Natsu sighed.

"Name."

"Icicle."

"Do you already have a pet name for him?" Lucy giggled.

"His name is Gray. He's a hot dick-cheese who makes me coffee and buys me muffins sometimes and hits on me constantly. Oh, he gives me rides too."

"Are you saying you aren't hitting on him? I mean, if you're spending so much time with him you must like him."

"I wouldn't say I'm hitting on him exactly," Natsu said, "We kinda just make out in his car."

"Natsu! You dog!" Lucy patting Natsu's arm a few times with a wide grin, "So you've had sex with him yeah?"

"No, just made out in his car."

"That's it? Not even a blowjob?"

Natsu shook his head, "Nope."

"Handjob?"

"Nope."

"Why the hell are you wasting your time on the guy? You're already making out with him after school, why not get laid too?"

"Maybe I want to make a new makeout friend."

"Oh, bullshit," Lucy slowly started to stop the car, "Left or right?"

"Right, and I like having a makeout buddy. Why do I _have_ to have sex with him?"

"Cause that's what you do. You have sex with more hot guys than I do and it's not fair. You've never just had a makeout buddy before."

Natsu rubbed his face, "Well he's different. Next turn you want to make is a left and then you should see a big warehouse."

Lucy nodded, "How is Gray different from other guys you've met?"

"He's in college. He's in a band. He just doesn't want to fuck me… He's nice to me, he smiles at me…" Natsu softly trailed, the wind talking over him, "A lot, like a crazy amount."

Lucy turned left on the street and slowed down to look for the warehouse. She was able to look at Natsu, seeing the recollect on Natsu's face as he thought about Gray. He let his thumb graze his bottom lip, maybe trying to feel how Gray's lips felt on his. Lucy parked the car.

"You really like him, huh?"

Natsu rolled his shoulders. "I dunno," Natsu unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the car door, "Come on, let's go in."

Lucy got her purse and opened her side of the door. She pulled down the top on her car and locked her hiked up her top to show her slim belly and followed Natsu. They parked a few blocks before the warehouse, so they didn't give any attention to a random warehouse. They could already hear the upbeat music as they approached the warehouse. A guy dressed in black sitting in a chair, like ones people would bring on a camping trip, stood up and greeted the to.

"Entrance fee twenty dollars and an ID, please." Security said, lowly.

"You guys sell water in there?" Natsu asked, rummaging in his wallet.

"It would be a liability if we didn't. Three dollars a bottle."

"Tch, those better be some big ass bottles."

Lucy nudged Natsu and handed the man twenty dollars and her ID. The guy glanced up at her and the ID picture a few times to make sure they matched and handed it back.

"Have a fun time in there, sweetheart."

Lucy smiled and opened the heavy red door, "I'll meet you inside."

Natsu handed two wadded tens and his ID, "Do you know what's playing inside?"

"Just some acid house music. I can't tell you any details right now. You can go in." He handed Natsu his ID.

"Thanks, bud."

Natsu usually never liked the music at raves. They were usually upbeat or some old school jungle music. What he really liked was the smell of sweat and drugs that seeped through people's pores. Because that meant someone somewhere, was selling something, quick and usually a decent price. He usually wanted pills or a jay laced with something. He usually bought four things at raves 1) water, obviously, 2) Uppers, and if the uppers are too expensive, downers, 3) condoms, again, obviously and 4) glow sticks so he could blend in with the shiny, colorful crowd.

Already a girl and a guy were pressed together in the corner where Natsu entered. Their tongue were tangled together and the guy's hand was squeezing her breasts, their skin was glossy and their clothes nearly off. She wore a brown bra with tassles and short shorts with a pink glow necklace around her head. The guy had a boner, trying to hide it between the girl's thighs, Natsu was pretty sure they were going to fuck right there. It wouldn't be the first time it ever happened at a rave. Natsu just passed them and looked for Lucy, she had cut in line and was already buying two bottles of water. She handed one to Natsu.

"This place is huge," Lucy yelled over the music, "Try not to get lost in here."

"Don't worry, I won't."

"If you leave early tell me, got it?"

"Got it. You gonna dance?"

"Hell yeah I'm gonna dance," Lucy grinned, "Wanna come with me?"

"Nah, I'm gonna see if I can't score." Natsu called.

"Make sure you drink enough water."

"Yeah yeah, I know."

Lucy was already swaying her hips and walked over to a spot where everyone seemed to have their hands up and were moving their legs. She was going to be just fine. Natsu hoped he would be able to find Lucy among everyone. A bar area that consist of a long wooden table with a bookshelf of booze and cups in the back. There was a bowl of condoms on the corner edge and Natsu snatched one. You could never be too careful. The bartender was a girl with long brown hair, and a blue bra was slamming down a shot.

"Uh, hey, excuse me?"

The woman sighed and raised an eyebrow, "What the hell are you doin here, baby face?" She asked.

"Well, I paid the entrance fee to a rave so I'm pretty sure I came to party."

"Beat it. We don't give booze to minors."

"Hey, I have an ID, you can check it." Natsu said, leaning on the counter, "I didn't come up here for a beer."

"You know, I have to give you props," The woman's words slurred a little, "You must had a good fake. Security is really good at picking up on shit like that. How much?"

"Excuse me?"

"How much was it? The ID? Don't worry, I won't snitch on you, baby."

The woman smirked widely and bent over the counter. Her breast overflowing on her forearms. He arms were filled with glow in the dark bracelets of different colors. She looked young and curious, Natsu nipped his cheek and sucked some blood.

"Hundred bucks."

She squeezed her eyes shut and breathed out, "Sheesh, goddamn, kid. That's one helluva picture," She got a bottle from under the table and cracked it open on the table, "You deserve a drink just for getting in."

"What happened to not giving alcohol to minors?"

"That's before I knew you paid a hundred fucking bucks for a fancy fake ID. My name is Cana, what can I do for you?"

Natsu took a sip from the bottle. It was cherry _Schnapps_ , Natsu was pretty sure it was a joke but he wasn't going to deny a free drink.

"Well, Cana," Natsu rolled his tongue, "I was wondering if you knew anyone…. Let's say, handing out some 'goods' tonight?"

Cana leaned in closer and took the bottle from Natsu, chugging it halfway before handing it back. She knew all the codenames, "You don't need that kind of 'candy'. I'll let you drink as much 'soda' you want, but you're too young for that shit."

"Come on, I didn't come here for the music. It came here to fucking party," Natsu said , lowly, "So either you help me score or I call the cops saying a rave is happening and it's handing out alcohol to minors. Then everyone gets searched and everyone blames the big tittied drunk behind the bar."

Cana grabbed Natsu's scarf and pulled him up, "You're a little shit head…" She tilted her head and shrugged, "I like it," Cana started to drop Natsu back down, "You don't have a sweet tooth for 'candy' yeah? You won't go overboard or anything yeah?"

"Worse comes to worse, I'll pass out. I can handle my 'sweets'. You have my word, Cana."

Cana pierced her lips together and in the brief silence of the songs switching, she went to Natsu's ear, she whispered: "What are you lookin for?"

"What's cheap?" Natsu asked as the next song started to bump.

"I know someone is always selling the Love Drug," Cana said, "Ten bucks for two pills. White Lady is floating around with a big group of addicts. You probably won't have to pay if they're so doped up."

"H? Shit," Natsu chewed his lip, "Shit, shit, shit."

"You got a problem with it?

 _It's just once. It's been along time. You can have it. You can control yourself, you're okay now, you're better. Just one time, Natsu…. Just one…_

Natsu hadn't done H since he was finally put on medication. So he didn't have to control his emotions with street drugs. But that didn't mean he didn't crave it. He'd always have a soft spot for the White Lady.

 _Just once..._

"Well, I'm not really feeling like falling in love with anyone tonight. I'll go with Lady, where can I find her?"

"The pisser, where else?" Cana chuckled under her breath, "Ladies bathroom, a group of girls and guys are probably in a stall. They'll share, they bought enough needles for everyone."

Natsu nodded and slammed the rest of his drink, "Thanks, Cana."

"Hey, kid," Cana reached over and grabbed Natsu's forearm, "You be careful in there. I already feel like shit setting you up on the date with White Lady. Don't make a fool out of me."

"Don't worry, I'm used to this kind of stuff."

* * *

The rubber hose between Natsu's teeth slowly started to fall from his mouth as the needle was removed from his forearm. It wasn't hard to find a vein but it was tricky to shoot up, Natsu missed the first time. He was hydrated after chugging his water, he was so bloated with water that he could hear it swish in his stomach even sitting down. But everything sounded muffled, like the world was screaming but wrapped in a tight blanket, smothering its mouth and nose. Natsu's blood itched, he was slumped against the bathroom stall, the needle loosely clenched in his hand. His chest felt warm, like a toasty fire or like his heart was getting a hug from his lungs and they gave heat to each other. Natsu almost wished he could form a smile, but his lips were too heavy at the corners. He could smell the lighter fluid that lit under the burnt spoon. The milky light in the bathroom became blurred, the music was becoming enjoyable.

Natsu had broken a rule.

* * *

And when Natsu heard Lucy, it sounded like bubbles were coming out of her mouth. As Natsu woke from the shaking of hands on him, his eyes burned from the florescent light bulbs. His stomach churned.

"Natsu, Natsu, you freaking idiot, wake up," Lucy sounded worried and angry, "Natsu!"

Lucy's hand slapped across Natsu's face, Natsu decided to perk up and rub his eyes. The pink and neon green glow of bracelets on her wrists started to wake him.

"Shit, Lucy, don't shout." Natsu groaned.

"Heh, yeah right, like I'm not gonna yell," Lucy snarked, "I'm pretty pissed off at you right now. I was so worried, I thought you left with someone."

"Wait, what time is it?"

"It's twelve, I've been looking for you for an hour, your brother even called my cell. I had to tell him what we were doing."

"Fuck, he's gonna be mad," Natsu squeezed his eyes close and gripped his hair. Lucy slapped Natsu across the cheek again, "Will you fucking stop that?!"

"No, I won't. You have no idea how worried I was and now I find you amongst junkies passed out from God-knows-what," Lucy was talking so fast she forgot to breathe, "What the hell did you take?"

"You're not gonna like it…"

"I don't like you right now, anyway. Tell me."

"...H…"

"H? What the-" It took her a moment but she figured out the nickname, "You idiot! You dumb fucking idiot! What the hell were you thinking?!" Lucy started to shake Natsu's shoulders, "You got off that shit along time ago!"

"I just did it once," Natsu grabbed Lucy's wrists tightly and flashed his teeth, "I'm not gonna start doing it, now stop fucking touching me. I feel like I'm gonna ralf."

Lucy leaned back and stood up. She was angry, beyond pissed off, there was no way to describe her at the moment. Natsu leaned over in the toilet bowl and threw up, mostly acidic water was what came up, but nonetheless, it hurt his throat. He coughed a few times and it echoed in the stall.

Natsu wiped snot and spit off his face with his jacket sleeve that he took off a long time ago and sat back down. He lowered down the sleeve on the arm he shot up with. His skin didn't feel good. After Natsu's stomach settled down he slowly stood up.

"Come on, let's get out of here before Zeref calls again."

"Yeah… Let's," Lucy unlocked the door and opened up her purse, she looked in the mirror and paused, "Wait."

"What is it, Luc?" Natsu sighed.

"Bite me," Lucy spat and took out her eyeliner, "I need to touch up on my makeup."

"Why? We're leaving."

"I just need to, Natsu. I'll be quick."

Lucy put the black pencil to her water line and parted her lips. She needed a distraction. If she didn't have one, she probably would beat the shit out of Natsu. She would be able to anyway, Natsu felt weak. He'd be too weak to see his brother. Natsu swallowed leftover vomit and spit. He hopped up on the sink counter and looked at Lucy put on her eyeliner.

* * *

The car ride was quiet. The roof on the convertible was up and the music was turn off. Lucy drove with one hand on the wheel, her other hand on her cheek as she watched the dark road. Her jaw was tight and her mouth in a frown. She reminded Natsu of a disappointed mother, even though he never had one around, he was pretty sure this is what it felt like. Natsu clenched his stomach and looked out the window, losing track of how many stars there were, it reminded him of Gray. Gray and the stupid glow in the dark stars he had on his ceiling. Natsu closed his eyes, the vibration of the car shot through his body while he scratched his arm. He finally thought of something to say.

"Are… Are you alright?" Natsu softly asked.

Lucy chuckled, bitterly, "Am I alright. I'm not the one who shot up in a bathroom."

"You know I have to look out for my Golden Girl, baby."

Lucy sighed through her nose. She could stand when Natsu talked to her sometimes. Where the words came out smoothly, like they were dipped in gold and it hung around her neck leaving her with a smile.

"Yeah, Natsu. I'm fine. What about you? Are you okay?"

"I've been better. My arm hurts though, I think I might have a bruise or something where I missed the first time."

Lucy shook her head with a faint smile, "Well at least I know you're not good at it anymore."

Natsu looked over at Lucy, admiring her looks in the moon, "I'm sorry, Luc. I know I fucked up. I fucked up really bad."

"I know, I know," Lucy said.

"So how much did you tell Zeref?"

"I only told him we went to the rave. If you play it off cool he'll never know you took the shit and you'll be in the clear."

"Thanks, Lucy."

"You have to promise me something, Natsu."

"Anything, name it."

"Swear to me you won't do that again. I can't stand when you do that stuff when I'm around and I can't talk you out of doing it."  
"Cross my heart and hope to die."

Natsu held out his pinky and Lucy hooked hers around Natsu's. He crossed an 'X' on his chest and pulled away.

He rolled up his jacket sleeve and could feel the bruise fester up on his skin.

* * *

Once Lucy dropped him off and gave Natsu her green liked the feeling around his could only hope that his brother got sick of waiting up for him and went to bed. Sadly, as Natsu quietly shut the door and unzip and take off his jacket, he could hear Zeref sit up from the couch and stand up. He scrunched his face up and could feel the overwhelmingly heavy feeling of Zeref's gaze upon him. Natsu was almost afraid to turn around.

"Natsu…" Zeref gritted.

Natsu took a deep breath and turned around, "Hey," Natsu lowly said, running his fingers back in his hair, "How's it going?"

"You were at a rave tonight."

"Yeah…"

"And you got home at around…. One?"

"About that, yeah."  
Zeref crossed his arms and popped out his hip, "So you lie to me on where you were going to be tonight, go to a rave- which I never want you to do- and then you come home at one in the morning."

"Seems like you know everything…"

"Natsu, I let you get away with a lot of stuff and that's because I think you're old enough to where you won't do stupid things or you'll do stupid things that I won't know about and I think you'll comply to the few rules I actually have and you can't even do that."

Natsu licked his lips and kept his head down, unable to make eye contact. Natsu rubbed his arm slowly as Zeref's voice became background noise. Natsu knew he screwed up, really, he only cared because he got caught. That's what everyone does, they only feel guilty after they've been caught.

"Natsu, are you even listening to me anymore?"

"Huh?" Natsu snapped his head back up, Zeref pinched his brow.

"Natsu, you know I have a lot of stress right now. It's hard to support you and me all by myself. I want you to have a good time, but I don't want you at raves anymore."  
"Yeah, I know you don't. It's just that-"

"Don't give me any excuses," Zeref rubbed his forehead, "Just… Just go to your room and go to bed, okay? I don't want to deal with you right now."

That hurt.

Natsu swallowed and dropped his arm walking past his brother, Zeref caught the discolor of Natsu's skin and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, wait a sec, are you okay?" Zeref grabbed Natsu's shoulder, sounding concerned, "What's wrong with your arm?"

"Oh, I must have bumped into someone while Lucy and I were dancing. It's nothing." Natsu lied.

"It looks really red, let me see," Natsu tensed up his forearm to stop him from shaking. Zeref studied the mark. Natsu's skin was pale, and the blue veins that connect like wires were distorted by a dark bruise and a puncture wound. Natsu turned his head away as Zeref let his hand fall down, "Natsu… Is this what I think it is?"

"Depends on what you think it is…"

"Is this a needle mark?"

"Might be…"

There was no emotion in Natsu's voice. It was not cold and it was not ridden with failure. It was just nothing. He was lost.

"Are you doing heroin again? I thought you stopped this after we got you perscribed Xanax."

Silence.

"What in the world is wrong with you?"

Silence.

"Why the hell do you always do stuff like this? Why do you have to do this to me?"

Silence.

It didn't sound like there was any effort left in Zeref's voice. Only some sort of self pity sadness. He shook his head. "I can't believe this, you have a fucking track mark on your arm. You look like a classic junkie right now. I hope to God that doesn't get worse"

Silence.

"Get out of here. Just get out of here. Go to your room and stay in there till I want to talk to you."

Natsu walked away from Zeref and walked into his room. Happy was asleep on his bed as he flicked on the light. He went to his vanity and he noticed how glossy and red his eyes had become. He was about to cry. He looked at his palms and noticed nail dents in them, Natsu bit his lip and rubbed his face. He couldn't handle all this harshness, he couldn't stand his much pain. Right now he wanted Gray. He wanted to be at Gray's house baked and making out. He wanted a breakfast cooked by Gray, he wanted to be touched by Gray, he wanted to hear his sarcastic voice, and he wanted to look at those stupid fucking glow in the dark stars. Because to Gray, Natsu didn't have this downfall, he was just Natsu. Natsu, the black coffee and muffin eater. Natsu wanted to go to that coffee shop desperately.

If Gray were here, he'd crack sad jokes about the night and hold Natsu tightly in his chest as he finally came all the way off his high. He'd stroke Natsu's hair as Natsu would take in the smell of Gray's bare chest. Natsu would trace his finger on Gray's tattoo. The he would make something warm for Natsu to drink and they'd watch some late night television show. Natsu could honestly say that he missed and wanted Gray.

Natsu went into his nightstand and got out his Xanax, he took two with a glob of spit and could taste what he had thrown up earlier. He curled his arm around Happy and huddled up to him. Natsu slept on the covers in his clothes and didn't turn the light off.

* * *

 _So I hoped you enjoyed. Review, favorite, and follow if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	6. An Empty Bottle

**Hey guys! New chapter! So I know this took a little while longer but it's up! And Gray is back, woo! I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy!**

* * *

Natsu had been staying in bed a lot during the week. Zeref had a long, boring (somewhat hurtful) talk with Natsu and basically he was grounded for two weeks. Only able to leave the house for school and Zeref had to pick him up from school to bring him home. At work, he'd make a call at around eight to check on him.

The only thing Natsu had been doing was drawn, sleep, smoke, listen to music, and jerk off. Of course he'd get a call from Gray, the first time Natsu missed going to the coffee shop Gray called to make sure he was okay. Natsu told him bits and pieces to tell him he was grounded. The talks were short but they were worth it. Zeref still worked late at night, Natsu could sneak out if he wanted to, but he wouldn't think about it. He'd already cause enough trouble.

Natsu had already watched most the movies in the house, listen to all his tapes, ran out of ideas for drawing, smoked all of his cigarettes and weed, and jerked off a disappointing amount of times that his hand would cramp. The house was becoming quiet again. So quiet it started to become loud, Natsu couldn't stand it. It was eight thirty and Zeref hadn't called yet, Natsu knew it wouldn't last for long. Natsu laid on his hip, his hand by his head. He had just woken up from a nap since he had nothing else to do. He scratched his arm lightly under the bandana on his arm to cover his mark. It hadn't hurt as much as it used to.

Natsu ran his fingers through his hair and nuzzled his forehead against his palm. Instantly he reached into the drawer and pulled out his bottle of Xanax and took two, drinking the stale water on his end table.

Natsu had on a black _Nirvana Bleach_ pullover with one sleeve up to the forearm. He didn't feel hungry for once. Nor did he have a craving for nicotine. He felt cold, different from how he should feel. It felt like the fire was burning out, it was probably from all the isolation. Natsu was all over the place, like a mess you put under the rug. Natsu sighed and plopped back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

He wanted a coffee. But he wouldn't be able to drink it all.

The living room phone rang, and Natsu quickly walked out to pull it off. He picked up the phone and put it to his ear.

"Yeah, hello?"

"Hey Natsu," Zeref greeted, "How are you?"

Natsu groaned and rubbed his eye, "Fine, fine."

"That's good to know. Finish your homework?"

"Yes, Zeref."

"Good boy, I'm going to be working late tonight again. Behave yourself, okay?"

"Yes, Zeref." Natsu pinched his brow. He sounded tired.

"Hey, it's only one more week of this and your home free. Then you can do anything reasonable you want to do again."

"Can I go now? I'm probably keeping you away from work."

"Yeah, I'll let you go. See you in the morning."

"Bye."

Natsu clicked the phone off and sat it back on the receiver. Immediately after the phone rang loudly again.

"Shit," Natsu shouted, surprised as he picked up the phone again, "Hello?"

"Natsu, hey," Gray said, "What's up?"

"Nothing, you just gave me a fucking fright."

"How could I have scared you? I just called you."

"Nightmares are usually scary," Natsu heard Gray chuckle, "What do you want?"

"I was calling up about to tell you I'm gonna be on my way to pick you up in a few minutes."

Natsu raised an eyebrow, "Pick me up? What the hell are you talking about?"

"The party, remember? It's tonight, I thought you'd be ungrounded by now."

"Ah, shit," Natsu rubbed his face and plopped down on the couch, "No, sorry, I should have told you. I got grounded for two weeks."

"Two weeks? What did you get into, young man?"

"Long story, daddy, and your 'young man' is a grown up basically."

"You're not much of one when you're getting grounded and shit, baby boy."

Natsu breathily laughed and shook his head, "I'm sorry I can't go, you'll be able to have fun without me won't you?"

"I don't think I'm really in the mood to go now. I wanted to see you in action at a party. What are you gonna do tonight?"

"I don't know. Maybe watch a Stanley Kubrick movie."

" _2001_?" Gray asked.

"Maybe."

 _I already watched it._

"Your brother care that you're on the phone while you're grounded?"

"He's not home," Natsu lifted up his head and leaned forward, having his arm on his leg, "Hey, do you want to come over? Since I can't go out, maybe you can come here. I would love to have my make out buddy around right now."

"If your brother isn't home why don't you sneak out and come to the party with me? I know you don't mind being a bad boy."

Natsu smiled, hearing how smooth Gray's words dripped out of his mouth. He could almost taste it on his lips.

"I've caused him enough trouble, and I'd only cause him a little trouble if someone just sneaked over. And besides, I'm all partied out."

Gray sighed, "Well, I wouldn't mind making out. I don't have to crawl through your bedroom window will I?"

"The front door should sific."

"Then I'm on my way. Later lil trouble maker."

"Bye, Gray."

* * *

Gray knocked on the door and Natsu opened it instantly, without even second guessing who it could be. Gray smiled widely.

"Damn, I almost forgot all about this face," Gray took his hand out of his pocket and tilted Natsu's chin up. He looked like how a dog looks after seeing its owner again, "How have you been?"

"I've been fine, ice cube," Natsu replied, he accepted the small kiss Gray gave him on the cheek. But that made him crave more, "Thanks for coming over."

Gray stepped in and looked around, "Yeah, no problem. So this is your little place," Gray slipped off his shoes and Natsu closed the door. Locking it as well, "I like it."

Natsu grabbed Gray's shoulders and shoved him back against the wall, Gray, wide eyed and pinned, could do nothing about it. Natsu pressed his lips firmly to Gray's and parted his lips already. Natsu's lips were bitten to hell, the skin torn from teeth peeling it off. Little cracks of blood still stayed. Gray closed his eyes after a moment and put his hands on Natsu's hips. Natsu pressed his chest against Gray's and curled his hands into fists on the wall. He felt so strange, only after a week without Gray and he was already attacking him with his lips. Gray slipped in his tongue and Natsu eagerly lapped his tongue over Gray's, the two of them moaned.

Natsu could feel the heat return back into his body. Something Xanax hadn't done for the past week. He needed something to keep his heart rate up.

Gray pulled back and panted quietly, "Well that's one helluva greeting," Gray smiled, " Does that mean you missed me?"

"And then some." Natsu lowly said, looking down at Gray's crotch, almost hungrily, Natsu kissed the crook of Gray's neck, his hands wandered down Gray's stomach. Gray tipped his head forward and grabbed Natsu's wrists.

"Hey, wait, cool your jets. We don't have any place we need to be at."

Gray leaned forward and caught Natsu's lips, kissing him more gently unlike how Natsu kissed him before. Natsu felt like he had to be quick, like he needed Gray to be hard and quick. But Gray wasn't like that. He was airy, like a gentle mist that grazed grass gently, making it only a touch damp. Natsu was that grass. Gray pulled back.

"That's better," Gray smiled after quelling Natsu, "Now how about we take this make out session to your room, yeah?"

"I don't want just a make out session, Gray," Natsu breathed against Gray's ear, "I wanna go further."

"Further?"

Natsu nibbled Gray's ear and pulled off, "I want you to have sex with me, Gray."

"Whoa, whoa, now you should really cool your jets." Gray moved back towards the wall more.

"How come? Don't you want to? Haven't you been waiting for something like this?"

"Well yeah, of course I have been but-"

"But- nothing then," Natsu interrupted, "Come on, Gray, I really do need you."

Gray bit his lip, he held Natsu's cheek. Natsu nuzzled his face against his palm, he looked so sweet. Less dead than he had been that week.

"How can I say no to that face?" Gray muttered.

Natsu kissed Gray's hand, "You can't. That's your thing. You like me too much to say no."

Gray swallowed, "Why don't you show me where your bedroom is, yeah?"

Natsu nodded and grabbed Gray's hand, leading him to his bedroom, Happy meowed at Gray in the hallway before Natsu opened the door.

"Well hi there little guy," Gray said, squatting down to pet Happy's head, "What's your name?"

"Happy, now can you please get your ass in my room?"

"Happy? How come his name is Happy?"

"Because he makes me happy, now stop dicking around with my cat and please let us get started on fucking."

"Hey I can take a minute to pet your cat," Gray glanced up, "You don't need to worry, I'll fuck you so well you won't even think I wasted time with your cat," Happy growled and chomped down on Gray's thumb, "Ow, bitch!" Gray exclaimed, pulling his hand back and rubbing the bite mark.

Happy hissed and ran down the hall. Gray raised an eyebrow, Natsu was giggling. Gray pouted and stood up.

"What was that all about?" Gray wondered.

"I don't think he likes knowing that a guy is coming over to have sex with me." Natsu replied, letting Gray step in his room.

"It wasn't even my intention to get laid, you're the one who started it."

Natsu grabbed Gray's collar and kissed him firmly, "And I'm gonna be the one to end it."

Gray put one hand on Natsu's waist, the other lingering to his ass. Natsu walked backwards and pulled Gray towards the bed, he laid on the bed while Gray was on top. Gray pressed his hips to Natsu's, Natsu gently hummed and pulled his lips away. Gray started to kiss Natsu's jaw and down his neck.

"You have a condom on you?" Gray asked.

"Yeah, in the end table drawer."

Gray licked Natsu's neck and nipped the skin.

"Don't leave a hickey, Zeref will know that someone was here."

"You wear that clunky scarf everyday, no one would know."

"Listen to me and do what I say, okay?"

Gray rolled his eyes and instead of leaving a mark, he moved his hand up Natsu's shirt. He could feel the ripples of his abs, and the smoothness of his creamy skin. Gray badly wanted to bite him. Just to know all of this was real. Natsu put his arms above his head and lightly panted, the chilling feel of Gray's hand always made him vulnerable. Like he had little fight in him, but in a good way. Natsu could take a break from the rush of the world, the speed of its rotation would just slow. Gray lifted up the pull over and let it rest at Natsu's chest, Gray ran his fingers down Natsu's sides. It caused Natsu to shiver and arch his back. Gray brushed his thumb over one of Natsu's nipples, the color was a faint pink, Gray couldn't help but smile when he saw the bar in Natsu's nipple.

"I swear, this is the cutest thing on you." Gray said, caressing a ball of the piercing.

"It's not that cute, it's only a piercing. You have one and I don't think it's adorable like you do."

Gray's grin only got wider, he leaned down and licked Natsu's nipple while his fingers pinched the other, "I have two, actually."

"I've never seen it, where is it?"

Gray didn't say anything, but wrap his lips around the tender skin and suck gingerly. Natsu turned his head and gasped, pressing his chest up against Gray's mouth. Gray swirled his tongue on the perked bud and bit down, Natsu moaned and bit his lip after. Gray moved his teeth to tug on the bar, it made Natsu squirm slightly.

"Don't, it's really sensitive." Natsu whined, breathily.

Gray let go and kissed Natsu's chest again, "It felt good though, didn't it? Why should it matter if you're sensitive."

"Because I said so."

"Oh come on, that's not a good reason."

"That's my reason," Natsu sat up and moved on his hands and knees and pushed Gray to lean back, "Now stop talking and let me suck your cock."

Gray breathed out and nodded, "Fuck yes. But could I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

Natsu started to unbuckle Gray's pants and pop off the buttons. He undid the zipper with his teeth.

"Could I prep you while you suck me off?"

Natsu shrugged, "I've never tried it before. I think I could let you do that. it sounds really hot actually," Natsu sat on his knees and leaned back towards the end table. He opened the drawer and shuffled in the drawer for the bottle of lube. Natsu got it and shook the bottle.

"No… No fucking way…," Natsu groaned, "You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

"Whoa, hey, what's wrong?"

"I'm all out of goddamn lube!" Natsu tossed the bottle hard towards the waste bucket, "I used it all up this fucking week."

"Wait, are you saying…." Gray snickered as he put the pieces together, "Oh my god, did you jerk off a lot this week?"

"Well of course I did, what else would I have done this week, huh? I'm fucking grounded," Natsu tussled his hair and growled, "Fucking hell, god fucking damnit."

"Whoa, it's alright."

"No it's not, I finally wanted to have sex with you and I use all the lube for my fucking hand."

Natsu started to grip the scarf on his arm, the bandage underneath was starting to irritate him. He wanted to scratch his skin off, tonight was supposed to bring him relief. Gray could still bring that to him. Gray held Natsu's wrist, Natsu looked at Gray's eyes.

Gray grabbed Natsu's jaw line and kissing him fast, "I've waited for a night like tonight too. But we can wait another day, flame brain," Gray heard Natsu giggle as he shook his head, "I'll still take care of you."

Natsu sighed and ran his fingers back in his hair, "I guess you're right. You're fine with a blow job, yeah?"

"More than fine with a blow job." Gray grinned.

Natsu moved back down and rubbed the outside of Gray's boxers. Gray tipped back his head and already moved against Natsu's hand. Natsu kept his eyes focused on Gray's crotch and put his mouth over the fabric of Gray's boxers and pulled down the boxers by his teeth. Gray inhaled deeply,Natsu blinked and looked at Gray.

"Oh...So… This is the piercing you were talking about?" Natsu asked.

"Yeah, that's the other piercing."

"You know, I've never met a guy with a head piercing before," Natsu flattened his tongue against the base and licked up, "When did you get this?"

"Well, um, You remember when I told you about my tattoo? Well, apparently, if you got a tattoo that day with a piercing you got half off the tattoo."

"Why didn't you just pierce your ears or something?"

"That was the catch, the deal was it had to be a genital piercing. It was kind of a sketchy place. They thought no one would do it."

"Until you walked in the door that is."

"Well if I didn't have to pay full price for a tattoo I wasn't gonna."

Natsu put his lips to the tip and let spit start to collect. He let his tongue swirl around the head, licking the barbells on Gray's piercing. Natsu opened his mouth and sucked the head, a small amount of drool started to drip down the shaft. Gray lightly laughed and gripped Natsu's hair.

"You're a messy little cock sucker aren't you?"

Natsu looked up, his cheeks were slightly flushed. He turned his head to the side and licked the length, catching the droplets of spit with a moan.

"If I'm not messy that means I didn't do a good job."

Natsu put Gray's member in his mouth and started to bob his head. Gray groaned and balled Natsu's hair tighter. As Natsu moistened the shaft, he started to slowly stroke him. Natsu's mouth was hot, his silk spit was cozy. All Gray could think was:

 _This is more than fucking amazing._

Natsu moved his mouth faster, Gray moaned and moved his hips up. He pushed back Natsu's bangs. Natsu glanced up at Gray, his eyes were half-lidded. Natsu looked so eager to please, or he got too much enjoyment from getting Gray off. Natsu bobbed his head deeper, going along with the rocks of Gray's hips. After a few moments, Natsu pulled off, he laid his cheek on Gray's thigh and panted hard, stroking Gray as he caught his breath. Gray ran his thumb over Natsu's glossy lip, Natsu closed his eyes and sucked tenderly. Gray chewed his cheek, his dick twitched in anticipation for Natsu again. Natsu put his lips to the shaft and sucked the side, muffling a moan. Natsu wiggled his hips before going back to sucking Gray's cock.

Gray but his hands to the side of Natsu's head, making him go down lower. Natsu whined.

"Come on, I know you can take me deeper, Natsu."

Natsu glared and was determined to take Gray down all the way, he swallowed. Gray moaned and thrusted up his hips, making sure Natsu kept his head down. Natsu kept shifting his weight over on his knees again and again before he had to pull off, he gasped with saliva connected together in his mouth.

"Are you sure we can't have sex? I think you can make me slick enough."

"No way," Natsu mumbled, "I've tried that once before and I'm not doing it again."

Natsu tried to adjust himself and grunted as he did so, Gray pressed his hand to Natsu's crotch.

"Wow, you are incredibly hard," Gray said, "Do you really get turned on by sucking me off?"

Natsu pouted and turned his head away. Gray smiled, smugly, "How about we get your pants off so you're not uncomfortable." Gray suggested.

Gray unbuttoned Natsu's pants and lowered the down. Natsu leaned back and let Gray take off his pants. Natsu wore navy briefs, he batted Gray's hands away and pulled his sweater down between his legs.

"Don't look, bastard."

Gray chuckled and kissed Natsu, telling him without words that he didn't need to be embarrassed. Gray put his hand over the bandana and looked down.

"What is this stupid thing for?" Gray asked.

"Oh, this? I'm trying to make a new fashion statement. It'll be all the rage soon. Now shut up and let me get back to work."

Natsu pushed on Gray's chest and quickly wrapped his lips around and bobbed his head, deep and fast.

"Oh fuck, Natsu." Gray gasped and moaned out.

Natsu licked the swollen head and moved back down. The piercing started to hurt his throat, barely though. He could stand it, the sporadic rocks of Gray's thrusts started to interfere with his bobs. But he couldn't get enough of it, Natsu turned his knees inward and could feel the drips of precum on his thigh, he blushed. Natsu's warm breath cloaked Gray's cock, Gray gripped the sheets and grit his teeth. Gray parted his lips but no noise came out, he came without any warning. Natsu swallowed and pulled off, his mouth wide open panting heavily. Gray laid back on the bed breathing deeply.

"Shit, that felt so good." Gray threw his arm over his face.

Natsu crawled on top of Gray's hips, their lips minimally apart. Natsu leaned forward and took off his underwear.

"You still have to take care of me, Gray." Natsu said, whispering almost.

"Don't worry," Gray lifted up Natsu's chin, "I wouldn't forget about you."

Gray moved his hand to Natsu's member, and started to stroke Natsu with little effort. Natsu arched his back and moaned, rolling his lower stomach into Gray's hand. Natsu moaned while Gray moved to the crease of Natsu's neck and started to kiss. Gray tried to keep up the pace of Natsu's hips, Natsu groaned, he bucked up his hips. His breathing hitched as he soon came, moaning loudly.

Gray smirked and pulled back, "That was quick."

"Don't get cocky," Natsu said, tapping his nose,"I've been holding that in for awhile."

"Awhile? How often do you get off on sucking people off?"

"Not often enough," Natsu moved off and leaned over for a tissue and cleaned up his stomach, "Go clean up in my bathroom. Down the hall, to the left."

Gray nodded and put on his boxers, buttoning up his pants after. Gray turned around and kissed Natsu's nose, he patted his cheek before walking off to the bathroom. Natsu tightened the small scarf around his arm again and straighten out his pull over, he rolled up his sleeve and dressed himself again. He needed to renew that bandage, Natsu could feel puss building up again. Natsu wish it would scab over already.

Gray returned after washing up and taking a piss. He instantly fell on the bed, stomach first and snuggled his face against a pillow. It smelled like old drool and Natsu's hair.

"I need a nap." Gray muttered.

"You can't take one here," Natsu said, "I didn't know a blow job could take so much out of you."

"Your brother is working late, yeah? I can sneak out before he gets home. I promise I can."

"Gray, no, you gotta get out of here. You don't have time to take a nap."

Gray pulled Natsu down and into his chest, "Then how about I stay here for a while and be with you. I won't fall asleep, I'll just hold you."

"Gray…" Natsu trailed.

Gray smelled a bit musty along with his peppermint-like scent. Natsu felt Gray's arms tighten up around him, fingertips delicately making patterns on Natsu's back. He felt the imprint of Gray's chin on the top of his head. He'd never been held like this. With comfort and care such as this. Natsu gripped Gray's shirt and pressed his forehead to Gray's chest.

"Just an hour, then you have to go."

* * *

And Natsu felt jittery when he woke up. He couldn't remember how the night ended. He only remembered Gray talking in a mild whisper, lulling into a purposeful slumber. But he wasn't in the bed. That meant Gray must have left. Natsu didn't know where this energy came from, he had fallen asleep in the same clothes from before, the scarf hanging around his wrist, he took it off. Natsu took his Xanax and went to the bathroom.

Natsu made sure no marks were visible in the mirror. Nothing. Natsu used the bathroom and poured peroxide on his wound. It was getting smaller, that was a relief. Natsu rewrapped it and walked out of the bathroom. Happy didn't greet him at his feet which was odd. He could hear laughter in the livingroom. Zeref, obviously. He must have been chatting with someone on the phone. Natsu shrugged it off and walked to the hall to the kitchen. There, he was met with another person's laugh and voice.

"Oh god," Natsu said under his breath and rushed into the livingroom, "Gray?!"

Gray flipped his head to look at Natsu and smiled, "Hey, you're up. Morning."

"Good morning, Natsu. I see you had company last night," Zeref said, a mug of coffee in his hand, "So this is the guy who picked you up from Lucy's party?"

"Zeref, I'm so-"

"We were just talking about our favorite _Beatles_ member," Gray interrupted "I wouldn't have taken your brother as a Ringo fan. I was thinking more of a George guy."

"I told you that no one ever remembers George. Ringo is just my favorite," Zeref took a sip of coffee, "I thought you'd like Paul."

"Ah screw Paul, John is my man."

Zeref chuckled and sighed, a soft smile on his face. Natsu couldn't be anymore confused. He grabbed Gray's forearm and pulled him out of the recliner.

"Uh, hey! Don't be grabby!"

"I'll just be a minute," Natsu said, "I need to talk to Gray."

"Take your time." Zeref said.

Natsu dragged Gray into the kitchen and shoved him against the wall.

"What the hell!" Natsu said, aggravated, "I told you yesterday you had to leave, what happened?"

"Well, I fell asleep after you," Gray began, rubbing his arm, "And I woke up pretty early so I thought I had a chance to sneak out, but then your brother was making coffee and he saw me. He's actually a pretty cool guy, he's into the same music I'm into."

"Zeref isn't cool, what did he say when he saw you?"

"He obviously said 'Please don't hurt me, money is on the counter.'"

"What did he really say, dickhead."

"He just asked who I was and why I was there. I told him I just stayed over and fell asleep. He took it pretty well I think-" Natsu punched Gray in the arm, "Ow- will you stop punching me in the goddamn arm?!"

"You should have listen to me when I said you had to leave, now I'm pissed off at you, stripper."

Natsu was about to swing again but Gray caught his wrist, he turned to where Natsu was pinned against the wall.

"You have to stop getting mad like this, you're fine, he doesn't even seem to care that I came over. Stop worrying and stop hitting me," Gray looked over at Natsu's arm. The bandage was in clear sight. A worried look came over Gray, "What happened to you?"

Natsu pulled away from Gray and glared as he passed by, "Maybe you're right, maybe Zeref isn't mad. I may be getting worked up over nothing," Natsu pulled down his sleeve, "But that doesn't mean it's okay for you to not listen to me when I say you need to leave."

"It was an accident, Natsu," Gray said, putting his hands on Natsu's shoulders, kissing behind his ear. He forgot about the wrap and tried to quell Natsu,"I didn't want to fall asleep, but I didn't want to wake you up."

"Are you saying some of this is my fault?" Natsu asked, raising an eyebrow.

No, no," Gray paused, "Well, okay maybe a little."

"Screw off," Natsu said and pushed Gray away. Gray laughed, Natsu started to cool off, "Is there still coffee?"

Gray shook his head, "I'll brew some and bring you out a mug. You go back to the living room and talk to your brother."

Natsu swallowed and walked out of the kitchen without a word. He took in a smooth, deep breath and looked over at Zeref. He was just finishing up the last bit of coffee and sighed.

"I have to say, Natsu," Zeref began, "Your boyfriend knows how to make a good cup of coffee. I guess that's what happens when you you work at a coffee shop, huh?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Oh? Then you snuck a cute boy like him to just watch movies and shoot shit together?"

"Well… Let's say he's a… well…" Natsu trailed, "What is he?"

"Your boyfriend." Zeref repeated.

"No, he's a… How do I say this… A make out buddy to put it bluntly."

"Make out buddy?" Zeref shrugged, "Whatever he is, I like him."

"You do?" Natsu perked up and sat down in the chair, "Does that mean you aren't pissed off at me for having him over?"

"I guess not. You got lucky this time. He seems like a nice guy. Just wait until your ungrounded to have him over next time."

"Uh, yeah sure…" Natsu still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact Zeref was okay with the whole situation, "So, I'm not in trouble?"

"Afraid not. Unless you want to be."

"No, no!" Natsu waved his hands, "I'm fine with this."

"Good," Zeref said, "How's the arm doing?"

"It's better. I think It's small-"

Natsu bit his tongue as Gray walked in with a cup of coffee and Happy trying to trip him. Zeref knew to stay quiet.

"Dammit, Happy knock it off," Gray gritted, "I don't think your cat likes me much." Gray handed Natsu his coffee while Happy hopped on Natsu's lap.

"Nah, he's just playing around," Natsu rubbed Happy's head, "Isn't that right, buddy?"

" _Playing_ my ass,I think he wants to kill me," Gray walked over to the couch and sat down next to Zeref, "So as we were saying, favorite album by the the _Beatles?_ "

"Crap, that's hard. Maybe _Yellow Submarine_ or _Help!_ I can't decide."

"Those two are really good. What about _Abbey Road_?"

"Man, that just makes it even harder now."

As Zeref and Gray chatted, Natsu watched, sipping his hot coffee and petting Happy. It was odd, awkward even. Natsu had never had a boy stay over and meet Zeref. He didn't let Zeref meet boys, he only let Zeref hear about them and see tiny traces of their remains. Even guy friends he wouldn't have over, he'd always hangout with them somewhere else. It was almost awkward seeing Zeref just having small talk. Especially Gray. Natsu tugged at his sleeve. Desperate to scratch his arm.

Instead he listened to Gray and Zeref in silence.

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, favorite, and follow if you did. It helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	7. Strawberry Lemonade, Baby

**Hey guys! New chapter woohoo! And it's about to get mega sexy in here, get excited! I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

Natsu had never been so excited for coffee. Or maybe it was just the fact he was finally able to get out again this week and the smallest trip was invigorating. He sat in his normal booth that had been empty for two weeks, the plastic cushioning felt cold. The table was full of his normal items, his coffee cup, muffin, note book, and mechanical looked so familiar to him, everything seemed familiar. The smell of cream and hazelnut blend filled the shop, it was September, fall flavors were slowly sneaking their way into people's drinks. It was Tuesday, and during the night, Gray was the only one working.

Gray was happy to see the space filled again. Gray wanted to kiss his cheek and nuzzled in Natsu's scarf. He hadn't seen Natsu since last week, and seeing him now made him feel withdrawal, even being able to see him. That made his want grow. As lines of young ladies and few guys started to shrink, Gray was hurrying for the night to become slow. Natsu didn't seem to notice anyone, he had his headphones on, humming along to the instrumental of _Come as You Are_ , sipping his coffee as he scribbled the outline of Mirajane's wings. From the past two weeks, he noticed he was better at drawing women than men. He was tickled by the feeling of freedom once again. It was about eight, no call from Zeref (refreshing) and the coffee house was starting to become smaller. Gray was finally able to sneak away from behind the counter, right before getting another coffee for Natsu. He sat the cup on the table, Natsu looked up and saw a big smile on Gray's waved up and pulled down his head phones.

"Hey!" Natsu said, rather was odd. Different than his snarky tone.

"Hey flame brain," Gray replied, leaning on the table, "What are you drawing today, Mr. Van Gogh?"

"Van Gogh was famous for paintings, not his sketches. I'm drawing a friend."

"If that's what your friends look like, we should have a talk about your choice in friends."

"Does that mean I'd have to get rid of you too?" Natsu asked.

"Who is she?"

"Mirajane," Natsu rubbed his finger on the paper to shade, "She doesn't look like this, she's rather cute."

"She looks pretty sexy here," Gray put his hand on his cheek and bent over, "Are her tits that big in real life?"

"Don't say stuff like that. My friends are not _sexy._ And yes, she's rather big breasted."

"Is that jealousy I hear?" Gray grinned.

"Do you want a piece of gum? Because there's bullshit in your breath."

Gray chuckled and put his hand on Natsu's shoulder, subtle touches were all he could do while he was at work. He missed that cheekiness in Natsu.

"I'm going out tonight with a few friends, wanna come along? Your drinks will be on me since it's like a celebration since you're ungrounded now."

"I thought you were nineteen, you can't get into bars yet."

"I have my ways," Gray shrugged, "You in?"

"How am I supposed to get in?"

"You have a fake I.D yeah?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Just a hunch."

Natsu puffed out his bottom lip, "Yeah, I have one," Natsu mumbled, "I get free drinks too?"

Gray nodded, "All on me."

"Do we get to make out in your truck before then?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Natsu took a sip of his coffee and turned to look at Gray, he licked his upper lip, "Just have me home by twelve and you got yourself a deal."

Gray smiled and leaned close to Natsu's ear, "Should I take a smoke break and we have an early makeout session." Gray whispered.

Natsu smirked and bit his bottom lip, "You sure you don't want a cigarette?"

"You're better than nicotine," Gray pressed his lips softly to Natsu's ear, "And you're more addictive and more satisfying."

Natsu shrugged up his shoulders with a breathy laugh. He heard the bell above the door ring. Gray clicked his tongue and pulled back.

"Let me take care of these girls and I'll take my smoke break."

"Can't wait," Natsu looked over at the people who walked in, his eyes widen,"Oh shit." He breathed under his breath, hoping it would turn him invisible. Of course, that didn't happen.

He slouched his back and buried his head inches away from the paper and rapidly started to sketch. Why was he so nervous? It was his friends, he had nothing to worry about. Natsu knew why, it was all because of that stupid princess. Lucy was giggling over something Erza said as the walked to the counter, catching a glance at Natsu's unique hair, Lucy waved.

"Natsu! Hey, fancy seeing you here!" Lucy called, walking over to Natsu quickly.

Natsu licked his lips and slightly smiled, "Hey,Luc. Hey, Erza," Natsu said, "What are you guys doing here?"

"We're getting some coffee. Erza is helping me study for a history test."

"What are you doing here?" Erza asked.

"Oh, he's here for his little boyfriend," Lucy chimed. "Boyfriend? No one told me about Natsu having a boyfriend?"

"Where's he at anyway?"

"He's not my boyfriend and he's at the counter. He's waiting for you two to order drinks," Natsu found himself speaking in a hushed tone, "He wants to take a smoke break soon so get up there."

"Oh! That's him?" Lucy asked, pointing over at Gray, "He is cute. Damn."

Natsu grabbed her wrist and stood up, "Don't point at him," Natsu gritted and pulled his hand away, "I don't want to draw attention right now."

"Why not?" Erza said, stepping forward. Her plaid button up was around her waist, revealing her toned arms her muscle shirt showed, she flexed unintentionally after how harsh Natsu sounded, "Are you embarrassed by your friends or something." She glared

"No! No of course not Erza," Natsu said, "It's just... Awkward…"

"Awkward?" Lucy questioned, her voice went soft, "Hey, Erza," She quickly got out her wallet and got out ten dollars "Can you order me chai tea latte please? Your drink is on me."

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I can pay for my own drink." Erza replied and walked to the counter.

Natsu sat back down while Lucy slide in the booth across from him.

"Okay, talk to me. Why is this awkward? We'll just say hi and then study in a corner for an hour."

"I mean. I've never introduced you to someone like this before…" Natsu muttered, "Think about it, Luc. I've never even introduce you to a guy I've been interested in. It makes me feel kinda weird. And with Erza here, it's worse," Natsu pushed back his bangs, and rubbed his sleeve, "I haven't told anyone else about Gray except for you and Zeref, Lucy."

Natsu felt stupid. He was seventeen, he never had a boyfriend before. Only having one night stands or week long fuck-buddies that never stayed longer than eight days. And even though Gray wasn't his boyfriend, Natsu thought of him more than some fling. He didn't know how to deal with it. Really, he didn't want anyone to know about Gray, Natsu wanted to keep Gray as an idea to his friends and brother. Like an implanted dream made up by Natsu's descriptions. But Gray was real, not something crafted from thin air. He was a person who had feelings, a mind of his own, his own life, and even his own thoughts on Natsu's friends. Lucy reached over for Natsu's scratching hand and held it.

"Hey, I get how this is strange for you. I hadn't real thought about your relationships before. I'll tread lightly. I'll even leave after I get coffee with Erza if you want."

Lucy's smiled was gentle. Inviting. Natsu sighed through his nose, "It's okay. You can stay here. Maybe it would be okay if you said hi or something. I have told him about you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, I drew you here once with a bull-guy and Gray asked who it was in the drawing. We had a long conversation about you. He seemed like he wanted to know about you."

Lucy grinned, "Really?" Lucy looked over at the counter. Erza was chatting with Gray still, he was smiling but he looked worried. Intimidated even, "I have to talk to him now, is he allowed to come over here?"

Natsu nodded, "As long as no one needs anything, yeah. He usually talks to me after."

"Aw, how cute."

"Bite me," Natsu sighed, Erza started to walk back with drinks in her hands and a muffin, "Go up and say hi and see if he'll come over here."

Lucy curved her lips up and bounced over to the counter, she briefly talked to Erza halfway and then they went their separate ways. Erza sat down across from where Lucy used to sit. Natsu started to pack up his paper in his bag, Erza slide Natsu a chocolate chip muffin.

"He knew you would want one," Erza said, "He seems like a really nice guy."

"Yeah, when he's not being a tool bag I guess," Erza kicked Natsu's shin rather hard, he seethed, "Ouch! Hey!"

"Don't talk about your 'friend' like that."

"Don't kick me with those god awful boots."

"I'll give you one second to take back what you just said about my boots."

Natsu swallowed and straightened up, "Sorry," Natsu mumbled, "So what did you say to Gray?"

"Nothing much," Erza took off her lid and added some sweetener, "Just my order and that I was your friend. How long he knew you, and that if he hurt you his head would be on my wall." She blew the steam away and took a sip.

"Erza!" Natsu exclaimed, wided eyed. He lowered his voice after he saw Gray look back at him. Natsu blushed slightly from his outburst, "You can't say stuff like that to him! You'll have him freaked out."

"I just thought I would give him some good information. You know, if your are going to be in a relationship with him."

Natsu rubbed his eyes and scarfed down a bit of his muffin, "Christ, Erza. You're gonna make him a nervous wreck."

"Have to keep them on their toes."

"You're not the person to keep him on his toes." Natsu mumbled over crumbs before he swallowed.

"I think you should date him. I think he'd be a nice change for you."

"Change? I don't need change. I'm fine with me right now."

"See, that's the thing, Natsu, you're just _fine_ with yourself. Not happy, not proud, you're just fine."

"You know it's hard for me to not be fine." Natsu reminded, not making eye contact anymore.

"Think about it, if you weren't here right now, what would you be doing?"

Natsu chewed his cheek and said nothing. He tapped his finger on the table top and only nibbled his inner skin. Lucy came back, Gray tagging along behind her. She slid in the seat next to Erza and Gray sat next to Natsu, Lucy couldn't sit still in her seat. Everyone waited for someone to say the first word.

"Natsu, why didn't you ever tell me Gray was into writing?" Lucy asked.

"Well, maybe if I did know I would have told you. You write?"

"I have a band, dummy. I help write songs all the ti-" A loud thud came from under the table, Gray bit his lip and gripped his knee, "Fuck, I didn't mean to call you a dummy."

"Say you're sorry." Erza said.

"Sorry, Natsu."

"Erza stop kicking people or I'll kick your ass." Natsu said.

"I won't assist in your suicide, I can go to jail for that." Erza replied.

Lucy took a sip of her latte, "Apparently he takes a creative writing class."

Gray nodded, "If you want I could take you to a class. Then if you like it we can sign you up."

"Oh that sounds wonderful! I love to write…. But that doesn't mean I'm any good at it."

"I could always look over something you've written."

"No, no, no! No way in hell, I'd be way too embarrassed."

"Don't take that too harshly, she never lets anyone read her stories. I think she's afraid of feedback." Erza said.

"Shut up, I am not!"

Gray giggled as the two boy's listened to the girls corral, Natsu's grip on Gray's hand under the table didn't loosen. Gray slowly locked his fingers with Natsu's, rubbing his thumb over Natsu's knuckle, signaling everything was okay. Natsu felt like the blood in his body was flowing at an escalating rate. He could taste iron in his mouth. Natsu bit his thumb nail while everyone seemed to interject their part except for him. They all seemed to enjoy themselves, even Natsu caught himself smiling a few times here and there. Having Gray meet a few friends wasn't so bad was it?

Then why was he so tense?

* * *

After an hour, Erza and Lucy left, not even looking at a textbook but trying to crack open Gray instead. Natsu couldn't wait to get a few drinks in him. Natsu was now waiting for Gray to come out from the bathroom. He sat on the counter, eyes closed, listening to his tape. Volume up loud to uncloud his mind, even though his day hadn't been stressful. And he knew he had over reacted about seeing Erza and Lucy, but that didn't mean he could stop the feeling. Gray bent down and pressed his lips to Natsu's, making Natsu open his eyes and smile, he pulled off his headphones. Gray had changed his outfit. He had in his eyebrow stud in, he had on a black tee shirt with a black long sleeved shirt underneath and olive skinny jeans with rips in them. Gray pulled his backpack strap on his shoulder.

"Ready to go?" Gray asked.

"I've been ready. I was only waiting on your slow ass."

"I have to make sure I look good, I have to look better than everyone else or someone might steal you away from me."

"Oh come on, I'm harder than that to get," Natsu said and hopped off the counter, "Let's get going already."

Gray tapped Natsu's ass before slipping his hand in Natsu's back pocket. He shut the lights off to the building, Natsu smirked and moved into Gray's side as he opened the coffee shop door. This was what he wanted since Gray had brought up he could take a break to make out, but later they were interrupted. The truck's door was already unlocked. The two hopped in the car and Gray got out his keys.

"So, how was it?" Natsu asked.

"I think you have nice friends," Gray didn't have to have Natsu tell him what the _it_ was. He already knew, "Lucy seems sweet and Erza made me nearly piss myself. But I like her."

Natsu slightly laughed, "Yeah, she has a tendency of being a little intimidating. They like you."

"Yeah?" Gray started up the truck and looked behind him to pull out of the parking lot, "I tried to be on my best behaviour for them."

"Don't worry, you were a good boy. So where are we going?"

"Just a bar up the road." Gray said.

"Do you mean _The Mage_?"

Gray nodded, "That's the one. You'll probably want to get your I.D out. They're strict about checking there."

"So who am I going to be meeting there?"

"Well, Lyon will definitely be there. My mate Loke-"

"Loke? Like the one of those mythological gods?"

"His real name isn't Loke, dumbass it's just a nickname and it's a Norse god. Then it's just Lyon's friend Sherry."

"Hmm," Natsu hummed, getting out his I.D, putting it in his back pocket for easy access ,"That's not too bad."

"It's just three people, hell you know one of them already. You'll have fun, I know you will. And afterwards," Gray moved his hand to Natsu's thigh and squeezed, "Maybe you can come to my place."  
Natsu brushed the tip of his tongue on the bottom of his top teeth, "It's a school night. I don't know if I should."

"I'll have you back home by twelve. Don't worry," Gray stopped at a red light and leaned over to kiss Natsu's shoulder, moving his lips to Natsu's neck, Natsu lowly laughed and shrugged, "And maybe we could try again like last time."

Natsu turned his head, "The light is green."

Gray sat back up and started to drive again, "So what about it? Will you come back to my place for a bit?"

"I'll think about it." Natsu said.

* * *

After ten minutes, Gray drove up into the parking lot of the bar. Almost half the spots were filled with cars. People looked almost half dead smoking outside of the building. Natsu was pretty sure it was because they were going through a phase. Gray pulled out his pack and handed Natsu a cigarette as the walked into the bar, one hanging out of his mouth. Natsu shook his head and passed up the smoke. Gray lit his cigarette and took a drag, opening the door for Natsu.

"Thanks." Natsu said.

"Mmh."

Gray put his arm around Natsu's shoulders and looked around for Lyon or just someone he recognized. The music wasn't blaring, just loud enough to where people could talk over it. It was some older eighties song that Natsu didn't recognize. Gray waved his hand and grinned with his cigarette hanging between his teeth. Natsu saw Lyon walk over with a girl with dark pink icing hair sucking down a frilly drink with a straw staying seated. Lyon wore a button up and blue jeans.

"Hey, Gray," Lyon greeted, they slapped each other's hands and fist bumped afterward, "Good to see you, thanks for joining us tonight"

"Yeah, no problem. And I'm good, thanks for asking."

"Where's Loke at?" Gray asked.

"Bathroom. Had to freshen up." Lyon said.

"Sounds like something he'd be doing," Gray said and pat Natsu's back, "I'll meet you at the bar, I'm going to say hi to Sherry first."

Natsu nodded, "Get me a beer while you're up there, yeah?" Lyon said

"Sure."

Gray pulled his arm off of Natsu and walked back with Lyon. Natsu passed through small groups of people. Chatting with drinks in their hands, seeming like they were having an enjoyable time. But those who were lonely or seeking to score, those were the ones first at the bar. Natsu hopped up on the bar stool and crossed his arm on the counter, pulling out his I.D. The young lady behind the bar was cleaning and putting glasses on the shelf. She had her wavy hair pulled up, she wore a blue belly shirt and black pants, she put her hands on her hips as she looked at her glass wall.

"Um, excuse me?" Natsu called

She groaned and turned around, Natsu perked up. They young lady smiled.

"Well if it isn't baby face," Cana said, "Hopping around for drinks and such I see."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Working, duh. Sometimes I work at raves for some extra cash. But here is where I make my bread. The real question is why are you here?"

"I came with a friend," Natsu looked behind him and saw Gray grinning, Natsu pointed over at him, "There he is."

Gray towered over Natsu and put his chin on his shoulder, "Hey, Cana, I didn't know you'd be working tonight."

"I work all the time don't you know?"

"That's true."

"Wait, you know each other?" Natsu asked.

"Well yeah, Cana let's me get drinks here."

"Just because he's responsible. Unlike someone. What can I get for you and your underage boy-toy?" Cana said

"Hey, I'm no-"

"I'll have two beers and a strawberry lemonade." Gray interrupted.

"Oh, did that one girl want a lemonade?" Natsu asked.

"No Sherry has a cocktail," Gray said, "The strawberry lemonade is for you."

"What?! The hell do you mean it's for me?"

"He's a fiery one isn't he?" Cana smirked.

"That's no fair, you said you'd buy me drinks."

"A strawberry lemonade is a drink. I can't buy you a beer here now. I might get Cana in trouble since she knows you apparently. She's given me drinks before, I don't want to get her fired for serving you. Then who will give me a hook up?"

"You really are my favorite minor, Gray." Cana said

"This is such shit. If I knew this was what I was getting into I would have never came." Natsu huffed, pouting after.

Gray gave Natsu a big kiss on the cheek, "Don't be a sour puss."

Cana came back with two bottles of beer and a strawberry lemonade in a tall glass. Two plump strawberries floated on the top of the ice cubes. The red syrup stayed on the bottom and the crisp yellow lemonade splashed with it.

"Here you guys go,"Canna said, "Oh, and Natsu, I made sure I gave you a bendy straw."

Natsu twitched his upper lip, "How nice of you."

"Anytime."

* * *

Gray tasted like beer and Natsu felt like an alcoholic who had been on the wagon for months. He wanted to overdose on Gray's mouth. Nats wanted to lick the beads of beer off Gray's bottom lip to get the taste of lemonade out of his mouth. He needed something bad.

The whole night, Natsu wasn't in the mood to talk but he did anyway. He enjoyed meeting Loke and Sherry, he just wish he payed attention to them more. But they were back round noise, he was annoyed with the fact Gray only held his hand and wouldn't let him take sips of his drink. He wouldn't even let him bum a cigarette when he asked him. Natsu became really pissed when Gray would smoke in front of him, exhaling rings and smooth drags. What really bugged Natsu, was how much he wanted Gray because of it.

Gray and Natsu left at ten while everyone else stayed for a while longer. Natsu insisted now that he went to Gray's house. Gray only grinned, wickedly, and agreed. In the car Gray played _Elvis_ in the car with the windows rolled down, driving too fast with a cigarette in his hand. Natsu kept biting his thumb, itching at his arm here and there.

Gray unlocked the door and slipped off his shoes, Natsu doing the same and seating down his bag.

"Well that was a fun time," Gray said, stretching and plopping on the couch with his legs out on the cushions, "Did you have fun?"

Natsu didn't say anything but sat down on Gray's lap, draping his arms around Gray's neck. Gray smirked and rested his hands on Natsu's hip, his other arm on the arm rest. He leaned up. They both knew what was going to happen if Natsu went to Gray's house.

"Did you have fun, baby?" Gray asked.

Gray's words made Natsu shiver. He sounded like he meant it.

"I did, but I would have had more fun if you let me drank, or had a smoke or let me have my music on in the car."

"But you said you had fun even without it."

Natsu pressed his lips to Gray's, the two parted their lips. Natsu kissed harder, Gray ran his hand up Natsu's back. Touching Natsu's skin, Natsu pulled back and kissed down Gray's neck. Gray tipped back his head.

"Fuck, you're eager aren't you?" Gray said.

"It's all because of fucking you," Natsu breathed against Gray's neck, "You're the one who does this shit to me."

Gray bit his lip and smirked, "I like hearing that."

Natsu pushed Gray's shirt up and rolled rolled his hips against Gray's. Gray groaned and gripped Natsu's hips, Natsu pulled off Gray's shirt and rolled up his own shirt. A small bandaged on his arm still. Gray didn't say anything about it.

"Here, make yourself useful while I get you hard." Natsu said, undoing the belt on Gray's pants.

"Oh fuck yeah," Gray smiled and kissed the center of Natsu's neck, pulling him in close, "I like what I do to you to make you like this."

Natsu ran his hand down in Gray's pants and rubbed the outside of his crotch. Gray brushed his bottom lip on Natsu's peck. Wrapping his lips down on Natsu's pierced nipple and started to suck. Natsu moaned, airy and pressed his chest up. Running his fingers through Gray's hair. Gray flicked his tongue and swirled a few times, Gray wiggled his hips slightly against Natsu's hand. Natsu lowered Gray's boxers slightly and raised his hand to his mouth. He collected enough spit in his mouth and let the saliva drip into his palm.

Natsu wrapped his hand around Gray's cock and started to stroke. Gray closed his eyes and gently bit down on Natsu lowered his head and slightly smiled.

"You're already getting hard in my hand," Natsu ran his thumb over the tip, feeling a drop of precum, "Are you getting hard from me touching you, or from you touching me?"

Gray pulled Natsu's hand up and gripped his ass. He struggled to stand up from the ache in his groin, Natsu gasped.

"Gray, what are y-"

Gray pressed his lips to Natsu's, densely to keep quiet. Natsu sunk into the kiss and tightened his legs around Gray's waist as Gray began to walk down the hall. He kicked open his door and dropped Natsu on the bed. Natsu legs hung on the edge of the bed, Gray sat on his knees and kissed Natsu's stomach. Natsu raised his head and opened his mouth, gazing at Gray, he looked like he was hungry. Gray unzipped Natsu's pants, pulling them off roughly. Along with his underwear. Gray stood up, "Roll on your stomach." Gray said.

Natsu compiled and turned over, his back curved and his knees turned inward. Gray slapped his hands on Natsu's ass, Natsu picked his head up and moaned, curling his toes. Gray kissed one of Natsu's cheeks "I only put my hands on your ass," Gray mumbled, "You into stuff like that?"

"An ass slap always feels good."

Gray smiled before licking his entrance, spreading Natsu's ass more. Natsu tilted back his head and pushed his bangs back. Gray did small circles before pressing in his tongue, Natsu whimpered and pushed his ass back.

"Gray, fuck that feels good." Natsu groaned.

Gray pulled back, his tongue dripped as he softly panted.

"Do you think you can reach over and get the lube and a condom for me from the drawer over there?"

Natsu nodded and stretched his arm over, Gray moved his mouth back and started to lick again. Natsu tried not to notice the shaking in his legs as he got the bottle and ripped off a condom.

"Here, take it, take it already." Natsu gritted holding everything back for Gray.

"Too good for you already?"

"Shut the fuck up and get ready to fuck me."

Gray laughed and got up, taking off his pants and boxers. Gray opened the condom and rolled it over his cock. Natsu bit his lip and gripped the sheets. He was ready for this, he had been ready for this. So why couldn't he stop shaking? Gray leaned down and kissed the back of his neck.

"Hey, you're okay, yeah?" Gray whispered, "If you're having second thoughts we don't have to do this."

"No, I'm okay. I'm ready. I've been ready."

Gray buried his head in the crook of Natsu's neck. Natsu smelled the cigarette smoke in Gray's hair. Gray spread Natsu's legs apart and slowly pressed in, Natsu closed his eyes. His breathing hitched, Natsu lowered his head and closed his eyes. Natsu tensed up his stomach, but his wanted to relax so badly. Gray felt so good, his head piercing was what really got Natsu. Gray started to rock, hearing small gasps and little moans.

Natsu gripped the sheets and pressed his face against the mattress, Gray gripped one of Natsu's hips and brought him back, moving back with his thrusts. Natsu moaned loudly against the sheets.

"Lift your head up, I want to be able to hear you."

"Fuck...Off," Natsu groaned.

Gray kissed Natsu's ear, "Come on, baby. Won't you let me hear you when it's my first time with you?"

Natsu whined and put his chin up on the bed. He forgot that he hadn't had sex with Gray yet. But Gray seemed to know Natsu's body somehow. That he liked Gray's voice and the pet names he gave. The way he held his hips so tightly and made move with him. Natsu felt connected to Gray, like apart of him. Gray ran his hands up and down Natsu's thigh, nibbling Natsu's ear. Gray moaned and thrusted properly, harder and faster now. Natsu teared up slightly and arched his back, holding on to the sheets tensely. He moaned lustfully, mouth drooling from the pace.

"Oh fuck! Please, move harder!" Natsu moaned, "That feels so good."

Gray pulled Natsu back with the thrusts quicker, pounding into him harder. Gray grunted and nipped Natsu's shoulder. He felt close, Gray thrusted deeper, hitting Natsu's prostate. Natsu flipped his head back, his knees went weak and his body couldn't hold himself up anymore.

"Oh God, Gray!"

"You're so noisy aren't you? Or is it because you're with me?"

"Gray, I'm gonna come." Natsu panted.

"Are you going to come for me, Natsu?" Gray mumbled against Natsu's ear before kissing Natsu's neck, "I want you to come a lot for me."

Natsu breathed hard, turning his head to the side to feel Gray brush his teeth on his neck. His hips bucked forward, his body tensed up as he moaned. Coming soon after. His arms fell from underneath him. Panting hard as Gray slammed deeply into him, coming after Natsu with a groan. Falling down on Natsu's back, trying to catch his breath.

"Holy shit," Natsu breathed, "You're heavy, get off."

"Is that really the first thing you're going to say to me after we have sex?" Gray asked, moving off of Natsu and onto the bed properly. Taking off the condom and disposing it.

Natsu crawled up and laid on Gray's chest. Running his hand over Gray's tattoo. Gray pulled up the sheets, rubbing his hand on Natsu's back. The room felt stuffy, like they had made so much heat between them that they fogged the room.

"That felt amazing," Natsu said, "I'm glad you gave me this little invite to your house."

"You're very welcome," Gray said, rubbing his hand over Natsu's arm, "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"How did Cana know you?"

Natsu licked his lips and nuzzled his head in Gray's chest, "I met her at a party before I got grounded. She was working there."

"Cana doesn't do parties. What was she doing there?"

"It wasn't a party exactly, it was a rave."

"Shit, Natsu," Gray lifted up his head, "What the hell were you doing there?"

"Listen, I really don't want to talk about this right now," Natsu said, "I just want to sleep and I want you to take me home."

Gray wouldn't let it go. Not this time, "Is that when you started to put a bandage on your arm?"

"Gray, I said knock it off."

"You know, I think I deserve to know what happens in your life."

"Look, I just had sex with you for the first time and I really don't want to be thinking of that party. I'd rather just lay here with you, okay?"

Gray sighed, And ran his hand on on Natsu's marked arm. Natsu didn't like the feeling of Gray's hand on his bandage, but he didn't want to tell him to stop. Natsu kissed Gray's chest and closed his eyes.

"I'll wake you up in an hour and take you back home." Gray said.

"That's fine. Thanks. Hey can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, anything."

"Can you hum that one _Beatles_ song for me? That 'she loves you yeah yeah yeah' song. You know what I'm talking about right?"

"Oh uh yeah, I know what you're talking about."

"Thanks, that's my favorite song when it plays in your truck."

Gray smiled and kissed Natsu's head.

Natsu closed his eyes and curled his fingers on Gray's tattoo. Listening to Gray's humming of _She Loves You._

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, favorite, and follow if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update,_


	8. Hockey and Xanax

**Hey guys! New chapter and the only thing that sucks about it is that it's pretty short but I don't think this chapter needs to be long like all the others. But I think you guys will like it a lot! Oh and thanks for all the reviews, I love when you guys give feedback it's the best! I do not own Fairy Tail, the characters, or the song lyrics used. Enjoy.**

* * *

After three more weeks, Natsu's arm healed up. That's also when he and Gray had started to have sex regularly. So often, that it kept Natsu from going out to party. He always became cross with the idea of either going to a party and become a mess, or spend a night with Gray and become a complete and total wreck. It became easier and easier to decide whenever he was faced with a party invite now. He just had to call and see if Gray was free.

Gray frequently kept coming over to Natsu's house when Zefer worked late and it was apparent that Gray was there. Leaving leftover clothes when Gray forgot to put on a shirt before he left, extra cigarette ashes in the ashtray, and the noticeable smell of sex, the mixture of sweat and left over lust on Natsu before he took a shower in the morning. Zeref never brought it up though, he didn't mind the fact that Gray would come over, he did mind the mess afterwards but other than that he could care less. He wished Natsu would at least tell him when Gray came over. Zeref kept his knowledge hidden well from the two boys, mostly because he liked seeing his brother like this. Natsu wasn't totally happy, he just looked well rested. Like he had woken up from the best nap of his life every morning after Gray had left.

Natsu put his hands on the headboard of the bed and curved his back. Moaning with the rhythm of his rocks down on Gray. Natsu bit his lip, Gray sucked on Natsu's neck after a bite, leaving read teeth marks on his skin after. Gray tasted Natsu's sweat and felt the heat illuminate off his body. He panted hard, Gray's hands were pressed on Natsu's him down harder and faster as he thrusted up. The music on was loud, Natsu now always needed his stereo on in the background. He'd rather have his neighbors complain about the music instead of his sex song _Happy_ was at the chorus, the boys seemed to become more riled.

"Oh fuck, Gray!" Natsu cried, "I'm so fucking close."

Gray pushed Natsu down on his back, causing Natsu to gasp from the change in position. He moved Natsu's legs back far and slammed deeply, the bed creaked. Natsu squeezed his eyes tightly and turned his head to the side, moaning out fully. Gray groaned and curled his hands tightly on Natsu's thighs.

"Fuck, you feel so good, Natsu." Gray breathed.

Gray leaned down and kissed Natsu firmly, Natsu pulled away, catching his breath.

"Wait to do that after I come," Natsu mumbled, "You won't have to wait long."

"Why can't I ever kiss you when we have sex?"

"I just don't like it, you're lips are salty and you breathe too hard."

"Hey, I do not!" Gray snapped, not noticing his hips mover deeper and stronger thrusts.

Natsu gasped, the corner of his eyes dampen as he curved his back deeply and moaned. The head piercing was hitting his prostate. Gray pushed on Natsu's legs farther back and repeatedly hit the same spot. Natsu gripped the sheets tightly and parted his lips widely, no sound came from his mouth as he came. Little speaks landing on Gray's lower stomach and on his own abs. Gray gave it a few more thrusts before he cried out and came.

Gray looked down at Natsu, panting heavily. Natsu's eyes were closed, his cheeks a soft hue of pink and head turned. His chest rising up and falling, Gray leaned down and kissed Natsu's cheek, doing it again and again a few times before pulling out and rolling off of Natsu. Once the two of them caught their breath, Natsu cleaned his stomach and Gray took off his condom. Natsu stood up and stumbled over to his stereo, he changed out the tape and put in a _Smashing Pumpkins_ tape, _Disarm_ started to play and Natsu crawled back into bed.

Natsu coursed his fingers through his hair, "You got the time?" Natsu asked.

"Uh, your clock says nine twenty- eight."

Natsu clicked his tongue and sighed, "Thanks," Natsu reached over and pulled out his drawer, digging out his pill bottle," There's a bottle of water on your side of the bed, get it for me?"

Gray nodded and picked up the plastic bottle, handing it to Natsu. Natsu uncapped the lid and tipped back two pills in his mouth and took a swig of water. Gray had started to notice the schedule when it was time to take his pills. It was either between eight to ten, depending on when they would be done. Gray felt odd when he saw Natsu take his pills. He knew Natsu had to take them to function however he needed to. But he never asked anything about it, and it was starting to get to Gray. He knew it shouldn't, it wasn't Gray's place to let this get to him. Gray rolled on his hip and rested his hand on his cheek.

"So, hockey season is coming up soon." Gray informed.

"Oh yeah? How enthralling."

"Yeah, that means practice and stuff is gonna start up soon in October," Gray started to pick at his thumb nail, "Maybe you could came to a few games. See me practice sometimes too."

Natsu curled up one side of his mouth and softly laughed, "See you actually play? I… I don't know. It seems a little… I don't know like, um…"

"A little boyfriend-ish?"

Natsu licked his lips and raised up his fingers with a small gap between them. "Just a smidge."

Gray sighed and lifted up his head, "Natsu…"

"What? It is, I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, I think it gives off a wrong vibe. We aren't dating and I don't want people to think we are if we aren't."

Gray swallowed, he didn't seem sad or disappointed. His face looked like he felt nothing in that moment. Just like Natsu after he popped his pills.

"Why does it even matter?" Gray asked, "It's not even a big deal, your friends know where we stand in a relationship and so does mine…" Gray bit his lip, "What are you so afraid of, Natsu?"

Natsu didn't reply. He turned his head away and brushed his hand on his healed arm. Rubbing it like the mark was still there. Gray ran his fingers through his hair.

"Hey Natsu, can I ask you something?"

Natsu turned back, "Yeah, shoot."

Gray sat up and reached down to the ground and picked up his pants, digging out his cigarette pack. Letting Natsu bum one as Natsu threw on Gray's shirt, he lit Natsu's cigarette and then his own. He took a smoothe deep drag, sweetly smiling, like some kind of segway to an awkward conversation, "Why do you have to take those pills anyway?"

Natsu chewed his cheek and still hadn't inhale any of the smoke. Only keeping it between his fingers. Of course he had to see this coming, it happens everytimes. Natsu just wished it would have happened later than sooner.

Natsu shrugged, "A little thing called bipolar depression. It means I have depressive moods or bipolar lows, something like that. I don't know, that's what the doctors tell me…," Natsu put his cigarette to his lips and inhaled, his leg bounced up and down, "They said it probably started when I was in middle school and only became worse from there. I started to have trouble sleeping."

Gray didn't think Natsu would open up this easily, he didn't think Natsu explained this often to others. But it's like Natsu wasn't bothered by this, like this was his fourth time being on a silver table with his stomach being open by a scalpel. Following the same scar that had opened him before. Natsu wasn't bothered by it, he just didn't care anymore. He didn't care if he bled out now whenever he told people about his depression, he just always wanted to be sewed up at the end with "I'm sorry" and "Everything will be okay."

Gray moved closer to Natsu, "Why did you have trouble sleeping?"

"Zeref was in college when I was in eighth grade and he went to classes at night and worked during the day…," Natsu looked like he was going blind while he looked down at the ground, "And my dad just left us so I went to bed alone almost every night," Natsu's voice was becoming shaky "So instead of sleeping I'd stay up all night listening to music or drawing, something that would make me feel like-like there was someone in the house with me. I didn't let anyone know but… I was lonely and I honestly hated it. But in high school, I just got used to it."

Natsu shook his head and laughed under his breath. He didn't know that he was talking so much, "You know, no one ever tells you that loneliness becomes addictive. Once I met a few friends though and I had Lucy, I branched out more. But that wasn't enough for me. So I started going to block parties and got wasted or strung out. Anything to make me feel less alone..." Natsu rubbed his face and smacked his fist down on the bed, "But I still wasn't getting any fucking sleep, that's all I fucking wanted was to sleep."

Gray put his hand over Natsu's, "Calm down hot head," Gray mumbled, leaning in for a kiss, Natsu pulled back, "Do you want to keep going?"

"Not really. But I can't leave you on the edge of your seat, can I?"

"I mean… I'd like if you'd keep going."

Natsu nodded, "So kept going to more parties, and they started to become more hardcore. It wasn't just weed or a random fuck every week. This was me getting tweaked on street drugs and fucking a different dude a night while doped out of my mind. I wasn't telling anyone how I felt. I tried to keep my life as secret as I could, and then one night… Something happened and it led me into the hospital. That's when I got my first psych exam. Almost immediately I got a prescription and started to get some sleep. The doctors said I was trying to cope with depression with drugs which kinda made sense to me."

Then, Gray said something Natsu didn't expect:

"Did you ever feel less lonely after you started taking Xanax?"

Natsu only shrugged.

"Then how do you know it's working?"

Natsu looked at Gray, his eyes looked like they were glistening. The cigarette smoke from both of them blurred Natsu's and Gray's face. Like how a photo looked after you get them developed, they were never focused and color was corrected to look like people were fading.

"I don't know," Natsu said, hushed, "I've always had this gut feeling that everyone I let in is going to leave me. And that scares me."

Gray lifted up Natsu's chin, "Is this why you never let me in?" Gray asked, "Why you only let me know just enough to where I'm satisfied? Because you're scared I'm gonna leave you?"

Natsu quietly gasped and took a deep drag of his cigarette, before stubbing it out, "What if it happens? What if I start to like you alot and then- boom! You leave because you can't deal with me anymore or you want to do your own thing or whatever. I don't want to just fucking hurt myself."

His voice had gone monotone. A faint, rough whisper that could only show that he was bottling everything up inside. Natsu closed his eyes.

 _Disarm you with a smile._

 _And cut you like you want me to._

"What would make you believe that I won't hurt you?" Gray murmured, his thumb grazing Natsu's knuckles. Gray bit his lip, "I've wanted to be in a relationship with you for a while, Natsu," Natsu rested his head on Gray's shoulder and exhaled. Gray tapped the ash off of his cigarette in the ashtray, he kissed the top of Natsu's head and pressed his hand on Natsu's cheek, "Would you go out with me?"

"I don't think you understand, I don't do well with commitment."

"I'll make you do well if you have a relationship with me," Gray said, "I promise you, baby, I won't let you fall."

"You know, I've never had a boyfriend before. Aren't you afraid I won't treat you like a good boyfriend should?"

Gray chuckled, "When have you treated me well since I've met you?" Gray joked.

Natsu punched Gray's arm and nuzzled against Gray's neck. Gray wrapped his arms around Natsu. Natsu's hands were pressed to Gray's chest as he was pulled on Gray's lap.

"You're not just asking me out just because you think it will make me trust you, right?"

"Of course not," Gray whispered in Natsu's ear, "If you fall, I'll fall right along with you."

Natsu shivered. He felt like a child being lulled and carried off to bed. Statements from Gray sounded like bedtime stories and his arms like lush comforter sheets. Natsu tightened his legs around Gray's back.

"Alright. Alright, fine," Natsu muttered, feeling Gray's hand rub up and down his back, "I'll be your boyfriend."

Gray smiled and kissed Natsu's closed eye, "Does this mean you'll go to my hockey games now?"

Natsu laughed and pushed Gray's chest, pulling back, "Shut up, stripper," Natsu giggled while Gray pulled him back and Natsu playfully tried to get away, "I don't want to watch you fall on your ass while you're ice skating."

"Hey, hockey is nowhere close to ice skating," Gray said, pressing his lips to Natsu's as he laid on the bed, Natsu resting on Gray's hips, "It much more masculine."

"Is that a fact?" Natsu murmured, towering over Gray.

"Mmhm."

Natsu hovered his lips over Gray's and smiled, rubbing his nose against Gray's, "If hockey is so masculine than why do you play it?"

"Oh that is it" Gray said, rising up and wrestling to put Natsu on his back, grabbing his wrists. Natsu couldn't control his laughter, "I am super manly, look at me. I'm a badass."

As Natsu tried to calm himself and pecked Gray on the lips, "I look at you all the time," Natsu said, "And now you're my badass."

"Damn right I am, darlin'"

"Now just because we're going out now doesn't mean we're all lovey dovey," Natsu said, "I might vomit around you if you're like that."

Gray snickered and put his head on Natsu's collar, locking his fingers with Natsu's.

"I'll be just a mushy with you like I always have been."

The two played together with their fingertips , dancing across skin and feeling their body heat caress one touched one another as if they weren't allowed to. Letting their small laughs dissolve and become part of the air. As their voices became whispers, lips brushing against ears. They acted like they were telling each other secrets. And maybe they were.

 _The killer in me is the killer in you_

 _My love_

 _I send this smile over to you._

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow and favorite if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	9. Dirty Hearts, Jean Jacket

**Hey guys! New chapter! I made a longer chapter to make up for last week with the shorter chapter. But I give you some cute date junk. I like it and I hope you will too. I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Nor do I own the song lyrics used. Enjoy.**

* * *

In lunch, Natsu felt drained. He had his cheek pressed to the cold table with his lunch tray blocking his vision. Lucy sat across from Natsu and slammed down an aluminum can by his head. Natsu groaned and looked up at Lucy.

"Here, I bought you an energy drink, you look like you need one."

"Do you need something right now?"

"Just your devoted attention," Lucy said, poking her straw in her milk carton, "What's wrong with you? You're usually inhaling food by now."

"Tired." Natsu replied.

"From what?"

"Gray was helping me study for that math exam today all night over the phone," Natsu sighed, nesting his head in his arms, " He's actually really good at precal. He helped me out a lot but he didn't let me go to fucking sleep till three in the morning."

"Oh whatever, you've stayed up later than that before. Why's this any different?"

"It's because I was learning and not partying my fucking brains out."

Lucy giggled and opened her bag of chips, "So do you feel like you learned anything?"

"I guess we'll see when I take the test. It's next period."

"Well, eat something before then. Drink your energy drink. It's that new _Hype_ shit. Everyone says it's great."

"Yes, mother." Natsu said and cracked open the can.

"So, how are you and Gray doing anyway?" Lucy asked, chewing a chip, "Still good?"

Natsu nodded, sipping his drink, scrunching his face, "We're still good just like the last time you asked. It's different."

"Having a boyfriend usually is different than having a guy you fuck," Lucy pointed out, "Have you gone on any dates yet?"

"Um, would you count him coming to my house or me going to his house, getting baked and watching movies while eating junk food before we fuck count?"

"No, I would not count that as a date. You're honestly hopeless."

"Hey, cut me some slack, I've never had a boyfriend, I don't know what to do,"Natsu ran his fingers through his bangs, "And Gray doesn't seem to mind. I think he likes it."

 _Like Gray would tell me he didn't like it._

"He'll get bored if you just keep getting high and watching stupid movies."

Natsu bit his lip. Bored? Gray couldn't get bored of Natsu. Gray teased him too much to get bored. Gray kissed Natsu too much, he held Natsu too long, he laughed at Natsu's remarks. Gray was amused by Natsu, interested in him. Natsu took another giant gulp of the fuzzy drink and wiped his mouth.

"Alright, now what's wrong?" Lucy asked.

"What? Nothing, I'm fine. Christ."

Lucy tilted her head and held out her small bag, "Chip?"

Natsu quickly dug his hand in the bag and crunched on a salty chip. After getting a taste, he opened his own bag with a loud pop and started to munch. Lucy smiled and chewed another chip.

"Then I'm going to change your no-date status," Lucy said, "If you're not busy tonight."

"It's Friday, Gray and I usually hang out."

"Perfect! I was going to see that new movie _Shadows of Desire_. It looks good and I need someone to see it with. I'll pay for your guys tickets."

"A movie?" Natsu mumbled and swallowed, "I don't know, won't you feel like a third wheel?"

"As long as you two are on a real date, I will never be a third wheel. I just want to see the movie. But you have to comply to a few rules."

"Great. I knew it was too good to be true."

Lucy rolled her eyes, "Neither of you can come to the theater stoned, drunk, or under the influence."

"Understood."

"Good. And you have to be sweet and romantic to each other. Hugging kissing, the whole shabang."

"Ah,what?!" Natsu groaned, "That's embarrassing if we do that shit in public. We'll look like complete dorks."

"If you say yes I'll also buy snacks." Lucy sang.

Natsu rubbed his face, "Fuck it, fine. But I don't know if he'll agree to any of this."

"Gray's your boyfriend, he should like doing stuff like this with you and your lovely best friend."

"I think you give yourself too much credit," Natsu sighed, "I'll call him on one of the payphones during study hall."

Lucy nodded, "Good boy. Call me once you know and I'll tell you the time."

"Fine by me," Natsu said, shrugging before taking a sip of his energy drink, "I don't get why'd you want to see Gray and I being gross together."

"I find it cute, I like knowing the fact that one of us can get a guy…," Lucy picked up her fork and poked her salad around "You seem happier now that you're with him. You're lucky."

Lucy didn't want to say it, but she always had this feeling of loneliness in the pit of her stomach. The kind that when she was with a group of good friends, she'd instantly would feel alone if a boyfriend or a girlfriend came in the mix. But for some reason, she liked seeing them happy. Lucy craved that kind of happy, it's just that no one was going to give it to her yet and Natsu knew her dilemma. Natsu sighed.

"I'll be as mushy and gushy as you want me to."

Lucy smiled, her cheeks started to glow a light pink, "Good, now you can have all the snacks you want."

* * *

Natsu put two quarters in the payphone and dialed Gray's home phone number. It was about two thirty and that meant school was almost over. After about five rings, Gray picked up the phone.

"Yeah, hello?" Gray said, muggy.

"Hey, It's Natsu," Natsu heard Gray yawn, "Are you still in bed?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"It's two in the fucking afternoon."

"So? I had to help you yesterday, it takes a lot out of me.I'm taking advantage of my day off and no classes," Gray said, "What's up, babe? Shouldn't you be in class?"

"I'm skipping class to drink beer in the parking lot," Natsu lied, "I'm thinking about driving off in a fast car with this boy in a leather jacket that keeps hanging around. He's giving me those 'fuck me' eyes"

"Make sure you wear a seatbelt," Gray replied, "If you're going to be a bad boy I might have to punish you."

Natsu rolled his eyes and leaned back on the wall, "I have study hall right now. Do you want to see a movie with Lucy and I tonight?"

"We aren't hanging out at my place tonight? I thought we would rewatch _Lion King_. I even tried to learn the song lyrics to annoy the shit out of you."

"It's Lucy's treat," Natsu informed, "She doesn't think we go out on proper dates."

"Well, she's not exactly wrong. We don't go out on dates, we just kinda hang out like friends."

"I would never hang out with a friend the way I hang out with you," Gray breathily laughed, Natsu bit his lip and curled his finger around the phone cord, "You don't mind it… Do you?"

"Nah, I can't complain," Gray said. That was a relief for Natsu, "But a date would be nice. I'm game. What are we seeing?"

"I forgot it, really wasn't paying attention. But I do know she'll pay for tickets and snacks."

"Lucy is the fucking bomb," Gray sighed, "Tell me the time and I'll pick you up."

"Okay, I gotta go, bye."

"Hey wait," Gray called, "Kiss me through the phone."

"Excuse me?" Natsu questioned.

"Kiss me through the phone," Gray repeated, "Just a quick little peck."

"Jesus Christ, no Gray."

"Come on, baby," Gray cooed, his voice buzzing in Natsu's ears, "I can't just listen to you and not get a little kiss."

"That doesn't make me want to kiss you."

"Please? For me?"

Natsu groaned and slink against the wall. He looked both ways down the hall and closed his eyes. With his lips, Natsu made a kissing noise. Natsu could only imagine Gray grinning sleepily.

"Okay, can I go now?"

"You may. I'll see you tonight, flame brain."

"Bye, stripper."

* * *

When Natsu came home, Happy was already weaving through his legs. Natsu softly laughed and kneeled down to pick him up.

"Hey buddy," Natsu greeted, "Zeref home?"

"He is," Zeref said from the kitchen, "Welcome home."

"Hey, how's it going?"

Zeref shrugged, "Alright. Pretty happy I get a night off work for once. I made some snacks if you want some."

"Depends," Happy jumped out of Natsu's arms while he walked in the kitchen, "What kind of snacks?"

"Ants on a log."

"Did you put some cinnamon and brown sugar on top too?" Natsu asked.

"When have I ever made ants on a log without brown sugar and cinnamon? Of course there's some."

Natsu picked up a celery stick and bit down. Crunching loudly with a hum, "Goddamn I love when you make ants on a log."

"You know, you can make them too, it's not hard," Zeref said, cutting some more celery into even bits, "It's celery, peanut butter and raisins."

"Yeah, but it's not the same, you know? It's different because you're my brother."

"Anyway, how was your day?"

Natsu swallowed, peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth, "Good, I took my precal test-"

"Oh God."

"And I think I did really well on it," Natsu finished getting another celery stick, "Gray helped me out a lot yesterday."

"Well that was sweet of him," Zeref said, spreading peanut butter on a few celery sticks, "So when are you going to stop sneaking your boyfriend in the house and let him have dinner with us?"

"Uh, what?"

"Natsu, it's obvious you sneak Gray into the house. I know you do it. But I'd like to have dinner with him sometime soon, now that he's your official boyfriend."

"Wait, you know that Gray comes over?" Natsu asked.

"Frequently, yes."

"H-how?"

"Well, the receipts of how many lube bottles and condoms you buy and how you guys tear through food. I noticed it was too much food for even you to eat."

Natsu blushed and lowered his head, "Oh my god…," Natsu trailed "This is so embarrassing."

"It's fine, Natsu. I like Gray so I don't really mind what you two do in private as long as it doesn't become a problem," Zeref said, "I want to get to know him more. Invite him over for dinner one week and I'll never bring up the fact that you and him screw like bunnies."

"Zeref!"

Zeref snicked and placed raisins on top of the peanut butter, "You're probably hanging out with him tonight, yeah?"

Natsu nodded, "We're seeing a movie with Luc at seven."

"Awesome, then we can schedule dinner for next Friday. What does he like to eat?"

"Um, he likes pasta and chicken. We smashed on that cheesecake you brought home."

"I knew it!" Zeref punched Natsu's shoulder, "You two did eat my cheesecake! That was leftovers from work! I was looking forward to eating it when I got home!"

"I can see why, it was soooooooooo good. God, just thinking about it makes my mouth water."

"You little bastard," Zeref gently laughed and pushed his dark hair behind his ears, "I'll make up something then. Have fun at the movies."

"Thanks, I will. And uh, Zeref?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry for not telling you Gray was coming over."

"It's okay, Natsu," Zeref wiped his hands on his pants and picked up a celery stick, "Jus tell me next time, okay?"

"You're the best brother ever."

Zeref shrugged, "I try."

* * *

Gray's truck sounded like it rattled more than before. Like it was being pushed to the limit as it drove down the road. Days started to get shorter and night came out earlier. _American Pie_ was playing on the radio, Gray's hands tap to the beat while Natsu stared out the window, describing in his head how the night sky looked for fun.

"So how did the test go?" Gray asked.

"Oh, fine," Natsu lifted up his head and looked over at Gray, "There was a few questions I know I fucked up on but other than that I think I did pretty good."

"Awesome, we should have study sessions more often," Gray smiled, "Maybe when I'm there in person and not over the phone."

"I don't know, you're less aggravating over the phone."

Gray shook his head, "Yeah, right back at you. I do like how cute you sound when you're sleepy over the phone."

"Hey, I'm not cute," Natsu said, moving his hand on Gray's thigh, "I'm attractive. I'm hot. I'm _not_ cute."

Gray bit his lip and stopped at a red light, leaning over to kiss Natsu's forehead, "You'll always be cute to me, baby."

"Stop it, save that mushy- gushy lovey stuff for the movies. Lucy wants to see it."

"Lucy wants to see us be gross and cute?"

Natsu breathed out, "Luc just likes seeing couples doing cute things. And I wouldn't argue about it with her. She is buying everything for us."

Gray shrugged, "It's just a little weird, most people don't like seeing puppy love stuff going on."

"Well, I think it's because Lucy hasn't had a boyfriend before. She likes seeing things that she doesn't have. And me being her best friend, she really wants to see it. I don't know, she might just might like it and think it's adorable."

"Well you are adorable."

"Knock it off."

Natsu leaned over and kissed Gray's cheek while Gray turned on the highway.

 _Bye Bye Miss American Pie_

 _Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry_

 _And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye_

 _Singing this will be the day that I die…_

 _This will be the day that I die._

Suddenly the truck started to slow, Gray looked over at the gas meter to make sure he wasn't running low. He pulled over to the side as the truck stopped.

"What's going on?" Natsu asked.

"Stay here, I'm going to check under the hood." Gray unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the car door.

Natsu nodded while Gray got out and stepped in front of the truck. Little strips of fog that smelt like something was burning came from under the hood. Gray lifted up the hood and smoke came up like an attack. Gray coughed and fanned the smoke away. The charger from the battery had been moved, causing the smoke.

"Son of a bitch!" Gray exclaimed.  
Natsu rolled down the window and poked his head out, "What happened?"

"The battery is fried!"

"What?"

"My _battery_ is _fried_!" Gray repeated.

"Can you fix it?"

"Yeah, let me just get my spare battery in the back of my truck," Gray groaned, "No, I can't fix it now."

"Hey don't get snippy, it's not my fault you have a shit truck."

"No now Natsu!"

Gray sighed deeply and slammed the hood down. Rubbing his temples, "Perfect, just fucking perfect," Gray mumbled to himself, walking back to the passengers side. Putting his arms on the window sill "You got a phone?"

Natsu shook his head. Gray closed his eyes and rested his chin on his arms, "Then you and I are stranded."

Natsu pressed his hand to Gray's cheek, running his thumb over his skin, "Gray, why do you have to have such a shitty truck?"

"It's not my truck, it's my battery that shit," Gray rubbed his cheek on Natsu's hand, "We saw a sign for a dinner a little while back didn't we?"

"Yeah, like half a mile ago."

"Maybe they have a phone we could use," Gray said, "Do you want something to eat?"

"I'm always in the mood to eat," Natsu turned off the truck and hopped out, he handed Gray his keys, "I guess we better start walking then."

Gray stuffed his keys in his pocket and started to walk with Natsu.

* * *

A few cars passed by, their lights blinding them slightly as they walked in the dew grass. The wind frisking the boys every once in awhile. Natsu pulled up his scarf and kept his arms crossed. Even with his cardigan on, he was still cold. He hated fall and he despised winter.

"Here," Gray took off his jean jacket and put it over Natsu's shoulders. His red striped tee shirt was all he had now, "You need it more than me, hot head."

Natsu curled the jacket around him and nestled inside, "Thanks, Gray."

The diner's neon sign lights could be seen. Written in bright blue lights that flickered occasionally. It read _Country Cottage_ with only a few cars in the parking lot. The building was small with a long line of windows.

"Did we just go back to the fifties when your truck broke down?" Natsu asked.

"I don't know, I'm not a greaser and you're not my cheerleader boyfriend."

"Okay, in the fifties I would totally be the greaser before you," Natsu said, Gray kissed Natsu's cold cheek, "And I would not be a goddamn cheerleader."

"Let's just hope the fifties has a phone."

Gray opened the door while bells on the handle jingled. A row of booths were by the windows and a waitress was talking to a man in one of the booths. Another woman was behind the bar like tabled with a few people drinking coffee and smoking while they sat on the stools. Natsu held on Gray's jacket tighter. Gray walked to the bar.

"Excuse me, do you have a phone we could use? Our car broke down." Gray said.

"Well sure, hun," The waitress said before filling up a man's coffee cup, "There's a payphone out by the side of the building and one by the bathroom. Take your pick."

"Thank you, ma'am," Gray smiled, "You should probably call Lucy. Tell her we can't make it to the movies before she gets pissed."

Natsu nodded, "I'll take the payphone," Natsu said, "Order some coffee after you get off the phone."

"Yeah, sure babe."

Natsu walked out the door and searched for the payphone. The glass was dusty from the outside, Natsu had trouble folding in the door and closing them once he was inside. He rummaged in his back pocket for some loose change and started to pop it in the coin slot. Natsu dialed Lucy's cell phone number and waited for her to pick up. He leaned against the glass, the area smelled like dead flies. Lucy picked up after the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Luc. It's Natsu."

"Natsu where the hell are you two? The movie is about to start in ten minutes. You running late?"

"Yeah, kinda. We're having car troubles," Natsu scratched the back of his head, "Gray's truck broke down."

"Oh shit! Are you guys okay?" Lucy asked, nervous.

"Yeah yeah of course we're fine. We're at a diner right now. Gray's using another phone to get help. We can't make it to the movies though."

"Damn it, what the hell am I going to do with these tickets? And all these snacks!"

Natsu shrugged, dragging his finger on the dirty glass. Drawing small hearts, "Sell the tickets and eat the snacks."

"Do you want me to get fat, Natsu?"

"Whatever, if you gain any weight you'll gain it in your tits or your ass. God forbid you put some meat on your bones."

Lucy giggled, "I can pick you guys up if you want me to."

"Nah, you go ahead and enjoy your movie and snacks."

"I'll tell you all about it later." Lucy said.

"See you later, little lady."

"Bye bye. Stay safe."

Natsu put the phone back on the receiver and pushed back his bangs. Natsu wiped off his hearts with his sleeve and opened the stiff door again. He went back into the diner with Gray in a booth looking through a menu with two coffee cups on the table. Natsu took off Gray's jacket and slipped into the booth.

"They serve breakfast all day here," Gray informed, "I'm thinking about getting an omelet and hashbrowns."

Natsu blew on his coffee before taking a sip, "Their coffee is kinda weak," Natsu murmured, "Do they have french toast on that menu?"

Gray nodded, "Yep, ooo, they even put powdered sugar on top too."

"I'll have chocolate chip french toast and fries then."

"You're having french toast and fries? That's pretty weird."

"Don't judge my eating habits and I won't judge yours."

Gray shrugged and kicked Natsu's foot under the table. He closed up his menu to signal the waitress.

"We decide on anything?" She asked, ready with her pen and notepad.

"Yeah," Gray said, "I'd like a ham and cheese omelet with hashbrowns."

"You get a side of meat with that too."

"Sausage links, please?"

"Sure thing, baby," She said, finishing up writing the order, "And for you?"

"Chocolate chip french toast and crispy fries, please."

"Mmmhm, take your menus," She smiled and picked up the menus "And I'll put those in for you guys."

"Thank you." Gray said.

"Miss, would you mind if I borrow a pen from you?" Natsu asked.

"Not at all, baby," She said and pulled a pen from her apron, "Here you go."

"Thanks."

Natsu pulled out some napkins from the napkin dispenser and checked the ink in the pen. The pen's color was blue but the ink came out black. Gray ripped open a few packages of sugar and stirred his coffee.

"Whatcha gonna draw?" Gray asked.

"I don't know yet," Natsu said, "Just a little doodle for the waitress."

"That's sweet of you," Gray felt Natsu's foot kick back as they played a light game of footsie, "Why don't I get little drawings when you're at the coffee shop?"

"Because you aren't a waitress. You're my coffee shop boyfriend."

"That should mean I totally deserve a drawing from you," Gray said and sipped his coffee, "I need something from you hanging up in my room."

Natsu licked his lips and started to scribble on the napkin, "Maybe sometime later." Natsu said.

"Why later? Why not sometime soon?"

"It's only been a couple weeks since we've been together," Natsu said, "I don't want to just break up a month later and you have this stupid drawing I made for you that was based on a romantic relationship we had ."

"I, in no way, have any intention of breaking up with you in a month. And your drawing wouldn't be stupid to me. It would mean a lot still."

Natsu took a big gulp of coffee, burning his tongue,"So who did you call about the truck issue?" Natsu asked changing the subject.

Gray breathed through his nose, "I called Lyon to see if he'll get us. He said yeah but he'll be a couple hours before he gets off work to get us. The restaurant is making him help close up tonight."

"Damn, so that's going to be like what? Till eleven?"

"At least."

Natsu groaned and slouched down to lay his head on the table, "Great. I should call Zeref sometime soon then to tell him I won't be home till late."

"Sorry my truck ruined date night," Gray said, "I had no idea that would happen."

"It's not your fault," Natsu sighed, "I really didn't ever care to watch the movie anyway. I just wanted to be with you."

"Then why even bring me to the movies with you and Lucy? I wouldn't mind to hang out with you another day at one of our places."

"I don't know. It just got me thinking that maybe we aren't romantic enough or something."

"I think we're romantic enough. We tease each other, we cuddle, give each other shit, make out constantly. We're really romantic. Right now we're playing fucking footsie."

"Yeah but what if there's a time where we stop playing footsie, huh?" Natsu said, putting his hands on the table, "Where you get bored playing footsie with me at one of our houses, or we go through all of our movies. Or I start to learn lyrics to your tapes in the car? What if it's all a boring routine?"

Natsu seemed panicked for some reason. He scratched at his arm and thickly swallowed. Gray leaned over and tilted up Natsu's head, kissing his forehead.

"If being with you becomes a routine, then sign me up," Gray whispered before pecking Natsu's lips, "I'll always want to watch movies and listen to music with you. No matter how many times we listen or watch them."

Gray put his hand on top of Natsu's to pull his fingers away from his sleeve. Gray sounded promising, like he was telling the truth. And Nasu felt convinced. Like Gray was telling him facts that Natsu didn't have anything to contradict him. Gray sat down in the booth and smiled that irresistible grin as the waitress came over with a tray of food.

"Ham 'nd cheese omelet with hashbrowns and links," She dropped down Gray's plate in front of him, "French toast and fries," She sat Natsu's plate with syrup, "Y'all need anything else?"

"Could you bring out more coffee?" Gray asked.

"Sure, baby."

Gray hummed and unrolled his silverware, "Everything looks good," Gray said, satisfied, "And it smells great too."

"You know, it doesn't look half bad."

Natsu poured syrup over his french toast and started to cut it up into little uneven squares. Gray took a bite of his omelet and chewed, "Holy fuck," Gray mumbled, "This is awesome."

Natsu ate one of his fries and nodded, "My fries are pretty good," Natsu said, "You want one?"

"I may snag one later," Gray replied, "I didn't actually think diner food would taste good."

Natsu ate a bit of his french toast and moaned softly, "Oh fuck," Natsu muttered, "It's so sweet and good. I feel like my stomach is getting a warm hug."

"Right? It's so good," Gray said and cut up another piece, "You know… This wouldn't be bad to count as our first date."

Natsu swallowed and held out one of his fries for Gray, their feet still battling under the table, "I wouldn't mind either. Maybe your shitty truck breaking down wasn't such a bad thing."

Gray grinned and leaned over for the fry, "I think this is my favorite date."

"This has been our only date, dummy."

"Yeah, but it's still my favorite."

Natsu giggled and continued eating. Every once in awhile going back to his napkin to draw. He ended up drawing him and Gray eating, clearly kicking each other while they ate. Some syrup fell on the drawing.

* * *

After a couple hours, Gray and Natsu were on this caffeine buzz. They felt jittery, like they couldn't stop their hands from shaking. The diner closed at ten so they started to make their way back to the truck. Natsu rode on Gray's back, Gray's arms hooked under Natsu's legs and his arms around Gray's neck. Natsu was wearing Gray's jean jacket as he laughed softly. They were singing songs lazily while spare cars drove past them.

" _She loves you, yeah yeah yeah,_

 _She loves you, yeah yeah yeah_

 _She loves you, yeah yeah yeah yeah."_

Natsu rested his head on Gray's shoulder and smiled.

"Sing to me, I know you know this part." Gray said.

Natsu laughed and nipped Gray's ear.

" _You think you've lost your love,_

 _Well, I saw her yesterday,_

 _It's you she's thinking of,_

 _And she told me what to say."_

Natsu whispered before rubbing his nose against Gray's neck, the car was in sight now. Gray turned his head.

"And what did she say?" Gray asked.

"It's your music, you know the lyrics."

"But you make it sound so good."

" _She says she loves you."_ Natsu said.

Gray gingerly smiled and kissed Natsu's cheek, dropping Natsu down on his feet and opened the car door. Natsu climbed in and Gray followed behind. Gray grabbed Natsu's wrist before he went to sit in the passenger seat and pulled him on his lap. Natsu laughed and looked down at Gray.

"What?" Natsu asked.

"You're just so beautiful," Gray mumbled, kissing Natsu's neck and moving his hips closer to his.

Natsu lowered his head and laughed, "Stop it, I am not."

"You are to me," Gray lifted up Natsu's scarf and bit his collarbone, "I want you, baby."

"Now?" Natsu breathed, turning his head to the side, "We're in the truck though. And Lyon will be here soon."

"We have time," Gray put his hand under Natsu's shirt and smirked, "Your nipples are already perky."

"Shut up," Natsu said and tugged his shirt down, blushing, "You don't need to and you don't get to play with them."

"Come on, what else are we going to do for another hour?" Gray asked, pressing his hips up, "I've got condoms and lube in the glove box."

"Why the hell do you have those in your truck?"

"In case of emergency," Gray bit Natsu's neck, hearing a quiet moan, "Don't worry, I'll make sure you come quick."

Natsu shivered and bit his lip, "Fuck, Gray, why do you do this to me," Natsu groaned, "Fine, but make sure it's fast. I don't want Lyon to catch us fucking. Or worse, a police officer."

Gray smiled and kissed him hard, gripping his ass while Natsu draped his arms over Gray's shoulders. Gray leaned Natsu back and popped open the glove box, rattling around and got the small bottle of lube and a condom. Natsu started to unbutton his jeans and struggle to pull them off. Gray pressed his tongue in Natsu's mouth and lapped over. Pulling back with a string of saliva connecting their huffing mouths. Natsu moved over to the passenger seat and took off the rest of his pants, Gray made the drivers seat slide back for more room. Natsu took off his underwear with his ass in the air.

"Oh fuck yes," Gray breathed, gripping Natsu's ass tightly, Natsu gasped, "Keep your ass up like that for now."

"Y-yes Gray."

Gray squeezed and released, "Do you mind if I give you a little tap?"

"You want to spank me?"

"Just one slap, that's all I'm asking," Gray said, "You have such a spankable ass."

Natsu bit his lip and blushed lightly, "Just one because we're in a truck. If you do another one, I'm kicking your ass."

"Deal."

As Natsu readied himself, Gray raised his hand and slapped down hard on Natsu ample ass. Natsu moaned and tensed up, curling his toes and arching his back. Natsu's hips wiggled. Gray's eyes glowed.

"You seemed like you liked that."

"Shut. Up. Prep me already. I want you to fuck me."

Gray leaned over and kissed Natsu's red cheek while he lubed his fingers, "Your face looked so cute," Gray pressed in two fingers, "Your whole body clenched up. You look like you wanted more."

"We'll talk about it later," Natsu muttered, spreading his legs more, "Right now, move your fucking fingers."

Gray moved his fingers in and out quickly. Curling and spreading them apart in a routine motion. Natsu closed his eyes and panted, his cheeks this gentle hue pink. Natsu gripped the upholstery and moaned. Gray reached around and wrapped his hand around Natsu's cock, stroking steadily. Natsu tipped back his head and moved his hips back.

"Oh fuck," Natsu groaned, "That's so good."

"It must be, your fucking yourself on my fingers," Gray felt his arousal start to grow in his pants, "It's so hot, it's turning me on."

"I'd rather fuck myself on your cock."

"Are you almost ready for me then, baby?" Gray asked.

"Yeah," Natsu cooed, "I want you to fuck me, now, Gray. I want you inside me."

Gray pulled his fingers back and unbuttoned his pants, Natsu kissed Gray's neck down to his shoulder, licking up slowly. Gray breathed out and tried to focus on lowering his pants. Natsu kept stroking himself and moaned against Gray's ear. It drove Gray crazy. Natsu looked down.

"You're so hard already," Natsu said, "I didn't even have to touch you. Did you get off just by looking at me?"

"I told you, you were turning me on," Gray said, opening the condom wrapper. Rolling it on his cock, "Now get on my lap so I can fuck you."

Natsu grinned and kissed Gray's cheek, climbing on Gray's lap and taking off his jacket and scarf, Lifting up Gray's shirt after. Pulling it off and tossing it to the side. Natsu put his hands on Gray's chest and lowered himself down on Gray's cock. Natsu curled his fingers and whined, pressing his chest against Gray's. Gray gripped Natsu's hips and moaned. Natsu started to lift up and moved back down while Gray rolled up his hips.

"Shit, that feels so good,"Natsu groaned,"Don't go slow. We don't have time for it."

Gray nodded and started to thrust up deep and hard, finding a pace as he pulled Natsu down faster. The windows started to fog up and the truck started to get hot. Gray swallowed, catching his breath after he swallowed. Gray ran his hand up Natsu's shirt, he kissed Natsu's chest. Thrusting harsher. He flicked his tongue over Natsu's nipple, his fingers rubbing his pierced nipple.

"F-fuck," Natsu stuttered, "I told you that you don't get to play with my nipples."

"What are you going to do to stop me?" Gray mumbled.

"Jack-fucking-shit."

Gray smirked and bit down, "That's my good boy," Gray pulled back and squeezed Natsu's peck, "Now fuck yourself faster on me and I might jack you off too."

Natsu nodded and moved at a more rapid pace, Gray being able to move in farther. Natsu moaned loudly, Gray's piercing rubbed against his prostate. He tensed up around Gray, causing Gray to grunt. Gray started to stroke Natsu again. Natsu gasped and leaned forward, pressing his hand on the window.

"Fuck, I'm gonna come!" Natsu exclaimed.

"Me too," Gray mumbled and kissed Natsu deeply, "Shit I'm close."

Natsu panted heavily, scratching his nails over Gray's tattoo. Gray pressed up from the scratch and moaned. Rubbing his thumb over the head.

"Do you like when I scratch you?" Natsu asked.

"We'll talk about It when we talk about you and spanking," Gray mumbled, "Right now, I'm trying to come."

Gray pulled down roughly on Natsu's hip and hit Natsu's prostate. Natsu's jaw dropped as his moan trailed while he came. From Natsu's tightening, Gray came after, his head lowering. Natsu wrapped his arms around Gray's neck and hugged him while he breathed out. Gray grabbed his jacket and put it over Natsu's sweaty back.

Natsu pulled Gray out and picked up Gray's pants and boxers. Gray slightly laughed and kissed Natsu's head as he turned on Gray's lap and wrapped the jacket around himself. Gray rubbed Natsu's arms and nuzzled his head in Natsu's hair.

"So, do you like getting scratched?" Natsu asked.

"Hell yes," Gray mumbled, "Do you like getting spanked?"

"Fuck yes I do," Natsu replied, "Now that that's out of the way, I forgot to tell you that Zeref wants to have dinner with you Friday. You cool with that?"

"I won't decline free food. Of course I'll go, can't say no to my boyfriend's brother," Gray said, "But that might mean that Lyon will want to have dinner with you sometime too."

Natsu groaned and put his head on Gray's chest, "Why do we have to do stuff like this? Why can't we stay in a little bubble when we see each other and do whatever we want?"

"We do that. It's called 'Zeref works late' and 'Lyon studies'," Gray squeezed Natsu, "We stay in that little bubble all the time. We can't always stay in it."

Natsu sighed, his eyelids felt heavy, His hand ran over the scratch marks he left on Gray. He wished he never had to leave that bubble, but he wanted to, too. He hated his little dome, but Natsu also found comfort in it.

"Do you think I could take a power nap before Lyon picks us up?"

Gray nodded, "I'll wake you up in time to put on your pants."

"Thanks," Natsu said, "And hey, thanks for taking me out on a date tonight."

"No problem. Maybe we can come back here again."

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. Helps me out alot. See you next update._


	10. Hiding in Chests

**Hey guys! So a new chapter is coming out early so I can relax for a while for the holiday's. I'll try to update on Sunday though if I have the time! I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

This was the first night Natsu had came back from a party before one in the morning. Fall break had just started and Natsu thought a party would start off the week right. Natsu had gotten his fill, listened to his tunes, and danced as much as he wanted to. Then, he went home. He felt satisfied for once leaving a party. It almost made him sad by leaving so early. He loved partying, but he felt…. Done. It was weird. Natsu called Gray before leaving the party, asking if he wanted to pick him up from his place. Gray wouldn't have it any other way.

Natsu unlocked the door, kicking off his shoes. Zeref started to lift up his groggy head from the couch, Happy curled up more against his stomach.

"Oh, Hey," Zeref mumbled, rubbing his eyes, "Back so soon?"

"Yeah, hey" Natsu greeted and took off his hoodie, "I won't be for long. Gray is picking me up I still feel like going out."

"That's fine," Zeref plopped down on the couch again, "Have him come in for a minute."

"How come?" Natsu asked, sitting on the edge of the couch and rubbing Happy's head. Zeref started to sit up.

"I want to talk about dinner and other stuff with him," Zeref said, "You should probably pack up your condoms and weed if you're going to Gray's house."

"Zeref! You said you'd stop talking about that stuff!"

Zeref laughed, "He hasn't come over for dinner yet so I can talk about it all I want. And if you're going to be baked you might as well use protection."

"Stop it, you can not!" Natsu exclaimed, Happy jumped off the couch from Natsu's voice, "Gray is my boyfriend and you're my brother! It's weird when you talk about what we do together."

"Oh, so I'm right that you two have sex and smoke pot together."

Natsu held his breath while he blushed brightly, pressing his head against Zeref's chest and groaned. Zeref chuckled and rubbed Natsu's back. He liked teasing his brother, it made him feel like he was doing a good job as a big brother. It made Zeref think about when they were younger, when he didn't have to deal with a teenager. He ran his fingers back in Natsu's hair, Natsu stayed buried in Zeref's chest.

Zeref took in Natsu smell of strangers sweat and his natural scent of firewood. They hadn't been like this in a long time. That they had been so close together, Natsu had been a strained teenager since he had been in middle school.

"We haven't been like this in a while haven't we?"

"That's mostly my fault for being an angsty teenager who only has problems."

"You don't just have problems. You may cause trouble and make problems," Zeref mumbled, "You still do it…"

"What do you mean?"

"When you get embarrassed. You always bury your head somewhere like you're hiding. You did it all the time when you were little, if I made fun of you, you put your head in my chest."

"Well yeah," Natsu softly said, "You were the only one around to go to when I felt embarrassed," Natsu curled his hand on Zeref's shirt, "I felt better when I did it."

The two heard a knock come to the door. Natsu lifted up his head and hopped up to his feet. Zeref sighed, already missing being a comfort blanket to Natsu. Natsu opened the door, Gray smiled. He leaned over and kissed Natsu quickly.

"Hey, you ready to go?" Gray asked.

"No, not yet," Natsu replied, "I still have to change and pack up some stuff. Come in. Zeref is home."

"Oh," Gray walked in and waved at Zeref, "Hey, how's it going? Been awhile."

"Hello, Gray," Zeref said, "It been alright. You?"

"I'm good," Gray put his hand on Natsu's lower back, "Go ahead and change. I'll wait out here."

Natsu nodded and walked down the hall. Gray stayed standing up he hands in his pocket as he kept moving his feet in the same place. Here was this boy who had smitten his brother away. Zeref liked it, that Natsu had someone for himself, but that didn't mean he didn't have a pinch of jealousy for Gray.

"So, what are you guys planning to do tonight?" Zeref asked.

"Well, my brother Lyon is home so we'll probably bring the VSR in my room and watch some movies. I'll bring him home whenever you want me to."

"Anytime tomorrow will be okay."

Gray smiled small and nodded quick, "Sure, that's fine. Are we still on for dinner on Friday?"

"Yeah. I'm thinking about making chicken alfredo."

Gray hummed and shrugged up his shoulders, "That sounds awesome. I love alfredo."

"Hey, do you mind sitting down?" Zeref asked, "I'd like to talk to you."

"Uh, yeah. Okay?"

Gray sat down across from Zeref, almost looking worried now. Afraid that maybe he had done something wrong that he didn't know about. He locked his fingers together and slouched forward.

"So how long has it been since you and Natsu have been together in a real relationship now? Three? Four weeks now?"

"Five." Gray confirmed.

"Right, right, when his arm started to heal up," Zeref mumbled, he crossed his legs, "Look, I know it might sound like I'm being overprotective or trying to intimidate you but I'm not. Natsu's old enough to know what he's doing… Sometimes. So I don't mind him being with you."

"Yeah, okay? It seems like it's a little late to be having the 'If you hurt my brother I'll kill you,' talk."

"No, no, I don't mean it to sound like that. Besides, Natsu told me you met Erza so she already gave you that talk," Zeref rubbed the back of his neck, "I just want you to know, even when Natsu is a little bastard he's still really sensitive. He's very… Fragile in a way."

"He must be hiding it pretty well from me then," Gray said, "Don't worry. I know about Natsu and his condition. I understand it."

"You don't get it, Natsu keeps it hidden behind his medication."

"And like I said, I understand."

Zeref sighed, "No one just understands Natsu. I'm his brother and I don't even understand him."

"But I do."

Natsu came back, his messenger bag around his shoulder. He wore a red and black flannel with light blue jeans. His hair now fixed and his scarf straightened. Gray looked over his shoulder and stood up. Natsu wrapped his arm around Gray's.

"Later Zeref." Natsu said.

Gray smiled and pulled Natsu into his side. He and Zeref looked like they agreed to act like they didn't just have a serious conversation about Natsu. They walked over to the door, Natsu slipped on his sneakers.

"Bye, have fun. You two and be careful."

"When am I never careful?" Natsu said before opening the door and leaving.

"I'm allowed to still worry about you…" Zeref softly said.

* * *

Natsu's head was in Gray's lap, the bowl in his hand and smoke escaping his mouth. Lyon promised to keep to the living room while Gray and Natsu stayed in his room. Gray sat in the bean bag chair, Natsu lifted up the bowl for him. They had music lowly playing. _Radio Head_ was on, Gray flicked his lighter and started to light the bowl again to take a hit. He ran his fingers in the back of Natsu's hair. The lights were off, they had on _The Lion King_ but had the volume off so all they knew about the movie was that lions talked.

They kept the door locked and windows close so they could hot box the room. They lit scentless candles for a better light source than the small television. They felt amazing, like they were sitting on the smoke they had created. Swirling around their heads. It started to make Natsu think.

"Do you know how fast the earth rotates?" Natsu asked.

"That's pretty random," Gray chuckled and handed the bowl back to Natsu, "How fast?"

"Okay, so Zeref told me this a little while ago. He heard it from some of his computer nerd friends."

"Get on with it and tell me how fast the earth rotates, fuckwad."

"It rotates one thousand miles per hours."

"Wow," Gray breathed, his hand stopped moving, Natsu nuzzled against his palm, "That's pretty fucking fast."

"Crazy right?" Natsu smiled, "Do…Do you think you ever feel it? The earth rotating?"

"Nah, I don't think it's one of those things you feel, it's just something you know."

Natsu took in a deep breath of smoke and exhaled, "Sometimes I think I can. But like it doesn't feel that fast," Natsu sat up more and leaned forward, "Like, I get motion sickness from sitting."

"What do you mean 'feel' it?"

"Exactly what I mean by feel. I actually feel it move. It happens sometimes with gravity too," Natsu pulled at his shirt, "Like I feel gravity just pulling me down towards the core of the earth and no one else sees it, they don't see me sink into the ground."

Gray raised an eyebrow. Natsu was speaking rapidly, he had never been like this before. It couldn't have been the weed, they'd gotten high plenty of times before and he hadn't acted like this before. Gray just put his hands on Natsu's shoulders and rubbed them. Gray didn't notice that Natsu was scratching at his arm, he didn't know Natsu's thoughts were racing. Natsu loved when he started to create words in his mind so quickly. But they moved too fast for him to even comprehend them.

"You know… Sometimes… I feel _something_ and nothing at all at the same time. I don't know what that something is but nothing feels like my organs are scooped out. But when I'm with you, I feel everything all at once." Natsu quietly said, "Is that possible?"

Gray tilted his head and pulled his hands back, "I don't get it, so I can't really tell you if it's possible or not. You're acting kinda weird, are you okay?"

Natsu rubbed his face and pulled down on his cheeks, "I don't know," Natsu mumbled, "My brain is moving too fast. I can't keep up."

Natsu stood up and ran his fingers through his hair as he walked towards Gray's bed. It didn't look familiar to him. The color looked slightly off, instead of navy it was black. The fabric felt different on his hand. Natsu had been like this before, but it had been so long he forgot how to deal with it. He wished he could shut his mouth but his jaw felt too loose around Gray. He wanted to shut up or at least be able to edit his statements.

Natsu chuckled slightly, "Sometimes I feel like Kurt Cobain after the bullet," Natsu said, "Like my head is blown the fuck off."

"Natsu, don't say stuff like that. I'm way too high for that." Gray groaned,tipping back his head and pinching his brow.

"But then I see myself still being here. But I know I just killed myself," Natsu closed his eyes, "And I mean I'm lucky I can feel that, aren't I? I mean, some people don't feel like they've died and they kill themselves or hurt themselves. I used to feel like that, but I didn't want to really die. I just wanted to see what it was like." Natsu's hands were shaking, a blur of emotions moved passed him. Memories of fears came along with them,"Now I can feel like I've died while others can't."

Gray stood up and grabbed Natsu's shoulders. He slapped Natsu across the face, "Stop it, this isn't like you," Gray said, looking over Natsu. Natsu swallowed and held his red cheek. Gray frowed his brows, "Natsu, did you take your medication?"

Natsu licked his lips, "I mean, I took it yesterday. I forgot about it today."

"So you didn't take any Xanax since yesterday night?" Gray asked.

Natsu nodded his head and rubbed his arm, "I didn't think anything would happen. I usually just take them twice a day…So I just thought that if I didn't take any today I'd be okay." His head looking down at Gray's bare feet. Gray pulled Natsu into his chest, squeezing him tightly.

"You idiot. Don't do that again… You need to take it to be better," Gray mumbled, "You're scaring me when you're like this."

"Scaring… You?"

Natsu's eyes were wide open, he gripped Gray's shirt tightly. He didn't know that he was scaring himself, now that he knew he was frightening Gray. He had been like this before and sometimes getting a kick out of it. But that's when he was in his room, no one but Happy by his side. This was him, wasn't it? Without the little pills and reasons to keep his mouth shut, this was what he was like. When Natsu didn't have the artifical flavors or preservatives or Xanax. Natsu didn't want to fear himself, he knew himself when the monster under his bed was named Natsu. But he couldn't just _not_ be himself, could he? Natsu breathed out shaky. Natsu moved onto the bed, pushing Gray on his back and keeping his head on his chest.

If he was scaring Gray, that might mean he'd go away…

"Can I tell you something stupid?" Natsu asked.

"You've been saying stupid stuff," Gray said, "I wouldn't mind to hear more."

Natsu laughed, putting his hand under Gray's shirt, he skin was cold, "Today, Zeref told me that when I was younger, I'd bury my head in his chest when I was embarrassed. But he forgot that I did it when I was scared too," Natsu sighed and curled his hand on Gray's stomach, "And when Zeref started to work and go to school, I never saw him… And I was scared and alone a lot."

"This was when you started to feel depressed, yeah?" Gray asked.

Natsu nodded, "Yeah… And there was no chest for me to hide in. So I'd keep my head in one of Zeref's pillows. I'd always wake up against Zeref's chest in his bed…," Natsu looked up at Gray, "Don't leave me. Not when I'm scared."

Gray leaned down and kissed Natsu, his hand against his warm cheek. Parting his lips to kiss him deeper. He tasted like herbs and cheesy chips they had earlier.

"There's no way I'll leave you at all," Gray breathed, his fingers twisted in Natsu's soft locks. He looked at Natsu for the fragile being he was. This must have been what Zeref meant, "Not after seeing you like this."

"I thought you wouldn't want to stay with me if I was like this…"

"Of course I want to stay with you. Natsu, I don't care how you act, I'll always want to be with you. Through thick and thin."

Gray hugged Natsu close to him like he would never let him go. So the thoughts of Natsu growing flowers from his wrists and the blood from his veins water them wouldn't enter. So _Nirvana_ wouldn't play in the back of Natsu's brain. Gray was worried for Natsu, even if Natsu wasn't.

"Do you have Xanax on you right now?"

Natsu bit his thumb nail and shook his head, "No… No not on me. I mean, I'll be okay without them for a night. I've gone longer without them…"

"Shit, that sucks. Is this what you feel when you haven't taken your pills?" Gray asked.

Natsu nodded and rolled on top of Gray, sitting up on his hips. One of his hands locked with Gray's. Gray's eyes looked glassy, like he could cry. Natsu knew it was from the weed.

"I'm usually not that sporadic. At least I don't think I am," Natsu said, "I like it sometimes. It's like I get a buzz from the thrill of it or something for an hour. I feel warm, like a blanket is stuffed in me...Then I take some Xanax and-" Natsu snapped his fingers, "I'm back to normal."

Gray smirked and pushed back hair behind Natsu's ear, "You've never been normal, hot head," Gray said, his fingers grazing Natsu's cheek, under his lips "You're Natsu."

Natsu smiled gently and lowered his head against Gray's. Gray kissed Natsu's nose. Natsu felt better, he slowed down now. The earth was rotating slower than that thousand miles per hour. Natsu traced the lines in Gray's palms, sending tingles up Gray's arm.

Natsu, on rare occasions, would get sick of the taste of Xanax. He never felt like there was anything wrong with him while he was off of it. But right when he would take them again, he'd see where he went wrong. That Natsu himself was _wrong_. But for that short time, Natsu could feel like himself.

"Will you make me breakfast in the morning?" Natsu whispered.

Gray rolled over, moving on top of Natsu, towering above him, "All make you all the pancakes and bacon you want." Gray replied, pecking Natsu's lips.

Natsu smiled and held Gray's cheeks, holding him down for longer kisses. He needed deep kisses, they were his pills right now. Pills he would actually take. Sugar pills that gave him more caffeine than he needed but they sure did help. Gray pressed his lips to Natsu's jaw, unraveling his scarf. Brushing his bottom lip on Natsu's neck. Natsu breathed out, gripping Gray's shoulders.

"Do you think it would be okay if we went further?" Gray mumbled against Natsu's skin.

"Yes," Natsu said, airily, "Please."

Gray kissed the crook of Natsu's neck again and nipped. Natsu's body was getting hot, hotter than he had ever been with Gray. He was just kissing his body, nothing else but the simplest form of contact. Maybe it was the overdose of sugar, or the lack of Xanax. Gray licked up to Natsu's chin and kissed under it. Gray's hand moved to Natsu's belt and started to undo the metal buckle. Natsu opened his mouth slightly, Gray pressed his lips hard to Natsu's, causing him to moan. He helped Gray pull down his pants, kicking the fabric off. Gray rose up and took off his shirt, Natsu ran his hands down Gray's abs, feeling the chiseled creases and stiff surface.

Natsu licked his lips, "You look wonderful…"

Gray smiled, "And you look beautiful like always. Even if you're out of your fucking mind."

Gray leaned down and lifted up Natsu's button up. Having his hands glide down Natsu's sides as he kissed his stomach, Natsu tangled his fingers in Gray's hair.

"Don't you know what they say about sleeping with crazy?"

"They never said anything about Natsu Dragneel," Gray pulled down Natsu's underwear, spreading Natsu's legs, "And I sleep with him all the time."

Natsu grinned, even with his true behaviour showing, Gray didn't think there was anything wrong with Natsu. Gray sucked on Natsu's thigh, massaging Natsu's balls. Natsu's body tensed up and gasped, keeping his mouth open.

"Oh, f-fuck Gray," Natsu moaned, tipping back his head, "Shit."

Gray moved down and licked Natsu's shaft, holding down his hips. He flicked his tongue over the head, dropping down a long line of saliva before sucking. Natsu arched his back, the cool sensation of Gray's mouth on him. He felt like he was on cloud nine. Gray started to bob his head, breathed hard through his nose while Natsu's cock hit the back of his throat. He'd turn his mouth around Natsu's member quicker. Natsu bit his lip and muffled a moan. Pulling at Gray's hair. Natsu whined and turned his head to the side, curling his toes and raising his legs on Gray's back.

Gray pulled off, his mouth dripping with small drops pouring down on Natsu's swollen cock. moved to his knees and unbuttoned his pants, his dick bent in his jeans. He was incredibly hard, it must have been from touching Natsu so gracefully, like some kind of sensual dance. Gray revealed himself.

"I don't want to have sex," Gray mumbled, "I just want to feel you against me."

Natsu swallowed and nodded, "Want me to turn around?"

"I don't want you to but yeah, that'll be best."

Natsu turned around and got on his hands and knees, he spread his legs apart and dipped his back down.

"It's okay if I don't get a condom for this, right?" Gray asked.

"Just don't make a mess back there and you're in the clear."

Gray spread Natsu's ass,beating his cock between his cheeks. Natsu tilted back his head, it was like there were butterflies rattling between the bones in his body. Natsu put his knees together, trying to keep his hips popped out. Natsu's skin was hot against Gray's cock, he hunched over Natsu and started to rock. He hooked his arms under Natsu's body and kept his hands under Natsu's button up. Gray kissed the back of Natsu's neck, he nibbled the top of Natsu's ear.

"Touch yourself, baby," Gray mumbled, causing Natsu to shutter, "I want you to come too."

Natsu blushed and lowered his head, his shoulders scrunching up. Natsu bit his lip and moved his hand to his member. His cock was throbbing already, still wet from Gray's mouth and his precum. Natsu started to stroke himself while Gray shifted his hands up Natsu's shirt to his pecks. Gray rubbed Natsu's nipples in a circular motion, Natsu moaned and moved back against Gray.

Gray seethed slightly, he started to thrust and rub between Natsu's legs. Natsu gasped and bucked his hips forward in his own hand. Stroking himself quicker.

"Fuck, Gray," Natsu moaned, "This feels good. It may be better than sex."

Gray smirked and picked Natsu's upper body up. He kept his cock between Natsu's legs, moving harder, hearing skin starting to slap against Natsu's ass. Gray put his hand on top of Natsu's and made his pace become more energetic. He squeezed Natsu's pierced nipple between his fingers and caressed the tender skin. Gray kissed Natsu's neck and groaned, Natsu kept grinding his ass back against Gray.

"Shit, I'm gonna come." Gray grunted.

"Me too," Natsu moaned, curving his back, "Fuck, it's so good!"

Gray turned Natsu's head and kissed him hard, deeply. Forcibly parting Natsu's lips as he moved his tongue in Natsu's mouth. Gray moved his thrusts with the way his hand stroked Natsu. Gray bit Natsu's bottom lip. Natsu's eyes were half lidded, he was panting heavily. His cheeks a vivid pink. Natsu looked like he was enjoying a good high.

"I want you to come for me, baby," Gray breathed, facing Natsu still, "I want to see you do it."

"God, you're such a f-fucking pervert."

Gray snickered, "I can feel it now," Gray kissed Natsu's throat, "You're dripping so much I can feel it on my cock," Gray made Natsu rub his thumb over the tip, "You're going to come hard for me, huh?"

"S-shut up," Natsu quivered, his legs shook. He felt like he couldn't keep himself up for much longer, "I'll go crazy if you keep talking like that."

Gray grinned against Natsu's skin, "Good." Gray muttered.

Natsu gasped and put his hand on the back of Gray's neck, thrusting his hips in Gray's hand. Gray looked down over Natsu's shoulder, his flannel started to slip off. Natsu's body tensed up, he heard Gray moan close to his ear. Natsu clenched his teeth together and came intensely in a large amount. He immediately fell over, ass up in the air as he heaved. Gray finished stroking himself off and came over Natsu's lower back and cheeks. His cum felt hold on Natsu's flesh. It felt irresistible.

"Oh my god…" Natsu trailed.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Gray said, "I didn't mean to do that."

"No, no, it's fine… It feels really great," Natsu's voice still sounded lewd, "You were amazing."

Gray scratched the back of his neck and laid down on his stomach. Able to see Natsu's face, still red and eyes still dazed. Gray pushed back strands of hair from his face. Gray kissed Natsu's eyelid and pulled back.

"I'm gonna smoke a cigarette and start a bath up for you, okay? You got pretty messy. You packed pajamas right?"

Natsu nodded, "Yeah, in my bag," Natsu lifted up his body, "I can start up a bath for myself."

"That's fine. Towels are in the bathroom closet, try not to let Lyon see that messy bare ass of yours."

Natsu straightened out his flannel and tried to make it cover himself better. He opened the door but hung in the doorway.

"Hey Gray," Natsu said, "You didn't… You didn't think I was really weird yeah? When I'm off the Xanax?"

"Natsu, I get that this is what you're like off of it. And even if it's not what I'm used to… I'll try it understand it and I'll learn about it if you're ever off it again."

"Well, that's comforting."

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason, just wondering."

Natsu shut the door. Gray opened up his window, the stale air started to evacuate while Gray picked up a lighter. He got his pack of cigarettes and put on in his mouth. Gray lit the cigarette and inhale.

* * *

 _So I hope you guys enjoyed. Review, follow and favorite if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	11. Drowning Without Water

**Hey guys! I actually got to make a new chapter! Woohoo! Down side, it's pretty short but it's only a Gray and Natsu chapter thats really why it's short. Still, I love this chapter. I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters. Enjoy.**

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A nice hot bath was what Natsu needed. Something to keep his blood flowing in the right direction. His damp fingers ran through his bangs, the tub was too small so Natsu had to bend his knees to fit. Natsu had smelled all the shampoo bottles and body wash, the small bubbles from him borrowing the body wash foaming in the water. He was now relaxing, encasing himself in steam and the smell of Gray. Natsu's legs were starting to get red under the water, a pleasurable burning.

Natsu's fingertips traced the veins on his arm, dancing over the scar. Humming a forgotten song. The thought of that night at the rave traveled in his mind. The daze glided through, the sweet buzz coming to him again. God what a good high he got. Such a good buzz. Then hearing the anger in Lucy's voice, the disappointment on Zeref's face, the night fucking up right before his eyes all came with it. Natsu scrunched his eyes closed. His nails curled on the mark. He wished he could rip off that scar, see it torn from his skin and replaced with a mark he could talk about. A scar that he could tell Gray about.

More screw ups got into his head: getting caught shoplifting as a juvenile, coloring over his father's paperwork when he was seven. Screaming his lungs out one too many times and causing a noise complaint that was a hundred dollars, stealing Zeref's beer and passing out, selling Zeref's beer for drug money and passing out, going over to Gray's off his meds… The night he overdosed and was sent to the hospital. Where his secret history was released to complete strangers. Natsu opened his eyes, seeing that his nails had been dug into his arm. Little lines of blood formed. Natsu splashed water over his skin before more blood could bubble up. He sighed and rubbed his face.

"How could I be so stupid…" Natsu whispered.

Natsu shook his head. He lowered down underwater and tried to see what drowning was like. Maybe he should have taken his pills… He could always change his mind.

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Gray's cigarette was starting to become more filter than tobacco. He kept his head out of the window and blew smoke rings, his arms on the sill. He could see other people's houses lit up with a yellow glow, even at two in the morning. In one, he could see a pump women in pink fuzzy pj shorts and tee shirt. Making up a pick-and-mix bowl (maybe before a movie) while a taller active man sneaked up behind her, wrapping his big arms around her large waist. She seemed like she was giggling while his lips lingered on her neck, his hand moving to her breasts while she tried to feed him. She playfully wrestled with him, her frizzy hair going all over the place and he reveled the rolls over her stomach. Loving every inch of her. Gray smiled softly. He wondered what Natsu would do if he did that.

He thought about his hands against Natsu's chest, his crotch against his ass in pink shorts. How Natsu would probably complain and try to get out of the embrace but hoping Gray would hold on tight. Gray snicked, he wanted to cuddle with Natsu now. He wondered what was taking Natsu so long in the bath. He hoped Natsu didn't fall asleep in the tub. Gray finished off his cigarette and stubbed it on the side of the building. Gray heard something fall over off his end table. Natsu's bag had ended up in the bean bag chair, a few of his tapes, headphones, and a pack of _American Spirits_ fell out. Gray shrugged and closed the window, he walked over and picked up everything before getting the messenger bag. Gray heard something rattle inside the bag, Gray raised an eyebrow. He opened up the bag. On top was a shirt, Gray could see a pair of jeans and maybe a sweater. His cassette player presumably underneath all of his clothes. He wanted to see what made the rattle when he picked it up. Maybe it was just Natsu's cassette player, but cassette players don't make noises like that.

Gray started to dig his hand around in the bag when he knew he shouldn't have. Gray picked up the folded shirt, there was a bump that didn't belong to the fabric. Gray raised his eyebrows and untucked the sleeves and out popped 'goodies'. Gray held the pill bottle in his hand, his mouth went dry. The orange plastic and label couldn't hide the fact that Xanax was inside. His fingers clenched tightly around the bottle till his knuckles went white.

Gray heard the door close, Natsu was wearing an over sized _Sonic Youth_ tee-shirt, boxer briefs underneath with his old clothes in his hands.

"Lyon is passed out wasted while watching _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ , wanna go and draw on his face?" Natsu asked. Gray hadn't said anything yet. Natsu dropped his clothes, "Hello? Earth to douchebag? Are you listening to me?"

Gray chewed his cheek and raised up his hand, shaking the pill bottle. Natsu became pale and his lungs forgot how to breath. He felt like he was drowning, but this time Natsu couldn't pull his head up from under the water.

"I guess you didn't forget your pills," Gray said turning to face Natsu. Obviously pissed off to no end, "What the fuck is that all about?"

"Where did you find that?"

"Where do you think? In your bag," Gray walked over to Natsu and shoved the pill bottle in his chest, "Why would you tell me you left them at home?"

"What the hell were you doing in my bag?" Natsu snapped.

"Your bag fell over and some shit fell out of it. It doesn't really matter. Now answer my goddamn question."

"I-It must have slipped my mind when I was having my manic episode," Natsu lied, frantic, "I really didn't think I had them. Oops."

"Bull shit, Natsu," Gray said, frustrated, "You hid it in your clothes, you tried to fucking hide them."

"No! No,I-I didn't I swear."

Gray sighed deeply and pinched his brow. He sat down on the bed. Natsu couldn't stop finicking with his fingers. Natsu kept cracking his knuckles. He felt like a child being yelled at, because he was acting like one. A kid who didn't want to take his medicine.

"Why did you think it was fine to not take your pills? You need those, don't you? You should have taken them once I had figured out you were off your Xanax."

"I just… I just thought that- that maybe-"

"That what, Natsu?"

"That maybe I would be fine if I was around you and not on the Xanax," Natsu said, his body felt jittery but he didn't shake. All the water had dropped down into his ankles, making his feet heavy. He didn't like getting caught this way, "I don't know, everytime I'm with you I feel better… And it did work, I felt so much better after I spazzed out," Natsu lowered his head, "You didn't make me feel like a freak. Just when I didn't feel like a freak when I told you why I take them."

"Natsu, what is normal for you?" Gray asked. That was a good question, "You're not an average person exactly."

Natsu softly laughed and threaded his fingers through his hair, he scanned over the marks on his arm. He wasn't happy so why was he laughing? Gray licked his lips and shook his head.

"Natsu, you're really fucking difficult right now," Gray felt tired, his high was fading fast, "You're aggravating, even."

Gray seemed fed up in a sleepy way. Like he sounded like he didn't care enough to that bothered Natsu. He swallowed, the smell of Gray's body wash was too strong now, it upset his stomach and made his head hurt.

"Look, I know…." Natsu took a deep breath, "I know I fucked up, I fucked up really bad around you a-and I didn't mean to. I didn't want you to see me be a freak or to find the pill bottle, I just wanted a nice night with you…," Natsu's hands shook as they went to the side of his head, "But I'm such a screw up that I can't have a nice night planned with you."

"Natsu shut up," Gray said and stood up, gripping his shoulders tightly, becoming eyelevel with Natsu, "You are not a fuck up. You are my wonderful boyfriend. My wonderful, stupid, sensitive, hot headed-"

"Okay now you're just looking to piss me off." Natsu interrupted.

Gray hugged Natsu, holding on to his shirt for dear life it seemed. He was worried, he was too worry to argue with Natsu over this. Natsu sunk into him and closed his eyes.

"You're my boyfriend. You're not supposed to be flawless," Gray whispered and pulled back, tilting up Natsu's chin, "And don't you ever call yourself a fuck up again or I will kick your ass, got it?"

Natsu bit his lip hard and pressed his head in Gray's chest, "No promises."

Gray rubbed Natsu's back and kissed the top of his head. His hair wasn't as spiked as usually and was still damp.

"Take your pills and we'll go to bed." Gray said

"What?" Natsu asked and lifted up his head fast, "You want me to take them right now?"

"Well yeah, that's kinda what I just told you to do."

"But, I don't want to right now," Natsu said, pushing back from Gray's chest, "I-I don't want to."

"You don't want to? Natsu, you have to, you want to feel better don't you?"

"I feel fine right now, Gray," Natsu pushed his bangs out of his eyes, "I'm all good, I can go to bed without them."

"No, you aren't fine and don't try convincing me that you are. We've talked about your condition before. I know a little bit about what's going on in your head," Gray sighed, he took the pill bottle from Natsu's hand and unscrewed the cap, "You're not… Well, Natsu. Here take them." Gray held out two pills.

Natsu swallowed. He felt cold. Like his body wasn't insulated at all or that all the blood in his body somehow left. Natsu gripped his tees shirt, his fist shook.

"I'm not well?" Natsu mumbled, "What the hell would you know about being well huh? What lets you classify when something is wrong with me and when something isn't?"

"Natsu, don't start this and just take them."

"You know, I did this because you seemed to be okay with the fact that I'm fucking sad most of the time or that I become manic and I take fucking pills to numb myself and maybe I get sick of it some days!" Natsu exclaimed, stepping forward, "I thought since I did let you know what's wrong with me, cut me wide fucking open and taking you to a place that I don't even like to be. I _let_ you understand me. Without me, you'd never be able to get under my skin," Natsu's teeth gritted together, his jaw was tense, "I'm so sick of people trying to get to know me, trying to know what is going on inside me. And I let you in because everyone thought you'd be good for me. Lucy, Zeref, Erza, they all think you're great for me. You were better than Xanax, better than partying. They looked at you like you were a cure."

Natsu shook his head and walked over to the wall, pressing his hands against the surface. The bones in his hands were replaced with steel, all his bones hurt. His veins felt like they had all popped, no strings connecting anymore.

"I can't have all my friends be my doctors," Natsu muttered, his voice cracking. He was pissed, he was uncomfortable, Natsu felt horrible, "Some people weren't meant to be saved. Not everyone is supposed to be the lifeguard in the pool or the cop saving civilians or the doctors giving prescriptions… I'm not drowning… I-I'm not drowning…"

Natsu felt Gray's arms wrap around his waist, he was too irritated to reject maybe he was too vulnerable. Gray put his head in the crook of Natsu's neck, hands trailing up his chest, squeezing him.

"Maybe you're right," Gray said against Natsu's ear, "Maybe I have no fucking idea what you go through but I'm not clueless. I pay attention to you I don't force my way in, I just want to be there. I want to know you're healthy, that you're happy."

"I'm healthy and happy around you."

"No, Natsu, you aren't, that's bullshit. I wish it worked that was because if it did, I'd show you ten thousand percent more love than I shit like that doesn't just go away when you're with someone, it's still there, I can see it. It's in your eyes, the sound of your voice, I still see that you aren't 'better',It's okay not to be okay," Gray kissed the crease of Natsu's neck, "I don't think you need to be saved, I just think you need help. There's nothing wrong with needing a little help, baby. That's what I'm here for."

Gray's voice soothed Natsu, like he was turning into goo in Gray's arms. He pressed his forehead to the wall. Natsu was too soft when it came to Gray, he was under baked like a mushy brownie was the only way Natsu could describe the feeling.

Natsu's mouth trembled, tears welled up but nothing came out. He cupped his face in his hands and bent over more. All of his weight thrown against Gray's arms.

"I'm so sorry… I'm so stupid to ever think going off my pills… I'm so sorry, Gray."

Gray tipped up Natsu's chin and kissed his cheek, "Ain't no sorry, baby. Ain't no sorry…" Gray nestled against Natsu, "Take your pills in the morning, will yeah you little bastard?"

Natsu giggled slightly, "Yeah, asshole," Natsu started to stand up straight, back still against Gray, "I'll take them with my pancakes."

Gray kissed the top of Natsu's head, "That's my good boy," Gray turned Natsu around and lifted him up, grabbing his thighs. Natsu laughed, wrapping his arms and legs around Gray, "My perfectly imperfect good boy."

Natsu smashed his lips against Gray's, squeezing his legs around Gray's hips. He felt Gray grin, that made him smile.

"You're such a fucking nerd." Natsu said, putting his hands on Gray's cheeks as he lowered himself back to the ground.

Gray put his hands on Natsu's waist and picked him up, turning Natsu towards the bed. Natsu gasped and laughed as he was tossed to the bed, Gray pinned him, Natsu couldn't control his rush of giggles.

"Get off, dork, we're supposed to go to bed."

Gray kissed Natsu deeply, making his lips part. Natsu's arms were above his head, body stretched out underneath Gray. The weight of Gray's hips on Natsu's. Natsu nipped Gray's bottom lip. He trailed his finger over Gray's lips.

"Their swollen…" Natsu mumbled.

"What?" Gray said, with a half chuckle.

"Your lips, their swollen because of me."

"Yours are too," Gray rested his hand on Natsu's thigh, "Maybe I should make it up to you for making them like that."

"Maybe I should make up this whole night to you."

Gray closed the gap between their mouths, silencing Natsu. Natsu kept his palm over Gray's heart, feeling the rise in it's beating. They stayed up later than they should have having sex and making out. They weren't loud, they wanted to only be heard by each other. They wanted their bodies to be mould together like trees. Their legs locking and becoming roots, arms become branches, and skin become bark.

Natsu wish he could have said something to Gray. Something that would be what songwriters sing about when they wanted to sound deep.

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 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow and favorite if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	12. Honey Bee

**Hey guys! New chapter, woohoo! I really like this chapter and I hope that you guys do too! I do not own Fairy Tail nor the characters used. Enjoy.**

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And Gray's band sounded like all the slow songs from _Radiohead_. Natsu didn't think he'd ever see Gray's band play before, he never was really that interested in it. He just liked it when Gray would string his bass without an amplifier and only the TV noises as back up. Where Gray was making up music as he'd go and doze off, like playing was a sleeping pill. It was always soothing, something that could physically be grabbed onto. Natsu was in love with the strings on the bass and the fingers that would play.

It all started in the morning.

Gray was already up and in the kitchen, cooking pancakes and opening packages of bacon. The pancake batter soaked up the grease that was previously made in the pan. Natsu woke up after getting a wiff from the smell in the kitchen. Natsu opened his bottle of Xanax and popped two pills. He needed coffee soon, the pills made him feel groggy in the morning so it would only be a matter of time. Natsu saw Gray shirtless and in navy sweatpants, a smiley face patch was on the thigh. Natsu tapped Gray's ass while he reached up for a mug in the cabinet and yawned, Gray smiled.

"Mornin, Natsu." Gray greeted.

Natsu poured a cup of coffee for himself, "Good morning, babe," Natsu sighed and scratched the back of his neck, "Those pancakes smell good."

"Thanks, you do know I have amazing cooking skills."

"I wouldn't say they're amazing but that one day when we were blazed-"

"How specific." Gray interrupted and flipped the last pancake.

"Shut up," Natsu continued, "And you made some mac n' cheese for me. God that was some good shit. But not amazing."

Gray shook his head and laughed, turning down the heat on the stove. He turned to kiss Natsu, tasting his warm morning breath before pulling back.

"Take your pills this morning?" Gray asked.

"As promised." Natsu replied, sipping his coffee.

"Thanks," Gray sat a plate down in front of Natsu, "Breakfast is served."

Natsu looked down at his plate. He almost wanted to sigh but instead his leaned his cheek on his palm. The fat on his face covered his eye slightly.

"Gray, what is this?" Natsu asked.

"A nice breakfast. Pancakes, bacon, I put some powdered sugar and strawberries on the pancakes. Thought you might like that."

"You know that's not what I mean."

The pancakes were stacked and strawberries were in the shape of hearts. Powder sugar surrounding the small hearts. The bacon was set up on the side like a smile, small bits being the eyebrows. A long strip being the curved mouth.

"Why the fuck does my breakfast look like how a mom would cook breakfast for their kid going to school for the first day?"

"Because my baby deserves lots of love in the morning." Gray said and pressed his lips to Natsu's cheek, giving him an unexpected raspberry. Gray pulled back and Natsu groaned as he rubbed leftover saliva on his cheek.

"You're the biggest fucking nerd in the whole world, why am I with you?"

"I ask myself the same question with you everyday," Gray said and sat across from Natsu, "Now eat your breakfast."

Natsu slumped down in his seat and chewed on a piece of fat on the bacon. Maybe he did need a lot of love, it may have been Gray's way of making up for yesterday. Fruity hearts… Crispy bacon… Sugar sweeter than Gray's lips. It all made him dissolve into a sloshy liquid, yet he drank bitter coffee . Gray poured syrup on his pancakes and bacon.

"So I'm thinking about taking you home at two," Gray said, "Is that okay?"

"Two?" Natsu swallowed his food, "Why so early? You aren't sick of me already are you?"

"No, of course not. You keep me interested all the time," Gray grinned, "I just have a show today. I forgot all about it and I want to make sure we all have our shit together."

"Oh, your band is playing. Where at?"

"A college bar up in Cleveland," Gray cut up a few squares of his pancakes, "It's slam poetry night. We get to go on after that."

Natsu nodded "I never asked but who's in your band anyway?"

"Well, there's Loki, he sings most the time. Cana plays drums."

"Cana? You mean the girl who lets you buy drinks?"

"That's the one," Gray smirked, "How do you think I became her favorite minor? I let her join my awesome band."

"I thought you just fucked her a few times and acted sweet to her."

"Nah, I just made a deal that I'd buy her a kick ass drumset if she let me have drinks whenever she worked and she'd play in my band."

"Wow, that must have cost you huh?" Natsu picked up another piece of bacon, "How much?"

"None that concerns you. And then there's Elfman on the guitar."

"Wait, Elfman? Elfman Staruss?" Natsu asked, "Big dude, white hair, intimidating mother fucker but actaully a cinnoman roll?"

"Yeah? But how did you know that?"

"Him and his sister graduated from my school last year. Mirajane, that girl I was drawing, thats his older sister."

"No shit," Gray said, "I've never been able to meet his sister. He talks about her all the time but has never shown me a picture or anything. Must be because she's so hot."

Natsu shrugged, "Understandable. He was rather protective of her. I haven't seen him in forever. Mirajane never told me he was in a band."

"Small world."

"Ain't that the truth."

"What are you called?"

"Well they call me Gray, what do they call you?"

"Cut the dad jokes, please. I won't get them," Natsu sighed and grabbed the maple syrup bottle, "Your band, what's your band called?"

" _Deliora._ " Gray mumbled over his chewing.

"Sick. Can I come?"

"Come to the gig? I mean, yeah sure if you wanna. You aren't busy or anything today?" Gray asked.

"Okay, now it really feels like you're trying to get rid of me."

Gray chuckled, "No, no I mean… I'm a little embarrassed. I'm afraid you might think my band is shit. Then you might think I'm a total loser."

Natsu seemed to notice that Gray was a bit self conscious of this. He was afraid of Natsu looking at him in a way where he wasn't proud of him. Maybe that had something to do with Gray's past. Natsu leaned over and kissed Gray's juicy lips and pinched his cheek.

"I already think you're a loser, it can only get better from here," Natsu mumbled, he felt Gray's lips curl up,"So can I come?"

"Depends, will you wear a skimpy outfit and think I'm cool about being in a band?"

"Not happening."

"Then yes, you can come along," Gray smiled, "Need to call Zeref or anything?"

"Just make sure I'm home by two in the morning and he'll be fine with it."

Natsu popped a heart shape strawberry in his mouth and hummed. He licked the juice off his lips before getting into his pancakes. He felt the tingles of sugar race down his throat. It felt good.

"Have your I.D?" Gray asked.

Natsu nodded, "Brought it just in case we went out anywhere."

"Good, well get ready and be on the road by two. We should get to Cleveland by four or five."

"Can your truck handle the ride?"

"Don't worry, I got her fixed up. She'll work just fine."

* * *

They got to the college bar at about five to set everything up. The boys saw Cana in a station wagon with a few parts of her drums strapped on top of her car. She wore a black thin, long sleeve crop top and a few silver necklaces around her neck. She had on tight jeans that looked like they were apart of her flesh. Gray got the drums down while Cana teased Natsu. Natsu saw he look in her cocky eyes that said to him 'I'll never tell him about that night,' somehow.

It was called _Carnival_. The bar was dim, white christmas bulb lights were strung up along the ceiling. The booths were different, they looked like grimey carousel seats that adults would sit on. Some had scratched birds or clowns on the sides of them. The there was a small section where people were mingling and smoking looked like a fair game. Where people would shoot water guns at clowns mouths and whoever could pop the balloon first won. But balloons didn't blow up anymore and the clowns looked like they had a drinking problem. The bar probably looked the coolest, they had a red and white striped big top that made loud sounds along with ballerina like music. The bar stools were the carousel horses with plush seats on the staddles.

It was the trippiest bar Natsu had been to. It was so awesome. Loki and Elfman were already setting up their instruments off the small stage so they wouldn't get in the way of the poetry geeks. Natsu seemed to see the pattern for everyone's outfit in the band. Everyone wore some sort of black clothing. Cana her crop top, Elfman his jeans, Loki with his black jacket and tie, and Gray with his leather jacket. As Natsu brushed up with Elfman and getting drinks for the band, he sipped on a hard lemonade. The only thing Gray let him drink. Natsu sat on one of the horses as they hid away their instruments. Cana proceeded to get drunk while the boys all talked as they waited for the poetry slam to be over.

Everyone who went up to do their poetry all sounded the same to Natsu. They all talked about water and compared it to a women at least once and how they used many words to replace the adjective 'soft'. Most people stood up around their tables, staying silent and respectful to the writers who were pouring out their 'souls' to complete strangers. Some did poems about body image and society, equal rights, the loss of love, mental illness. All that shit. It all seemed to run and Natsu sat in one the booths however. Gray sneaked kisses on Natsu's neck, pulling down his scarf every time. Natsu tried to think about how he would describe Gray's kisses in a poem. At around ten, everyone had finished and with booze in their body, _Deliora_ was about to go on. The small crowd started to feel like they were getting excited. A low rumble of claps started as the stage got brighter, the amps were plugged up, the mic was on, and Gray's fingers were ready to play. Natsu stayed sitting in the booth though, the lemonade was starting to hurt his tongue.

Natsu felt like he was listening to one of his cassette tapes but blaring. Loki's voice was somber, like a mumble of disinterest. A voice Natsu loved to hear singing. The drums were loud but somehow still cradling. The guitar was lovely and the bass complemented it well. Natsu still thought it was still lame, maybe just because Gray was apart of it. But he clapped after every song, Gray smiled over at Natsu every chance he got. He looked nervous still for some reason, even when an hour and a half passed by. There was a song called _Honey Bee_ Gray got to sing by himself near the end of the set while everyone started to pack up. Natsu never thought he had heard something so beautiful before, but it sounded like it was painful. It sent chills down his spin.

 _She's been growing weeds_

 _And smoking the green,_

 _Chasing down memories_

 _She can't explain,_

 _Riding her car towards outer space._

 _Leaving her flowers behind._

 _And I'm tired of making plastic bottles out of clay,_

 _Creating something I can't make._

 _She's left her flowers to become something_

 _We can't explain._

The middle lyrics seemed to not make sense unless you had heard it before. Natsu could have sworn he heard Gray hum the tune before, maybe while making breakfast. Natsu closed his eyes and let the words sway his head gently. He felt like he was at the bottom of the ocean but all of his insides were floating. Gray learned how to play the song on Elfman's borrowed guitar acoustically. After the set was over, Gray hopped off stage, earning applause and a thank you from the owner and that they would get paid at twelve.

Gray high fived Loki and Cana afterwards. Natsu moved from the booth towards the stage.

"We kicked ass!"Elfman roared.

"Hell yes we did," Gray said, smacking Cana's hand and gripping tightly after, "We always do awesome."

"You fuckin' know it," Cana said, "I need a drink. Who wants shots?"

"Yo! I do," Loki said, "I want to talk to those cute girls at the bar."

"I'll take a shot." Elfman agreed

The three walked away and all the was left were Natsu and Gray. Gray grinned and moved towards Natsu, putting his hands on his lower back, almost on his ass. Natsu was pulled in close to Gray. He smelled like sweat, it glistened off his forehead.

"How were we?" Gray asked, "You liked it right?"

Natsu hummed trailed his finger over Gray's bottom lip, "You sounded like you guys are trying to be deep music faggots," Natsu held Gray's cheeks and licked Gray's lip, "I like it."

Gray smiled and kissed Natsu gently, squeezing Natsu's ass. He just wanted to feel acceptance from Natsu. Gray would only receive it in a cheeky manor. Natsu tasted like sour fruit, the two flicked their tongues together. Natsu sucked on Gray's tongue and pulled back.

"Do you wanna see me do some shots?" Gray asked.

"Mmm, I think I have a better idea," Natsu said, "Come to the bathroom with me?"

Gray tiled his head to the side, "What, need to take a piss? You don't need me to follow you like a girl."

"Oh I think I can show you what I need you in there for," Natsu gripped Gray's collar and pulled him along, "Now come on little rock star."  
Gray looked back to see if anyone would notice them leaving, but they were laughing too hard and slamming back shots to see them leave. Natsu made his way through the crowd and pushed open the door, to their surprise no one was in the bathroom. Written all over the walls and dirty mirrors were sentences or phone numbers all in different colored pens. Something to tell anyone who entered that they were there. That they would be remembered. Even to strangers.

Immediately, Natsu pushed Gray against the wall. His knee between Gray's legs, making Gray part his lips. Their breath was hot and their mouths were moist. Gray put his hands back on Natsu's ass and squeezed harshly, Natsu kissed under Gray's chin and trailed down his neck.

"You got so sweaty on stage," Natsu mumbled, licking up his skin, "It's disgusting."

"Yet you lick me like you want me."

Natsu gripped the necklaces around Gray's neck, "Because I do want you. I always crave you."

Gray closed his eyes and tipped back his head as Natsu nibbled on his neck.

"You looked so good on stage," Natsu said, "You sounded so hot."

"Did it turn you on, baby?" Gray asked.

"Totally."

"Even if I sounded like a total music fag?"

Natsu nodded and dragged Gray over to one of the bathroom stalls, he pushed Gray in and locked the door. Natsu dropped to his knees and lifted up Gray's shirt slightly, he pressed his tongue to Gray's little patch of dark hair before planting a deep kiss.

"Is this what you planned to do in the bathroom?" Gray smirked.

"And other things," Natsu replied, "God, you smell so musky. It's driving me fucking bonkers."

"You're so weird sometimes, Natsu," Gray said, pushing back Natsu's bangs as he undid his pants. He took out his cigarette pack and put a cigarette in his mouth, "I don't know anyone who's gotten turned on by a smell before."

"But it smells so good. You stink like a man."

"That's not really an attractive smell you know?" Gray raised his eyebrows and lit his cigarette.

"It is to me," Natsu pulled at Gray's little boxer opening with his teeth, "It's like your natural scent or something."

Gray was already half hard, Natsu wrapped his mouth around the head and started to suck. Gray inhaled smoke and exhaled with a deep moan. Smoke filled the small stall, exiting the from above the door. Gray gripped Natsu's locks tightly, he swallowed and took another drag as Natsu bobbed his head deeper.

"There's nothing better than a blowjob and a cigarette." Gray mumbled.

Natsu looked up at Gray, flattening his tongue on the shaft as he swirled his mouth around Gray's cock. Gray groaned and rocked his hips forward slightly, Natsu started to drool as he bobbed his head faster. Gray bit his lip and whined, Natsu moved his mouth down deep, hollowing out his cheeks as he took Gray all the way. Swallowing with tears building in the corner of his eyes. Gray moaned and kept Natsu's head down for a few moments. Natsu struggled to pull off and gasped, panting with spit dribbling down his chin. Natsu wiped his mouth and eyes as he caught his breath. Gray dragged his thumb over Natsu jaw and over his bottom lip. Gray held out the cigarette, Natsu took a deep hit and closed his eyes, smoke came from his nose.

"Thanks,I needed that." Natsu said.

"No problem," Gray stubbed the rest of the cigarette on the toilet paper dispenser, "Do you want to fuck a rock star tonight?"

"No, I want to fuck one right now," Natsu stood up, he pulled out a small packet and a condom from his back pocket, "Let's do it, we have time."

"You want to fuck in a bathroom? Can't you wait till we get to your house or something?"

"What does 'I want to fuck not' do you not understand? No I can't wait. Come on, I came ready with lube and protection."

"You seem a little too prepared for something like this. Did you plan for this?"

"With you I always want to plan for an emergency fuck."  
"What if someone comes in?"

"I won' be embarrassed," Natsu pecked Gray's lips quick and unbuttoned his own pants, "They can always use the bathroom later," Natsu pressed his hips against Gray's, he was hard, "Please?"

Gray bit his lip and held Natsu's waist, his face close to Natsu's as they grind against each other. Natsu moaned, "How can I say no to that face?" Gray breathed and kissed Natsu roughly.

Natsu grinned and continued to take the rest of his pants off. He passed the packet of lube and the condom to Gray. Gray slid off his jacket and sat it over the toilet lid. He lubed up and put on the condom. He grabbed Natsu's thighs and lifted him up against the wall, the stall shook. Natsu kept his legs spread and had his arms around Gray's neck while Gray lined up.

"Are you going to be loud?" Gray asked, the head rubbing Natsu's entrance.

"Fuck yes, I am."

"That's not necessarily a good thing."

"Who gives a fuck?" Natsu said.

"I do, it's a public place, dumb ass. I don't want to get caught fucking in a bathroom."

Natsu rolled his eyes, "I've had sex in many bathrooms and I haven't gotten in trouble once yet for it."

Gray sighed he didn't want to think about Natsu with other guys. Gray pressed in, "If we get caught, I'm breaking up with you."

Natsu moaned after Gray got his cock all the way in. Natsu pulled Gray's shirt, hugging him tightly. Gray started to ram inside of Natsu deeply, causing little puffs of air to slip out of Natsu's mouth. Natsu buried his head in Gray's shoulder, the stall wall shook with each of Gray's thrusts. Moving quicker after time, Natsu lifted up his legs higher. His back moving down the wall and only able to hang on from digging his nails in Grays back. His hands had slipped in Gray's shirt. Scratching down Gray's shoulders.

Natsu heard Gray groan, his thrusts became harsher. Gray seemed more into it when Natsu's nails got involved. The piercing was rubbing inside Natsu. That head piercing was going to kill him one day by giving him the best orgasm of his life. He was just waiting for the day.

Gray hiked Natsu back up again, panting heavily.

"Christ, you're heavy." Gray mumbled.

"Asshole, am not."

"I'm the one lifting you, I think I would know."

"How weak are you?" Natsu asked, airily, "I'm a hundred and sixty-five pounds."

Gray glared, "I bench two hundred, dick hole," Gray started to lower Natsu's legs and roughly turn him around, Natsu's face pressed against the wall, "Now be nice or I won't fuck you till you come."

Gray's cock teased between Natsu's ass cheeks, slapping the entrance a few time. Natsu whined and squirmed, it felt good. Too good, Natsu moaned and tipped back his head.

"Okay, okay. I'll be nice." Natsu promised.

Gray smirked and slammed back into Natsu. Natsu gasped loudly, one of Gray's hands were on Natsu's hip and the other under Natsu's shirt. He made his way up Natsu's chest, pinching down on Natsu's nipple. Natsu stretched his neck and moaned, pressing against the wall. Gray slapped Natsu's ass, the stinging sensation running up Natsu's back.

"N-oh fuck." Natsu seethed.

"Move your ass back, baby," Gray muttered and moved faster, kissing Natsu's neck, "Move like my good boy."

Natsu eagerly started to move back with Gray's thrust. Gray's moan rumbled,he rubbed the mark where he hit Natsu's ass. Natsu spread his legs apart more, he closed his eyes. Trying to catch his breath. Natsu gasped when Gray picked Natsu up by the hinge of his knees, now Natsu's feet were against the wall. Penetrating Natsu profoundly. Natsu cried out, grabbing the wall.

"O-oh fuck Gray, I'm close!" Natsu exclaimed.

Natsu's toes curled, his breathing, along with Gray's thrusts becoming rapid. Gray's nails accidentally clawed in Natsu's calfs. Natsu could care less. It was hard to distinguish moans from breathing. Gray swallowed and moved harder.

"Are you going to come for me, Natsu?" Gray asked, nibbling Natsu's ear.

"Yes! I'm gonna come!"

Gray pounded, ruggedly in Natsu. Slow though against his prostate. Gray squeeze his eyes shut and tried to hold it in until Natsu came. It was only a matter of time now. Natsu tightened around Gray over and over again. He bucked his hips up and moaned before coming on the wall. Gray gasped and came soon after. Gray dropped Natsu's legs. Natsu could barely stand up, his weight shifted on the wall. Gray brushed his lip on the back of Natsu's neck before pulling out and wrapping his arms around Natsu's stomach. Hands still moving over Natsu's skin intimately.

"Why do you always get me to do stuff like this?" Gray asked.

"Because I'm hot and you like me."

"I like you a lot… Like a lot lot."

"Gray…"Natsu whispered and turned his head.

Gray pressed his lips to Natsu's gently. He squeezed Natsu's stomach, pressing close against him. The bathroom door swung open.

"Fucking finally you guys stopped moaning, I thought I was going to piss my pants," It was Loki. The two boys heard his pants unzip, "Can you guys please get out of here so everyone knows the can use the bathroom now?"

Gray's cheeks became red as he smothered his face in the crook of his neck. Natsu snickered.

"Are we breaking up now?"

"Don't. Fucking. Talk to me…"

* * *

It was about two in the morning and no one was on the road. Rarely Gray and Natsu would see a pair of headlights. Natsu called Zeref before leaving the bar that he'd be home later. Zeref was kind of piss that he didn't call him earlier but he said he would see him in the morning. Now that they had time, they decided to take a pit stop

Gray had a blanket in the back of his truck and laid it in the bed of the truck. He parked off the side of the road in the grass. He wasn't in the mood to drive, at least not for a little while. They both combined their packages of cigarettes so their was a mixture of _American Spirits_ and _Paul Mauls_. Gray laid his head on his jacket and Natsu used his cardigan. Natsu tried to practice making smoke circles while stars floated above their heads.

"Do you think those poetry dorks at the bar were any good?" Gray asked, randomly.

Natsu scrunched his nose and shook his head, "Nah, they were just some wannabes who wanted to show how much 'artsier' they are than anyone else is," Natsu flicked off ash, "They just want people to look at them and listen to them and then just to get off stage and say 'ugh, no one understands me. I'm so different', what a load of shit."

Gray laughed slightly, "Well that's very cold of you."

Natsu shrugged, "I mean, it's true. They were all trying too hard and trying to tell everyone how hurt they are."

"Maybe they are. I mean, some of those poems were about depression and I mean… You know about that. Can't you relate?"

Natsu took another drag, "That doesn't mean anything. They just talked about how their depression was crippling and wanted to die but they just didn't do it," Natsu swallowed, "No one wants to hear about that. I don't want to hear about that."

Gray turned his head and looked at Natsu. He seemed uneasy having a conversation on this subject. Gray's eyelids felt heavy just by looking at Natsu, the moon glowing off his skin, giving him this pale color. He licked his lips.

"Have you ever tried it though?" Gray asked.

"Tried what?"

"You know…I know it might be hard but you told me before you wanted to die. Have you ever tried to kill yourself?"

Natsu scowled, his arm started to burn. He turned his head to face Gray, "No… Not on purpose anyway," His cigarette was almost ash now. Natsu lit another cigarette immediately after tossing the other one, "I um… The night before I went to the doctors and the figured out I had depression I was in my room. I had brought some pills from a party a while ago and Zeref wasn't home. I knew I wasn't going to go to sleep so I just started to take them. I started to eat them like candy one after another. I didn't think about it… I didn't realise I was taking too many. When I went to the hospital the nurses and doctors thought I tried to kill myself. I just went along with it, I wanted to do what would get me out of there faster," Natsu rolled his tongue with a small laugh, "How stupid, right?"

"Natsu, that's not stupid."

"Oh yeah? It not stupid to eat pills you know nothing about and take so many of them you OD and end up in a hospital where everyone thinks you tried to kill yourself? Even you brother? Yeah, because that's not at all what a bright person would do."

"Hey, don't say that. You're really smart. You were just in a really bad place at the time. You didn't have any help," Gray's voice was dull, tracing his finger on Natsu's arm, "And I mean, you don't do anything like that now. Because you're better."

"Tsk, better? Do you know what the definition of better is? Of superior quality or excellence. I'm not better, I'm just okay."

"No way," Gray moved his weight to his wrists and rose up, "You're not even close to okay. You're fucking rad. You're smart, you're funny, you're an amazing artist," Gray cupped Natsu's cheek, "And you're beautiful. Very, very beautiful, I can't think of anything more appealing than seeing your face. Especially in the morning, like when I wake before you and your eyes are closed," Gray smiled, "And you wrinkle your nose and your face is so still," Gray kissed Natsu's forehead, "And then when you smile-"

"Okay, I get it," Natsu giggled, "You like me a lot and think I'm great."

"We're you not listening to a single thing I said? You're not just great," Gray locked his hands with Natsu's, "You're better."

Natsu smiled and closed his eyes. He took a last drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out. Gray pressed his lips against Natsu's, the smoke was passed into Gray's mouth. The smoke came out of Gray's nose. Gray pulled back and looked at Natsu, he brushed his thumb over Natsu's cheek.

"I love you." Gray muttered.

Natsu tilted his head, he seemed confused, "What?"

Gray inhaled, "I… I love you."

"That's. That's what I thought you said," Natsu breathed, "You love me. Do you really love me? Like are you sure?"

"No Natsu, I just said it for fun. Yes, I mean it."

"Oh…" Natsu trailed, looking down. Gray's breath trembled. He was afraid now.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sprung that up on you like that. It's so dumb-"

"Would you… Would you think it would be weird if I said 'I love you too' back?"

"What? No,no! I think it would be great," Gray said, surprised, "Only if you really mean it though. It shouldn't be forced or anything."

"Yeah, no, it would be real. It's just… I've never said it to anyone like, other than Lucy or Zeref. It's a little different."

"Different is okay," Gray put Natsu's hair behind his ear, "I know that you can do different."

Natsu's eyes looked like a doe's. Startlingly wide, glistening from the sky's light. But he wasn't scared. Natsu kissed Gray's cheek.

"I love you," Natsu breathed, "I...I really actually love you."

Gray grinned, brightly. He pressed his lips hard against Natsu's lips, "I love you too Natsu," Gray started to kiss all over Natsu's face, Natsu giggled. His face turned pink, "I love you too."

"Gray stop it!" Natsu laughed.

"I can't, you make me so happy!"

Natsu moved his face back and curled up against Gray. Gray pulled Natsu into his chest and kissed the top of his head. Natsu could feel Gray's heart beat against his breast bone. It was relaxing, like a smooth melody. Gray was so excited, his arms were strong, and Natsu felt secure. He didn't think Gray would leave him, Gray was too happy to let go.

Gray felt the same way. He felt accept. That must have been why they love each other.

"Say it one more time." Gray said.

Natsu softly smiled, "I love you, Gray."

Gray hummed and squeezed Natsu, "I love you too."

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. Helps me out alot. See you next update._


	13. Fighting with Colors

**Hey guys, new chapter! Woo! So this will be the last short chapter for awhile. Next one will be longer, I swear it will! I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

Gray's touch was always cold, and that was a fact. His chilling brush always sent shivers down Natsu's back. Gray would argue that Natsu's flesh was too hot, that his body was too warm compared to everyone else. They were probably both extreme opposites, but their stubbornness wouldn't let them change their views and agree they were at different temperatures. It was something Gray randomly thought about while watching Natsu paint. And Natsu must have thought the same thing.

He had made a small "studio" in the basement of the apartment building. The super let him put some supplies down there as long as he would touch any of the equipment while he was down there. Natsu only painted there so he had a few canvases and his easel. He put his paints and water in tin cans on a little table. The specks of different colors on the cans all mixed together with rust. The lights were dim and a frail orange shade filmed the room. There was a mattress without sheets or blankets on it in the corner of the room. Mostly for when Natsu got super baked and didn't want to crash on the ground. Gray laid on the bed, resting on his forearm while he bounced a ball against the bland wall. The smack echoed in the room. The _Yeah Yeah Yeahs_ played on Natsu's stereo.

Natsu's face hadn't changed when he painted, just this focused look as his brush. How frequently he dipped his paintbrush in water and clean it off with his hand. He tried to part back hair that wasn't in his face, he just felt strands there. His hair was back in clips, Gray held the ball in his hair, viewing Natsu work. The room felt cold. Gray was shirtless, his necklace hanging between his pecks. He ran his fingers through his bangs. He had finally gotten bored.

"Hey, Natsu," Gray called, "Let me see what you're working on."

"Yeah, no. Just sit there and be my eye candy, okay babe?"

"Come on," Gray rolled on his stomach, "You've been working for like an two hours or something. I wanna see already."

Natsu shook his head and spun his brush in water, "No, Gray. Now stop asking, you'll make me mess up."

"Ugh," Gray dropped his head in the mattress, "You're such an asshole."

"Whatever." Natsu started to paint again.

Gray puffed out his bottom lip and sat up, "Why can't I see it?"

"Because I don't want you to."

"You let me see all you other drawings."

"Painting his different, now leave me alone."

"Why did you even ask me to come over if you were going to just paint and not talk to me?" Gray asked, rolling the ball across the room.

"Because I wanted you here. Duh."

"You're the biggest weirdo ever, I swear."

Natsu shrugged. After a moment, Gray sighed and stood up. Natsu looked out of the corner of his eye and turned slightly, lowering his brush.

"What are you doing?" Natsu asked.

"I'm coming over to see what you're painting."

"Um, excuse me? No way."

"Oh yes way, let me see."

Gray walked close to Natsu. Natsu blocked his way, both of his arms were out. He looked serious about Gray seeing his painting. Gray could see a small blush. He smiled softly and put his hands on Natsu's shoulders. Natsu's face was still stern, he lowered his arms slightly.

Gray leaned in, his lips parted, "Baby…" Gray trailed, Natsu relaxed slightly before Gray shoved him aside and moved past him.

"Gray!" Natsu exclaimed and grabbed Gray's forearms. They both struggled against each other while Gray tried to push his way towards the painting. Natsu put up his hands while Gray grabbed his wrists, he flashed his teeth and squirmed. Gray laughed, Natsu didn't think it was funny. Natsu flicked his wrists, and a red strip of paint appeared across Gray's nose. He crossed his eyes to see the color on his face, Natsu snickered.

"Hey, don't laugh at me." Gray said.

"Sorry, but you look funny."

" Well then," Gray put his fingers in a can and smeared blue over Natsu's cheek. He smirked, "Now you look funny too."

"Hey! Don't put your fingers in my paint!"

Natsu picked up a can and flicked yellow paint on Gray's chest. Gray coated his hands in pink and white, putting both hands on Natsu's cheeks. Natsu groaned and threw his brush out, picking the yellow and coloring Gray's cheek. They began to to make a mess of each other with acrylic paint. Become blobs of reds and greens, slightly different shades of blue and purples. They were pushing each other away from the easel, Gray seemed to be having fun, but Natsu seemed to see it as an actual fight. And he wanted to win. After a few minutes of their paint paint fight, Gray grabbed Natsu's hands, making Natsu fall on the bed. Pinning his wrists above his head.

Natsu was panting hard, glaring up at Gray. Natsu's shirt was dirty with a rainbow of paints. Skin, now unclear from his own hand. Gray tilted his head and put his hand to Natsu's cheek. Trailing a mix blue on Natsu's flesh. Natsu clenched his teeth and winced.

"Whoa," Gray breathed, putting his thumb on Natsu's lip, pressing in his mouth, "Don't bite, you look pissed still."

Natsu raised his eyebrows and looked at Gray, " 'Ot ar'w 'o 'oing?" Natsu muttered.

"I never notice how sharp your teeth are. It's weird," Gray touched Natsu's fang, "It's cool"

Natsu nipped down Gray pulled away, "Stop touching my teeth with your gross fingers. Now let me finish my painting."

Gray shook his head, "No, now I feel bad for getting you all dirty," Gray leaned down and kissed Natsu, "Besides, your paints are a kinda fucked up now…"

"And who's fault is that." Natsu grumbled.

Gray smiled and kissed Natsu deeper. Natsu closed his eyes and sighed. He ran his hands down Natsu's sides. Gray sucked Natsu's bottom lip before Natsu bit pulled back and laughed, he kissed Natsu's nose.

"That's what I mean by those sharp teeth, they're like a beast or something. A dragon maybe."

"What the hell do we even talk about anymore?"

"No idea," Gray said and rubbed his nose against Natsu's, squeezing his sides, "But I like anything to do with you."

Natsu rolled his eyes, "Just kiss me, dummy."

Gray pressed his lips back against Natsu's. Natsu wrapped his arms around Gray's neck, having his fingers run in the back of his hair. Natsu twisted his tongue with Gray's, the warmth between them started to grow. Gray ran his hand up Natsu's shirt, Natsu touched Gray's chest and pushed Gray on his back. Natsu hopped on his hips and pinned his wrists.

"Are we still 'fighting'" Gray asked.

Natsu didn't reply but moved to Gray's neck. Gray tipped back his head and breathed out, he felt Natsu's hands tense up. Natsu kissed under Gray's jaw, making Gray squirmed.

"Natsu." Gray laughed and pulled Natsu's hands away.

Gray grabbed Natsu's shirt and rolled Natsu back on his back. Natsu growled.

"Stop it." Natsu grumbled.

Natsu wrapped his legs around Gray's waist and clenched his thighs. Picking him up and throwing him over. Gray laid sprawled on the bed, he scrunched his eyes close and groaned. When Gray looked up, Natsu's face hovered above his.

"I'm going to win this. Not you, stripper." Natsu smirked.

Gray grinned and grabbed Natsu's collar, yanking him down on the bed. Natsu landed on his stomach and Gray quickly sat on Natsu's back.

"Oh yeah, you're totally winning." Gray said.

Natsu bawled his hands into fists and started to kick his legs, "Graaay!" Natsu whined, "Get your fat ass off me!"

"Oh, my ass is not that fat, love," Gray said and pinched Natsu's cheek before kissing him, "And if it was you would love my fat ass."

Natsu grunted, "Let me up already!"

Gray hooked his arms under Natsu's armpits and picked him up. Pulling him to sit in his lap. He kept a hold of Natsu's dominate hand, Gray put his free hand to Natsu's throat. Moving it up slowly as Natsu's chin tipped back. Gray kissed natsu's neck and nipped his ear.

"You're so cute." Gray whispered.

Natsu elbowed Gray in the stomach, causing him to jerk away and hold his stomach. Gray's body tensed up, Natsu moved off his lap and huffed.

"Son of a… Bitch. You jerk," Gray gasped, "I would have let you go… Eventually."

"Oh whatever, lay down," Natsu said and walked back to his painting, "If you wait patiently then I promise, I'll apologize with you seeing the painting."

"You mean it?" Gray asked.

Natsu bent down and kissed Gray's forehead, "If I say it then I mean it," Natsu dug his keys out of his pocket and handed them to Gray, "Now here, take a shower while I finish up. I shouldn't take more than thirty minutes."

Gray grinned and stood up, "You're awesome."

"I know, now get out or I won't finish."

"You got it, dude."

"Goodbye, Stephanie."

"Excuse me, but I am uncle Jesse."

* * *

Gray washed off the paint from his body and he was somewhat sadden by this. Seeing the color run down the drain and becoming clear once again. He liked seeing how Natsu painted him, even in a fighting motion he took care. How he made the steaks along Gray's chest, somehow they made sense, like they went together. He liked the smell of the cream in the paint, now covered by the scent of ivory soap. He bathed rather quick and borrowed some of Natsu's clothes. He took a wool beanie, his hand print shirt, and jeans. He still had time to spare so he read one of Natsu's _Dragon Ball_ mangas before switching to _Sailor Moon_. Gray then realized once again his boyfriend was the biggest nerd in the world and he loved him for it.

Gray glanced at a few of Natsu's old sketches that he had seen before. Trying not to smudge any pencil marks or pastels. He found them all in an envelope for some reason. He didn't know what for. Usually they were a mess and all over the place. Maybe Natsu was finally starting to get organize. When he went down stairs, he lit a cigarette and held onto the rail as he went to the basement.

"Yo, babe, you done?" Gray called, "Cause if you aren't I'm still going to come down and see it."

"Yeah, you can come and see it," Natsu replied, "Just… Don't make fun of me, okay?"

"Oh, I make fun of you all the time, why would this time be different."

Gray hopped down from the last step and inhale smoke. Natsu was facing Gray, his back turned. Gray still couldn't see the canvas. He stubbed out his cigarette on the concrete.

"What are the rules?" Gray sighed.

"One. You can't laugh."

"No promises."

"Gray," Natsu groaned and rubbed his face, "Two. Don't tell anyone about this. That's it. Got it?"

"Yeah, but I don't understand, haven't you shown like Lucy your paintings before?"

"I have but this one is different… It's special."

Gray pecked Natsu's lips fast and gripped his shoulders, He switched places with Natsu and turned his head to see the painting. Gray's eyes widened, his lips parted.

"Oh my god…" Gray whispered.

It was snowing indoors. It was of Gray and Natsu, only altered slightly. Instead of Natsu's hot pink hair, he now had an orange reddish hint to it. Gray's was black with baby blue highlights. They sat on a bed, a bowl with small lines of smoke showed on the end table with pills next to it spilt. They were kissing, and behind Natsu was a fire. Their fingers delicately touching one another. They looked calm, fragile even, while snow fell from out of nowhere. The corners of the canvas looked like they were starting to burn, like when a picture is set on fire. Gray swallowed, he looked over at Natsu.

Natsu had his head down, blushing brightly. Gray grinned and picked Natsu up by his waist, Natsu was caught off guard and gasped.

"Uh- Hey!" Natsu shouted.

"Natsu, this is beautiful! It's amazing!" Gray spun Natsu around, "I love it!"

"Thank you, I get it now put me down!"

Gray kissed Natsu hard and pressed against him. He pulled back and giggled before dropping Natsu back on his feet. He turned back and glowed towards the painting.

"I don't get it though, why did you decide to paint this? You could have just sketched it and it would have been just as awesome."

"Well I just wanted to paint it alright," Natsu snapped, blushing brighter, "I was in the mood for it, okay?"

Gray shrugged, "Well, whatever. I'm so glad I was here so you'd let me see it."

"I would have let you seen it if you didn't come." Natsu murmured.

"Then what did you need me for? All I did was screw up your times and all your paints."

"Well, I needed you for reference. I didn't want to fuck up on your face when I was painting it. I wanted it to look perfect."

Gray picked up Natsu's chin and kissed him gently, his arms around his waist again. Natsu put his hands on Gray's forearms.

"You make everything seem perfect to me." Gray murmured.

Natsu nuzzled his head in Gray's shoulder and hugged him. Gray forgot that Natsu himself was imperfect. Or maybe he meant that Natsu's imperfectness created order somehow. Natsu didn't care. He just thought about how freezing cold Gray's hands were.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Natsu."

* * *

Natsu sat in the recliner of the living room. Happy was curled up in his lap, sleeping while Natsu pat him. Natsu was reading _Girl, Interrupted._ He found relation with the book, like he could see himself in an institution and be apart of this group of sick characters. If only he did more drugs and could write. If he did, he could have a best seller. Zeref was in the corner of the couch drinking a beer and watching _Rocky V_.

"God this movie is shit." Zeref said.

"The why are you watching it?"

"Because it's a _Rocky_ movie and as a male I'm obligated to watch it."

Natsu breathily laughed and turned the page, "That must be the reason why I stayed out here, huh?"

"Maybe you wanted to spend time with your big brother."

"Nah, my man-senses were tingling."

Zeref shook his head and sipped his beer, "So I noticed your paint brushes in the sink. Were you in the basement today?"

Natsu licked his lips and nodded, "Yeah, Gray and I hung out down there."

"It's been along time since you've painted," Zeref looked over, his hand on his cheek, "Is it because of the schools I showed you?"

"Well, you have to make a portfolio sometime soon if you want to go off to some to some fancy-schmancy art college, you know?" Natsu chuckled.

During the first month of December, Zeref brought home some brochures from an array of colleges. Natsu was getting close to graduating, he had to start thinking of plans besides smoking weed and going to parties.

"Oh so you were thinking about the school in California, yeah?" Zeref smiled, Natsu nodded, "Well good for you, Natsu. I wouldn't of thought you you'd actually try to get in."

"You'd get on my ass if I didn't try at all," Natsu closed his book, "Besides, I don't think I could get in a school like that."

"I have hope in you. You're a great artist. Everyone thinks you are. Lucy does, Erza does, I do, Gray most likely does."

"If he didn't I'd punch him in the jaw. He thought my painting today was beautiful."

"Oh, so he was helping you with your portfolio?" Zeref asked.

"Well… Not exactly… He just thought I was painting for fun."

Zeref sat back on the arms rest and looked at Natsu, "Have you told Gray about the school?"

Natsu kept his head low but look up, "No. I'm not even sure if I have a chance there or if I'm even going to send them more drawings and then show them my paintings. I don't want him to think I'm going all the way to California. Hell, I don't even know I like thinking about that…"

Natsu swallowed. He picked Happy up and held him against his chest. He didn't want to be the one to move away from anyone. Not Zeref, not Lucy, and not Gray. He wasn't going to leave anyone behind. But it would be a great opportunity, and Natsu knew that. Everyone would understand if he went.

"You know, it's your choice, Natsu," Zeref said, "If you don't want to, then don't, if you do, then try and get into it. I'm just showing you have some choices. Really, you don't even have to go to college after high school if you don't think it's for you. Saves me money."

Natsu laughed and ran his fingers through his bangs, "Why did I get the best brother in the world?"

"You must be the lucky bastard," Zeref finished his beer, "But you should know, I've heard that California has the best parties you'll ever see."

* * *

 _So I hope you guys enjoyed. Review, favorite and follow if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	14. The Letter

**Hey guys! New chapter and just like I promised its a longer one! Yay! Prepare yourself early on. I do not own Fairy Tail the characters used or the song lyrics. Enjoy.**

* * *

Natsu had a panic attack. He hadn't had one in years and he forgot how to deal with it, he forgot how to breath. The last time he had an attack, was the last time he got a letter from his father. Now, he had gotten another one, and his heart was racing. His heart felt like it had snorted one too many lines of cocain and it was about to OD. Natsu sat up on his bed, his body shook and his closed eyes couldn't stop flickering. His chest heaved as he stuttered to breath. It felt like the hardest thing to ever do. He tried tapping his fingers together and have his breathing sync up with that.

Natsu ran his fingers in his hair, he pulled at the follicles on the top of his head. Natsu swallowed, his hand falling in his face. Zeref had left an hour ago, he went to go out with a few friends. He didn't seem enthralled about that, he usually never was when he saw their father gave them money for the rent. Zeref's jaw would tighten, his eyes would become somber and his voice melancholy. He couldn't hide how he felt seeing any trace of his father. How he hated Igneel.

Zeref had knocked on the door before he opened it. Natsu had a light blue oil pastel in his hand, others being scattered on the bed, Natsu looked up.

"Oh, hey Zeref." Natsu said.

"Hey, Natsu um so I'm gonna go in a minute, okay?"

"Yeah, go wild. I don't care." Natsu started to blend the colors with his fingers.

Zeref nodded, "And uh, you got a letter," Zeref pulled out the envelope from his pocket and held it out, "It's… It's from dad."

"Dad?" Natsu perked up and sat up on the bed, he quickly stood up and walked forward, "He… He wrote me?"

"Yeah, been awhile, huh?"

"No, kidding." Natsu grumbled.

Natsu grabbed the envelope and analyzed the outside. It showed their sloppily written address, Natsu's first and last name. His thumb grazed the paper slowly, his mouth went dry. Natsu looked at Zeref, awkwardly Zeref scratched the back of his neck. His eyes averted away.

"Did he say anything to you?" Natsu asked.

"When does dad ever tell either of us anything? No, he sent rent money and a letter for you. Nothing more, nothing less" Zeref muttered, "I have to go. Carpooling you know?"

Natsu didn't say anything, he just shyly nodded. Natsu closed the door and put the letter on the end table. He scratched his arm like the letter had given him a rash. He sat back on the bed and licked his lips. He wasn't sure if he wanted to open it, he was afraid of what was inside.

He loved his father, and he hated how much he did. It made Natsu think about why he would take the to write a letter, but not even give him a call. Or a birthday card. Or tell him 'Merry Christmas'.Not even a visit. It gave Natsu false hope. Hope that his father would come back, but why would he? He hasn't seen Natsu in years, many,many years. He always wondered what made him leave. Natsu somehow blamed himself, he'd then get angry at his father that he should have never left him. That he should have been their to see him write his first essay, teach him to drive a car, show him the old music he used to listen to. Everything a good father should have done. But somehow, Natsu still respected him.

Natsu shook his head and picked up the envelope. He tried not to wrinkle any of the paper. He grabbed a pair of scissors and used the blade to shred the top. He took out the letter, it was folded into thirds. He had his eyes closed and breathed in the pastels waxy smell.

 _Dear Natsu,_

 _It's been a long time hasn't it? You're getting so old, seventeen is a hard time. Zeref's been good to you, yeah? I bet he has, he's always been a great kid. You're probably thinking about colleges now and working hard. I know you're smart enough to do anything you want. And, I know you don't understand this, but I'm sorry I can't be there with you. But just know that I'm still proud of you and I think about you often._

 _Sincerely, Igneel._

Now, this is how panic set into Natsu.

Proud of him? How could Igneel be proud of him if he never got the time to get to know his own son? Natsu's palms were shaking, he had bitten his lip so hard he started to bleed. Natsu was heaving, he crumpled the paper and threw it against the wall. He grit his teeth together, his head shaking low as his nostrils flared, he banged his hand against the wall. The pain didn't shoot through him, he was too pissed or disappointed to care. He put his head in his hands and breathed out heavily. He shook his head. Natsu reached over in his drawer and looked for his Xanax bottle frantically. He tossed his lighter, cigarettes, and bowl with a snarl every time.

"Where the fuck is it, where is it, where is it!" Natsu growled.

Natsu found the bottle and opened it up, pouring out two pills. He put them in his mouth and tipped back his head with a glob of spit. Natsu panted hard and laid down on the bed. He was so afraid that he would cry, Natsu didn't want to cry over this. Natsu found his cassette player and put on his head phones. Natsu blared the tape. He closed his eyes and bit his quivering lip. He wrapped his arms around himself and pretended Gray was there.

Natsu was left alone again.

* * *

Natsu had been pacing for over an hour now. He hadn't calmed down yet and it was starting to aggravate him more. It was starting to drive him crazy. He fried the batteries in his cassette player and it was too late to turn on music from his stereo. Gray said he was on a weekend trip for a band gig. It was Sunday now so he had to be coming home now. Natsu finally cracked down and grabbed the wireless mobile. Gray called him earlier on Saturday from Cana's cellphone.

His jittering hands redialed the number and sat down on his bed. The rings sounded like a symphony of hope. After a few rings, someone answered.

"Yeah, hello?" Cana said.

"Cana, it's Natsu, is Gray with you?" Natsu asked

"Uh, yeah, he's been crashed back in the station wagon for like, five hours now. What's up? Isn't it passed you bed time kid?"

"Cana, I'm not dealing with your bull shit right now just can you please wake him up? I need to talk to him."

There was a brief pause. Like Cana was processing the tone of Natsu's voice, "You get away with it this time," Natsu faintly heard Cana yell back Gray's name, along with quiet muttering "Just a sec." The shift of the phone passing was heard.

"Hey, baby what's up?" Gray's voice sounded like a blessing. Immediately Natsu closed his eyes, "Cana says you sound really weird."

"Gray, how long until you come back home?" Natsu asked.

"Uh, maybe another hour? Hey Cana! How long till we're back home?"There was a small silence, "Yeah, about an hour. And I can't wait to get home, I haven't shower since Friday."

"Will you come and see me?" Natsu asked, he thickly swallowed, "Please? I need you as soon as possible."

"Natsu, what's wrong? You don't sound okay. What happened?"

Natsu deeply sighed and ran his fingers through his bangs. Natsu's hand was bruised now, this reddish purplish color.

"I got a letter from my dad…" Natsu trailed.

"Well, isn't that a good thing? I mea-"

"No Gray, it's not a good thing. It's actually a thing that really pisses me off. It really fucks me up."

"Where's Zeref? Have you talked to him yet?"

"He's out with friends. He'll probably get drunk and tried to get laid. It's what he always does when our dad contacts us. He always leaves me alone when it happens and I always freak the hell out if he personally writes me!" Natsu punched the wall again and cringed, "He knows I get like this… But I always get left behind."

Gray heard the tenseness and how scared he sounded, "Natsu, calm down. Have you taken your pills today?"

"Haha! Yeah, I have!" Natsu's jaw tightened, "I've taken four Gray," His voice turned from this manic tune to wistful, "I want to go to sleep Gray but it's not working. They're not working! I want to down a whole fucking bottle!"

"Natsu! Chill out! I'll come over, okay? Just calm down."

Natsu clenched the phone tightly, "Thank you Gray. Thank you so much," Natsu murmured, "Will you stay on the phone with me?"

"I'll stay on the phone as long as you need me to baby."

Natsu laid his head on his pillow and curled his knees to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his shins.

"Will you sing to me?"

"What?"

"Sing to me please? Anything, you can sing me that one _Beatles_ song. What was it called? _Eleanor Rigby?"_

"Natsu… Cana is still in the car still." Gray quietly said.

"Gray Fullbuster, your boyfriend is distraught and wants to hear you sing. Now you either do it or you hear me extremely pissed off."

"What else would be new?"

"Graaaaaay." Natsu whined.

Gray breathily laughed and tried to remember the beat of the song,"Yo Cana, is Elfman's guitar in the back?"

"Yeah! Way in the back." Natsu heard Cana's voice, faintly.

Gray sat down the phone and rummaged for the guitar. After a few moments, the rustling of the phone being picked up came, "Alright, it maybe hard for me to play while I have you on the phone," The acoustic strings on the guitar came as he turned it, "But I think you'll live."

"Just sing to me baby."

Natsu could sense Gray's smile through the phone. Like he was actually there at his side. After the guitar was tuned and told Cana to turn down the radio.. Gray cleared his throat.

" _Ah look at all the lonely people_

 _Ah look at all the lonely people_

 _Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice_

 _In a church where a wedding has been_

 _Lives in a dream."_

Gray's voice was sweet, low and slow. The gentle chords being strummed and plucked at the same speed of Gray's singing. Natsu felt like he could cling to Gray's vocal cords and try to float away on the sound.

" _All the lonely people_

 _Where do they all come from?_

 _All the lonely people_

 _Where do they all belong?"_

* * *

Gray knew where they kept the spare key and let himself in. The apartment was rather silence, usually he'd hear Natsu's music or a tv show in the background. Instead, Happy swerved under Gray's feet, meowing and patting Gray's shoes with his paws. Gray knelt down and scratched under Happy's chin. Happy lightly bit him.

"Hey little man," Gray sighed, "You know how Natsu is feeling?"

Happy pulled away and licked Gray's thumb.

"Yeah, not too good," Gray stood up and took off his shoes. Walking down the hall to Natsu's room. He turned the knob and walked in, "Hey, Natsu?"

After a few songs, Cana's phone had died, and Natsu was left by himself. His hands were filthy and all his oil pastels had doubled. He had broken all of them in half and let them lay on his sheets. Natsu lifted up his head, he stood up quickly and ran into Gray's arms. His head in Gray's chest and arms tight around him, Gray ran his fingers in Natsu's hair.

"Well hi, baby. How you feeling?"

"Like shit," Natsu tipped up his head, "Make me feel better."

Gray smiled and hummed softly, he rubbed Natsu's back, "How about we watch a movie? I'll make you up some popcorn and tea. Then, we can go to bed."

"Can you just cuddle me instead? Please?"

Natsu put his hands on Gray's cheeks. Gray noticed the bruise on Natsu's hand. His fingertips grazed the tainted skin.

"What did you do to your hand, Natsu?"

Natsu jerked his hand back and held it, "I uh, I just hit the wall pretty hard a few times," Natsu said, "I was kinda having a freakout moment. It doesn't hurt or anything."

Gray lowered Natsu down on the bed and sat next to him, he locked his fingers with Natsu's "I don't get it, why did you get so mad? I mean, I thought you'd be excited to see something from your dad."

Natsu rolled his eyes, "It's stupid. I don't know why he sends me anything, like he actually still cares."

"Well, it's obvious that he does. Why would he write to you in the first place if he didn't."

"I don't know why he does anything," Natsu muttered, "I never got to know him well enough to understand him."

"He probably wish he did though, you know? That's probably why he writes you."

"Yeah… Every few years."

Gray licked his lips and pulled his hand back, "You know, just because your dad isn't here with you doesn't mean he stopped caring about you."

Natsu turned his head away and stood up, "He doesn't give a fuck about me or Zeref. He just sends a check every month for rent and the rare short letter. It's worse than a spit to the face."

Gray tsked and shook his head. There was something tense in the air something that started to get on Gray's nerves.

"Whatever Natsu," Gray muttered, "At least you still have a parent in your life and at least you know that he's out their living. You know where I have to go to see my parents? A graveyard. And that's when I learn they aren't doing anything. That they can never think about me ever again."

Natsu swallowed, he crossed his arms and looked at Gray, "You don't understand, Gray…"

"Oh I think I do, see, I've had three people who meant the whole fucking world to me leave me. Yeah, your dad had a choice to stay and he didn't but he must have left you for a good reason. A a damn good reason, because you're hard to leave. I had another chance at a family when my parents died and it just happened all over again," Gray's voice shook, his palms were sweaty, "I don't get letters, I don't get rent money, I don't get to wonder if my parents or Ur think about me. You do, you get that satisfaction that he's still out there for you and you're blowing it. Even if he left."

"It's not like that, Gray! It's not," Natsu snapped, he breathed out hard, his hands in his hair, "Every time I think about him I just think I'm this huge dissapointment. That- that if he met me now, he would think I'm shit. And maybe that's why he left, because he knew I'd be this fuck up. He still thinks about me like when I was younger, when I wasn't such a screw up!"

"What have I told you about calling yourself that?!" Gray grabbed Natsu's shoulders, "You are not a screw up, you are not a disappointment so shut up about it. There is no way he left because of you, something is wrong with him. Not you. You can't let him affect you like this if he's not here."

"I know I shouldn't but I do. I do because I miss him so much, I miss him so fucking much!" Natsu jerked his body away and pressed his forehead against the wall. He heaved, "I think about him all the time and no one will ever tell me anything about him! Zeref tells me nothing because he hates Igneel, and that's my problem. I can't hate my dad, and I want to so much," Natsu punched the wall, "I want to hate him, I want to hate him, I want to hate him!"

Every time Natsu punched the wall, his knuckles turned red and chapped. Bits of blood showed on the white wall. Natsu started to choke back tears, sliding down the wall. His hand shook in pain as he curled up. Gray wrapped his arms around Natsu's waist, he gently caressed Natsu's hand. Burring his head in Natsu's neck. He shushed Natsu as he started to cry.

"I'm so sorry, Gray… I'm so sorry," Natsu sobbed, "I'm really really sorry."

Gray shook his head and fell on his butt, pulling Natsu in his lap. He let Natsu cry it out, he wasn't going to tell Natsu everything would be okay. Natsu deserved a good cry.

"I'm sorry about your parents… And that one women.. Ur?" Natsu muttered.

Gray rubbed Natsu's back, "Yeah… Ur.. My foster mother."

"God I'm such a big cry baby! Why do I always have a melt down around you?"

Gray laughed sadly and brushed his thumb on Natsu's cheek, "Because you know I'm okay with you melting down in front of me," Gray kissed Natsu's salty skin, "Your hand looks really bad. We should patch that up."

Natsu caught Gray's mouth with his. Natsu lips felt moist, damp even, like a leaking house as tears slid down. Natsu panted softly, he sniffled, Gray wiped away a few straggling tears.

"You always take care of me… Why do you get to be more stable than me?" Natsu asked, pouting his lip.

Gray smiled, "I'm not as stable as you think. I procrastinate on school work and then stress out. I have a crappy truck that gives me more trouble than it's worth, I smoke way too much pot and I'm a sore loser playing hockey. I'm as stable as a table with three legs."

Natsu giggled and rubbed his nose, "Yeah, maybe you're right. You just seem… Perfect to me."

"I love you, Natsu."

"I love you too… Like a lot…"

"You mean the whole world to me, when I'm with you I can really feel how fast the earth turns."

Gray grinned and kissed Natsu's red nose, the locked lips again. Gray ran his hands up Natsu's sides, Natsu parted his lips and kissed deeper. Gray pulled up Natsu's pullover and kissed his collarbone. Natsu pulled the sweater over his head, keeping his arms still in the sleeve, his arms over Gray's head. Gray press his thumb against Natsu's pierced nipple. He kissed Natsu's throat as he rubbed. Natsu closed his eyes, a small blush forming on his cheeks. He pressed up his chest against Gray's hand.

Gray tugged on the piercing and licked Natsu's skin. Natsu started to fall back on the ground, Gray moved between Natsu's legs. Gray rocked his hips against Natsu's and breathed out. Natsu squeezed his eyes and moan quietly. The chaffing jeans only made them harder. Natsu tossed his pullover and Gray sat on Natsu's hips. Starting to take off his shirt. Natsu touched the ripples of Gray's abs, running his hands to Gray's tattoo. He kissed the permanent ink.

Natsu started to take off Gray's pants, along with his own. Their bulges rubbed together, Natsu groaned.

"Oh, fuck, Gray. Take them off," Natsu said, "I want to have sex already."

"Heh, do you think you can reach the lube and condoms from here?" Gray asked.

"No, but your tongue is right here," Natsu licked Gray's bottom lip, "Are you up for a little rim job?"

Gray smirked and put his hand down Natsu's underwear, "Oh I'm always up for that," Gray kissed Natsu again, slipping down his boxers.

Gray kissed down Natsu's stomach, "Would you rather be on your belly?"

Natsu nodded, "It would probably be easier that way."

Natsu rolled onto his stomach, Gray slightly rose Natsu's hips. Gripping them tightly, Natsu spread his legs. Gray pressed his tongue out and licked slowly a few times, swirling and flicking the entrance. He tasted sweat, his warm breath sent shivers down Natsu's back. Natsu moaned and wiggled his ass. Gray burrowed his face and pressed his tongue in, Natsu gasped and tried lifting himself up, but Gray's hold wouldn't let him. Natsu lowered his head and moaned. Gray pulled back and spit. His fingertips grazed the hole and pressed in two fingers. Natsu arched his back.

"Hah! Gray! You should have warned me." Natsu groaned.

Gray started to move his fingers, "Sorry I just want to make love to you already."

Natsu's eyes popped open, "Whoa, what did you say?" Natsu's turned on his back, "You want to make… Love? Like how a mommy and daddy have sex?"

"Don't say it like that, you make it sound weird. I wanted it to sound really cute."

"No, no it can still be cute," Natsu's said, "But if you're going to make love to me, maybe put me on a bed?"

Gray chuckled softly and ran his fingers through his bangs, "You tell me that when I have my fingers inside you. Perfect."

Gray pulled his fingers out and picked up Natsu, carrying him princess style. Natsu compiled for once. No smart mouthing, no squirming. He respected to art of love making, he always wanted to be apart of it. Gray laid Natsu on the bed, his feet stayed on the ground.

"Now, if you don't mind," Gray spat on his fingers and pressed them in again, "I'll just continue."

Natsu tipped back his head and bawled up the sheets. The pastels were never cleared and they started to smudge his knuckles. Gray smiled and curled his fingers.

"You're always so messy. That must be the downfall of being an artist, huh?"

"Yeah, that and mental illness are the same gene as my creativity."

Gray cupped , Natsu's cheek and kissed him. He didn't want to hear Natsu talk about himself like that. He scissored his fingers apart and moved them faster and smoother. Natsu groaned and arched his back.

"Gray…" Natsu moaned, "I think I'm ready."

"Yeah? You good baby?" Gray asked.

Natsu nodded his head. Gray pulled his fingers back and went to the drawer. Natsu caught Gray's wrist.

"Don't. You don't need to use one tonight," Natsu said and locked his fingers with Gray's "I don't mind a little mess."

"Obviously. Are you sure?"

"Positive," Natsu kissed the back on Gray's hand, "I want to feel you," He flattened his tongue against Gray's skin, "All of you."

Gray smirked, "You're the best boyfriend ever."

Gray lowered his boxers. Natsu helped hold up one leg while Gray held the other. Gray lined himself up and looked at Natsu. He always got this flush look on his face before Gray put it in, his face seemed like it was strained, but he always felt smooth going in. Gray leaned over Natsu and pressed in the rough head.

"Oh god," Natsu gasped, "That piercing feels fucking wonderful."

"Your ass is so tight," Gray groaned, "You feel fantastic, Natsu."

Natsu turned his head and panted faintly as Gray started to rock. He squeezed Gray's hand, Gray delicately tried to do the same thing back. But Natsu's hand had dried with blood and fresh bruises started to appear. Gray kissed the crease of Natsu's neck. Gray could feel the heat illuminate from Natsu. He wasn't sure if it was because he was latex free tonight, but it made him flutter. He started to properly thrust, and he heard the hitched breaths from Natsu's mousy mouth.

Natsu wrapped his legs around Gray's hips, pulling Gray closer to him. Gray put his forearms on the bed, Natsu looked and started to count how many visible veins he could see. How many cords were connecting all throughout his body and the trip his blood had to take to pump his heart quicker. As Gray thrusted harsher, Natsu counted two long veins and four shorter ones. They looked like branches from a tree. A tree of life. Natsu gripped Gray's forearm and moaned.

The thrusts got deeper and with that depth, it caused Gray to move faster. He would press his lips to Natsu's every few minutes when he was losing his breath. The he would pull back and gasp for air. It was like he was getting off on the loss of oxygen. Like autoerotic asphyxiation, but without the strangling or smothering. Just the connection of Natsu's mouth against his. Natsu put his arms around Gray's back. He dug in his nails and scraped down. Gray moaned loudly.

"Love marks…" Natsu panted with a ginger giggle.

Gray smiled widely, his face hovering above Natsu, "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

"No… But I see it," Natsu ran his fingers over Gray's face and into his hair, "I see it by the way you look at me every time I see you."

Gray kissed Natsu's bottom lip and moved harder, causing Natsu to shutter. "Fuck! I'm almost there Gray."

"Me too, Natsu."

Gray's breath felt cool on Natsu's flesh, bumps almost formed but he still sweat. The heat was still there. Natsu stole a sloppy kiss from Gray, tongue slicking back together. Natsu could feel his come drip onto his stomach. Natsu started to breath quicker, face becoming this cherry tint. Gray pounded bolder and nimble, the ring hitting Natsu's swollen g-spot. Natsu whimpered and shook his legs. He came after without warning. He laid back on the bed with a plop. Gray still thrusted.

"Where should I do it?" Gray breathed.

"Do what?"

"Come, idiot. Your stomach, the sheets, what?"

"Just come in me," Natsu muttered, "I told you I didn't care about the mess."

"Oh my god," Gray said, squeezing Natsu's thighs, "You are an angel in disguise."

"Shut up and hurry," Natsu snapped, "I want you to come already."

Gray smiled and thrusted a few more times. The rocks slow and deep before moaning, coming after. Natsu cringed from the thick fluid, he dropped his legs and let Gray fall on him. Natsu hugged him as Gray caught his breath. Gray pulled out, little fluid spilt from Natsu's entrance. Gray lifted his head.

"Please tell me you're going to let me have sex with you without a condom."

"Only when me and you make love, dear." Natsu said and booped Gray's nose.

"Then I want to make love to you constantly."

Gray rubbed his nose against Natsu's and tussled his hair. Natsu snickered and tried to pull away. Gray started to kiss all over Natsu's face before he got tired and laid his head on Natsu's chest. Natsu twirled his finger in Gray's dark locks.

"I got oil pastels all over your back." Natsu said.

"Don't sweat it," Gray replied, "We can just take a shower together in the morning. Well, you should probably get that come out of you soon."

Natsu traced his fingers over his scratch marks. He didn't think about that now, "You know, you seem like you know a lot about me," Natsu licked his lips, "But today has made me realise I don't know jack shit about you."

"That's not true. You don't know jack shit about me in the past. But you know about me now."

"Do not…" Natsu sighed.

"What am I majoring in college?"

"Psychology but you want to minor in english."

"What's my favorite song?" Gray asked.

" _Gloria._ Easy."

"Favorite sex position?"

"Trick question, you just love having sex. Doesn't matter what position it is, you love it."

"Best friend?"

"Me of course," Natsu said, "But Lyon is a close second. What are you trying to prove by asking all of these questions?"

"To show how much you know about me. Natsu, I don't think you know this but you think about me alot. Even when you hate to admit it, you do. And that's more than what anyone else has done for me."

Natsu chewed his cheek, "It was hard growing up for you wasn't it?"

"It wasn't easy I'll tell you that much," Gray ran his hand over Natsu's chest, "Mom and dad were great parents when they were around. One night a small electrical fire broke out and soon, I saw my house in flames while I was out in my front yard from a fireman pulling me out. My parents couldn't get out and they died. Just like that, poof! Gone."

"That must have been horrible. You must have been so scared to be alone."

"No, no. I was pissed," Natsu raised an eyebrow, "I wanted to be stronger. Maybe if I was then the firemen could have help my parents instead of me. After a few months and me getting into a shitload of trouble. I met Ur, and she whipped my ass into straight. She was a CO."

Natsu chuckled, "Your foster mom was a correction officer?"

"Mmmhmm, she saw me about to pick a fight with some random kid and picked me up by the collar. Whoo, she was the most intimidating, loving person I have ever met. And once she fostered me, she made me see a lot of things differently. I met Lyon through her, she taught me lots of stuff, but the only thing she couldn't do was make me feel stronger. Even though she was."

Gray's voice became a whisper. Like a steady line of smoke. His throat never choked, his tone never cracked. It was straight.

"Gray, you don't have to keep talking if you don't want to." Natsu said, kissing the top of Gray's head.

"No, you wanted to learn about me so I'm letting you. One day I got really mad and being the stubborn brat I was, I ran away. And there was an awful snowstorm… The roads were so icy and I had never felt so cold in my life. And I always remembered Ur keeping it so cold in the house. I remember seeing her crashed on the couch at midnight from exhaustion and Lyon and I would cover her with a blanket because she shivered so much. I remember the cops finding me and telling me Lyon and Ur got in a car crash. I remember I put my brother in the hospital and my mother in the grave… I remembered staying by Ur's side until she died that night."

"Gray, baby, none of that is your fault. None of it."

"Funny. That's what Ur kept telling me. Over and over," Gray twirled his finger, "'It's not your fault, it's not your fault, Gray.' What a load of shit."

"No, it's not. You're still a stubborn brat, Christ," Natsu said, h cupped both of Gray's cheeks, "I don't know why people leave each other. I honestly don't. But look at me and understand me when I say this. Gray, none of that is your fault."

Gray's eyes drooped, yet he still smiled. He put his head against Natsu's, "You're such a jerk," Small tears formed on Gray's lashes, "I wanted you to think I was still stable. Even with that stupid table metaphor."

Natsu kissed Gray's forehead, "You're not unstable. You're like me. A little unsteady."

Gray laughed and shook his head, "Did I make you feel better?"

"No, you made me feel amazing. Just like always."

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow and favorite if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	15. The End of the World

**Hey guys! Finally a new chapter, I'm sorry this took me forever. Personal life got in the way but this is a pretty fun chapter now that I wrote it. Hehe. I do not own Fairy Tail nor the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

As a reward for finishing another piece of his portfolio, Natsu decided to go to a club he heard about. Bringing along Gray this time with his normal crowd of friends. Lucy, Erza, Juvia, ect. Since Natsu and Lucy gave some time for everyone to get an I.D or save enough money to find away into the club. Erza and Jellal rode together. Juvia carpooled with Lucy and Mira said she'd come within the hour. Natsu rode with Gray of course. Gray wore a black denim vest with a few patches over his tee shirt and ripped up jeans. Natsu wore a big flannel, a muscle shirt and charcoal shorts with leggings underneath. Natsu wanted to just wear the shirt, but Gray wouldn't let him go out like that. The weather was starting to turn and become colder.

Natsu somewhat liked this. How Gray cared so much for his body, not wanting him to get too cold, or making sure he wasn't hungry. Always offering snacks if he had any. He always asked if Natsu was starting to feel stressed out, anything like that, and he'd do his best to sooth the feeling. By holding him, smoking with him, drinking with him, kissing him, anything. Gray just always wanted Natsu in best health, and that's something that got on Natsu's nerves but something he also loved.

Gray tossed his cigarette out and closed the door. They could see Lucy about to park her car horribly and Juvia waved towards the two boys.

"The blue haired girl," Gray began, "Who's that again?"

"That's Juvia, you haven't met her yet."

Gray nodded while Lucy and Juvia hopped out of the car. Juvia wore a black dress with blue polka dots with a fuzzy white cardigan that looked like a shag carpet. Lucy had on a shiny pink mini skirt and a top with an open chest, along with boots to match. Lucy waved at the two and ran to hug Natsu.

"Natsu! Ugh, it's been forever since we've gone out together," Lucy pulled back, Natsu's hands were on her hips, "I've missed it."

"Me too, little lady," Natsu replied, "Oh, Juvia, this is my boyfriend Gray. I've told you about him."

Juvia's big droopy eyes widened somehow. She held out her hand and nodded, "Yeah, nice to finally meet you." Juvia softly mumbled

Gray grinned and shook her hand, "Nice to meet you too.."

After Juvia shyly smiled, everyone started to walk towards the entrance, music already poured. Guitars and drums wailed. Gray wiped his hand on his pants, he leaned in close to Natsu's side, "Her hand was really sweaty." Gray whispered to Natsu.

"She must have been nervous or something then. Or maybe she feels hot." Natsu shrugged.

"So, Erza called and said she'd be coming a little later. She's having trouble finding the place." Lucy said.

They walked through the revolving door. There was a giant sign that read _Dante's Inferno._ It was a black light while a drawing of a smoking demon was lit from it. It's forked tongue hung out like it could reach out and lick somebody. It made Lucy shiver, the place smelt like fake fog and crayon wax paper. There was a large table of masks, all looked different. Natsu found the whole scene wonderfully frightening.

Two women wearing identical lacy black outfits and gothic makeup to match sat at the table.

"I.D and mask fee." One lady said, monotoned.

"Mask fee?" Gray asked, getting out his college I.D.

"Everyone gets a mask at _Dante's_ ," The woman glanced at all the pictures, not really caring if they were valid or not, " Ten bucks."

Everyone dug money out of somewhere, whether purse or wallet, and handed over the cash.

"Where the hell did you take us to, Natsu?" Lucy mumbled.

"I don't know, but it seems pretty fucking rad."

"Rad? More like creepy as hell. If we sacrifice a goat to Satan I'm blaming you. "

All the masks had the same theme even in their uniqueness. They were all plain white masks but all with different designs. Natsu picked up one that had pink blush and around the empty eyes were smudged and a gaudy color of blue. Crooked red lipstick was around the mouth.

"Here, a perfect mask for you, Lucy," Natsu said, "Just like how you do your make up."

"Hey! Is not, jerk!" Lucy exclaimed, she took the mask anyway. Raising an eyebrow before putting on the mask and walking into the bar area.

Juvia scanned her fingers over a few plastic masks. She picked one up where a blue wave of water covered one of the eyes. She put it on and waved at the two before walking picked up a few masks and shrugged most of them off.

"This is kinda weird," Gray mumbled, "How did you even hear about this place?"

"One of the house parties I went to talked about this place. Something caught my attention from it."

"Like what?"

"Well, I'll tell you if I see it."

Natsu picked up a mask with a small cross upside down on the forehead and the lips were black. A grey color, almost like make up had faded like tears on the cheeks. Faintly. He strapped the string around his head and lowered the mask. He pressed the fake lips on Gray's cheek.

"Get your mask already." Natsu said and walked away.

Gray smiled, seeing the sway of Natsu's hips already from the music. He got a mask with black crack lines to the forehead to the left eye. He put it on and followed the rest of the crowd. White lights flashed over and over again, big bar area had a sign that read _The Seventh Level_ on it. Gray could feel fog from a smoke machine wrap around his ankles. Gray could see a mixture of the people who looked like the girls who greeted them, standing still with drinks in their hands with a resting bitch face if their masks were up. Others were dressed between normal or raver. Neon colors were floating between bodies. Rock music played loudly, waitresses were dressed in all black, like shadows. Gray noticed Lucy (by her mask) was already dancing, Juvia had her mask up and was sitting on a bar stool with an hard apple ale, watching people dance.

Gray lifted up his mask and looked for Natsu. He pushed his way through dancers and people casually smoking. He tapped on Lucy's shoulder, Lucy paused for a moment and looked at him.

"Hey, did you see where Natsu went?" Gray exclaimed over the music.

"Huh? Natsu? Nah, I'd check the bar though, he probably bought some water."

"No, I already looked, he's not there."

"Bathroom," Lucy said, " If he's not there at a place like this, then he's in the bathroom."

It was odd looking at Lucy with hollow eyes and he lips still. He wondered if her yellow eyebrows were high or low.

Gray nodded, "Thanks."

Gray tried to search for the bathrooms, over a corridor was serpents. He was drawn to this dark area and walked there. It led to an upstairs, a long hallway of people slumped against walls or smoking away. There were seven doors on each wall, a few were occupied.

He caught a glimpse of Natsu's pink hair. He quickly moved to where Natsu was. Natsu had a cigarette between his fingers and was talking with some man, his face hidden away. Natsu handed him some cash while they both looked around. The man got out a baggy and exchanged them with Natsu. Natsu bumped fists with him before they both slinked away from each other, like they had never met. Gray tilted his head, Natsu took a drag of his cigarette and turned his back away. Picking up his water from a tall table. Gray put his hand on Natsu's shoulder as his flannel was slipping off and kissed the back of his neck.

"Hey baby, whatcha got there?" Gray whispered.

Natsu quickly turned his head and looked over at Gray, the cigarette hung in his mouth, "Oh hey," Natsu said, fast, " I thought you'd be longer to pick out a mask."

Natsu took a drag and held the cigarette, tapping off ash. Gray ran his hands down Natsu's arms and pressed close against him. Natsu smiled and moved to the wall, Gray pinned him. Kissing him gently, Natsu arms carefully wrapping around Gray's neck, the smoke tickled Gray's nose. Gray felt the baggie rustle and pulled back, looking down at Natsu's chest.

"What did you get from that guy?" Gray asked, " Did you score good weed or something?"

Natsu shook his head, "No, it's what caught my attention," Natsu moved his hand in his inner pocket in his flannel, he pulled out the bag. A small amount of little blue pills were in it, " It's Molly. I've never tried it before. Heard they were selling it here for five bucks a pill."

"Pills? You mean you got ecstasy?"

"Duh, that's what Molly means. You want one?" Natsu asked pulling out one of the pills.

"Natsu, I don't really think we should," Gray lowered Natsu's hand, "I don't think you really should."

"Oh half of these weirdo's are doped up. Why can't I be?"

" Don't you want to have fun with your friends?"

"This is what I do when I go to clubs with friends, Gray. Lucy dances and tries to show off her moves, Juvia drinks and sits there. Erza and Jellal whenever they come will make out until Jella thinks someone is trying to flirt with Erza and then Erza kicks their ass. Mira will eat too much then throw up, it's all separate stuff we do. What I do is score some drugs."

"And what I do is make sure you're safe." Gray replied.

Natsu groaned and rolled his eyes, " It could be worse, Gray. Believe me. Come on," Natsu huffed another puff of smoke and blew. His hand trailing on Gray's chest, his tongue licked Gray's bottom lip. Gray looked lost in Natsu's fierce look, Natsu placed a pill on his tongue and pressed his lips to Gray's, he passed the pill and closed Gray's mouth, "You'll have fun."

Gray grinned, he fell for Natsu's voice and agreed. His mouth twitched before swallowing the pill. Natsu smiled and lowered Gray's mask. Natsu took a pill with some water and put the baggie back in his pocket. He pulled down his mask, he had made Gray commit a sin with him. Natsu was the serpent.

* * *

Natsu noticed how wide his eyes felt, that's what he really focused on. His pupils felt like they shouldn't fit in his eyes. Their pulses had increased, it felt like blood overflowed in their veins and that static replaced plasma. Gray couldn't stop smiling, his face felt too tight, like his muscles wouldn't let his face droop. The flashing lights looked like suns exploding over and over again, the masks were warm underneath. Everyone wearing their masks looked like family members to the boys, and they were happy to see relatives.

They started to talk to strangers, their mouths non-stop. They didn't even know what they were talking about but they knew it made them feel good. But what they really loved after a couple hours of their tense faces talking, they took their masks off. Body against body, they grinded on each other. Music started to blare louder in their ears. Their sweat mixed together, fog started to engulf them. Natsu's fingers weaved in Gray's hair as gray rolled his hips on Natsu's ass. Sneaking playful kisses and pinches on each others skin. They thought the dance floor only belonged to them.

Natsu had his flannel wrapped around his waist. He turned to face Gray, putting his arms above his head as he swished his hips side to side, bending his knees down. He was met with Gray's stomach and bit the hem on Gray's shirt, looking up at him. Gray grinned and grabbed Natsu's hand.

"Come here, baby," Gray said, pulling Natsu closed, his forehead on Natsu. Natsu giggled, Gray's hands moved to Natsu's lower back "Wanna know a secret?"

"What?" Natsu asked.

"I love you so much, Natsu."

Natsu laughed , "I already knew that, Gray. But do you want to know something?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I love you too, Gray." Natsu whispered against Gray's ear.

Gray picked Natsu up off his feet and spun him. Natsu laughing and holding onto Gray's shoulders. Kicking his legs as Gray started to kiss every inch of Natsu's face like some kind of delicacy.

"Gray! Stop it!" Natsu exclaimed, "Don't spin, I might throw up."

Gray put Natsu back on the ground and kissed Natsu's neck, Natsu put his hand's on Gray's chest. His lips felt more dense, his whole body was heightened. Natsu tilted his head and breathed out. Gray squeezed Natsu tightly, it felt like their bones were rubbing against one anothers.

"You know there's a few rooms upstairs," Gray murmured, "Some of them are free. There might be a bed."

Natsu smiled and looked at Gray, "You want to go upstairs? But I thought we were having fun, babe."

"You are my fun. So let me have you."

Natsu perked up and grabbed Gray's hand, "Then what the fuck are we still doing here?!" Natsu said and pulled Gray along like a puppy tugging on a piece of clothing. Gray chuckled, and at the same rapid pace he followed Natsu. When they walked up the stairs, it felt like they walked on puffs of air, or thin water that didn't get their feet wet. This was one hell of a drug. Once in the upstairs hallway, Natsu grabbed both of Gray's hands and started to walk backwards. Swinging their hands together and skipping, hopping throughout the hallway. They felt their pulses through their fingertips and their blood was hot. They knocked quickly on a door before barging in.

Natsu grabbed Gray's collar and pinned him against the wall. They threw off their masks to the side. The wallpaper was a maroon red and white stripes went down it. Natsu kissed Gray hard and put his knee between his legs. Their tongues lapped around and twisted with each other, saliva was increased that night. Natsu sucked Gray's tongue and ran his fingers back in his hair. Gray smiled and gripped Natsu's ass forcefully. Natsu moaned and caught his breath. Gray gave a good shake before giving Natsu's ass a nice slap. Natsu closed his eyes and yelped.

Gray moved to Natsu's ear and nibbled on his earlobe, "Like that baby?" Gray asked, roughly moving his hands on his ass and spanking again. Making Natsu grinned and licked the shell of Natsu's ear to his neck, Natsu started to become vulnerable. Gray turned Natsu on the wall and pinned his wrists. Gray pressed his hips to Natsu's and started to move, kissing down Natsu's neck. Natsu turned his head and breathed hard, his face was flushed.

"Gray…." Natsu breathed, arching his back.

Gray licked Natsu's salty skin and bit down, Natsu tilted back his head and groaned. His fists shaking. Gray pulls back and kissed him deeply again, he pulled back.

"I want these leggings off." Gray growled, "I wanna see your ass in those shorts by themselves."

Natsu nodded and blushed, Gray walked to the bed and sat down. Natsu took off his flannel and started to unbutton his pants and shook his hips as his shorts fell. He turned around and dropped his leggings. He tried to make sure his bare skin didn't show for long. He put on his shorts again fast.

"Whoa, hey there cowboy," Gray said and stood up, "Did you not think I'd notice you didn't have underwear on?"

Gray pulled on one of the belt loops, Natsu's back curved as he whined. Gray put his hand lightly to Natsu's throat.

"What made you go all commando tonight?"

"Apparently you've never worn leggings before. They're so comfy, I didn't think about wearing any."

Gray pulled up on his shorts. Natsu bit his lip and shifted his weight to each legs. The uncomfortable feeling of the jean shorts between his cheeks made him chafe. Gray gave a few tugs before slapping each cheek over again lightly a few times.

"Your ass is so cute in shorts. I love it."

"You're such a fucking ass guy." Natsu muttered and giggled after.

Gray smiled and kissed Natsu's cheek. He put one hand under Natsu's shirt, he pressed his crotch against Natsu's ass as he rubbed Natsu's nipple. Natsu pressed his chest out, the shorts tightening around his crotch as he moved. A few moans escaped his mouth, his legs shook.

Natsu felt like his whole entire skin was made out of bumps. All of his organs felt like they were working over time, it was magnificent in the way they were powered. By nerves that coursed throughout them that lit like sparks and talked in explosions. Splendid little bombs and sweet nuclear warfare was in them. This high was the battle.

Gray moved back to the bed with Natsu on his lap. He pinched Natsu's nipple as he ran his other hand down Natsu's shorts, rubbing over his bare skin. Natsu tightened up and moaned, his fingers weaving in Gray's locks as Gray would kiss his neck. Gray lifted Natsu's shirt and pulled it off, tossing it to the pile of leggings and flannel. He unbuttoned Natsu's shorts and pulled them down, Natsu sighed out of relief.

"I feel your boner poking me on my butt." Natsu said

"My boner must really like your butt then. Take it as a complement."

"It's annoying, get your pants off and fuck me already. Do you think there might be some lube in those nightstands?"

Gray leaned over quickly and checked the drawers. He raised an eyebrow, "There's suntan lotion. Why the fuck is there suntan lotion in here? You can't get a tan here."

"Who cares, that's good enough for me," Natsu mumbled, "Lotion yourself up."

Gray shrugged and moved Natsu down to his knees. He undid his pants and lowered his boxers just enough to release his cock. He flipped up the cap and poured the lotion on his hand. He started to stroke himself, he curled his lip.

"God this is weird, I feel like I'm going to tan my dick." Gray groaned

"Isn't it just like regular lotion?"

"Not to me, it has that gross cocoa butter shit and sunscreen smell."

"I think it's rather nice." Natsu said and turned his nose up.

Gray lifted up Natsu's hips and positioned himself.

"Breath in, breath out." Gray said before pressing in smoothly.

Natsu gasped and bit his lip, gripping Gray's thighs tightly as he went down more. Gray held on Natsu's shoulder and hip, he slowly started to thrust up. Natsu closed his eyes and tipped back his head, Natsu started to rock back with the thrusts. He moaned, his mouth staying open as he panted. Gray leaned back and pushed Natsu down harder, groaning slightly. Gray kissed Natsu's back, Natsu shivered, curving his spine. Natsu rode rougher, Gray thrusted faster. Their breath filled the room and their scent stained the sheets.

Natsu thought about all the other couples who had fucked on this bed. How many people smoked a joint in here. How many people came in here wanting relief just for a few hours. Was he one of those people? He came in here high, wanting someone in him so he could get away from the club. Natsu scratched Gray's thighs and lowered his head.

Gray put his hand on Natsu's chest, he kissed his neck. Natsu moaned and moved faster.

"Fuck, I'm almost there, Gray." Natsu moaned.

"Me too, you want me to pull out?"

Natsu nodded, "I'll suck you off."

Gray smiled and wrapped his arms around Natsu's waist. Holding him as if he was holding on for life. Making sure that if they fell, he would hit the ground before Natsu, protecting him from the fall. He moved harder, the piercing hitting his prostate roughly. Natsu's breathing hitched, he tensed up and bucked his hips up, coming after. His knees turned inward as he cried out, his head tilting back far.

"Fuck!" Natsu screamed.

Gray leaned back and pulled out. He stroked himself while Natsu took a brief break. Natsu slipped down and onto his knees. Natsu took over and started to stoke Gray swiftly, he sucked the head harshly. His tongue swirling and flicking over the tip. Gray moaned and pulled Natsu's hair slightly. Gray didn't give much of a warning when he came. Natsu flicked his eyes close and swallowed. He pulled off, looking up at Gray with sleepy eyes panting. Gray blushed and sweetly smiled.

Gray put his hand to Natsu's cheek, his thumb moving over the skin. Natsu nuzzled his face against his palm. Natsu started to stand up and kissed Gray softly.

"How clean do you think these bed sheets are?" Natsu asked.

"Not clean enough," Gray said, buttoning up his pants, "We can cuddle on top of them for awhile but we aren't sleeping here, I don't think I can sleep at all. Besides, people will wonder where we went."

Natsu sighed and walked over to the pile of clothes and picking up his flannel. He threw it on and buttoned it, pulling on his leggings. Natsu crawled back on the bed, he laid on his back while Gray did the same. They both looked up at the ceiling. Letting their heads try to unclog themselves, but they still raced a hundred miles an hour. They just couldn't open their mouths to say anything. Their bodies still jittered.

"I feel like I just had about ten cups of coffee," Natsu turned his head,"How do you feel?"

"Hyper, like I could do a marathon. All the colors in the room are bright. They hurt my eyes."

"You didn't want to take the pill,did you?"

Gray shook his head. Natsu sighed, "Then why the hell did you let me give you it? I wanted you to have fun with me."

"I did have fun with you," Gray looked at Natsu and held his hand, "Lots of fun."

"I meant that I wanted you to have fun high with me. If you really didn't want to then you shouldn't have let me."

Gray licked his lips, the stray hairs in Natsu's eyes bugged him. He brushed them back, "Because," Gray lowly said, "I love you like it's the end of the world."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I'll do whatever crazy shit you want to do with me because it maybe be our last."

Natsu laughed and shook his head, "But I'm crazy."

"If you're crazy than me loving you is makes me insane," Gray kissed Natsu gently, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Natsu smiled and blushed. His fingers played with Gray's like strings. Natsu swallowed, Gray had this talent of writing words in his head and it always came out perfectly.

"You know, I think mental illness and being artistic is the same gene," Natsu mumbled, "Maybe you are crazy."

* * *

After a short time, Natsu couldn't stay still. He found Lucy, he danced with her. They bumped hips, exchanged giggles as their bodies rolled. Gray sat down at the bar, a beer in his hand as he smiled. He had to force himself to sit. Juvia came by, leaning over the counter to grab her drink. Her jacket was on the stool, marking it as her had came back from the bathroom. She sipped her drink and kept her head down, her knees together and hands on her lap. Gray looked her over.

"So, Juvia," Gray began, she flipped her head up quickly,"You've been pretty quiet the whole night."

"Oh, have I?" Juvia said, tucking hair behind her ear, "I haven't really noticed. I just kinda do my own thing you know?"

Gray nodded, "I can dig that." Juvia blushed brightly.

Juvia chuckled shyly, "Cool."

"Is Mira around? Haven't seen her."

"I saw her last eating chicken wings talking to a bunch of guys."

"Erza?"

"Upstairs. Jellal is with her. You probably know what's going on."

Gray laughed, "And you're here all by your lonesome."

"Well I'm not all alone. You're here."

Gray shrugged and took a swig of beer, "I guess you're right."

Gray looked at Natsu. Watching how his waist swayed and how his legs bent at the knees. He smiled as he watched, Juvia leaned forward and looked at Gray.

"So why are you sitting here with me instead of Natsu?"

"Oh, I just didn't feel like dancing really. The lights kinda makes my stomach turn to be honest." Gray said and scratched the back of his neck, "And sometimes I just like looking at him, you know?"

Juvia hummed she picked up her mask from the counter and started to fondle her fingers trace the waved painted on. Her tongue rolled in her mouth.

"Natsu's really lucky to have someone like you." Juvia softly said.

Gray turned his head, "Huh? What?" He laughed lightly, "What's Natsu been telling you about me?"

"Everything. He talks about you all the time. I've never seen him talk about someone so much. I feel like I've known you for all these months you've been with him," Juvia said, "He described you one day to all of us one day and I swear I could have fallen in love with you."

Juvia kept her eyes down, her cheeks this warm rosey color. Gray frowed his brows.

"Juvia, that's very nice of you, I'm flattered really, but I really like Natsu."

"I know, I know, I'm not trying to steal you away or anything. I'm just saying he really loves you. And it seems like you really love him too. That's what makes Natsu so lucky…," Juvia sighed, "I've been in some crappy relationships where it was one sided… And I was on the other side. The losing side. The side that got their heart broken, and I always wished that I could find that one person who would make me feel loved back."

she shook her head and held her cheek, she smiled and looked at Gray, "I have no idea why I'm telling you all this. I guess it's just because I feel like I know you. I want you to keep looking at Natsu like that. Like he's an ocean and you're enjoying the scenery and the breeze in your hair. Because that's what people who are in love with you deserve."

Gray swallowed and nodded, "Yeah, of course."

"Good. Now go dance with your boyfriend."

Gray smiled and stood up, he parted Juvia's bangs for no reason, "You'll find somebody who's on the other side with you, Juvia."

"Thank you, Gray…"

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. Helps me out alot. See you next chapter._


	16. High Nymphs

**Hey guys! Finally I put up a new chapter. It's just kinda crunch down time at school so I haven't been able to write as much. But I'll try to put out a new chapter every other Sunday. I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

Today, Natsu wanted a hot chocolate instead of a cup of coffee. And instead of having a muffin, he thought he'd try a pumpkin spice scone. He kept munching clots of cinnamon while pumpkin flavoring lingered in his mouth. Natsu didn't ask Gray to put any whip cream or marshmallows, he only liked the warm steam on his face. With it being December now, Natsu would be lethargic when he took his medicine. The Xanax would always make him sleepier during the day. He decided he only needed to take it at night now or else he'd fall asleep everywhere. Natsu was able to control himself better, or at least make it seem that way.

Natsu had been getting a lot of pieces done during the day because of all the energy. He had stubborn paint on his hands that wouldn't wash off. He was only adding to the mess by bringing his oil pastels to the shop. Natsu smudged his finger over a fiery orange, he was making a fire inside were bright red nymphs in a forest-like flame. He switched his pastels again to a yellow and started to color. The hue made Natsu's eyes bloom. He licked his lips and started to smudge the colors together.

Gray smiled over his shoulder, he had a mug of coffee in his hand, "You're making a mess of my table," Gray said, "Do you know who has to clean this up after you leave?"

Natsu slightly jumped and looked up at Gray. Gray didn't have his apron on but still had his black work clothes. Natsu hovered his hands over his drawing, "You got a break?" Natsu asked.

Gray nodded, Natsu gave him some room to sit down next to him. Gray slid in and tried to get peeks of the drawing. Natsu was blocking it well, however. Gray sipped his coffee and locked his fingers with Natsu's free hand after he flipped over his drawing.

"I've noticed you've been drawing a lot lately."

"Wow, really? It's like I'm an artist or something. Crazy."

"Wow, it's like you're a dick head or something," Gray mocked, "I mean it's like you're nonstop now."

Natsu shrugged, "Well, It's second semester, it's not long till I'm out of high school. Zeref and I have looked at some colleges for me. I'm gonna send in some drawings but I need some pieces first."

Natsu said this somewhat shyly. He wasn't nervous to tell Gray he was making a portfolio, he really didn't actually care. But his voice just came out as looked up to see Gray grinning, he leaned back because he was afraid Gray would swallow him.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Natsu asked.

"Natsu you're going to college!" Gray exclaim and wrapped his arms tightly around Natsu, teasing his hair after. Natsu groaned and tried to pull away, "This is awesome!"

"Hey, I'm not going into college yet. I haven't even finished my portfolio. Let alone have gotten into a college." Natsu tried smoothing down his hair and move into the corner of the booth.

"Yeah, but your drawing and junk is amazing. There's no way you won't get into a school."

"Thanks for saying my 'junk' is good. But there are always a lot more artist better than I am, you know?"

Gray rolled his eyes, "Oh whatever, you'll totally get in."

"And what makes you think that?"

Gray kissed Natsu's nose and tapped it after, "I have faith."

"Faith?"

"Yeah, the universe is telling me you'll get in whatever school you want whenever you send in your portfolio," Gray wrapped his arm around Natsu, "Just like when I moved into my apartment and the universe gave me those stars."

"Oh my god those stupid stars again."

See, to Gray, the stars weren't stupid. The stars were, to Gray, like bibles to Christians. A point of reason, of unprovable evidence. It was what made him believe in the world, were those glow in the dark stars that didn't glow anymore. That were a greyish- green and smell of faint chemicals. Gray sighed and put his arm over Natsu's shoulder.

"You'll get in, I just know it," Gray whispered and kissed Natsu's cheek, "I don't just have faith in the universe, I have faith in you."

Natsu couldn't help but smile. He started to blend the colors again on his drawing, "What are you doing after work?" Natsu asked.

"Gotta study. Physic exam is coming up."

Natsu chuckled, "When you say it like that it makes you sound crazy."

"Last time I check I'm not the one taking happy pills." Gray said.

"I don't take happy pills, I take antidepressants," Natsu tilted his head, "When we took Molly, now those were some happy pills."

Gray sighed. He didn't like thinking about that night. He felt hot just like when he took the pill, but they were long gone and out of his system; yet still, his heart had beat faster now since then.

"Keep it down," Gray muttered, "People don't need to know their coffee boy takes drugs."

Natsu chuckled at this. He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his booth. One of the flame nymphs had her arms around another's neck with a smaller flame on her tongue. She was going to kiss her. Natsu put his hand on Gray's, the one that was on his shoulder, and rubbed his thumb over the cold skin. Some color got on Gray.

"So I'm guessing me and you can't hang out today." Natsu assumed.

"Yeah, not tonight, baby."

Natsu shrugged, "That's alright, I can have a night to myself for once."

"You sure?"

 _You sure?_ A _you sure_ to staying alone. That was a first for Natsu. Natsu had been alone half his life, what could one night do to him? Since he had started dating Gray, he never really got a night home to himself anymore. There was always raven hair between Natsu's fingers, the smell of smoke, and the soothing sound of Gray's singing and tuning of his bass or guitar. It was almost out of place for his home to be silent anymore.

"I'm sure, Gray. And maybe Zeref will be home early for once. Maybe we'll watch a movie."

"Don't smoke that kush I bought with him. That's good shit I want to save for you and I."

Natsu rolled his eyes, "Don't you have a smoke break to go on or something?"

"Nah, I'm on my thirty right now."

"Great, I'm stuck with you for thirty minutes."

"Aw come on now," Gray gave Natsu a big sloppy kiss on the cheek, "You act like that's a bad thing."

"Sometimes it is."

"Admit it," Gray whispered, "You're in love with me."

"Deeply in love," Natsu turned his head "That's my problem. I found love in a coffee shop, now I'm addicted to that weirdness you have."

"How poetic."

"I'm a person, poetry is in our blood. It's like an evolutionary thing."

"I went to a catholic school," Gray took a piece of Natsu's scone, "They didn't teach jack shit about evolution."

* * *

Natsu got home at about eight thirty. He left with kiss marks on his neck. Gray couldn't keep his hands off Natsu, he had to leave his love bites on his skin. Natsu took off his shoes. He didn't think Zeref was home but the tv was on, Happy was asleep on the couch. Natsu pat Happy's head and walked down the hall. The light was already flicked on, Natsu tilted his head.

"Hello?" Natsu asked.

Zeref was sitting down on the bed. His head low and a baggie in his hand. It look like he had been there for sometime. Natsu's top dresser drawer was open, the laundry basket on the ground full of Natsu's clothes. A mixture of band tees and tight jeans.

"Zeref? What are you doing in here?" Natsu said

Zeref's jaw was tight, his teeth grind back and forth. Zeref stood up, the baggie in his hand, and he forcefully pushed the bag against Natsu's chest.

"So you're popping pills now, yeah?" Zeref spat, walking pass Natsu.

"Huh? Wai- what?"

"I mean, you've been taking antidepressants for years now, but I didn't think you'd be taking other pills. Pills. Ha!" Zeref smiled out of irony, "Are you really that screwed up you take pills and go back to the needle?"

"Zeref, no, no it's not what you think," Natsu couldn't think of an excuse, It was hard to think of something when the evidence was right in front of him, "I haven't even taken them since I went to a party a little while ago."

"A party, you're always at some goddamn club or party at some ungodly hour, wasting fucking brain cells," Zeref's fingers were tight as they raced through his hair, "And when you are here you're getting high and banging Gray. You do nothing but drugs and have sex. And I let it happen!"

Zeref was mad, pissed like no other. Natsu could see the glisten of fire in Zeref's eyes. He never acted like this before. Not since Natsu had ODed. Maybe it was the fact it was pills. Pills were different than a needle or a joint. Pills burned up in the stomach, passing through the whole body that raced up to the brain. It didn't take time to roll a pill, it didn't take time to liquify a pill, all you had to do was pop it over and over again. Now with Zeref's anger, he was just bringing up other tid-bits in Natsu's life that was his pet peeves. It made Natsu break skin on his arm, he didn't even notice the small scratches he was making. He kept his head down as Zeref kept ranting.

"What am I doing wrong, Natsu? Huh?" Zeref asked, "Do I need to baby sit you? Do I need to look through everything and make sure you aren't getting fucked up again? Do I need to see the doctor and switch up your doses? What?" Zeref grabbed Natsu's scarf and pushed him up against the wall, "Answer me, Natsu. Where the hell did I go wrong with you?"

Natsu tried not to cry. He tried to not blink so the tears in his eyes could dry up. His fangs dug into the skin of his cheek, he could taste blood. Zeref looked at Natsu like a mistake, not only a mistake, but _his_ mistake. That he had made Natsu this way rather than a chemical imbalance or isolation. Natsu couldn't stand that.

"You… You didn't do anything," Natsu whispered, "It's my fault, it's all me."

Zeref clicked his tongue, "I thought you were getting better," Zeref said, bitter, "I tried my best and this is what I get. A junkie as a brother. What kind of pills are they?"

"It's ecstasy. I'm not taking any other pills."

"How can I believe that Natsu? Tell me how can I trust you?"

"You can trust me because I'm your goddamn brother!" Natsu yelled, flashing his teeth like a pinned dog, "I make mistakes but that doesn't mean I stop being your brother! I've been here alone because you needed me to be here while you work, I have to amuse myself when you're out with friends, I've done all these things because you're my brother and I trust you're doing the right thing! Even when it hurts me," Natsu pushed off Zeref's hands and marched away to his closet, " You wanna look through my room, fine, go ahead. You want drugs out of your house, fine. You can have it. I'm leaving."

"Leaving?" Zeref crossed his arms, "Where are you going to go? Who's gonna take you in?"

"I don't know, maybe Lucy will or Gray. Someone who doesn't make me feel like a fucking loser."

"That's what you're acting like, a fucking loser."

"Screw you," Natsu found a duffle bag and started stuffing it with random clothes, "I need some space from you, I need out."

"You always go out, you can't fucking stand staying in here unless it's your room."

Natsu went to the nightstand and shoved his pills in the bag. He stomped out of the room, Zeref followed, "Natsu now you're acting like a child."

Natsu said nothing as he grabbed his cassette player, headphones, and art supplies. He was about to open the door after he put on his shoes but Zeref slammed the door. Natsu turned around and glared. It looked like he would truly leave this time for good.

"Stop it. You're not leaving." Zeref said.

"Watch me," Natsu growled, "I'm old enough to make my own decisions. I can do what I want."

"No you can't, Natsu!" Zeref shouted, "That's your problem, you think you can do anything but you can't! You make these stupid decisions that make you end up hungover, or depressed," Zeref started to tear up, "Or make you end up in a hospital making me think you'll die…" He lowered his head, his hands bawled up into fists, "I'm afraid I'm going to lose you Natsu if you keep making these choices… Then I'll have nobody."

Natsu then realised that Zeref had his own fear of being alone. It must have been the reason why (other than being able to provide) that he worked so late. He needed others around him for as long as he could have them. He couldn't stand the silence between the switching of songs like Natsu. He didn't like seeing only one shadow. But Zeref still got the voices he needed to not break down, Natsu didn't. And that's what made Natsu worse than Zeref.

Zeref started to cry and slump down to his knees. He covered his face to not promote his weak state, yet it drew more attention. Natsu swallowed, he had shown this fear before, isolated in his room with music one as he tried to sail away to a populated island on the music notes. Zeref hugged Natsu's waist, Natsu licked his lips and wrapped his arms around Zeref's head and pulled him close.

"I'm sorry…" Natsu mumbled and kissed the top of Zeref's head, "I don't mean to be like this. I don't mean to scare you."

Natsu felt tears on his shirt and the quiet sobs muffling Zeref's mouth. Natsu stroked his hair, feeling his warm pants while he cried.

"I'm not gonna leave, Zeref, now calm down. Please."

Zeref swallowed, a few gasps came out more as he tried catching his breath. He wiped his eyes and nose, looking up at Natsu.

"I'm sorry I'm such a bad brother." Zeref mumbled.

"Shut up, you're not a bad brother," Natsu teased his hair, "You're an asshole sometimes but you're not bad."

Zeref sadly laughed and sniffled, "I guess we both got those characteristics," Zeref said, "Don't take any pills that aren't prescribed to you okay?"

Natsu nodded, "Deal."

Zeref opened his arms slowly. Natsu moved into them. Zeref hugged him tightly.

"How about you invite Gray and Lucy for pizza, yeah?"

"Gray has to study tonight," Natsu said, "I'll give Lucy a call."

Zeref squeezed him, "I'm throwing out those pills. Order a pizza after you talk to Lucy."

Natsu sighed. He thought that would be a waste but knew it was for the best, "Yeah, that's fine," He pulled back, "I'm getting in pajamas though."

"Sounds like a good idea. Let's have a little pajama party to make up for it. Okay?"

Natsu smiled. He did like bonding with his brother, mostly when Zeref wanted to put effort into it. Natsu scratched his arm and walked into his room. Zeref tossed out the pills as Natsu got in pajamas. It was just shorts and a big tee shirt. He called Lucy but she couldn't come over, her parents were fighting and she didn't want to tell them she was leaving. She'd knew her mother would cry and her father would become numb. She had to be there to clean up the disaster. Natsu understood and hoped for the best. After that he called and ordered two cheese pizzas. He saw Zeref sitting on the ground with joggers and a light blue tank top on. He had a few tapes scattered on the floor.

"Wanna have a Tarantino marathon?" Zeref asked, "We can watch _Pulp Fiction_ and _Reservoir Dogs._ "

Natsu sat the phone back down, "Sounds good," Happy weaved through his leg, "Hey, you wanna beer or something?"

Zeref nodded, "Yeah, that sounds good. Get yourself one too."

"You sure about that?" Natsu asked, raising an eyebrow.

Zeref shrugged, "One won't kill you. Besides, I think we both need it."

"Alright then."

Zeref popped in the tape as Natsu went to the fridge and pulled out two cans of beer. Zeref was on the couch, Natsu handed him the can as he cracked open his. He took a sip, the bubbles tickled his upper lip. He sat down by Zeref.

"So, when I was putting away your clothes I saw you've been working on your portfolio a lot," Zeref began, "They look really good."

"You think so? I've kinda just been putting everything I draw lately in a folder."

"You're serious."

"About?"

"About actually applying to colleges," Zeref took a swig of his beer, "You seem really interested in academics for once."

"Zeref, it's an art school. Not Harvard. It's not like I have to be a genius or anything to go. My SAT is normal and my grade are average. They won't think I'm anything spectacular."

Zeref shrugged, "You never know. That portfolio is pretty impressive so far. I see a lot of them are you and Gray."

Natsu hugged his legs to his chest, Happy got on the couch. He pat his head, "Well, when I think of him I usually get inspired."

Zeref smiled and tensed Natsu's hair, "My little baby boy is in love, how cute."

"Hey, shut up," Natsu glared and blushed, "He's my boyfriend, I should think of him often."

"I've never seen you think about anyone as much as him, let alone draw as much. It's sweet."

Zeref flicked his pull tab on his beer a few times, "Love means you're growing up. I can see it."

"Zeref, I'm seventeen. I have no clue what love is."

"Not every seventeen year old. But you do. It's clear you do. You have some sort of grasp on it," Zeref sounded somewhat sad, "I think you've been storing this up for someone special."

Natsu licked his bottom lip and moved over to Zeref. Zeref put his arm around Natsu.

"You wanna smoke a bowl?" Natsu asked.

"Sure,buddy."

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, favorite, follow if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	17. Rain Cloud

**Hey guys! New chapter! So this one is pretty short but since my hiatus I thought another chapter would be nice. Yay! Lots of shit goes down in this though so be ready. I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy**

* * *

Breathing, in slow motion. Now that was hard. Feeling the weight of another person, trying their hardest to be light as a feather because they know what it's like to be under pressure. It gives off this feeling Natsu only knew as warmth. Like a shield of a wool blanket. Natsu was breathing deeply, he swore he could see the white puffs of stale air. Half lidded, he could see fuzzy detail of Gray. His thick locks moving with thrusts and the beads of sweat moving to his chin. He swallowed, the small pink tint in his cheeks wouldn't fade. He loved staring at Gray during sex. Gray seemed animal-like. Even though being gentle, he always looked like he was craving.

And maybe he was. Always craving, just to touch Natsu. To be in Natsu. Gray went to Natsu's neck and kissed, he thrusted harder. He was on his forearms, fingers tangled in Natsu's hair. Natsu moaned louder, scratching down Gray's back. Natsu lifted up his hips and came, his teeth clenched and his whole body tightened up. After a few more thrusts and a last kiss, Gray came soon. Natsu looked up, Gray's face was scrunched up and his mouth open as a long groan came out. Natsu put his hand to Gray's face, he gently kissed him softly. Gray smiled and held him close. Gray pulled out and pecked Natsu's lips before sitting up and picking up his pack of cigarettes. Natsu rolled on his hip, he sat up on his elbow.

Gray put on his jeans and lit his cigarette. He opened up the window and leaned on the sill. The city was awake, bright fluorescent lights trying to lure people into restaurants and motels like moths. Gray breathed in and blew out smoke. Natsu's finger traced the wrinkles on the sheets.

"Hey, let's get married." Natsu said

Gray inhaled and immediately started to cough puffs of smoke, he waved his hand and turned to look at Natsu, "W-what?" Gray choked out.

"Married. Me and you."

"You're joking, right? You're still seventeen."

"But I'm almost eighteen," Natsu started to sit up, the bed sheets around his hips, "Yeah, I can see it now. I finish off the year, we can find an apartment somewhere. I can work somewhere while you go to school."

"Natsu, where is this coming from?" Gray asked, flicking out his cigarette, "It's kinda random and kinda serious don't you think?"

Natsu lowered his head down, "Well, yeah. But think about it, how sweet would it be if we just lived together and just be with each other."

"That does sound nice Natsu but what's the real reason you're saying this?"

Natsu diverted his eyes away and licked his lips. Gray sat down and stroked back Natsu's bangs.

"You turned in your portfolio didn't you?" Gray asked.

Natsu swallowed and cuddled close to Gray. He put his head in Gray's lap, "Yeah," Natsu sighed, "I did."

"Did you turn it into that college in California?"

Natsu nodded.

"Well why would you want to turn that down to work? You could get in."

Natsu closed his eyes and nuzzled in Gray's lap. He held on his pants leg. Natsu was already thinking of the worse. There was no acceptance in the school, there were better students than him, there was just no way he could get in with Natsu's mind set. There was something that always let doubt win with him. That's when he always hopped from the ledge.

"Don't take this the wrong way…" Natsu trailed, "But you're kinda like a safety net for me."

Natsu looked up for Gray's expression, "Natsu," Gray began, "I'm taking this the wrong way. What do you mean I'm a safety net? Like I'm something to fall back on if you fail."

"No,no, no not like that kind of safety net. Like…" Natsu swallowed, "I just feel… Good around you. Like, I don't have to try anything or have to be someone else around others. I just need you," Natsu sat up and kissed Gray, "If I'm with you, I don't have to fail."

Gray inhaled deeply and kissed Natsu back.

"We're not running away and getting married," Gray muttered, "I wouldn't be able to stand you if we did."

"And it's not legal…"

"And you're so young."

"You're young…"

"And we, in no way, have enough money."

Natsu looked down and gently sighed, "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to just shout out,huh?"

Gray faintly chuckled and kissed down Natsu's neck, "Did you think about marrying me before?"

Natsu clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes, "Shut up, Popsicle."

"No, I asked a question. Tell me."

Natsu's eyes closed, his fingers ran back in the ends of Gray's dark locks, "Sometimes…" Natsu breathed, "Zeref and I recently had a talk. He made me realize something. Something that I wouldn't let myself know."

"What?" Gray whispered.

"That I had never been so deeply in love with someone before," Gray looked up at Natsu and tilted his head, Natsu held his cheeks, "That I would throw away my life, just to be apart of yours. And I never noticed but all of my art now, it's all because of you. You're in my head constantly and you won't butt out. I didn't know this, but I love it. I love how you won't leave."

Gray's eyes glistened, the glow looking like a single star in a black sky. Gray's fingers lightly grazed Natsu's bottom lip, almost like he wanted to catch his words.

"You keep me safe, Gray," Natsu whispered, "I can't lose that."

Gray swallowed and kissed Natsu's cheek before pulling him into a hug.

"Shush, dummy. I'm not going anywhere," Gray said, "You can't keep me by strapping me down and marrying me."

Natsu giggled, "Okay, drop the marriage thing already."

"Hey you're the one who brought it up."

Gray kept kissing Natsu over and over again. All over his face and neck. Natsu kept squirming and trying to move back. They heard a knock at the door and stopped.

"Hey, everyone decent in there?" It was Lyon.

"Yeah, decent enough," Gray said, Lyon opened the door, "What's up?"

"Yeah, uh there's this girl that wants to talk to Natsu. Her name is Lucy," Lyon said, "She's in the living room right now."

"Luc? Luc is here?" Natsu leaned forward and threw off the covers, pulling on his boxers, "What's she doing here?"

"That's what I want to know. She just showed up and said she needed you. And quickly."

"Shit." Natsu immediately got up and pulled up his jeans and tossed on his shirt. He was hobbling out of the door and quickly into the living room. He saw bursts of blonde from Lucy's hair. She wore a purple shirt with one shoulder falling down and light jeans that rolled up at the ankles. She had on a white puffy jacket. She sighed in relief and marched towards Natsu, she grabbed his wrist.

"Jesus, come on, Erza is waiting outside." Lucy said, rushed.

"Luc, what's up? What happened?" Natsu asked, pulling his hand away.

"Juvia. It's Juvia," Lucy licked her pink lips, her jaw trembled, "She tried to kill herself."

"She what?!" Natsu exclaimed, "Gray, get your shit together, we're leaving right now. Come on!"

"Thank god, get your ass in gear Gray!" Lucy shouted.

"Please don't tell in my house." Lyon said.

"Wait, what are we doing? Where are we going?"Gray asked

"The hospital," Lucy repeated, "Juvia tried to kill herself."

"Oh sweet Jesus, lemme get a shirt on and some shoes."

They all heard a honk from outside, Lucy moved over to the window and opened it, "We'll be out in a minute, fucking wait!" Lucy groaned and shut the window, "Hurry, Erza is burning gas like there's no tomorrow."

Gray hurried and threw on a shirt and hobbled into his shoes. He said bye to Lyon and the three of them ran downstairs. They could smell the exhaust from Erza's truck. Jellal sat in front, they all squeezed in the bed of the truck as the freezing cold air hit their cheeks. They sniffled as drops of snot came out. With their lips chapping, they had nothing to say. They just wrapped their arms around themselves as they kept their eyes out for the hospital.

After thirty or forty minutes, they reached the hospital and parked. Once they entered the hospital, Natsu's mind flooded. He thought of the first time when he broke his arm that he was taken here. Or when he was born, not remembering what his faceless mother was like. Was she crying? Smiling? Natsu didn't know. Natsu remembered how bright the lights were here when he ODed. How sterile the air was and how difficult it was to breath. Natsu swallowed and held his arm as the nurse led them to Juvia's room. She was under suicide watch for at least three days. In the hallways, roaming between rooms, were people taking drags of their cigarettes in hospital gowns.

Girls emaciated, mostly from their bodies feeding on them like parasites. Eyes dark and sunken into skulls, feet lingering as far as the nurses would let them. Boys covered in bruises, holding their bodies for some kind of warmth they didn't have. All these patients looked like dissapointed. Not dissapointed because the tried to kill themselves, but because they didn't succeed. The nurse opened the door and stepped to the side, letting everyone slowly walk in. Getting used to the blank walls and mediocre decor. Maria was already there in a small chair. And then they saw her.

Juvia gently smiled. Her face was pale, her lips were redder because of this. Her eyes were half way open as she slowly sat up. She scratched her head and yawned like nothing had happened. Unbelievable.

"Hey, guys," Juvia waved, lazily. Bandages were around her wrists, "Nice to see you."

"Oh my god," Lucy walked over to her and wrapped her arms around Juvia. She started to tear up, "I was so worried about you. You're so lucky Mira was there."

Juvia chuckled, sickly, "Yeah… Guess you're right…"

Juvia was smiling, but it wasn't genuine. Just something to relax everybody. Erza couldn't say anything, if she did it wouldn't be something Juvia wouldn't want to hear. She tapped her foot and crossed her arms. Jellal held her shoulders and rubbed.

"I can't. I can't do this right now." Erza put up her hands and walked out of the room. Jellal followed after her as the door closed. They must of had to go outside.

Natsu swallowed and scratched his arm. Mira cleared her throat and started to stand up, "Lucy, Natsu, could you step out with with me really quick?"

Lucy pulled back and looked over at her. She sniffled and nodded. Natsu looked over at Gray quick.

"Will you be okay with staying in here?"

"Yeah, it's fine," Gray said, "Juvia and I have some catching up to do anyway."

Natsu gave Gray a kiss on the cheek and followed Lucy and Mira out. They shut the door and Gray sat down. Natsu leaned back against the door.

"God she looks awful." Natsu muttered.

Lucy punched his shoulder, "That's what happens when you almost die, idiot," Lucy said, "You should know."

"You should have seen her at her house," Mira clasped her hands together, "Her tub flooded and the water was… Just full of blood. She looked lifeless."

"She slit her wrists…" Natsu mumbled.

Mira nodded, "I don't know why she would do something like that. It's insane."

Gray and Juvia could hear the muffled voices through the door. Juvia laid down on the bed, looking up at the lights. Gray fiddled his thumbs. Juvia suddenly faintly giggled.

"I screwed up big time, huh?"

"No, a screw up is breaking a vase in the house," Gray said, "This is something way different than a screw up."

Juvi closed her eyes and rubbed his face, "Why did I invite Mira over a week ago?" She asked herself.

"Probably because you were more full of life then," Gray pushed back his bangs, "What happened to that?"

Juvia turned to face Gray. She smiled, "My heart has been broken one too many times," She bit her lip, "My boyfriend broke up with me," Juvia's lashes started to dampen, "What the hell is so bad about me? Everyone leaves me always. It's like a fucking rain cloud is over my head and everyone can see it."

Gray scooted up the chair and rubbed her shoulder, "Hey, don't say that, sunshine. You don't have a cloud over you. What did I tell you the first time we met?"

Juvia wiped her eyes, "That I'll find somebody…"

"That's right. And how are you gonna find anybody if you try to hurt yourself?"

"Hopefully no one… Everyone I meet who I fall in love with always leaves me. I can't deal with it anymore," Juvia shook her head, "It's awful not having anyone. Even my parents left me because they couldn't deal with me."

Gray leaned down and kissed Juvia's forehead. It made her look at Gray in awe. Her bottom lip quivered.

"Juvia, I know it's hard living with heartache," Gray tucked her blue hair behind her ear, "But you'll find someone who likes rainy days."

Juvia sat up and buried her face in Gray's shoulder. She started to sob while Gray pat her back. She needed to hear that, because she never believed in it before. That her flaws would land her love.

"Gray, why can't you be single?" Juvia mutted.

Gray sighed, "I found someone who liked cold nights and I found someone who was a hot morning."

Juvia laughed as tears fell down her eyes, "He got so lucky with you… Natsu is so in love with you."

"Believe me, I know," Gray chuckled, "Tonight he told me he thinks he wants to get married to me."

"You're kidding." Juvia looked up.

"Swear to God. He wants to run away with me. Isn't that cute?"

Juvia snickered and bit her lip, "Would you do it? Runaway with him?"

Gray hummed, "I don't know. Maybe if we were still together and we've grown up a bit. I think I could get hitched with Flamebrain."

"Flamebrain? Is that a pet name?"

The others left Juvia and Gray alone to talk. And laugh. And cry. That's what being alive was about.

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, favorite and follow if you did. Helps me out a ton. See you next update._


	18. Iceberg

**Hey guys! New chapter! It's a little shorter than what I wanted but it's how I wanted this chapter to turn out so I hope that's okay with you guys! I do not own Fairy Tail nor the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

After a couple of weeks, Juvia's wrists healed and Natsu got a letter back from the university of California arts and music. But he wasn't close to opening it, not just yet. It was under a stack of bills and junk mail from a Chinese restaurant and places that wanted you to sign up for a new credit card. See, Natsu really wasn't expecting a letter back, so he just kept tossing mail on top of each other. But Juvia; Juvia was looking much better. She turned into a girl who melted sunshine and felt just as warm. Under her eyes were still rather dark grey, yet her smile glowed.

Especially when Gray stopped by. He was a facade, a little part of Juvia's imagination. She dreamed that her and Gray moved in together in a studio apartment. One bath one bed and she had an accident at home. Gray was visiting her as her boyfriend. But when Lucy came with Natsu, she was snapped back into reality. That Gray was Natsu's boyfriend. And that she was put in the hospital because of a suicide attempt and malnutrition. Because she didn't take care of herself. But girl could dream. And dreaming was good enough for Juvia.

Gray pulled a strand of Juvia's blue hair while she sipped orange juice and watched TV.

"I think your hair has gotten longer" Gray said.

"Hmm? You think so?" Juvia asked, tilting her head, "It's just been a little while."

"Yeah, but there's just something about it, I dunno."

"It's probably just greasy. I don't like showering here."

Gray chuckled and let the piece fall, "Have you started to sleep better since that doctor gave you those pills?"

Juvia shrugged and set her cup down, "Kinda, but I'm still having weird dreams."

"Still? What about now?"

"Yesterday I had a dream about an aquarium," Juvia said and laid down on the bed, "But the animals just ran around free, swimming through the air. And the sharks were huge!" Juvia had her arms up. She liked talking with her hands, "And there were whales and dolphins and schools of fish an-"

"Did it end the same way they always do?" Gray asked

Juvia sighed, her hands fell down to her chest, "Yeah… I cut my wrists again with a kitchen knife… And my blood filled the whole room up."

She hated this outcome. Not because it was scary, but because it was a motif now in her dreams. It was boring, she got the idea, she still wanted to die. But she didn't need to keep drilling it in her head. Gray looked down at the ground, they stayed silent while _Full House_ played in the background.

"You know…" Juvia began and picked at her decreased bandages,"I wish I could have a dream about people I love. Not about fishes."

Gray lifted up his head, "Well, I think everyone wants that. Maybe you have and you just can't remember them."

"Why would I forget a dream about someone I love?"

Gray shrugged, "You got me there, Juv."

"Have you ever had a dream with someone you love?"

"Me? Well I mean sure I have. I've dreamt about my mother, my father Ur-"

"And Natsu?" Juvia interrupted, "Him too?"

Gray licked his lips and kinda laughed. He scratched the back of his neck and smiled, "Yeah, him too. I've dreamt about him."

Juvia rolled on her hip, having her cheek in her hand, "What are they like? Tell me."

Gray sighed, and tried to rummage in the back of his mind. Remembering the greatest scenes he had made up, he looked in a daze with a silly grin on his face.

"Well, I had a dream that Natsu and I lived on a farm and we fucked in hay."

"How romantic," Juvia rolled her eyes "What else?"

"Well, one time we went to this club and it was on the moon and somehow we could breath out there- I dunno- but the sky was beautiful. It looked like something Natsu would actually sketch or paint. Maybe that's why it looked so beautiful…" Gray's leg wobbled, he bit his thumb slightly as he smiled. Like he was so excited over a dream, "I once dreamt we just laid in bed. Natsu was asleep and we were floating on an iceberg. He was so cold and shivering, I just held him close. That's all the dream was. Just me holding him… I never wanted to go to sleep because I loved looking at him. Then I woke up and wished I could go back to sleep."

Juvia looked engaged. She felt like she could cry. Juvia had never seen someone describe a fictional event with such delicate words. And about a person, no, no one had even been imagined like that. She was somewhat jealous of that. Gray slapped his legs.

"What about you?" Gray asked, taking the light off of him "Have you had a dream with someone you love?"

"No, but I'm afraid of the outcome if I did," Juvia mumbled, "I've been wanting to have one though…."

"Well tell me how you would like it to be."

Juvia sat up slowly. She put her knees to her chest and closed her eyes. Juvia started to form mental pictures in her head. It started off black, and images started to show up fuzzy.

"I want it to be on a hot beach," Juvia breath, "The sun beating down on my skin, sand over my toes. I want to see him in the waves with the water splashing him," She ran her fingers through her bangs, "I want to see him look at me like the way you look at Natsu," Juvia looked at Gray, tears filled in her eyes as she smiled, "Happy."

* * *

Natsu picked up the pile of (what he assumed to be) junk mail. He was hungry, Zeref was going to work late tonight and he hadn't gone grocery shopping yet. He knew he saw a pamphlet for a take-out restaurant somewhere. He kept discarding the envelopes one by one until he finally got to it. A letter back from the college. He only did the California college as a "joke". He didn't think he'd actually get something back. His stomach dropped, he lost his appetite

The letter was in a manila envelope. There was no creases or wrinkles, only smoothness. The sticker on the front showed the address of the school in nice black printed letters. Natsu's full name was above all that. The sight of it made his mouth dry. Natsu pulled out a kitchen chair and deeply released a breath from his stomach. He almost didn't want to break the seal of the thick paper. He quickly reached over in the fridge and got out a can of beer. He cracked it open and took a big gulp.

He pressed his fingernail in the paper and started to tear. The sound of the ripping sounded like the cutting of bone. Disturbing. He took out the folded letter and started to read it with caution. His chest rose up. His greatest fear had become real.

"Oh god…"

* * *

Gray came over at around nine. He went back to work after his lunch break at the hospital. He had to close and refill a few to-go coffee cups before he left. He assumed the door would be open (he was right) and walked in. Natsu lifted up his head. He was sitting on the couch, legs spread and the letter open. Gray smiled, put his hand on Natsu's shoulder and kissed his forehead.

"Hey, baby," Gray said, he saw a Chinese take-out container on the table, "Aw yeah, you got lo mein in here?"

"It's empty," Natsu replied, "I have some egg rolls and some egg drop left if you want any."

"Fuck yeah. In the fridge? I'm starving" Gray asked.

"Can you just sit down for a second before you get that? I need to talk to you."

Gray stood up straight, "Yeah, yeah sure," Gray sat down on the couch, "What's up?"

Natsu sighed and pulled up the letter, "So, I sent some photos of my portfolio, right? I just wanted to make sure I could send it so I sent it to the college in California. You know, just to make sure I could send it and stuff and get a rejection letter back."

"And?"

Natsu bit his lip and put the paper on the table, "They want to fly me to California for an interview…."

Gray's eyes widened. His eyes scanned the paper. Picking out keywords that stuck out like a grand sore thumb.

"Natsu… This is wonderful."

"What?" Natsu asked, surprised.

"This is awesome, when are you going? Like, the end of this month or something?"

"Wait, wait, wait," Natsu rubbed his temples before looking back at Gray, "You think this is a good thing?"

"Well yeah, why wouldn't I? I knew you'd have a chance to get into that school."

Natsu blinked. He was unable to really understand why Gray was so happy. Natsu honestly believed that Gray was saying that just to make him happy. But now that this was playing through, he realized Gray had been serious. And Natsu didn't really like that. California was so far away, so far from Gray.

"But, but that means I have to leave Gray," Natsu stood up and ran his fingers through his hair, "You don't want that do you?"

"Natsu," Gray stood up and put his hands on Natsu's shoulders, "This is a big opportunity for you."

Natsu's heart started to beat faster. The fire in his throat started to burn. He shook his head and turned away from Gray. He started to pace back.

"No, no it's not supposed to be like this," Natsu said, rubbing his arm, "You're supposed to want me to stay here with you. Be with you. Not wanting to send me off."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you fucking love me!" Natsu exclaimed, turning back,"You do love me don't you?"

"Of course I do, babe," Gray walked over and kissed his cheek, "I love you enough to let you go. I want to see you do big things."

Natsu clicked his tongue, "That's like you saying you don't want me here at all…" Natsu mumbled, anxiety starting to set in, "Gray, are you bored of me?"

"What?! No! No, no, no, no not at all," Gray waved his hands, "I love being with you all the time."

"Then why would you want me to leave?" Natsu shyly asked, his eyes tearing up, "I don't want to go. And you're telling me to leave. Why?"

"I told you, this is a chance for you. You told me this was the best school for art-"

"So?! There are a lot of other schools I can go to than that one! If that school wants to interview me than the arts college in Ohio will defiantly accept me, " Natsu cried, "I don't want to go somewhere so far from you…." Natsu clenched his teeth and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, "But you don't seem to care to see me go…"

"Natsu, why are you freaking out so much? It's only an interview," Gray said, "And, and even if you get accepted I'll visit you whenever I can. We can call each other every night and-"

"That's not the same!" Natsu tore away from Gray, his breathing got harder, "I get it, you want me to leave and try to have a better shot in life but I don't want it if I can't be with you, how hard is that to under-fucking- stand, idiot!"

"Calm down!" Gray said, holding Natsu tightly, "Stop it, if that school was here I'd tell you to go. If that school was in fucking Africa I'd tell you to go. I want you to live your life not based on me."

"But my life _is_ based on you right now. And that's what I'm worried about. The present. Not some fucking future that I have. It's you! It's you, you, you!"

Natsu jammed his finger in Gray's chest. Tears started to stream down his cheeks as the enraged face stayed. Gray grabbed Natsu's forearms and gently looked him up and down.

"Natsu… Are you off your meds?"

Natsu shakily breathed, "Get out," Natsu shuttered, "Now."

"Natsu, please-" Gray caught himself. Just looking at Natsu he knew he couldn't get through to him.

Gray swallowed. He aimed to kiss Natsu but his head turned. Gray kissed his cheek and walked to the door.

"Call me. Whenever you feel better talk to me."

"Get out of here already."

"You know you're a big pain in my ass."

"And you're a pain in mine! Now leave!"

Natsu picked up the wireless and tossed it towards Gray's head. It hit the wall, causing Gray to flinch down and the phone breaking into big chunks.

"Jesus!" Gray screamed.

Natsu charged after him and try to push him out, "Leave already!"

Gray shut the door and grabbed Natsu's wrists tightly. He slammed Natsu against the door. Natsu flinched and growled low.

"Stop it, you're freaking out too much." Gray said, calmly.

"Then get out, let me freak out in peace!"

"How can I leave you like this?!" Gray jerked Natsu's wrists, "You're going to do something stupid because that's what you do when you're like this!"

"Why care?! You don't want to see me apparently!"

"Natsu I do want to see you-"

"Yeah see me off a thousand miles away! Are you telling me you'll drive a thousand miles to smoke a bowl with me? See a movie with me? Fuck me?"

"If it means being with you then yes!" Gray towered over Natsu.

He kissed him deeply. Natsu's eyes scrunched up, trying to resist kissing back. His hands lowered down as Gray pressed against him. Gray pulled back, kissing up Natsu's neck.

"I'll do anything to be with you," Gray whispered warmly in Natsu's ear, "Even if that means seeing you go."

Natsu's jaw trembled. He started to feel numb, he held his breath. Trying to imagine himself in his room. Not thinking of Gray's lips on his skin was hard. Gray put his hand up Natsu's shirt and lifted it over his head. Natsu didn't resist. He was just still. Trying to slow his heart rate.

Gray pressed his hips on Natsu's, he moaned quietly. Gray pulled him closer.

"You aren't okay with this are you?" Gray asked.

"Gray, I don't care. I literally don't care."

"Yes you do," Gray kissed Natsu's jaw line, "I can hear it in your voice."

"Then I won't talk anymore."

"Then I'll just take you to bed. Because I think you need to know I'm here for you Natsu."

"And fucking me is the best way to show that?"

"No," Gray picked Natsu up by his thighs and held him, "Making love can try to convince you."

That made Natsu's whole body tingle. _Why_ did Gray have to talk like that? Why did he have to make sparks fly in Natsu? Why did he have to make Natsu feel so attached? How could Gray not react to Natsu abandoning him? Gray pressed his lips against Natsu's. Natsu gripped Gray's shirt tightly as Gray carried him to his room. Gray kicked the door open lightly and fell on the bed. He stayed over Natsu like he was a shield. He kissed him all over his revealing skin. Gray took off his shirt and tossed it. Natsu gazed over his tone muscles, literally looking at him like the statue of David. He always did think Gray belonged in a museum. Gray lowered his head down Natsu's stomach. Leaving little bruises on the way down to his hips. Gray lowered off Natsu's pants and boxers. Gray brushed his head nose over Natsu's thighs. Natsu still kept the same face.

Emotionless, yet this fire trapped in his eyes couldn't be masked. His body would quiver often from Gray's touches. Or how Gray would kiss him in just the right spots. Yet he still felt as if Gray wanted out. Maybe that was the lack of meds making him think that but Natsu saw it all the same.

"You alright?" Gray murmured.

"Peaches and cream."

Gray rolled his eyes, "You're such a liar…"

"Whatever." Natsu sighed.

"And you're stubborn, and mean," Gray reached for a bottle of lube and started to undo his belt. He kissed Natsu's neck deeply again, "But it's what I love so much about you."

Gray poured the lube over his cock and started to stroke himself. He positioned himself over Natsu and looked down at him. His kids were half way closed and his head faced the wall to the side. Gray kissed Natsu's cheek.

"I love you…" Gray whispered.

Natsu closed his eyes all the way, "I love you too." He breathed.

* * *

After they had sex, Natsu laid in bed. Completely naked with the covers over him. Gray was smoking a cigarette, looking over Natsu's body. He tried to reach over and stroked Natsu's arm. Clearly, he was still upset.

Gray brought his knees up to his chest.

"I'm sorry about that…." Gray apologized.

Natsu rolled over on his hip and brought the covers over his mouth.

"I think you should get out of here." Natsu replied lowly.

Gray breathed out and tapped the ash for the cig, "Yeah, yeah, I'll go," Gray moved off the bed and jumped into his jeans, he kissed Natsu's forehead as he put on his belt, "Take care of yourself, okay Natsu? And call me. Please please call me."

"Hit the light on your way out."

Gray shook his head and tugged on his shirt. He opened the door and looked back. He gripped the frame tightly.

"I love you, Natsu."

"Love you too."

Gray left. Natsu started to sob. And scream. And later, dreamed.

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. review, follow and favorite if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	19. Ripped Pieces

**Hey! New chapter guys! It's pretty short again but that's mostly because of finals week really is coming up soon. So bare with me guys please and thank you. I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

Natsu's hand was motionless as his head rested in Zeref's lap. Cigarette smoke tickled Zeref's nose as ash kept falling on the floor from the lack of Natsu tapping it out. His eyelids were hanging down low. He had taken at least four Xanax's, his mouth was parted. Natsu hadn't even taken a puff of his cigarette yet since he lit it. When Zeref got home, he saw that the phone had been broken and that Natsu ripped up a few papers from his portfolio while Natsu was asleep on the couch. Beer cans were over the coffee table. He had gotten up after Gray left from not being able to stay asleep for long. There was oil pastel and charcoal on his skin and he had left on his hands. The hands that created it and also destroyed it. _Sailor Moon_ was on and her transformation scene was happening.

Zeref lazily watched as he stroked Natsu's hair. He knew Natsu had some sort of breakdown. Zeref just didn't know how to bring it up yet so he called Lucy at midnight to see if she could get him out of the house. Of course she could. Her parents were out for one of their random "vacations" where they just drank too much down in Florida. Right now, Zeref just wanted to keep Natsu calm and quiet.

"Natsu, can you end the cigarette?" Zeref asked, "I'm afraid you're gonna set the house on fire."

Natsu sighed and put the cigarette in a empty beer can.

"What's wrong, Natsu?"

"Nothing…"

"Really, what's wrong with you? You ruined some of your portfolio pieces. And you're obviously drunk-"

"Not anymore." Natsu interrupted.

"What happened?"

"Gray- fucking- Fullbuster," Natsu gritted, pulling on Zeref's pant leg, "That asshole ticks me off sometimes."

"Gray? You guys got in a fight I assume."

"Yeah… Let's leave it at that."

Zeref sighed. His fingers coarsed in Natsu's pink hair. He remembered how soft Natsu's hair was when he was a baby, how little there was on his plump head. When he was upset, Zeref only knew to stoke the top of his head. Somehow it would always sooth him. Now that Natsu was older, he needed a drink and some pills to relax.

Zeref missed those days when Natsu's life was easier. It made life for Zeref easier. But now, 1994 was just the hardest year of the century. He leaned down and kissed Natsu's ear.

"Natsu, just know that I love you more than life." Zeref whispered.

"I know you do, Zeref…" Natsu said just as quiet, "But that doesn't mean it'll always help."

A knock came to the door, Natsu moved his head while Zeref got up. He opened the door. Lucy had her hair up in a high ponytail and light blue jeans. She wore a pastel pink hoodie that came below her belly button. She smiled at Zeref.

"Hey, where is the big baby?" Lucy asked, hushed.

"I'm not a big baby," Natsu mumbled and put on his shoes, "Are we gonna get out of here or what?"

"Oh, you're grumpy alright," Lucy giggled slightly, trying to make a bad situation better, "Come on, I have pizza and ice cream at home with your name on it."

"Sea salt caramel?"

"What else would I get?

Natsu rested out and a small smile came on his face, "You're awesome," Natsu walked out, "I'll see you tomorrow Zeref."

"See you tomorrow. Stay out of trouble" Zeref replied and waved.

It took about twenty minutes to get to Lucy's house due to the lack of traffic. Lucy gave him a tee shirt and a pair of shorts someone left over from who knows how long ago. He was wrapped up in a blanket sitting on the couch while Lucy put the pizza in the oven and started to scoop out some ice cream into bowls. She had put on some _Nirvana_ lowly in the living room. _In Bloom_ was one of Natsu's favorite songs and it was stuck on repeat. Lucy had changed into blue fuzzy shorts and a yellow tank top that rode up her stomach. She had to continue to pull it down. She came into the living room and handed a cold bowl to him.

"Okay, Natsu, I got you, I put on your favorite band and I'm feeding you. So," Lucy sighed as she crossed her legs on the couch. Natsu started shoveling ice cream in his mouth, "What's up with you?"

Natsu glared at Lucy slightly for the question. She did have the right to know. He slit his eyes and swallowed. Carmel already got on the corner of his lips, the salty vanilla went down smooth.

"Gray…" Natsu grumbled.

"Yes? What about Gray? I need more detail than that if I'm gonna help you out here."

Natsu rolled his eyes."Help, why do I always need help?"

"Natsu, we're talking about Gray here. What's with you and Gray?"

"He's just being a dick is all," Natsu got another scoop of ice cream, "You know how I told you I sent that portfolio to that school in California as like a joke?"

Lucy nodded, "Yeah, I remember."

"Well… They want me to go for an interview… And Gray was really excited about it. Like, way excited about it," Natsu lowered his head the blanket dropped to his shoulders, "What guy would just want to see his boyfriend up and leave like that? Unless he doesn't want me anymore," Natsu clicked his tongue, "It's bullshit."

"Wait, you got an interview with the school?!" Lucy exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Natsu's neck, wiggling her butt as she giggled, "That's amazing! That' one of the best art schools there is! You have to go, you just have to!"

Natsu growled and pushed Lucy off of him, "Don't you get it! I don't want to go! Why the fuck does everyone just want me to leave?!"

The veins on Natsu's arms popped, his fists were becoming red. Clearly he was getting upset by his opportunity Lucy couldn't understand why Natsu was like this.

"But, you sent it in," Lucy reminded, "You must have thought you had _some_ chance of getting in."

"No, I didn't, I was expecting a decline letter from them."

"Natsu, you could have turned in that portfolio to any other school. Why pick one if you don't even want to go to it? That's a waste of time if you ask me," Lucy moved on her knees and shuffled over, "What's the real reason why you turned in your portfolio, baby?" Lucy held Natsu's cheek.

Natsu took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. Natsu really did have to search for some sort of real answer. He saw the picture now, "Gray talked me up so much that I could get into a school like that… I had to see if I just _could_. I didn't think it would really happen," Natsu bit his lip and released, "Maybe I just wanted to see Gray want to keep me here. To want me to stay here."

Natsu thickly swallowed. He bit the inside of his cheek and rubbed his eyes. Lucy thumped him on the head.

"Ow-wah!" Natsu exclaimed, "The fuck was that for?!"

"You're an idiot," Lucy pouted, "Of course Gray doesn't _want_ you to go. He thinks you _should_ go. Learn the difference asshole."

Natsu rubbed the red spot on his forehead. He tried to understand what Lucy was getting at.

"But-"

"No, you better apologize to that boy tomorrow. He's trying to look out for you. If I know Gray he's gonna want to call you and see you whenever he can if you go to California. That means he loves you. He won't think you're leaving him if he didn't love you. Because he'll feel like you're still with him. So don't be such a bitch when you see him."

Natsu's breath shuttered. His eyes were being pried open. He had to view the error of his ways how Lucy were telling them to him.

"Lucy…" Natsu trailed, "You are my blonde bitchy angel."

Lucy smirked and hugged Natsu tightly. Natsu took in her scent. The smell of vanilla and wood cleaner in the nape of her neck. They stayed stuck like this till the timer on the oven went off.

* * *

Gray sat in his bean bag chair. It was about two in the morning and he only had two more cigarettes left in his pack. The whole room smelt like ash from a burning building. He had been smoking continuously since he left Natsu's. He didn't care to open a window, maybe he wanted to feel smothered by the smoke. Lyon let it slide today, it seemed like Gray didn't want to be bothered. Lyon never really understood what to do in this situation, when he himself was upset he'd be a hurricane of crazy anger and overcoming sadness. It was best for him to be alone. So he thought the same thing for Gray would be fine. Lyon had classes he had to wake up for anyway.

The phone out in the living room started to ring. It didn't even take Gray a second to run up out of the bean bag chair and out of his room. He wasn't gonna waste the chance if it was Natsu. He felt like he could immediately apologize and he could get all this over with. He picked up the phone and put it to his ear.

"Hello? Natsu?" Gray asked, frantic.

"Close. It's Zeref."

Gray sighed, his whole body felt disappointed, "Zeref, hey. How's it going?"

"It's pretty good," Zeref said, "Natsu is over at Lucy's house. Sorry to make you get excited over nothing."

Gray shallowly laughed and pinched his brow, "No, no it's fine. Just…"

"Just that you were expecting Natsu to call."

"Yeah, I was," Gray sat on the couch, "I'm guessing you know he's pissed off at me yeah?"

"I do. But the thing is I don't know why…" Zeref trailed, their was a small pause, "I saw Natsu put in his portfolio to the college in California."

"He didn't tell you?"

"No, and I'm gonna say that you didn't know at first either."

Gray ran his fingers through his hair, "Yeah, yeah I didn't know he put it in…"

"What did you tell him?" Zerf asked

"Huh? Oh…" Gray dug out his cigarettes and put on in his mouth, "I told him he should go, I thought it would be a great chance for him," Gray lit his cigarette and inhaled, "Then he got pissed off and told me to leave. How was he after I left anyway?"

"Passed out on the couch from drinking. He ripped his portfolio."

"He what?!"

"Yeah I know, what a waste right?" Zeref chuckled slightly, "I think he's afraid of leaving. I think he wanted you to tell him to stay."

"Yeah… But if you love something set it free you know? And it's not like I'm just gonna ditch him when he goes. I'll call him and drive up all the time whenever I can."

"See, Natsu's afraid of when you're going to run out of gas money. When you don't have enough time to call him. When you're so busy with school you forget about him," Zeref sighed, "He can't deal with being abandoned again, Gray."

Gray's lips felt dry, the smoke slowly faded on his lips and into his nostrils. He felt trapped somehow. Like his ribs were living up to their name and caging him inside. Gray knew what Natsu wanted to hear. But that didn't mean that he wanted to say it.

"What am I going to have to do?" Gray asked.

"You're gonna have to show him all the love in the world to make him go to that interview. That's the only way he'll leave."

Gray smiled and shook his head, "You make it sound easy."

"With you, I know it's easy."

The phone went silent. Zeref had hung up and Gray had gotten to the end of his cigarette. He hung up the phone and picked it up again. He started dialing a number and waited for the receiver to pick up.

"Yeah, Juvia speaking," Juvia yawned, "Who is it?"

"Hey, doll, it's Gray."

"Gray," Her voice lightened up, "Hey, what are you doing calling me so late?"

"I want to hear about one of your dreams." Gray said.

"Gray, isn't it a little late for this?"

"It's never too late, Juv. Come on, I need to hear about a dream."

Juvia sighed, "Well, the one I was having before you woke me was…. Absolutely enchanting."

Gray blew out smoke, "What do you mean by that?"

"I was dreaming about a young man. We were in the kitchen and we started to argue. Very loud and very disruptive. I started to cry and he stormed out."

"This doesn't sound fairytale- like."

"But it was… Because it hurt so much. Gray, I finally had a dream about someone I love. Some mystery guy is who I love."

Gray leaned back against the couch, "How did it end?"

"I apologized over whatever happened and he held me close."

* * *

It was Sunday afternoon, church had just gotten out and Lucy was driving Natsu to the coffee shop to see Gray. She parked her car in the corner of the parking lot. She pulled out the key and lifted up her buggy sunglasses.

"Now, you're gonna go in there," Lucy started, folding up her glasses, "See Gray, tell him you're sorry as hell for being such an idiot-"

"Watch your mouth, Lucy." Natsu warned.

"And then you two will make up. Now are you sure he's working today?"

Natsu nodded, "He always works early on Sunday, he works a double. I see his shitty truck too."

"Okay, I'll wait out here then and take you home after."

Natsu unclipped his seatbelt and grabbed his bag from the back, "You did what I told you to do right?" Lucy asked.

"Yeah, it's in my bag."

"Good boy, now go in there and kiss your boyfriends' ass."

"Roger that."

Natsu opened the door as he got out and closed it after. He held on tight to the strap on his bag as he opened the door. Gray was humming, working on a woman's hot chocolate, adding a large squirt of whip cream and drizzling chocolate syrup. He smiled up at her before seeing Natsu. Natsu shrugged up and shyly grinned and moved behind the counter and wiped his hands on the back of his jeans.

"Hey, Natsu." Gray greeted.

"Hi, Gray," Natsu looked at the ground before lifting up his head, "Gray I just wanted to sa-"

"No, No, you don't have to say anything. I'm sorry for what I said yesterday."

Natsu's eyes widened, "Hey, no, I'm sorry for what happened. I was a giant dick yesterday. Don't apologize to me."

"But I'm sorry."

"No, you aren't, you don't have to be, you have nothing to be sorry about."

"But-"

"I said no. You didn't do anything yesterday," Natsu snapped, "I know you want me to go to that school… And I'm gonna see if I can go too."

Gray was surprised. Natsu was acting rather big today. He smiled wide and pick up Natsu by his hips.

"Natsu! I'm so proud of you, baby!"

The few people in the shop started to stare at Natsu and Gray. Natsu blushed a deep shade of red and kicked his legs.

"Hey! Put me down, people are looking, dummy."

Gray dropped him to the floor and started to kiss him face. Natsu put his hands on Gray's chest, trying to pull him off.

"I'm so proud of you, I really am. I'm so glad you're doing this," Gray kissed Natsu's cheek, "You know if you get in, I'm not gonna forget about you right?"

"Yeah, Lucy taught me that yesterday," Natsu said, he started to unzip his bag, he pulled out a folded piece of paper, "Here, this is for you."

"What is it?" Gray asked, taking the paper.

"An apology gift. A little something from me to you. I had to pick it up from the apartment this morning," Natsu kissed Gray quick, "I can't stay for long, Luc is driving me home. I'll see you later."

Natsu turned around and walked out. Gray tilted his head and started to unfold the paper, he leaned on the back of the counter. As Natsu got back in, Lucy started up the car again.

"So?"

"It went really well. He's really happy right now."

"And did you give it to him?" Lucy asked.

"Sure did."

Gray softly blush. It was of the drawing Natsu had done back when he and Natsu first met. He only knew it was because of how Natsu described it to him. His thumb ran over Natsu's signature.

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, follow, and favorite if you did. See you next update._


	20. Everything will be Alright

**Hey guys! New chapter. We're getting to the end here, people. Also, Gray is singing modern songs as like songs he's written. I don't own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

Natsu wish he could peel his skin off. Or scratch it off. Or burn it. Something so he didn't have to be himself anymore.

He told Gray he would go to the interview in California but that didn't mean he was ready to go. He was scheduled to leave in two months. Two months and his future could be decided for him. But he was ready for that. He wasn't ready for any of that yet. But he couldn't help but think about how happy Gray looked when he told him. Or how much convincing Lucy had to do. Or how proud Zeref was that he was going to take the chance. What else could he do but now go to that interview?

He had started going out to parties again. This time, making sure the music was screaming loud so no one would hear him snorting coke off of someone's bathroom sink. Or so he'd have to yell at the drug dealer over the music to give him some pills. He'd always come home distorted, tempting to scream but he just couldn't. He didn't want to wake up Zeref. So he'd cry himself to sleep several times during the night. His sheets felt like they were soaked in tears. He hadn't had Gray come over in two weeks. They did promise to talk on the phone, mostly because Natsu didn't want Gray to see him.

His eyes had dark bags under them, his skin easily bruising now from lack of nutrition. He'd been living off a diet of coffee and weed, smelling more and more like the drug itself. He hadn't been sleeping. He was fueled on pills, cigarette smoke, and caffeine to go to sleep. He had a stockpile of Xanax from cutting it completely out of his diet. School had just become finals week for the end of the first semester, so all he did was sit mindlessly in class as the teachers did their job. They didn't notice, why would they? It's a teacher's job to solve logical problems, not _real_ problems. So they saw Natsu as the same student he had always been. Lucy just thought Natsu was smoking more weed than usual. He could always play things off like this.

But tonight, this party that he was leaving, he scored big. Something he had been craving for a long time. It was after midnight when Natsu got home. Zeref was staying the night at some woman's' house after he got rent money from Igneel. Natsu breathed out deeply. He felt in his jacket. Gray was out at a gig tonight, Natsu imagined Gray's callused fingers strumming the strings on his bass, and how his raspy voice could make anything sound sweet as sugar. It made his body warm.

Happy marched around Natsu's feet, purring and begging for a pet, but Natsu couldn't right now. Not just yet. He glanced over to see his interview letter still on the coffee table. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. Natsu walked into the kitchen and looked in the sink for a dirty spoon and took it. He went into his room. He turned on his stereo and put in one of the mix tapes Gray had made him. _House of the Rising Sun_ started to play. He took off his jacket, he had on a charcoal tank top with a red sun as the design. He had a bandana tied up to his forearm. He got his pack of cigarettes and started to smoke one, swaying his hips as he listened to the music. He rubbed his eyes, picking up his plane tickets Zeref already bought. Zeref ordered them early just in case, he had never gotten plane tickets before. Natsu shook his head. He couldn't think about California. He couldn't think about leaving.

But it's not like he honestly had much in Ohio. He had Lucy of course, and Zeref and Gray… But what did that matter? He was _leaving_ them. Being abandon by the people he loved the most. The people who he opened himself up while he bled out on the table. All over again. Natsu lip quivered. He quickly finished his cigarette from just the pure stress of this trip. The trip he was taking for everyone else's sake. Natsu walked over to his dresser drawer. Turning up the volume on the stereo. He threw out some folded clothes before finding what he needed.

Natsu held the needle in his hand and gripped it tightly. He knelt down on the ground and dug in his pocket. He got out a baggie. Natsu liked his heroin already in a thin powder. He spent about three hundred dollars, saved up just for a night like this. A night where thoughts wouldn't stop. He undid the knot around arm and retied the bandana tighter. The needle in his mouth as he situated himself on the ground. He put a bit of the powder in the spoon. Natsu grabbed his lighter and with shaky hands from excitement, he lit it under the spoon. The cheap metal started to turn black, with the drug started to bubble, Natsu's mouth was almost watering.

See, heroin is actually liquid gold. Gold you inject in your blood stream and let your inners glitter. Heroin is a hero, it takes everything going wrong with your life, gather it up, lock it away in a little box and put it in a corner. Heroin was the women in white, the drug Natsu would want to marry. Natsu always thought it was amazing. It was always hard to cut out heroine. He made sure his veins on his arms were light blue and sticking out. He put the spoon on the ground, the drug now liquified and pulled up on the plunger of the needle. The drug intruded the needle, Natsu slapped his arm and pressed the needle in his skin. Blood pinching out from the sharp pinch as he injected it. Already his body fluttered.

The music filled him, he was over flowing.

 _Oh mother,_

 _Tell your children,_

 _Not to do_

 _What I have done._

* * *

Sweat was dripping off of Gray's face. The hot lights cooked him like food I an oven. He wore a trucker hat backwards and a tight t- shirt. The guitar sat in his lap as he situated himself on the stool. The night was winding down and the rest of the band started to pack up while everyone eased their way out of the club. Gray lightly strummed and hit his palm on the wood of the guitar sometimes.

 _No I don't think I love you no more,_

 _You never seem to call me lately,_

 _No I don't think I know you at all,_

 _And I never did, no,_

Gray sang lowly, his eyes closed as the spot light started to dim down. He finished up the song, he took off the guitar and saw Cana speaking on her cellphone, she glanced at Gray. She looked wide eyed, he eyeliner smudged underneath her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah he's off stage, you can talk to him now," Cana jogged quickly over to Gray and held out her phone, "Here, it's for you."

"Well who is it?"

"It's Natsu's older brother, he said something happened."

"Zeref? Shit," Gray handed Cana the guitar and held the phone to his ear, "Hey, what the hell happened to him?"

"Gray, you needed to hurry up and get to the hospital," Zeref said, panicked, "Natsu fucked himself up again."

"Again? Wait, what did he do?! What did he do?!"

"He went to a party and got some heroin. Some women called a noise complaint and the police found him unconscious," Zeref swallowed, "Gray he hit a vein and bled out. He was too doped up to do anything. They say he's... he's over-dosed."

"Oh Jesus," Gray covered his mouth, his hand shaking as his eyes welled up, "I'm walking out as we speak- Cana! I'm taking your phone!"

"The hell you will," Cana called and marched forward, "Why do you need it?"

"Natsu is going to the hospital, I'm staying on the phone with his brother."

"Shit, what did the kid do this time?"

"Heroin."

Cana clicked her tongue, "Kid doesn't know when to stop on that shit," Cana muttered, "When I first met him he got fucked up on that."

"Wait, he did it before this? With _you_ around?! What the hell?!"

"I didn't know him yet Gray, what else was I gonna do?"

"Kick his ass out! He doesn't need to be on that! At all!"

Cana stepped back, "Gray I thought he already told you this. When I saw him walk out he had a big track on his arm."

Gray parted his lips, "The scar… It was from a needle?"

Cana nodded.

Gray's heart was racing. He shook his head, "I don't care about that right now, I'll give you back your phone later. I'm leaving," Gray put on his jacket and started to storm out. He got out his keys, "Zeref, what hospital is he at?"

"Baptist, same one Juvia is at."

Gray nodded, his uneasy hands unlocked the car and he got in, "It'll take me about an hour to get there. If anything happens _call_ _me._ "

"Understood."

Gray turned on the car and started to pull out of the parking lot. His bass was packed up in his car already, and the static noise from his radio played _God Only Knows._

* * *

Traffic was different at two in the morning. It was quiet and bright. Streetlights were the only walkers and the rare headlights that passed by looked like the sun. Sounds came crashing down, wind increased the truck. The bugs that hit Gray's windshield sound like small bombs. Gray kept swallowing before he parked into the hospital parking lot. He got out and enter the hospital. It all looked familiar to him now since he would visit Juvia. Sometimes he would roam the building. He'd see people learning how to walk once again, children getting their last treatment of chemo, or wounds finally being held. But someday he would see women pushing IV's as they walked down the hall, or a mother kissing her daughter, whispering bible verses to her. Sometimes, days were hard.

Gray pulled out Cana's cellphone and redialed Zeref's number.

"Hello?" Zeref said.

"Hey,it's Gray. What ward is Natsu in?"

There was a brief pause, "Suicide watch." Zeref mumbled.

"Natsu didn't try to kill himself. Bleeding out was an accident."

"Doing seven grams of heroin in a row isn't an accident. At least that's what the doctors think. Just get here please, Natsu is starting to wake up now."

"Mmm."

Gray hung up and flipped the phone close. He went to the ward, subtly peeking his head in every open door. Hoping he wouldn't interrupt anything. He rubbed his forearm, uncomfortable and uneasy. He didn't want to be here under these circumstances.

"Gray," Zeref called, waving his hand. Gray started to jog over, "He's in here. He's still pretty out of it. He lost a good amount of blood so go easy on him."

"Y-yeah, yeah that's fine," Gray walked into the room, "I just want to see him. Alone, maybe?"

Zeref licked his lips and nodded, "Sure, I'm starving anyway."

"They have pretty good sherbert down there. You should try it out."

Zeref closed the door. Gray's mouth went dry. Natsu looked white, almost as noticed that he had lost some muscle since he had see Natsu. The bandages wrapped around his arm tightly. Like a snug hug with masking tape keeping the wrap held together. Natsu kept his head facing towards the wall, his lips were a pale rose pink and chapped. Gray sat down on the chair by the bed. Natsu sighed.

"Three hundred dollars… Three hundred dollars of heroin down the drain," Natsu muttered, "God this is so stupid. I shouldn't even be here…"

"Natsu, this isn't your fault."

"Oh, is it the needles' fault or my vein for being in the way? Or the fact my blood couldn't clot faster?"

Gray pinched his brow and shook his head. He put his elbows on his thighs, "Natsu I haven't seen you for weeks, what's been going on with you?"

Natsu hissed out a laugh and looked over at Gray, "I've been speaking with God, can't you tell?"

"God?" Gray muttered, "Natsu I don't think God has been talking to you."

"You were Catholic once, weren't you? Didn't you believe God spoke to you after you prayed?"

"Yes, but tha-"

"Well, once I do some drugs, I feel like God is speaking to me. Right next to my ear whispering to me," Natsu softly smirked, "He wants me to join his kingdom."

"Natsu, you can't be serious."

"Of course I'm not serious, that was all one big metaphor, dumbass," Natsu said and pushed back his bangs, "You know I don't believe in some sky daddy."

Gray bit his bottom lip, "Natsu… Do you want to die? Like actually die?"

Natsu looked up at the ceiling. He thought he saw butterflies in the light, "No. I just want to make some bad decisions."

"But you were doing so good Natsu, you were going to that college-"

"Don't talk about that fucking college," Natsu grumbled, "I want nothing to even do with that college. I only said yes to make everyone else happy."

"Oh my god, you're such a fucking baby," Gray groaned and put his head in his hands, "That college is the best chance you're gonna get in life, get over it. Stop milking this, either go or don't. It doesn't matter now but you can't keep hurting yourself like this."

"Who fucking said I couldn't?" Natsu snapped and started to sit up. He gripped his arm in pain, "I'll fucking tear out this IV now and walk out this door and score some more heroin if I want to."

"Shut up." Gray sighed

"No! This is how I feel pain!" Natsu pressed his finger in his chest, almost like he wanted to jam through the meat, "I deserve to deal with my pain like everyone else! Some cry, some drink, some write; I party my fucking brains out and do drugs."

"Not unless it hurts you!" Gray grabbed Natsu's face, his breathing heavy, his eyes as big as the moon, "Not unless it hurts you…" Gray whispered, "Because that hurts me too."

Natsu's bottom lip quivered. He kissed Gray out of instincted, then batted his hands away. He chewed his cheek and crossed his arms. Natsu retorted back to a child. A child coming down from a heroin binge. Gray closed his eyes.

"Why are you so worried about the school?" Gray asked.

Natsu shrugged and tucked greasy hair behind his ear, "Because it means leaving," Natsu murmured,"I'm used to being abandoned by others… Not me being the abandoner," Natsu pierced his eyes closed, "And that's my worse nightmare. Being the thing I hate."

"Natsu, no one thinks you're leaving. We think you're moving on. You're gonna still be here."

"But I don't feel like that. I don't feel the things everyone else feels. And that's not fair to me," Natsu breathed, tucking his knees to his chest, "It's never fair for me. I can't be like you, I can't feel like you."

Gray kissed Natsu's cheek, his eyelashes tickled Natsu. He kept his lips there, they slowly fell as his forehead pressed against the side of Natsu's face. His hand on the back on Natsu's neck.

"I love you… And since I've been with you I've felt things I never knew I could feel. That's the beauty of you… You make others feel things you wish you could feel. Right now you're making me feel thankful… Happy… Scared out of my damn mind, all of this."

Natsu rubbed under his nose, he scootched away from Gray slightly. He shook his head, "Gray, everyone looks at me like I'm a group project and they're just trying to get an A. If I do fucking rad in life, everyone is proud. But I'm not, and everyone is trying to make me work But I have too many kinks. I'm not good."

"Don't say that, baby." Gray whispered in Natsu's ear.

"But I do, and everyone want's to fix me. I don't need fixing, I need support."

"Natsu, it's hard to support someone who hurts themselves so much and doesn't ask for help."

Natsu puffed out his bottom lip. His head hung as his eyes closed, he wiped his face over again and again. His mind was swimming, gasping for air once again. Gray kept kissing his face and down to his neck. He rubbed Natsu's arms, being weary of the bandages. Natsu started to cry, Gray could taste the tears as he kissed his lips. Gray got on the bed, holding Natsu.

"Gray, I love you. But not enough to leave you… I'm not strong like you."

Their kisses became deeper. Natsu and him started to lay down on the bed. He pressed Natsu close to his chest, listening to the sobs. Gray stayed awake during the screams, the crying, random laughs, short phrases, and then the sound of light breathing.

Later, Natsu rolled over on his other hip, Gray played with his hair, making little curls with his finger and smoothing it out after. Zeref knocked on the door and opened it. He had a plastic cup of strawberry sherbert.

"Hey, got you something to eat," Zeref said, Gray started to move up, "How long has he been out for?"

"Maybe twenty minutes," Gray crossed his legs and took the cup, Zeref held out a spoon, "He's pretty bad huh?"

"Nah, He's just the effect from some cause. Just like all of us," Zeref put his hands in his pockets and sat down, "The cause is I come home late every night and the effect is my brother does drugs to cope with it," Zeref swallowed, he leaned over to stroke Natsu's hand, "It's just hard seeing this outcome again… I didn't think it could ever happen once. Now it's happened twice. What a great brother he has, right?"

"It's not your fault you didn't do anything, Gray muttered, "He just needs to learn to deal with pain in less destructive ways."

"That's what I thought drawing was for."

"Drawing _is_ pain for him, Zeref. I kinda figured that out. He draws because of what hurts him. It just makes his pain worse. But he loves it… He loves hurting himself."

Zeref sighed, "He needs help."

"Doesn't want it."

"But he _needs_ it."

Gray shook his head, "He needs all the love in the world Zeref. We all need to give it to him, not just from me," Gray looked at Zeref, "He's felt alone his whole life. Now he's feeling it again. And I know you don't want to hear that but you have to."

Zeref pinched his brow, "You know when Natsu was a baby he came out with a set of pink hair? Fuzziest baby the doctor had seen. Igneel told me he made the biggest fuse in the hospital, waking up all hours of the night. And at home, Jesus mom and dad couldn't get any sleep… He always wanted someone near him. He always needed someone there to hold him and hush him and tell him everything will be alright," Zeref teased his hair, "God I wish he was still that little crying baby who'd scream every night."

Gray chuckled, "He still is a crying baby."

Zeref laughed along with him. He looked at Zeref. He was just as scared as Gray was. He thought the whole thing was his fault, and maybe some spots were. But not all of it.

"Hey, I got my guitar in my truck, you think you could bring it up here? He always likes it when I play."

Zeref held out his hand, "Gimme the keys and I will."

Gray smiled and gave him the keys. Soon, Zeref came back up with the guitar. Natsu was still asleep, curled up in a small ball, almost like a fist. Zeref handed Gray the neck of the guitar, Gray put the strap over his shoulder. He tuned the strings, picking at them was trying to remember the lyrics he recently had written. He licked his lips and closed his eyes.

 _I believe in you and me_

 _I'm coming to find you_

 _If it takes me all night_

 _Wrong until you make it right_

 _And I won't forget you_

 _At least I'll try_

 _And run, and run tonight_

 _Everything will be alright_

 _Everything will be alright_

 _Everything will be alright_

 _Everything will be alright_

 _Everything will be alright_

 _Everything will be alright_

He sung in this fine hushed whisper. One that he wanted Natsu to only hear. His words came out slow, but it was steady. Like, rich, the weight of gold.

 _I wasn't shopping for a doll_

 _To say the least, I thought I've seen them all_

 _But then you took me by surprise_

 _I'm dreaming 'bout those dreamy eyes_

 _I never knew, I never knew_

 _So take your suitcase, 'cause I don't mind_

 _And baby doll, I meant it every time_

 _You don't need to compromise_

 _I'm dreaming 'bout those dreamy eyes_

 _I never knew, I never knew_

 _But it's alright_

Gray strummed the guitar one last time.

 _Everything will be alright…_

Gray bit his lip, Natsu looked peaceful. All the stress in his face had gone and leftover tears stained his face. Gray sighed, he neatened out Natsu's messy hair. How did this sweet boy ever become like this? Was it from a chemical imbalance? Or was it the trauma? Maybe there was no meaning of it, it was just one of those things that happened.

 _The universe does work in mysterious ways. This is the biggest fucking mystery of them all._

Zeref sat down in the chair, leaning in close to hear the murmur of lyrics. Zeref straightened up after Gray looked back at him.

"How did you ever think of lyrics like that?" Zeref asked.

Gray looked down at Natsu, "It's how I feel my pain…"

* * *

As the days progressed on, Natsu was irritable. From weaning off of the drug binge in his system, they kept feeding him gallons of orange juice and yogurt. It almost pissed him off to know he was gaining back the weight he pissed him off most was having to wait for either Gray or Lucy to sneak him in some cigarettes. He would finish a pack in a night, filling the room with a familiar scent. He couldn't sleep at night, he was only given Xanax in the morning. Natsu wished he could crush it up and snort it to have that same taste.

Natsu had a cigarette behind his ear and another one hanging out of his mouth. He looked at his hand and then back at Gray. Gray sat across from him on the bed, keeping his eyes on his card before glancing up and smiling at him with a cheeky grin. Natsu scoffed.

"You think you're lucky?" Natsu asked.

"Very."

Natsu exhaled smoke, "Then show them, let's see what you've got big man."

Gray smirked and folded out his cards on the bed, "Flush."

Natsu laughed and put down his cards, " _Royal_ flush, get fucked, Gray."

"What?!" Gray exclaimed, he pushed Natsu on his back, "You cheat, lemme see where you're stuffing those cards!"

Natsu couldn't stop giggling as Gray felt up his body. Natsu pushed up and pressed his lips against Gray's. Gray smiled, his hand rested on Natsu's stomach. Natsu's lips parted, with that Gray pressed in his tongue. Natsu tasted of fruit juice and ash. Gray bit Natsu's bottom lip. Natsu pulled back.

"You want a little late night blow job?" Natsu asked.

Gray nodded, leaning down to kiss Natsu's sensitive neck, "As long as I get to touch you, baby."

Natsu shifted his body and moved to sit on Gray's lap. Natsu wore spotted pajama pants and a white shirt, stiff from lack of use. He loved the fabric of Gray's clothes. They were normal, they felt worn in his hands, Gray started to lift up Natsu's shirt, his hand running up Natsu's back as he kissed his collar.

"I love you so much, baby." Gray whispered, licking his jawline.

Natsu shivered, "I love you too, Gray."

Gray took off Natsu's shirt, he started to lay down on the hospital bed. Cards scattered all over the mess of sheets. Gray held Natsu's ass, kissing down his collar, Natsu tipped back his head. Natsu gripped the bars on the end of the bed. Gray pressed up his hips, circling his tongue down to Natsu's nipple. He started to suck as Natsu grind down, moaning quietly. His mouth felt dry. Gray kissed the center of Natsu's chest over to where his heart was before kissing his lips.

Natsu put his hand down to Gray's crotch, putting his hand down Gray's jeans and rubbing the outside. He could already feel how hard Gray was getting. He felt the heat from his cock and how groggy Gray was feeling down there. Natsu moved down on his knees and undid the rest of Gray's pants. He pulled down his underwear and wrapped his mouth against the head. His tongue tangled around the bar, drips of saliva slid down the shaft. Natsu lapped it up before bobbing his head down. Gray closed his eyes and clenched his teeth.

Gray missed this. Not the blowjobs, but just Natsu's mouth. His lips, his tongue, everything about Natsu's mouth he missed. It made him think everything was back to normal. Natsu bobbed his head faster and deeper. Massaging his balls as his moans were muffled. The vibrations going into the flesh. Gray grabbed his hair and slapped his ass. Natsu flinched and quickened his pace, widening his mouth and flattening his tongue. Gray lt his hand fall to Natsu's bandaged arm, he traced the white creases and felt the tape. He licked his lips and tipped back his head. Gray groaned as he tightened his grip as he came. Natsu blushed and started to swallow, pulling up and wiping his mouth.

"Well that was quick," Natsu said, sitting up on his knees, "I thought you would have taken more time."

"I think it's just the fact that I'm afraid we'll scar some innocent nurse."

Natsu pecked Gray's lips and pinched his cheek, "It's alright, babe. You're still good as always."

Gray chuckled and pulled up his pants.

"You wanna play another game?" Gray asked.

Natsu shook his head and scratched the bandages, "Nah, I'm kinda tired. Lucy brought over a shit ton of homework for me to do. I should get started on it."

"Have you been thinking about school lately?"

Natsu sighed, "This is just going to segway into a conversation about the college so I'll just answer it now: Yes. I have."

Natsu started to get tensed and packed the cards back together, putting them back in the box. Gray scooted over, "You want to talk about it?"

"No, not at all actually. I'd rather do my homework."

"You want some help? I can help you if you have any math homework."

"No."

Natsu got out the sheets of paper Lucy dropped off and got a pen a doctor left once. He started to scan the listed phrases. Gray sighed, everything was going great for once. Then it went sour once again. It was like walking on eggshells around reached over to his guitar. He started leaving it at the hospital since he practiced so often. Gray tuned his guitar and sighed. Gray crossed his legs, Natsu didn't lift up his head.

 _She don't wanna be saved_

 _Don't save her._

 _She don't wanna be saved don't save her,_

The lyrics came off the top of Gray's head, the words lingered out as his fingers lazily picked the guitar strings

 _She don't wanna be saved_

 _Don't save her._

Gray just kept repeating these two phrases to the same two cords. Yet it was something magical. Natsu bit the cap of the pen. He closed his eyes and groaned.

"What do you want to know about the college?" Natsu asked.

Gray lifted up his head. He moved the guitar over, "Are you still gonna go to the interview?"

"Well, I'm not wasting a plane ticket just because I fucked myself over."

"What happens if you get in?"

Natsu put his pen down and teased his hair, "Look, I can't tell the fucking future. I don't know what I'm gonna do if that happens. Maybe I'll go maybe I won't and it'll be a waste of my time."

"Natsu don't say that, this would be awesome if you got in. You've heard this a million times and you'll hear it a million more. This. Is. Good. For. You."

"Well it doesn't feel good to me. Learn that for the millionth time. You can't push me. It's either I figure out it's good for me or I don't. End of story."

Gray shook his head and pushed back his bangs, "I don't understand you some days."

"I wasn't never meant to be understood. I was meant to be me."

"And I was meant to be me."

Natsu rubbed his face, "You were meant to be an idiot." Natsu groaned.

Gray smiled, his fingers locked with Natsu, "I was meant to be an idiot in love with you," Gray kissed Natsu's cheek, "Will you please just try? All I'm asking for you to do is try..."

Natsu sighed and collapsed in Gray's arms, "Trying is going to kill me..."

"Then you'll go out a champion..." Gray hushed, rubbing his back. Cradling him.

"Do you think I should be in the suicide ward?"

Gray kissed the top of his head, Natsu's fine hair tickling his nose, "I think you are a force that scares people. You even scare yourself. Do I think you want to die? No. Do I think you'll easily do stupid shit on accident? Hell yes."

"What a shitty answer.

"I didn't say it was gonna be a good one."

Natsu ran his hand on Gray's chest, "Do you think I'll be fixed up before the trip?"

"You don't need fixing, you need support."

"I mean like my arm, not my head."

Gray held Natsu's forearm and kissed the bandages, "Your arm is just as beautiful as your mind. It'll be just fine."

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, favorite, and follow. Helps me out a lot. See you next update._


	21. We'll be Okay

**Hey guys! New chapter, woooooh! So this is going to be the second to last chapter I've decided. I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy**

* * *

Natsu was a mess. One that couldn't be cleaned up. He was lying in his own filth. Waiting. Waiting. Just waiting for his day. Gray is lying with him, sticky and wreeking of the stench Natsu has been in because Gray has been staying so close to him lately. His fingerprints imprinted on Natsu's shoulders, lips stain Gray's body like lipstick marks. Gray has gotten used to the smell now, he had to if he wanted to care for Natsu and show him enough love to keep him away from the outside. Natsu stayed at Gray's house for now, he told Zeref it would be better, he needed the company. While he was lying in Gray's bed one night, he wondered if Zeref was alone. Was he getting used to the quietness the darkness held? Could he get used to the static noise dead air held? Natsu did feel bad for Zeref, but this was only temporarily. After the interview he would be back home. Home to his tapes and papers and pain and pills.

Gray stroked Natsu's hair slowly, seeing if he could count every last strand that wrapped around his finger. But he kept losing track and decided to stop. They lay in bed naked, warm with Natsu's skin baking under the blanket. Natsu's cheek rested on Gray's chest, listening to the beats of his steady heart. It sounded like sloshing eyes were closed and Natsu would occasionally kiss his chest. To heal the pain he had cause weeks earlier. To make up for what he put Gray through during his detox, through his mood swings, everything. Natsu had tore Gray up on the inside. Gray didn't let it show, but Natsu could see he was hurt. Knowing your boyfriend picked drugs over picking up the phone to call you, was a pretty swift blow. But Gray hid it through smart remarks and smiles.

Natsu's arm was still bandaged. Natsu was sure that was where the stench came from. But no one could smell it so Natsu was never able to explain it. Under the wrap was a dark red and purple bruise. A small puncture wound in the center of the marked skin. Just below the other scar. _Battle wounds._ Natsu smirked at the thought. _A battle within himself._ How stupid. That's what everyone at the hospital said that happened to him and why he did such a thing. Because he was in a war, one looming inside of him and all the soldiers were clones of his himself. There were bombs made of stomach acid and bullets made of heroin. Natsu was also the battlefield. Getting hurt throughout the roughage.

"You sleepy, baby?" Gray whispered, kissing his ear.

Natsu shook his head and nestled closer to him, "No, I'm still awake…"

Gray kissed his cheek and down to his neck, "Your trip is in two days," Gray muttered, "You still okay?"

Natsu sat up and groaned. He sat up on Gray's hips, "When have I ever been okay?" Natsu sighed and kissed Gray, "Let's not talk about the trip."

"But-"

"Nuh-uh"

Gray kept his hands at Natsu's lower back. This was always Natsu's new scapegoat from talking about the trip. Just jump to sex and no one would talk about it. Gray was getting sick of it. Of the not talking part, not the sex. He would always kiss Natsu back still. Every time to show his interest. Natsu licked Gray's bottom lip and bit down gently. Gray smiled, grabbing Natsu's ass.

"You wanna go again already?" Gray asked

Natsu nodded, "Mmmhmm," Natsu hummed, "You were so gentle last time. Maybe we can go a little rougher, huh babe? I know you like to be rough with me."

This was how Natsu didn't have to talk about his problems now. He started to sound sexier in bed to get Gray going so he would _stay_ going. Talk to him dirty, that would do it. Lower his voice more, that would drive Gray crazy would t it? Grind his hips on his and wiggle his ass like he wanted it, Gray would have him wouldn't he?

Gray sat up and nipped Natsu's neck.

"You want it harder, baby?" Gray asked, slapping Natsu's ass, "I can do that for you."

Natsu giggled and bit his lip.

Gray pushed Natsu on his back, moving between his legs and lifting them up. He pressed his lips against Natsu's harshly. Natsu closed his eyes and softly moaned. His lips parted as Gray slid his hands down Natsu's legs. Natsu ran his fingers in Gray's hair as Gray moved to the nape of his neck and bit down. He started to suck and chew while his hips rocked against Natsu's ass. Natsu shivered, tipping back his head. He was still somewhat sore from earlier. Sometimes his little runaround didn't work. See, he pretended like he wanted it now when he could have waited a few hours. But in those hours Gray would have wanted to talk about the trip, something he hasn't let Gray talk about at all.

So Natsu sucked it up as let the tenderness of his entrance and crotch be swollen up. Gray could see the stress in Natsu's face. He licked Natsu's throat to his chin. Gray started to moved down and pick up Natsu's legs. He kissed his inner thighs, leaving small marks on his skin. Gray teasingly licked the tip before moving to Natsu's entrance. His tongue flicked over the hole and circled. Natsu put his hand hovering at his mouth, his breathing hitched. Gray's hands gripped his legs tightly as his tongue licked and tease. Natsu whined, he shuttered, his cock had no attention and that's how Gray wanted it. Natsu grabbed Gray's hair, latching on tightly.

Gray pulled back and licked his lips.

"On your knees, baby," Gray said, starting to sit up, leaning over for lube, "You're already so hard for me."

Natsu blushed softly, moving on his legs and turning around. Gray kept giving Natsu's ass nice slaps and squeezes. Natsu's hips would always jerk slightly from each grab or hit. Gray poured the lube in his hands as he started to stroke his cock. Natsu curled his toes and ducked his head down as Gray pressed in.

"Nuh-uh," Gray yanked Natsu's hair and picked his head up. Causing Natsu to grunt, "Keep your head up and your back straight for me."

 _For me._ That was Gray's favorite phrase to say when he was like this. Like Natsu was all _for him._ Not anyone else could make Natsu do this. It was all _for Gray._ Natsu nodded, anything for Gray so he would keep his mouth shut. Gray leaned back, keeping a clump of Natsu's hair in his fist. He started to thrust deep and slow to warm Natsu up. Natsu closed his eyes as he neck arched back, panting softly with small whimpers. Gray started to pull Natsu's hips back with the thrusts, picking up speed. Natsu started to moan, gripping the sheets. He lowered his head and bridged up his back. Gray pushed Natsu's head against the bed, Gray his Natsu's high ass, earning a small squeak.

"I said keep your head up and back straight," Gray gritted, moving harder and deeper, "Now you get to keep your head down."

Natsu whined, "Yes, okay, okay, I'm sorry."

Gray leaned over and kissed Natsu's back, trusting in deeper. The piercing hitting Natsu's sensitive prostate. Natsu gasped and moaned loud, tightening around Gray's cock. Gray groaned, squeezing Natsu's ass and moving to his ear.

"I'm gonna come." Gray mumbled.

"Me too babe, come soon. Please come." Natsu moaned.

"Oh you want me to come inside you? Is that it?" Gray smirked.

Natsu caught his breath, his eyes rolled back, "Yes, fuck yes come inside me."

Gray breathed out, he started to play with Natsu's nipples. Pulling on the silver bar bead and receiving whines.

"What has gotten into you lately?" Gray whispered.

"Can't…. Can't say."

"Is it you _can't_ or you _won't_?"

"Maybe both," Natsu paused briefly to moan, "Maybe it's fear."

"Fear of what?"

"Fear of feeling regret."

Natsu lifted up his head and came. His body spasming as Gray thrusted a few more times before coming inside. He rolled Natsu on his back, pinning his wrists by his head. He panted hard, hovering above Natsu.

"No more messing around. I know what you're playing at now," Gray said, "You never want to talk about the trip. It's so close and you never want to talk to me about it."

Natsu groaned, "What's there to talk about? It's just a trip, I'll be gone on a week fucking trip in California away from all of you. And maybe I might stay there."

"That's the fear part isn't it?" Gray mumbled, "That's always been the fear part. You're still scared of leaving when you shouldn't be. We'll all still be here for you, Natsu. You aren't leaving us."

Natsu clicked his tongue and turned his head, "Shut up."

"No, I won't shut up," Gray's grip got tighter. There was no way Natsu could distract him now, "You don't think I'm scared?! I'm frightened as hell, not because you're leaving but because of what you'll do up there without me. But I'm letting go and you can't accept that. You don't understand that I don't want you to go, I know you should go. That scares me. The moment I got the scholarship here, I fucking took it. Wanna know why?"

"Don't fucking compare me to you."

"I took it because I wanted to make something out of myself and thing was my chance. The universe was saying 'Hey, you've gone through a lot of shit in your life, it's time to take a chance for once,' and I did. I got a job, an apartment…. And I found you. I was given you," Gray licked his lips and nuzzled his head in the crook of Natsu's neck, "Now i'm willing to let you go for the universe to give you your chance. Please, Natsu. Talk to me."

Natsu swallowed. He shook with cold anticipation. The feelings he had kept in his rib cage and under his heart. He didn't want to talk about it, but he couldn't keep it balled up inside. Natsu closed his eyes.

"I'm petrified, Gray," Natsu breathed, "I'm scared out of my mind. I keep wondering if I'm stable enough for this. Will I have enough Xanax. Is this a waste of my time because they won't let no goddamn junkie in their school. What am I going to do to fuck this up and come home as a failure, Gray? I can't do that, I'll spiral, I'll fucking spiral."

"Don't you talk like that," Gray held Natsu's cheeks, "You're thinking too negative. Think of the better worries. Like how am I going to tell Zeref I got accepted. How am I going to feel about my new roommate. What am I going to wear the next time Gray visits me. That, that's what you should worry about."

Natsu bit his lip. His eyebrows scrunched together, "But the bad outweighs the good… It always outweighs the good," Natsu buried his face in his hands, "I'm sorry, Gray. I'm sorry I can't think that way, Dammit! Why am I like this?!"

"Because you've had to grow up by yourself," Gray said, "You've had to learn to love everyone else who came into your life before yourself. You're too afraid of yourself screwing everything up before you think about succeeding. That's your problem. You've never known how much everyone loves you and thinks you're amazing. This is all new to you and it scares you to death. You don't think you deserve it."

Natsu's jaw trembled as he started to cry. He sniffled and wrapped his arms around Gray. Sobbing in his shoulder while Gray squeezed him back. He did deserve love, lots of love. But Gray's love came on thick and heavy, it always had. Natsu really never noticed love from anyone so strong. A bond so strong that he thought could snap but never would. Natsu felt tears fall on his back. Gray had started to cry as well.

"You need every ounce of love, Natsu. And I'm trying my hardest to give what you deserve."

Natsu's nails dug in Gray's back, "I know that… I know you have. And I'm just draining you dry of it…" Natsu pulled away, he wiped Gray's eyes, "Maybe we need sometime. Sometime to refuel… For me to work on myself."

Gray swallowed and sniffled. He didn't want to understand but he did and he nodded. He rubbed his eyes one last time and started to sit up.

"Yeah… Yeah maybe… That's what the trip is for, think of it like that… A place where you can patch yourself up. And I'll still be there for you, whenever you need me I'll be there."

Natsu sadly smiled, "Yeah, and we'll still talk even if I get into the school," Natsu kissed Gray's cheek, "No matter what, I will love you Gray Fullbuster… Till the day I die and the universe takes me."

Gray grinned and kissed Natsu deeply, "Maybe we'll go to the universe together. How fucking cool would that be?"

"Or depressing."

"No, not depressing. I plan on seeing you when you have white hair and saggy skin. I want to be old with you when we see each other in the universe."

Natsu cuddled into Gray chest and closed his eyes, "Now that is a lovely thought."

"We're still _together_ right?" Gray asked.

"We'll always be together. Until the day we both say we're not. We just need _space._ "

"Like, out of this world. Yeah?"

"Yes, baby. Out of this world."

* * *

Natsu started to pack his bags. A day before the trip and already he was suffering from airplane sickness. The shear thought up being up in the air thousands of feet above ground, that was enough to make himself sick. He stuffed in duffel bags and messenger bags clothes and cassette tapes. A few art supplies such as colored pencils and paper went into his bags. He kept scratching at his bandage. He felt like a dog with one of those comes around his head so he wouldn't pick at the wound. Gray lingered around the house. He himself was going to go on a trip after Natsu was shipped out. One for hockey and another one for the band. Gray had a hockey tournament in Kentucky and right after that the band would play at a bookstore.

Gray put his bass in its case and sighed. He walked over and wrapped his arms around Natsu. His head buried in his neck, kissing slowly. Natsu smiled small and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You almost packed up?" Natsu asked.

Gray nodded, "I just have a few things here and there I'll pack up tomorrow," Gray muttered, "You almost done?"

Natsu swallowed and folded up a hoodie, "Almost. I feel sick to my stomach."

"What's wrong with your stomach, baby?"

Gray put his hand on Natsu's stomach. Like he was seeing if a little person was going to kick inside but he never felt it. He felt the anxiety.

"Anxious I guess. I don't know if I'm ready yet," Natsu sighed and turned around, "Hey, let's have some fun tonight, huh? Just me and you. We can have a few drinks, eat some food. One last night before we both go."

Gray smiled, Natsu's arms wrapped around his neck as his own hands fell to Natsu's hips. He kissed Natsu.

"Okay, yeah, we can go out. Let's have a few beers."

Natsu pulled back and zipped up his bag. He threw on a jacket and they both put on their shoes.

"There's a club not too far. Maybe ten miles down the road we can go to." Natsu said.

"Alright. You'll be my co-pilot."

Gray grabbed his keys and Natsu grabbed his hand while they walked through the living room. Lyon was sitting on the couch watching _Pretty Women_.

"Hey, here are you two going?" Lyon asked.

"Just out for awhile," Gray replied, "We're gonna have a few drinks."

"Don't come back too late now. We have to get up by ten tomorrow. Bus leaves tomorrow at noon."

"I know, I know. Coach will have my ass if I'm late. See yea, Lyon."

"Bye. Bye, Natsu."

"Peace." Natsu called before closing the door.

It took about thirty minutes to get to the club and about twenty minutes for the boys to have two drinks. They sat at the bar area. Occasionally coming down to dance for a few minutes. They didn't grind on each other like usual. Or wrap their legs around another. They just let their arms hang around each other's neck. Swaying slowly while others jostled around them. Gray kept kissing the top of his ear while Natsu nuzzled against Gray's shoulder. Inhaling the scent, he smelled new. Not dirty, but of the pine forest scent he fell in love with was returning. He wondered if he still stunk.

After a few drinks on an empty stomach, they were ready for something to eat. They didn't notice they left the club at one in the morning. Gray was moderately buzzed but since Natsu weighed less and hadn't eaten in a while, he was more on the side of being drunk. Gray was still good to drive, but Natsu kept his arms tight around Gray's forearm.

"Jesus, I'm fucking starving!" Natsu exclaimed, "Let's stop somewhere for a bite, pleeeeeeease?"

Gray chuckled, "Okay hot- head, where do you want to eat?"

"The next food place we see that's where we're going."

"You better pray it's not some five star restaurant. All we're having there is bread and water."

"I don't care, I just need carbs in my body."

A bright yellow sign came up. Hope rose in Natsu's stomach and a wide grinned appeared on his face.

"Waffle House!" Natsu yelled, laughing and shaking Gray's arm.

"Okay, okay, calm down you're gonna make me crash."

Natsu smiled and kept giggling, pretty much hopping in his seat. Gray rolled his eyes and turned into the parking lot. Beside the _Waffle House_ was a small tattoo shop. The outside decorated in neon lights and bright paint that said _The Lion's Den_. Beside that was a nurse shop that sold scrubs. Natsu opened the door and got out, Gray followed behind and grabbed Natsu's hand. Only a few cars were in the lot. That's what the boys expected at a _Waffle House_ at one in the morning. It was almost a cliche that people who had been drinking to stop by a _Waffle House._ Natsu dragged Gray along inside, the door jingled as they walked in. A small girl with short blue hair smiled over at them. Her name tag said Levy on it.

"Hi, how are you two doing tonight?" Levy asked, starting a pot of coffee, "Coffee? Brewing already, it's easier for me."

"Please, and fine how are you?" Gray asked while Natsu slid down and picked a booth.

Levy came over and dropped two menus, "Sleepy, but thanks for asking. You guys need a minute?"

"Just a few, thanks."

Natsu was already reading the menu when Levy walked away. His eyes looked like they were traveling at a million miles and hour.

"I think I want some eggs, bacon- oh shit I gotta get some cheesy hash browns- and maybe a chocolate chip waffle or two."

"Christ, that's a lot of food don't yea think?" Gray asked, chuckling.

"But I'm starving, Gray. Literally my stomach is eating itself. It's crying for cheesy hash browns." Natsu said, dramatically.

Gray leaned over and pecked Natsu on the nose, "Alright baby, we'll get you some hash browns."

Natsu kissed Gray's lips, " _Cheesy_ hash browns."

Levy came back with mugs and a pot of coffee. She poured them a fresh cup before pulling out her small notebooks and clicking her pen.

"Ready?"

"Mmmhmm, can I have two eggs over easy, bacon, two chocolate chip waffles and cheesy hash browns."

"You want toast and jam with that?"

"Fuck yeah."

"Natsu, watch your mouth around the young lady."

Levy giggled, "My fiance curses like a sailor. He's fine."

"Strawberry please." Natsu said.

"Sure thing,hun. And for you?"

"I'll just have a philly cheese steak. No onions, please."

"Can do, I'll put that in for you guys."

Levy winked as she took the menus. He shouted out their order which cried out in the whole restaurant. It was empty except for the two of them while some _Johnny Cash_ quietly played. Natsu played with Gray's fingers while Gray sipped his coffee. Glancing out the window while he played footsie underneath the table. They felt like little children. Constantly playing games with each other and giggling up a storm over stupid small things. But they guessed that's what they needed. They needed these games as a distraction from their separate trips. Natsu hummed.

"I like nights like this," Natsu muttered, "When it's late and it's just me and you… That'll be one of the things I'll miss of I actually get into the school. No more diners late at night."

"No, we'll have late nights again, all the time I'll see you, remember?"

Natsu smiled and held Gray's hand, "Yeah, I remember you will."

"Good boy," Gray smiled and leaned back in the booth, "You can't be so scared that I won't be there for you, Natsu."

"Yeah, I know… But it's just always in the back of my mind. I guess I just gotta see it to believe it," Natsu sighed, "You know Zeref is gonna set me up with a bank account? And he told me some good ways to get a job? I feel like I'm growing up in just one week. It's weird."

"At least you have someone who's already a grown up teaching you this stuff," Gray laughed on the rim of his coffee cup, "When I tried making a bank account I walked into the bank with a wad of cash and asked them to put it in for me. You don't even know how hard it was to actually rent an apartment."

Natsu hummed, "Seemed like you had to become a grown up alone…"

"Well yeah, I didn't keep the friends I made at the shelter. And the foster homes I got shuffled into after Ur didn't work out. So Lyon and I had to learn ourselves. We had to grow up alone or else we wouldn't have grown up at all."

Natsu licked his lips and squeezed Gray's hand, "I guess Zeref has always been there for me in a way then… I never thought about it before."

"Sometimes we take shit for granted."

"Sometimes shit _is_ what we're granted."

There was a brief pause and a small glance before the both of them blurted out in laughter. Laughter that masked sadness brought up from the pit of their stomachs, but somehow awkwardly erupted out of their lungs; laughter. Natsu sighed and laid his cheek on his hand. Gray's thumb skid across Natsu's skin.

"I'm gonna miss the hell outta you." Natsu muttered

"You know whatever happens, I'll be with you no matter what." Gray whispered.

"And why's that?"

"Because I'm in love with you."

Natsu smiled. Levy came out with a tray or plates. She sat down the food with a warm grin, she pressed the tray to her tiny breasts and looked at the boys.

"Everything look good? Need anything else?" Levy asked.

"No, no, I think we're fine, thank you." Gray said with a nod.

Levy walked away and Natsu started to pour syrup over his waffles. He snacked on bacon while he cut his waffles.

"God this is so good," Natsu moaned, "I've never been so happy in my life."

Gray laughed. He was going to miss that about Natsu. How his love for food showed in choking down and swallowing chunks. Gray always feared one day he would choke, but he always downed it with some kind of drink. Natsu was a pro binger but a horrible purger, and that was something Natsu was amazing at. Gray liked seeing Natsu eat so much, because it meant he was taking care of himself. Eating more than enough.

They both started to eat, exchanging giggles and small chat. Feet still moving beneath the table, tips of shoes moving up shins. They were spending time together at two in the morning, the time when only lovers and artists were up. And sometimes both. Levy kept glancing at the boys, sighing softly, maybe waiting for her own love, she kept looking at the door like he would come in any minute now. The bells rang and Levy shot up, she ran out from behind the counter to the man that walked in. He was tall, long black hair tied back wearing a vest and jeans, he had many facial piercings, he caught Levy in his arms and spun her.

"Gajeel! Finally!" Levy called.

"Hey, baby girl," Gajeel said and sat her down, "I missed you.

"I was just next door," Levy laughed, "Are you off yet or just visiting?"

"Visitin'. Boss hasn't let me go yet," Gajeel kissed Levy's cheek and moved to her ear, " Wanna give my a quick blow job in the bathroom?"

Levy blushed brightly, "Gajeel!"

"Come on, just like last time, little girl."

" There's people in here!" She pinched his cheek.

Gajeel snickered and picked her up again. They kissed. Natsu could tell that was _his_ thing, picking up her small body and just holding her in his big arms. Like how Gray's thing was playing the guitar from Natsu at night. Or kissing his face all over. Or slapping his ass during sex. He never noticed every couple had their own _thing_. Maybe he had his own _thing._ Like taking Gray's clothes. Or maybe dancing close to Gray at clubs. Natsu wasn't sure, he swallowed a chunk of waffle.

"They seem cute." Natsu said

Gray nodded, "Adorable." Gray muttered, chewing his food.

"She's so itty bitty," Natsu laughed, "He's such a big guy. What do you think their sex life is like?"

"Kinky."

"How kinky?"

"Like BDSM shit I bet. With a guy like that he's probably into it. She probably gets destroyed."

"You serious?"

"No, I'm not fucking serious. I don't think about other people's sex life, perv."

"Uh, hey!" Natsu shouted," I'm not a perv!"

Levy and Gajeel looked over at the boys. Natsu shrugged up his shoulders and blushed. He ran his fingers back in his hair while Gray just smirked.

"When do you have to go back to work?" Levy asked.

"I got ten minutes. Drunks usually come by the shop by this time lookin' for a tattoo. You know how it is. I'm so bored though, I wish they'd come in sooner."

"They'll be coming in soon."

"Um, hey, I don't mean to interrupt but I have a question?" Natsu asked, slowly standing up.

"Oh, you need some more napkins or something?" Levy asked.

"No, no, it's more for your boyfriend. Gajeel, yeah?"

"Yeah, watcha need?"

"You work at that tattoo shop next door?"

Gajeel nodded, "Yeah, what of it? Thinkin' about gettin' a tattoo?"

"Well, maybe, if I can see your work."

"Oh yeah, Levy, pull up your shirt, let 'em see my work."

"Oh God, Gajeel. Can't you take them to the shop or something?" Levy whined.

"I gotta show them my best work," Gajeel smiled, "Besides, they're fags anyway."

"That is true, girls are not our thing. Don't be embarrassed."

"Yeah, we're straight up gays." Gray called, holding up his cup, "Can I get some more coffee too, dear?"

Levy sighed and untucked her shirt out of her pants. She unbuttoned a few buttons and showed off her tattoo. It was a book opened with a rainbow of colors and text pouring out on the side of her stomach to her hip.

"Ten hours in the chair for each session." Levi said and covered herself up.

"And she was a trooper, my little girl was," Gajeel kissed her cheek, "What do you think?"

"It's nice work, really good," Natsu flagged over Gray while Levy filled his cup, "Gray, take off your shirt."

"For?" Gray asked.

"Just do it for me."

Gray shrugged and took off his shirt with ease, taking a sip from his cup. Natsu pointed at his tattoo.

"How much would it be to do this? Same size but a different color."

Gajeel hummed, "For you I can probably do it for fifty bucks. Won't take long. But you're not old enough are yea? See me again in two years pal."

Natsu took out his wallet and showed him his fake ID. Gajeel nodded, "When you want it done?"

"Now. Right now."

"Excuse me?" Gray questioned.

"Well, you wait till I'm off my break and I can do it for yea." Gajeel said, lighting a cigarette, "I'll give you a damn fine tattoo."

"Hey, you said you'd quit smoking." Levi scowled.

Gray grabbed Natsu's forearm, pulling him to the side.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Gray whispered, jerking his arm.

"I'm thinking about getting a tattoo like yours. Duh."

"Just out of nowhere? What's Zeref gonna say about this?"

Natsu shrugged, "Why would he care? It's my body not his."

"When you ODed that was your body and I hope you're glad he cared."

Natsu rolled his eyes "It's just a way that I'll be reminded of you when I go," Natsu put his hand on Gray's peck, "I'll have a little piece that will make me always think of you."

Gray released his grip and sighed, "You got the money on you?"

Natsu nodded.

"Think you can endure the pain?"

Natsu nodded.

"Then go for it."

Natsu smiled and kissed Gray, "Hey, at least I'm not getting your name- hey, Gajeel, I'll wait for you!"

"Gotcha, loud mouth. Meet me next door in ten."

* * *

The smell of ink and blood trailed on Natsu's skin. He decided his shoulder would be the least painful, but Gajeel told him wherever he would pick would hurt. Natsu had bitten his lip to death, and his hand staying in a fist the whole time. Gajeel kept a cig hanging out of his mouth while he worked. Gray stayed at _Waffle House_ with Levy, sipping coffee and chatting. Levy stood behind the counter on a small stool while Gray stayed at the bar top.

"So that tattoo place, that's where you met Gajeel?" Gray asked.

Levy hummed on the rim of her coffee cup and nodded, "Yeah, when I was waiting for them to give me an application here, I went to the shop to waste some time and Gajeel wouldn't let me go until he made me at least look tattoo's. Then somehow he just talked me into actually getting one. That's when he asked me out right afterwards," She laughed and twirled her finger in her hair, "I was crying like a baby."

"Love at a tattoo shop."

"Well you met Natsu at a coffee shop, yeah? You found love in a coffee shop."

"Mine is a little more cliche than yours, doll."

Levy giggled, "Are you sure you're gay? You're rather charming to women."

Gray shrugged, "I always just went after what I wanted. So I just was what I needed to be. So far it's just been gay. Sometimes I've been with women. Nothing more than a stand or a one month girlfriend."

"Weird how some people work. Usually I would never be with a guy like Gajeel. I mean, he's huge and intimidating, and tough," Levy smiled, "But once I cracked him I found out he's funny, kind, and loving… He's really sweet."

Gray swished his coffee around in the cup. He sighed gently, "Yeah, I guess that's like a lot of people."

Levy nodded, Gray sighed, "So how many weeks along are you?" Gray asked.

"Five. Five weeks," Levy smiled and rubbed the back of her neck, "I'm hoping for a baby girl."

Gray smiled, "She'd look a lot like you. Beautiful."

Levy giggled, "Don't let Gajeel catch you saying that."

"I think about that a lot. How babies would look. I think if me and Natsu could somehow have a kid it would look like me and act like Natsu."

"He'd be a hungry baby if he acted like Natsu."

After an hour, Gray came into the shop. It smelt like a doctor's office with _Wild Thang_ playing over the speakers. There was art filling the walls with pin up girls and uncreative tribal tattoos. A girl chewing bubble gum with white skin sat in a rolly chair behind a jewelry counter. She didn't say anything to Gray. Gray just walked over and tried to find Natsu. He heard the buzz of a needle and followed it into a white room.

Natsu was sweating, his head low while he licked his lips. Gajeel was wiping away blood while he colored in a new kind of red. He was almost finished with coloring in the tip of the tattoo.

"Hey, I'll only be a second longer." Gajeel informed.

"Oh thank you sweet baby Jesus." Natsu breathed.

"God, you're such a little pansy."

"Fuck you, dude."

"Watch it, I'm the one here with a needle, kid." Gajeel warned.

Gray snickered, he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms.

"How's it feel?" Gray asked.

"Like a fucking bitch, how do you think?" Natsu spat.

Gray smiled and shook his head, "You said you could handle the pain."

"I can. I just don't want to."

With a final wipe, Gajeel was done. He pushed back from his rolly chair, "Alright, we're all done. Check it out."

Natsu walked over to the full length mirror. He lifted up his sleeve more and looked at the tattoo. His eyes looked light and airy.

"It looks just like yours…." Natsu trailed, "It's awesome."

Gray leaned down and kissed the fresh ink. Natsu seethed but let him do it. Gray turned up and kissed Natsu deeply.

"Alright lover boys, let me patch 'em up before you go making out in the shop. I can get sued if you get an infection." Gajeel said.

Natsu smiled, their noses pressed against each others. The two inhaled each other. They smelled pure, like nothing. Like air. They looked in each other's eyes.

"We're gonna be fine." Gray mumbled and kissed him again.

Natsu closed his eyes, "I know… I know."

* * *

 _So I hope you enjoyed. Review, favorite and follow if you did. Helps me out a lot. See you next update_


	22. Last Mix Tape

**So this is the end. I do not own Fairy Tail or the characters used. Enjoy.**

* * *

Natsu's eyes fluttered closed, Gray's lips lingering up and down his neck. The grease from his sandwich earlier stuck to his skin. His lips swollen already from kissing Natsu earlier. Gray laid him on the bed, already lifting up Natsu's shirt carefully, trying not to skim the cloth over Natsu's patch on his shoulder. Natsu tightly gripped Gray's hair as he brought him up to kiss Gray again. Deeply, their tongues switching in their mouths. Natsu bit Gray's lip.

"I love you…" Natsu breathed.

"I love you too, Natsu."

Their words hung in the air, landing on their breath and inhaling like a fire. The touched each other like it would be their last time. The warmth passing on their skin, being taken to a place to be described as the land of milk and honey like in the Bible. They bathed in the soothing milk in each other's arms and melted in the oozing honey which was their lips. Heaven was within one another, love was trapped inside and launching out.

They made love all night. Right after another they regained their energy and would reuse all of it. The love never faded in their hips. It stayed at the same pace, their sounds, loud. Loud enough for the world to hear them and how much they longed for each other. It flooded out the window, the heat, the noise, everything filled the streets. They didn't care how tired they felt, or how they were losing their breaths, they were in love and proving it. They fell asleep early in the morning. Gray spooned him and held Natsu's hand close to his chest. Feeling his heartbeat.

 _One beat… Two beat… Three beat…_

Gray dreamed that Natsu's heart was a drum, and he was playing it. When the beats were lighter he hit the little drums, when they were lower, the bottom big drum. He made music with Natsu's arteries, strummed on his muscles, and sung on his vocal cords. Like Gray lived inside Natsu's body. He made a little house out of his skeleton system and organs. Trying not to disrupt his body's system.

Gray snuggled in the back of Natsu's neck, smelling his hair and pulling him close to him. He wanted to stay living in Natsu's body. His breath tickled Natsu's ear, making him shrug his shoulders every once in awhile. That made his grip tighter. His lips would scrape along Gray's knuckles. Maybe he wanted Gray to stay inside his body too.

But the scream of an alarm clock started to go off. Natsu scrunched up his nose, groaning and blinking. He started to sit up, pulling Gray's arm off of him. It was six in the morning, Natsu softly poked at the patch on his shoulder. It hurt, he crawled out of the bed, pulled on a baggy tee, took his medication, walked into the bathroom, pissed, and cleaned his tattoo with some bacterial soap. It seemed to be healing fine, he kept the patch off. He looked at the tattoo in the mirror. He smiled, having his fingers feel it to make sure it was real. Natsu splashed some water on his face and fell back on the bed. He kissed Gray's nose.

"Wake up. I'm hungry." Natsu said.

Gray groaned. He grabbed Natsu's waist and cuddled into him. Natsu laughed as Gray held him.

"Hey, get up!" Natsu nudged him.

Gray sighed and lifted up his head. Looking at the clock.

"Too early…." Gray mumbled and rested his head back down.

"Come on, Gray. I'm starving. I want you to make me breakfast."  
"We have cereal, get a bowl. I want a little more shut eye, baby. I'm tired."

Natsu groaned and rolled his eyes, "I'll wake you up in ten, okay?"

"Make it fifteen?"

"I'll make it five, instead."

"Love you too, asshole."

Natsu walked out and stretched. Lyon was up and watching _Jerry Springer_ and having a cup of coffee.

"Hey, morning Natsu," Lyon greeted, "Today's the day, huh? Excited?"

Natsu shyly laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, not really excited about a plane ride though."

"Motion sickness?"

"Yeah, I gotta stop by my house to get my cassette tape player before I leave or else I'll just vomit on the plane."

Lyon chuckled, "I don't know how the other passengers would feel about that."

"Not good, I'll tell you that."

Natsu licked his lips, "I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal. You guys got _Lucky Charms_?"

Lyon nodded, "Top cupboard."

Natsu walked out of the living room and into the kitchen. He heard the roar from the television audience. He got the milk and the box of cereal. He sighed and put his hands on the counter. In some odd hours, he would be on a plane ride where his future could be figured out. And that still scared the shit out of Natsu. Worries him half to death. Natsu got out a spoon and started to eat, he picked out all the marshmallow charms first. He kept glancing to see what was going on the television.

"Can you see if there's any cartoons on?" Natsu asked with a mouthful of marshmallows.

"Sure. Anything specific?"

"Check _Nickelodeon._ I think _Ren and Stimpy_ is on. Maybe _Rocko's Modern Life_ maybe"

"Anything for you, kiddo."

Lyon flipped through the channels while Natsu sat in a kitchen chair. Facing the living room while an episode of _Ren and Stimpy_ midway through started. He needed this. This nostalgic child-like feeling of eating sugary cereal and watching Saturday cartoons in the morning. Something before he had to feel like he was finally forced to grow up. He wished Peter Pan would show up and tell Natsu he could be a Lost Boy.

Gray came out of the bedroom, shirtless and only in a pair of boxers. He yawned and scratched his bed head. He teased Natsu's hair and looked in the living room.

"Nice. Cartoons." Gray said.

Natsu nodded, "I love _Ren and Stimpy_."

"Yeah, they're pretty bad ass. Do you still want me to make you some breakfast?"

"Nah, maybe just a new pot of coffee."

Gray kissed Natsu's cheek and pat his shoulder. Natsu smelt his morning breath.

"Of course, baby," Gray walked over and got a new coffee filter, "What time do you want to stop by your house?"

Natsu hummed, "Soon. After breakfast. I want to get there early. Can't miss that plane you know?"

Natsu laughed nervously, gripping his spoon tightly as he tried to catch more marshmallows. Gray saw his uneasy as he started to coffee maker. He knelt down on the ground and held Natsu's hands.

"What's wrong, baby?" Gray whispered.

" _Scared_ " Natsu mouthed.

" _What about?"_ Gray mouthed back.

" _Everything…"_

" _I told you. We'll be alright. You'll be alright,"_ Gray slid his thumb on Natsu's cheek, " _I'll be there every step of the way."_

Natsu smiled, " _Do you think it's still too late for me to overdose again?"_

Gray lightly punched his arm, he didn't like the joke. Yet Natsu softly laughed anyway. He squeezed Gray's hand, feeling comfort from it. A big squeeze to make it last.

" _I love you."_ Natsu mouthed

" _I love you too. I always will."_

" _I always will too."_

Gray smiled and kissed Natsu deeply.

"I'm gonna go ahead and shower," Gray stood up, "You finish up breakfast and have some coffee."

Natsu looked up. He looked up at Gray like the shepherds did to the Angel in the summer. Gray seemed like he glowed, Natsu was able to see that finally. The light yellow flare to his icy pale skin. He licked his lips and nodded.

"Okay."

Natsu finished his cereal while Gray was in the shower like they agreed. He had a cup of coffee while he got ready. He wore a beanie, a red flannel with an army jacket over it and ripped blue jeans. He wanted to stay warm on the plane ride. Gray came out with a towel around his waist, he kissed Natsu mid sip and took his coffee cup. He took a sip, Natsu laughed.

"You smell like soap…" Natsu said rubbing Gray's back before getting his coffee cup back, "So clean and fresh."

"Well I would hope so," Gray kissed the top of Natsu's head, "Get me a shirt please."

Gray dropped his towel and started to dry his hair while he put on boxers and joggers with the smiley face patch. Natsu got his hand print tee shirt and tossed it to Gray. Natsu smiled and sat on the bed cross legged.

"You remember the first time I wore that shirt? It seems like ages now." Natsu said.

"Yeah, you kept it forever. I thought I would never see it again," Gray put on the shirt and a few hemp bracelets. He smiled, "You looked so cute in it."

Natsu set the cup on the end table and stood up. He rubbed Gray's shoulders and kissed his neck.

"Would you have let me keep it?" Natsu whispered.

"I'd let you keep anything in the world,Flame brain," Gray turned around and kissed Natsu, "We better get everything in the car and head to your place. We can get something to eat maybe before we go to the airport."

* * *

"How do airports even work, anyway?" Natsu asked.

They had stopped by the coffee shop for two travel cup large coffees and all the muffins they had left from the morning. Which was about six or seven. Enough for Natsu on the plane ride. His favorite stale muffins. They were almost to Zeref's. Natsu hadn't seen him in a while. Only quick chats on the phone. Natsu's mouth felt dry.

"Well,"Gray sighed, "You go to the gate, they'll make you take off your shoes, scan your bag quick, then you wait to get on the plane. If your bag is too big for a carry on then you have to have them put it in the plane and get it once you're off."

Natsu hummed and shrugged, "Alright. Not too hard," Natsu sipped his coffee, "They won't take my pills will they?"

"No, no, not unless it's illegal or not prescribed to you. You'll be fine."

"Have you been on planes a lot?"

"Well, here and there for hockey tournaments if it's way out there. But usually we just take a bus."

Natsu nodded like he understood what Gray was talking about. But at this point he was trying to remember how many seconds were in an hour. Then two. Then three. But he got caught up in the numbers and didn't notice Gray was parking.

"You need me to go in for anything?"

Natsu shook his head, "No, it shouldn't take me long," Natsu kissed his cheek and popped open the door, "Keep it warm in here."

"Will do."

Natsu shut the car door. He looked up at the building, he wanted to cry. Natsu instead swallowed and started to walk forward, getting out his key. He saw Zeref's car in the parking lot. He walked up the stairs and unlocked the door. Happy rushed forward, crying out as he rubbed his back on Natsu's shins. Natsu smiled and sat down.

"Hey, buddy," Natsu said, petting Happy's head, "Miss me?"

Happy purred, rubbing into Natsu's palm. Natsu wondered if he could bring a cat on campus there. Happy might die if he wasn't with Natsu at all. Happy crawled on Natsu's lap, he picked Happy up and looked for Zeref. He heard the shower on in the bathroom as he walked towards his room. Natsu opened his bedroom door. He put Happy on the bed while he looked for his cassette player. His room had been untouched since he had moved everything out into Gray's place. He wondered if Zeref would come in at night to see if Natsu was in the bed. Maybe a quick peek to see if he would magically appear. Maybe he cuddled with Happy instead on the couch when he was whining. Zeref was a man, not a little sad and confused boy. Not Natsu.

Natsu found his player and his headphones. His hand glided on his pillow. That was one of the most uncomfortable pillow he ever had, yet he slept on it every night soundly. It had been there for him when no one else was to catch the tears.

"Feels real now, doesn't it?"

Natsu turned. Zeref's hair was damp with a glossy black. He had on light jeans and a tee shirt. He was leaning on the door frame with a smile and his arms crossed. Natsu swallowed and smiled back. Zeref opened up his arms wide while Natsu hugged him.

"Zeref…" Natsu breathed, "I missed you so much."

"Missed you too," Zeref rubbed Natsu's back, "Now I'm gonna be missing you again."

Natsu chuckled, "I'll just be gone for a week."

"Yeah, but if you get in you'll be gone longer than that."

"You'll visit won't you?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Zeref asked, "I'd be insane if I didn't have you, Natsu. I'll be missing you constantly."

"Heh, maybe we can get webcams and video chat."

"Ugh, have you seen the resolution on those things? It's horrible." Zeref said.

Natsu shook his head, "Nerd…"

Zeref held Natsu tightly. Burring his face in his hair, "You'll be okay up there by yourself won't you?"

"I won't be by myself. I'll still have you and everyone else here. I'll be…. I'll be okay."

Zeref bit his lip and gripped Natsu's jacket, "God you're so big. I feel like a dad right now."

"Pfft, you're way better than any fucking dad by a million," Natsu chewed the inside of his lip and lowered his head, "Don't tell Igneel that I left to California. He doesn't deserve to know."

Zeref nodded. He thought the gesture was cold but he wouldn't disobey, "Yeah. Yeah sure. No problem, Natsu."

Zeref pulled back, wiped his damp eyes and smiled. He took off Natsu's beanie and messed up his hair. Natsu laughed and snatched his beanie back.

"Little boy. _Little dragon._ Remember when I would call you that?"

Natsu chuckled, "Yeah, because my favorite animal is a dragon."

" _Still?"_

"Still."

"Dragons aren't real you know."

"Oh one day. One day they will be. The future is an amazing place I hear."

"My little dragon. Now you're my teenage brother who gets into shit he shouldn't ,"Zeref laughed, "You better get going huh?"

Natsu sighed, "Yeah… Yeah I should," he walked in Zeref's arms again, "I'm gonna miss you a lot." Natsu repeated

"No you won't. You'll forget about me during that week."

Zeref sounded kinda hopeful in that. Like he wanted Natsu to live in the future of California. Not the past of Ohio. Ohio had four seasons. California only had one. Sun. Summer. Heat. Warmth. A place Natsu could thrive in and grow. That's what he wanted for Natsu. To blossom into something beautiful.

Natsu smiled slightly, "Yeah… Maybe I will forget about you. Mmhm, that will be my first goal. Forget Zeref."

"That's the spirit," Zeref pulled back, "You want some snacks maybe for you trip? You have the money I gave you right?"

"Yes, Zeref, I have everything. And I'm good on snacks. I got a shit ton of muffins. But I'll use the phone really quick before I leave."

"Yeah, yeah sure go ahead."

Natsu wrapped up his headphones around his cassette tape and walked to the phone. He dialed Lucy's number and put the phone to his ear. It rang few times before there was a pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Luc. Today I'm shipping out. You want to meet me at the airport in an hour?"

"Well hell yeah I want to," Lucy replied, energetic, "Why wouldn't I? I gotta see you go."

Natsu chuckled, "Well get something to eat before I get one at the airport."

"You buying?"

"Pft, I don't have the funds for that. Bills don't chill, Luc."

"What fucking bills are you paying?"

"Watch your mouth, just meet me up. Look pretty for me, doll."

"Bye, broke-ass."

"Bye, bitch-ass."

Natsu hung up, his hand on the phone briefly before he started to laugh. Then started to cry, silently through the giggles. He was going to miss that girl. He loved her to bits. That was probably his first ever _love._ And he was leaving her. He was leaving Zeref. He was leaving Gray. He is sad. He is happy. He is more alone than he ever has been. He has more people in his life than he can count who care for him. Natsu is confused, yet now bright eyed. Zeref walks in and sees Natsu crying and laughing out of irony.

He wraps his arms around Natsu and whispers.

"Everything will be okay, Natsu."

"Yeah, I know!" Natsu gasped for air as he laughed and sobbed, "For once I really know it will."

* * *

They all sat down in the uncomfortable airport chairs that seemed to float and stick together. Lucy had a big burger in her hand while Natsu sucked on a milkshake and Gray was munching on fries. They all pitched in and bought a shit ton of fast food in the airport. They had a feast full of carbs and grease. Five burgers, ten piece chicken nuggets, three medium fries, a _Coke_ for Gray, milkshake for Natsu, a sweet tea for Lucy, and three chocolate chip cookies. Everything rang up to almost thirty dollars, but they swore they would eat every last bite like it would be the last time they ever ate.

Lucy swallowed and sighed, "God, I think I might become bulimic after this. I could honestly throw up."

Natsu popped a chicken nugget in his mouth, "Your shirt looks like it's gonna pop at the chest because your tits are already growing more. Do you even have fat on your stomach?"

Natsu poked Lucy's tummy and she giggled, "Don't, I'll throw up all over you."

"Please no, I'll up-chuck after you if you do that." Gray groaned.

They all looked at each other before cracking up. They snorted, smiling and jostling each other. Lucy put her arm around Natsu's shoulder. Gray kissed Natsu. All their attention was put on Natsu. Natsu felt himself shrugging down as he laughed, like he wanted to become the smallest person in the world. Lucy hugged Natsu.

"Oh, Natsu, my cute baby boy," Lucy sighed and pinched his cheek, "I'm gonna be thinking about you for a long time."

"Don't talk about me like I'm gone already, Luc."

"Well you'll never be really _gone._ There's no way I'll never forget Natsu Dragneel, the best fucking partier there is," Lucy smiled and kissed Natsu's cheek, "And the best friend I could ever have."

"Lucy…. You'll make yourself cry if you talk like that." Natsu mumbled.

"I'm not gonna cry. I promised myself I wouldn't before I left. And you're not gonna make me."

Natsu chuckled and squeezed her frail hand. Gray smiled, he bit into his cookie and chewed. He had his hand on Natsu's thigh. Natsu thought about them having sex. How his hand stayed put on his legs the whole time. Just to make sure he wouldn't float away from the hot air. Natsu sighed, he checked the big digital clocks around the airport. It was one forty. Ten minutes till his plane would depart. And so would he and Gray.

Natsu laid his head on Lucy's shoulder, closing his eyes. Lucy's arms draped around Natsu's neck.

"I'll miss your guy's smells," Natsu mumbled, "Your wooden vanilla smell and your spearmint gum. It's always so soothing when you two are around."

Lucy stroked Natsu's cheek, "You know what you smell like? Like a cinnamon candle and fire wood."

Gray smiled, "He smells like ash and sweets to me. Like cigarettes in a cake."

Lucy giggled. Natsu's eyelids twitched, "Does it smell good?" Natsu asked.

Gray kissed Natsu, "Amazingly unique."

Natsu opened his eyes and rolled them, "So weird. Great."

"No, unique, dummy," Gray said, "Different, something that makes you the person I love."

"Awwww."

"Lucy, shut up."

"But that was soooo cute and mushy." Lucy groaned.

Natsu sighed, the speaker turned on.

"Flight to California, San Francisco is now boarding at gate C. Flight to California, San Francisco is now boarding at gate C."

Lucy looked down at the ground, then she smiled. She slapped her legs and stood up.

"Well, that's you," Lucy held out her arms, "Come here and give me a hug."

Natsu wrapped his arms around her. She stroked Lucy's hair and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm gonna miss you,honey," Natsu mumbled, feeling tears fall on his shirt, "Hey, hey, you said no crying," Natsu lifted Lucy's head and wiped under her eyes, "You're gonna make me cry."

Lucy sadly laughed and closed her eyes. She caught a few falling tears, "I know. But I'm just gonna miss not having classes with you anymore…"

That wasn't true, but she had to say something. That was the only thing she could think of. What she really was thinking about was never having Natsu in her car anymore for awhile. Or not having him spend the night while they are ice cream and Lucy would cry about her parents. She'd miss the voice who would give her strong advice. Natsu knew that she had a million words stored inside of her that wanted to rip out. Natsu pulled her back in his chest.

"Yeah. Me too."

"You better call me everyday this week. And when you get that apartment because you got into the school, you call me. When you're going to classes. Call. Me."

"I get it, I'll call you."

Lucy pulled back, her blue eyes red as she dried tears with her palm. Gray had his hands in his pocket and looked at Natsu. Natsu bit his lip and ran in Gray's arms. He stayed silent while Gray hugged him.

"I love you, baby…" Gray trailed.

Natsu lifted up his head and kissed Gray hard. His chest against his as his heart tried to synchronize with Gray's.

"I love you too, I love you so fucking much," Natsu inhaled, "I'm gonna miss you so much."

"Shut up," Gray kissed Natsu's cheek a few times, "Stop saying that. Worry about that interview, not missing me."

Natsu shook his head, "Then I'll secretly miss you. So you'll never know."

Gray smiled. God that _smile_. He put his hand on Natsu's cheek and kissed him deeply.

"I can deal with that," Gray pulled back and put his hand in his pocket, "Here, something for you to listen to on the plane ride."

There were two tapes in Natsu's hand. One was the _Sonic Youth_ tape and an unlabeled tape. Natsu gasped and punched Gray's chest.

" _You_ were the one who kept my tape. Asshole."

Gray chuckled and teased his hair, "I was saving it for a rainy day," Natsu wrapped his arms around Gray's neck, "I was wondering if I should ever give it back to you."

"Thank you," Natsu breathing in Gray's ear, "For everything. Every last damn thing."

Gray smiled, "Shh, get on the plane."

Natsu pulled back, "Think of me." Natsu said grabbing his bags.

"I always will." Gray pressed his lips to his fingers and blew him a kiss. He waved at the two of them.

Natsu waved and handed the ticket. Once Natsu walked down the narrow hall and the stairs, he shuffled on the plane. Turning inward on himself as he sat by the tiny window. He got out his tape player and popped in the tape. He pulled on his headphones. The sound started out fuzzy.

"Natsu, I wanna say I love you and this is for you," Pause…., "One two three, one two three…"

Natsu's eyes widened. Gray's soft voice came on before the guitar started. Natsu bit his lip and started to laugh gently.

 _A mix tape. He made me a goddamn mix tape…. Are you fucking kidding me?_

Natsu closed his eyes. They started to water while little dribbles of tears started to tail down his chin. Gray made him the tape as a reminder of home. Not a home with no father, or drugs, or lonely nights. A tape made for remembering diners at one in the morning. Watching the band play. Dancing with Lucy. Making love with Gray. The coffee shop...

 _I can't believe the news today,_

 _Oh, I can't close my eyes and make it go away,_

 _How long,_

 _How long must we sing this song?_

 _'cause tonight...we can be as one  
Tonight...  
Broken bottles under children's feet  
Bodies strewn across the dead end street  
But I won't heed the battle call  
It puts my back up  
Puts my back up against the wall  
Sunday, Bloody Sunday  
Sunday, Bloody Sunday  
Sunday, Bloody Sunday  
And the battle's just begun  
There's many lost, but tell me who has won_

Natsu smiled.

 _I have. I've won and lost. But right now I'm winning._

Natsu cried quietly, still not opening his eye and the smile on his lips. He was losing. He was fighting.

But he sure as hell was going to be happy.

* * *

 _See you guys next time._


End file.
